Current Events > If the 2024 Election is determined by ritual combat ala Black Panther, who wins?

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Garabandal
03/13/24 4:33:49 PM
#1:


Got my money on Biden

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Can you think of a more horrible way to die than to be torn to shreds by a horde of monster crabs? I can't... because it almost happened to me.
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Panthera
03/13/24 4:34:37 PM
#2:


Double kill, both men have a heart attack

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Meow!
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NeonOPPAl
03/13/24 4:39:02 PM
#3:


Biden is old and Trump is fat. It's probably a 50/50 toss up

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Simon_Gruber
03/13/24 4:39:14 PM
#4:


Trump quickly has a heart attack, collapses on Biden smothering him to death. Double Elimination.
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ultimate_reaver
03/13/24 4:40:28 PM
#5:


Double cardiac arrest

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I pray god will curse the writer, as the writer has cursed the world with this beautiful, stupendous creation, terrible in its simplicity, irresistible in truth
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SpawnShadow
03/13/24 4:45:02 PM
#6:


NeonOPPAl posted...
Biden is old and Trump is fat. It's probably a 50/50 toss up
Trump is also pretty old himself, while Biden at least appears to be reasonably fit for his age. I'd say the odds are more in Joe's favor, as long as he plays smart and doesn't overexert himself before Trump gives himself a heart attack courtesy of his hamberder addiction.
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AlveinFencer
03/13/24 4:48:51 PM
#7:


We all lose, especially if they fight shirtless.

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Boku wa Dhaos wo taosu!
This board is a daycare with no adults.-HoshinoKatta
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specialkid8
03/13/24 4:49:14 PM
#8:


They're both elderly and unfit but Trump has weight on his side. Unless Biden is allowed to wield his dark arts or is able to play keep away he's getting grappled and pinned.

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HashtagSEP
03/13/24 4:50:08 PM
#9:


Biden fell off a bike once because he can actually ride a bike.

Trump needed help walking down a slight incline.

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#SEP #Awesome #Excellent #Greatness #SteveNash #VitaminWater #SmellingLikeTheVault #Pigeon #Sexy #ActuallyAVeryIntelligentVelociraptor #Heel #CoolSpot #EndOfSig
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Tyranthraxus
03/13/24 5:10:24 PM
#10:


Trump is one of those pussies where if you punch him in the face he's just going to break down crying on the spot like "waaaahhhhh you punched me in the face"

That's really what his problem is, nobody ever punched him in the face.

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It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
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Red_XIV
03/13/24 5:13:04 PM
#11:


They're both ancient, but Trump is in worse health. His only chance would be if Biden falls down and Trump sits on him.

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"We will end our resilience for bad things." "We have pioneered the fatality rate."
More brilliant insights from Donald Chump
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LeoRavus
03/13/24 5:14:00 PM
#12:


There's only a 3 or 4 year age difference. Why do people act like Biden is the crypt keeper and Trump is some spring chicken.

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This is where cool people write stuff.
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uwnim
03/13/24 5:24:46 PM
#13:


LeoRavus posted...
There's only a 3 or 4 year age difference. Why do people act like Biden is the crypt keeper and Trump is some spring chicken.
Propaganda contaminated public knowledge.

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[Order of the Cetaceans: Phocoena dioptrica]
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Trumble
03/13/24 5:25:37 PM
#14:


Double KO.

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Do, or do not. There is no Trumble.
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Seaman_Prime
03/13/24 5:41:06 PM
#15:


Why the larger one of course, all he is has to do is simply eat the smaller president
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