Poll of the Day > First impressions are overrated

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've met a lot of people that didn't like me the first time we met but started to love me pretty quickly. Its already happened multiple times this year.

My first impressions of this topic are you're correct.

I've almost always been right about my first impressions. Nothing gets better the more I give it a chance, it will just find a way to disappoint me more.

Most people I became friends with start off on a sour note, but then, as misanthropic as I am, it's pretty damn hard for anyone to have a first impression on me that isn't some variation of 'annoying thing that I want to go away.'

Skill issue. I've been right about every single person I've ever met.

First impressions are strange. Are you overthinking how other people perceived you? Do other people have too high of expectations? Both parties are usually asking both questions simultaneously.

I think so too.

Snoregasm posted...

Skill issue. I've been right about every single person I've ever met.

But pretty seriously this. If your first impressions are often wrong, then you have faulty intuition or warped perspective/world view of the people you meet in a given social setting. Those dulled instincts even just a couple hundred years ago would mean that there's a 50/50 shot you would have died (or at the very least been scammed) from not being able to determine friend from foe.

"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover."

"That's the whole point of covers though."

"First Impressions" stigma seems like something older generations push to justify their bullying. People can change over time. People are so much more than just their flaws. People are still worth value even if you do not always get along with them.

First impressions are full of bias and judgment. Sad fact of life.

Sometimes you'll dislike a person simply because they look like someone you hated in the past.

Or you'll like them because they remind you of someone positive you know.

There are also a disturbing number of people in this world who are satisfied with their current number of friends, and arent looking to make a new one....so they will meet a new person and psychologically break them down and completely fabricate reasons not to like them....just so they dont have to put forth the effort of getting to know them, because they have no intentions of becoming their friend.

Just dismissing them before they even got to know them. And hating someone (even if it's for some BS reason) is the easiest way to do that without needing to blame yourself.

"Meh, he doesnt make eye-contact with me in the hall, or say hi in the parking lot. So he's an asshole."

But he actually did make eye-contact. He even waved and said hello in the parking lot. But there was that ONE time he was exiting the bathroom and the other person was standing by the water fountain, and it just didnt seem like the time or place for eye-contact and a "hello" and for whatever reason...they locked that minuscule interaction down as the one to encapsulate their entire persona.

"hE dOeSn'T eVeN SaY HeLLo!!!!"

(I've seen people do this multiple times, and it's fucking insane).

Also, when it comes to dating, "first impressions" are almost always based on animalistic attraction and nothing more.

If anyone tries to turn this into an argument (because people tend to do this when I give strange examples), just lettin you know right now that I aint playin yer game ;)

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

"First Impressions" stigma seems like something older generations push to justify their bullying. People can change over time. People are so much more than just their flaws. People are still worth value even if you do not always get along with them.

You must be young

I've given people benefit of the doubt for most of my life. I've gone above and beyond trying not to dislike someone or something, trying to find anything redeeming about them. In fact, I spent a majority of my life so desperate for friendship I ignored red flag after red flag. But I've learned, no, people don't change for the better. They only ever get worse. Their "good" qualities are never enough to make up for their narcissism, laziness, entitlement and any other number of self serving qualities. Even the "Good Ones" end up betraying you.

In the words of Dr. Perry Cox, "People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling"