Current Events > Was your father your defender or more of a bully?

(+) Yeah! (+)

He was absolutely abusive. Physically and mentally. He's always putting us down, and he used to be violent. It's all just been threats for about 12 years though. I think he's trying to coast in his old behavior to make us still fear him, but he's just a joke. He always was, but I didn't realize that as a kid.

both

he beat me, threw out every toy and piece of clothing once, and fed me my own vomit

Dungeater posted...

and fed me my own vomit

Ew, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Mine never went that far.

My dad was amazing. I was raised by a single father.

My father was the best man I've ever known.

I don't think my dad ever knew about my bullies

Posted from a previous topic about dads:

My dad mostly worked and I was a latchkey kid but even though we didnt do much together and I was largely left to my own, he always provided well and made sure I was taken care of. When he was home he was mostly sleeping from working so hard and long hours. So we often went all week without even really speaking until his weekend and then it was small stuff like "What do you want to eat?" For a guy to get full custody in the 70s was a pretty big deal and he raised me as a single dad and I always knew his actions meant way more than any words.

So yeah my dad is pretty legit. Hes the only person I regularly talk to and he called me Wednesday to wish me happy birthday. Im 48, he never forgets and always calls me even though Im very private and just want to be left alone by most people in the world it makes me feel good when I get a happy birthday from my dad.

It will be a sad day when hes gone someday. Legitimately one of the only people that really matters to me and hes been dependable my entire life. Guy has stepped up to the plate from day 1 when he was just 17 years old and got my mom pregnant. My dad is great.

I know these threads seem to turn into the majority of CE venting their terrible experiences and upbringing but I didn't have that. My dad was awesome, even if he was at work or sleeping most of the time. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents but I knew my dad would do anything for me if it came down to it.

deceased

He wouldn't bully me, but he would join in on (harmless) teasing
He was my defender

A little bit of these two combined. He was big on remaining humble and encouraged self effacing humor (often employing it on himself), but when someone was being malicious he clapped back.

KogaSteelfang posted...

He was absolutely abusive. Physically and mentally. He's always putting us down, and he used to be violent. It's all just been threats for about 12 years though. I think he's trying to coast in his old behavior to make us still fear him, but he's just a joke. He always was, but I didn't realize that as a kid.

I always feel the strong pull to say that I want to punch your dad in the face
Dungeater posted...

fed me my own vomit

Jesus Christ
Yeah, yours too. Fuck that guy

its ok i got the last laugh, i crossdress

I think it depended on beer

I know he defended me a couple times

Jiek_Fafn posted...

I always feel the strong pull to say that I want to punch your dad in the face

Honestly, the worst part was how he always trash talked me to everyone he knew. He was always ashamed of me, but if any of his buddies were around he'd get furious if I didn't come say hi, only for him to start insulting me in front of them, and having them laugh at me. I eventually started refusing to leave my room, but I'd hear him talking about me anyway and how pathetic I am for not leaving my room. Then he's just beat me for embarrassing him afterwards, but that easier to recover from than being humiliated in front of them all.

My dad loved screaming at the top of his lungs and would regularly beat my mom and I. Also I was born right handed but he apparently broke it when I was a small child and I learned to write with my left hand as a result.

He's still alive and still an unhappy asshole who blames everyone else for his shortcomings and he's now three times divorced.

Oh and I will add that to this day if I hear a grown man angry shout I freak the fuck out. Like start shaking and crying. So that's some leftover trauma from growing up with my abusive prick of a dad.

RetuenOfDevsman posted...

I don't think my dad ever knew about my bullies

same. I never said anything. I want my son to come to me tho.

Hed always say Im dumb or stupid.

Hed choke our Yorkie or put hands on my mom. He even stole her car by almost running her over and busting through the garage.

He was a drunken time bomb that used violence to solve every issue. In a home with kids, a woman, and lap dogs.

Being the pussy that he was, he always backed down when other men were around.

Fuck him. If he died tomorrow, Id never be more excited.

So bully.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Honestly, the worst part was how he always trash talked me to everyone he knew. He was always ashamed of me, but if any of his buddies were around he'd get furious if I didn't come say hi, only for him to start insulting me in front of them, and having them laugh at me. I eventually started refusing to leave my room, but I'd hear him talking about me anyway and how pathetic I am for not leaving my room. Then he's just beat me for embarrassing him afterwards, but that easier to recover from than being humiliated in front of them all.

Now Im wanting to punch him
you seem like a cool guy from posts here. I only had trouble with people who I could attempt to avoid at school and had no problems at home. Its genuinely frustrating how emotional abuse and physical can transform how you behave and start loathing about how you should have acted or handled the situation better I get them thoughts all the time like why did I just say nothing i should have responded then why do I let the past bother me to the worst that drives me actually mad thinking back on it the way I blamed myself maybe if I behaved like how they wanted way back then i possibly wouldnt have this so bad
its just how I drove myself a bit mad stressing on it but then I realised the person was just a complete dick from the start why am I thinking of changing to please a dude who was cruel in the first place (this was all literally just some guy at my school and another 2 of his friends who had some issues and he tried to blow up someones house 3 years after the incident of him bullying me by saying I was unable to talk and I got in trouble and kicked from hs for being a brain dead mute, that never happened I dont know where he got that from seeing as i only seen him in 3 classes each day and how would he get that info in the first place) anyway i kinda rambled the point is to stop dwelling and focus on the future even though i tend to think of it a lot you should just stop its in the past, it its not your fault at all im
not sure your now situation but confidence helps a lot in making friendships skills and liking yourself and I think you look pretty good in that pic

His antagonistic ways of dealing with me made him more of a bully than an ally. He had his moments but unless it was physical he wasn't much of a protector.