Poll of the Day > My family is upset at me for calling out a nephew on something racist

(+) Yeah! (+)

in a family group text, my nephew (13yo) responded to a message about growing watermelons with an AI generated image of a white guy in blackface eating watermelon.

I did a thumbs down react and said that was racist imagery, and he responded that he was sorry and didnt know it was bad, just thought it was a silly picture that matched the convo. Whatever. Maybe it was, maybe it wasnt, but at least he apologized.

Anyway his mom (my sister) told me a little later that he was crying because he was so embarrassed, and my mom called and told me I was too hard on him for not knowing that blackface and watermelon stereotypes were a thing. Also several people in the group text were like its okay we know you didnt mean it dont be sorry.

And like yeah, mistakes happen and ignorance is a real thing especially for young people, but that doesnt make it okay. Like you should be kind of embarrassed, right? And its not like I yelled at him or even lectured him about it. I literally just said it was inappropriate and racist.

Itll blow over but its annoying to be the bad guy for calling it out

If I was your family, I'd start a new group text and not invite you.

Yeah, that's really gross behavior on their part. You should be ashamed and embarrassed over being racist(even accidentally), and it's not like you were mean to him: you just calmly explained why it wasn't okay, and he obviously took it to heart (good on him!).
His mom is being overly protective in a way that makes me think she's maybe prioritizing his comfort over him not being racist, which...ew.

Other than your sister, it sounds like everything went pretty much how it should have: You called him out, he accepted his mistake, other people chimed in to support his moment of growth. If he was full-on crying then he may have taken it harder than he needed to and it might be worth reaching out to him to say that it's all good because he's accepted that he did something wrong and will learn from it, but otherwise I don't think there's much else more to say.

Anyway did you guys know meta ai could even make that kind of image? It was honestly kind if funny how absurd it was. Like the kind of thing youd explicitly train it not to do lmao

MrMelodramatic posted...

its okay we know you didnt mean it dont be sorry.

absurd cope from the family. why wouldn't you be sorry.

RIGHT?

Like I remember when I was like 9 I made an antiemetic joke because I heard someone at school say it and I just repeated it. Got in trouble in school, learned why it was bad, felt bad, and then didnt say that joke anymore. I did feel sorry.

Wait, I misread "don't be sorry." Yeah that's pretty dumb. Being sorry isn't a bad thing, unless you take it too far and start hating yourself for whatever you need to apologize for. No wonder he was upset if this is how he normally gets treated for making a mistake.

That's literally the best situation to be sorry in. You're wrong but you get sympathy because you didn't know! .. but now you do.

Exactly. Make mistake, get called out on mistake, apologize for mistake, get forgiven for mistake with no lasting consequences. It's like the barest minimum amount of personal accountability somebody can take.

Hi guys. Everything is a teachable moment and that's how people should grow. Thanks guys.

Kallainanna posted...

Yeah, that's really gross behavior on their part. You should be ashamed and embarrassed over being racist(even accidentally), and it's not like you were mean to him: you just calmly explained why it wasn't okay, and he obviously took it to heart (good on him!).
His mom is being overly protective in a way that makes me think she's maybe prioritizing his comfort over him not being racist, which...ew.

As a primary teacher, I deal with accidental racism every so often. It was handled the right way. You just explain why its not okay and stress the importance of how its not okay. Obviously if the child repeats the behaviour, its a different process entirely.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8e02bb35.jpg

There was a glimpse of hope because he showed some dignity for a second by acting like a completely normal human being, but his parents evidently undid all of that already.

Make sure he doesn't put his mouth on the glass panes at supermarkets.

Also, you know how many times growing up I said something fucked up without realizing it? I laughed at 9/11 because it was funny, and everyone in the room responded by groaning at my comment. And then I knew I shouldn't say stuff like that in front of most people. I didn't even really feel bad about it. It was really not that serious.

It's also just really suspicious that they made sure he felt like he did nothing wrong.

MrMelodramatic posted...

RIGHT?

Like I remember when I was like 9 I made an antiemetic joke because I heard someone at school say it and I just repeated it. Got in trouble in school, learned why it was bad, felt bad, and then didnt say that joke anymore. I did feel sorry.

Same here.

In my sixth grade science class, we had a new student in the middle of the year, and when we introduced ourselves and our interests, it degenerated into jokes about how we like to do terrorist acts as hobbies (like setting off bombs and whatnot). As a very stupid 12-year-old fixated on South Park-type jokes without understanding what makes them work, I decided to attempt to best all my classmates by claiming to be in the KKK.

My teacher came down on that pretty hard. Never tried that again.

Well, he didn't know, now he learned. Life is tough, we cry sometimes. He'll get over it, and you might have saved him from being unintentionally racist and making someone pretty upset.

*shrugs*

You should post what he did on social media so the whole world can see what he did.

Sounds like you guys had a normal interaction and they're being overly sensitive.

Freedom of speech!

SHALL!

NOT!

BE!

IN!

FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGED!!!!!

.....depressing when people respond this way.