Current Events > Andddddd me and her are done again. Again.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Basically after our convo last week I thought we where finally in a good place and we had an understanding.

She said some really nice things about Me, some of which I had been waiting to hear from her for years, and I thought we finally had an understanding.

Today she basically tried to gaslight by saying she didnt say it or she didnt say it like that or thats not what she meant.

So like yeah Im actually hurt this time, I felt like we where moving past our same cycle of behavior and I thought we where growing.

Didn't you just make this topic like two days ago?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That's the one. And he refuses to listen to e everyone in his life and on here that tells him to move on.

You bothering that Wendy's drive-thru chick again?

Bandit_Keith posted...

That's the one. And he refuses to listen to e everyone in his life and on here that tells him to move on.

I was going to say that this situation sounds unhealthy and he should cut his losses and walk away, but now Im not so sure.

Bandit_Keith posted...

That's the one. And he refuses to listen to e everyone in his life and on here that tells him to move on.

So complete transparency, I took her for word in her best most vulnerable moments over her word any other times.

so the times she was crying to me, our heart to heart convos her issues with her family. I held those convos to higher weight than our other convos.

So when shed say how much I mean to her or what our relationship status is or will be in the future I took her for her word there,

The issue is when she not being vulnerable she Gas lights me like it never happened.

He came here spilling his guts come on guys.

uh huh ok

Oh look, it's this topic again.

Poor gamesimp

https://youtu.be/WyF8RHM1OCg?si=I4KXntNr6aUbts-Q

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I dont know why people act like thats so
weird in todays age in dating where people constantly avoid any real commitment in favor of having this nebulous of options open.

FolkenRawr posted...

Didn't you just make this topic like two days ago?

Yes, we literally had a conversation last week I was extreme happy with, it was honest and vulnerable and it felt like we made real progress.

last night we revisited this conversation and she basically denied everything important she said here and tried to gaslit me about it.

During one of her low moments, you should propose. Make sure to make it a big event and do it in front of other people too. Then it's too awkward to take back and she's stuck with you

keep us posted

Huge waste of your time. Shes playing games....

This is a game right. None of this is real. I really hope it isn't

Friends,

I am not an expert in many things, but "failed relationships" I have tons of experience in.

The "right " person is a joy to be around. Note I did not say the "perfect" person,
just the right.

and you only know when its the right one, when you been through like 30
wrong ones.

done be afraid to be alone, and focus on yourself.

Just stop talking to this person bruh

This isnt even an actual relationship is it?

drclaeys posted...

Friends,

I am not an expert in many things, but "failed relationships" I have tons of experience in.

The "right " person is a joy to be around. Note I did not say the "perfect" person,
just the right.

and you only know when its the right one, when you been through like 30
wrong ones.

done be afraid to be alone, and focus on yourself.

Fact.

Right person isn't the one playing these weird games. Assuming this is even not some weird joke.

drclaeys posted...

Friends,

I am not an expert in many things, but "failed relationships" I have tons of experience in.

The "right " person is a joy to be around. Note I did not say the "perfect" person,
just the right.

and you only know when its the right one, when you been through like 30
wrong ones.

done be afraid to be alone, and focus on yourself.

This guy knows whats up.

A good relationship makes you feel safe and happy.

People who gaslight like that dont know what they want, from my experience.

its ok to be alone, get your confidence back, figure out what you like, and remember that just because you two had good memories, that bad stuff happened too.

gamepimp12 posted...

I dont know why people act like thats so
weird in todays age in dating where people constantly avoid any real commitment in favor of having this nebulous of options open.

Having said this... Have you ever actually been in a relationship let alone on a date? This is a wild generalization

Will_VIIII posted...

Having said this... Have you ever actually been in a relationship let alone on a date? This is a wild generalization

Yes and yes ?

how is that a wild generalization. Thats generally how everybody describes modern dating ?

you meet so many people you kinda always hold out hope somebody better will come along, meaning you rarely fully commit to something.

ssb_yunglink2 posted...

Just stop talking to this person bruh

This isnt even an actual relationship is it?

yeah Im done at this point.

I held out hope from our last convo almost a year ago where she was crying telling me all these superficial reasons we didnt work how much I stress her out etc etc and it was a really passion convo and it was her being vulnerable in a way she typically isnt.

when we finally reconnected last week she basically continued with that vulnerability. Only to deny it yesterday.

drclaeys posted...

Friends,

I am not an expert in many things, but "failed relationships" I have tons of experience in.

The "right " person is a joy to be around. Note I did not say the "perfect" person,
just the right.

and you only know when its the right one, when you been through like 30
wrong ones.

done be afraid to be alone, and focus on yourself.

You can always rely on good ole Doc to speak the truth!

Just to clarify what happened.

so as a part of our last real convo a year ago she made note of how the hour and a half distance was too much for her, her specifically mentioning that she shouldnt be stressing out over me with me living so far away.

So in our convo last week she mentioned her lease is up in august and she doesnt know what shes gonna do after that and moving back home is on the table, and she doesnt know what the future will hold here if she does.

so apparently I was wrong to take that as a statement of her being willing to try again romantically in the future.

gamepimp12 posted...

Just to clarify what happened.

so as a part of our last real convo a year ago she made note of how the hour and a half distance was too much for her, her specifically mentioning that she shouldnt be stressing out over me with me living so far away.

So in our convo last week she mentioned her lease is up in august and she doesnt know what shes gonna do after that and moving back home is on the table, and she doesnt know what the future will hold here if she does.

so apparently I was wrong to take that as a statement of her being willing to try again romantically in the future.

Didn't read, don't care, everyone has been telling you that you were wrong for a long time, you brought it on yourself. If you're not a gimmick poster, your life is equivalent to one. Go fucking, take time off, argue about Gaara's sand mechanics for a while or something.

gamepimp12 posted...

Today she basically tried to gaslight by saying she didnt say it or she didnt say it like that or thats not what she meant.

She is probably right

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



uhhhh I definitely dated around, I dont know where you got that from.

this entire time Ive dated around, I just didnt really have anything successful in a permanent sense. I met few a really cool girl that lives too far for anything serious and a lot of local girls fizzled out super quickly.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



UHH cause commitment is very scary, I was pretty open to her recently about how actually dating her scares me because I feel like after all weve been through we gotta get married to make it worth it and that pressure is intimidating.

im just honestly confused as to how my take on how dating nowadays is is so unheard of to you, its literal documented research on that subject

Guide posted...

Didn't read, don't care, everyone has been telling you that you were wrong for a long time, you brought it on yourself. If you're not a gimmick poster, your life is equivalent to one. Go fucking, take time off, argue about Gaara's sand mechanics for a while or something.

and like I said I always took her for her most vulnerable words regarding us. If I take the fall for believing people in their realest moments it is what it is.

I just talk about it on here because its an easy way to vent into the void.

Also the speed at which gaaras sand moves has consistently increased with his skill as a ninja.

most people cant react to said sand anymore

Bump cause bored and off from work today

gamepimp12 posted...

Bump cause bored and off from work today

Thinking you would HAVE to get married is a really silly idea. The pressure is made by that, nothing else.

What are you seeking when you bump these topics? Only ask because I noticed it before....

projectpat72988 posted...

Thinking you would HAVE to get married is a really silly idea. The pressure is made by that, nothing else.

What are you seeking when you bump these topics? Only ask because I noticed it before....

I agree that its silly but. After a certain amount of time dealing with someone those kind of expectations do crop up. After messing with someone for years it is social pressure to get married.

as far as the bumps I mainly just want a venting session and a distraction.

I would have called this a classic case of "on again, off again", but if I understand correctly, you skipped the "on" part altogether.

Also updates

1. found out shes basically been telling me one thing and telling everyone else something different. Big surprise right.
2. shes talking to some dude and was when we went out the other day. Which I wouldnt of been mad about if she didnt lie about it, because I legit asked about if she was serious enough about something that would make our situation awkward and she said no.

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

I would have called this a classic case of "on again, off again", but if I understand correctly, you skipped the "on" part altogether.

Never officially had the title. But weve had convos about kids, moving in together, what the next few years of our lives would be etc etc.

gamepimp12 posted...

I agree that its silly but. After a certain amount of time dealing with someone those kind of expectations do crop up. After messing with someone for years it is social pressure to get married.

as far as the bumps I mainly just want a venting session and a distraction.

Dude what? No it isn't. You have never even been in an official relationship with her. Why even bring up marriage?

And yes, you're right that in modern dating, it's a lot more common than it used to be for people to have what's called Grass Is Greener Syndrome. Which is an inability to feel content with your life as it is, and relentlessly seek something better. But there are plenty of people that don't fall into that mindset at all.

You need to let this woman go and stop excusing these games as just something that happens in modern dating. A good partner won't make you feel like this.

NoxObscuras posted...

Dude what? No it isn't. You have never even been in an official relationship with her. Why even bring up marriage?

And yes, you're right that in modern dating, it's a lot more common than it used to be for people to have what's called Grass Is Greener Syndrome. Which is an inability to feel content with your life as it is, and relentlessly seek something better. But there are plenty of people that don't fall into that mindset at all.

You need to let this woman go and stop excusing these games as just something that happens in modern dating. A good partner won't make you feel like this.

yeah Im done with her now.

but yeah I had that marriage mindset, because we had conversations about it. We had convos about moving across the country etc etc, the kids wed have etc etc.

a lot of convos we shouldnt of had in a situation ship.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



So to clarify some things cause I can see why youre misconstruing them.

The Here she was referring to was me and her relationship. Cause I specifically responded something along the lines of no promises cause its alot of work to do here

earlier in the convo we spoke about her moving and what effect it would have on her personal life, her moving came back up in the conversation when we where talking about us and where we went wrong specifically.

and when I say vulnerable, I dont mean her vulnerable as in hysterical, weak minded, or in the wrong state of mind.

I mean her being vulnerable as in our face to face convos where we talk about our feelings, the traumas we had in life, etc etc. pretty emotionally stable conversation, just vulnerable ones.

the only convo thats even kinda hysterical I hold in decent regards is when she was crying yelling at me all the reasons we dont work and how she stresses herself out about it all the time.

Yeah nah youre fine. I can see why it would sound like I was pressuring her to get the answer I wanted so I could run with that Vs whatever she said any other time.

But no she was voluntarily telling me one thing telling anyone we both know something different.

I came into that convo the other day not expecting for us dating to come up. So I was genuinely surprised to did.

which is why I got upset when she took it back. That and her basically lying about having a boyfriend right now (just found that out recently)

Lol jfc

Glad you've moved on TC. The right one would would not do these things to you.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Pw-8AGRcyvk

DCinGA posted...

Glad you've moved on TC. The right one would would not do these things to you.

appreciate it.

I kept ALOT of guilt after our last fight because of the way it ended, her damn near crying yelling at me over our relationship and thats really what made me want to repair everything.

but I no longer feel that guilt.