Current Events > I've never dated or slept with a woman...

(+) Yeah! (+)

...or anyone.
-___-

They won't make you happier anyway and then they'll break your heart

Well then do it!

Every time Koga posts, I want to find his dad and punch him in the face

I've dated and slept with a woman, it ain't all that tbh

In my experience it just opens you up to manipulation and abuse.

It's fun

You are a tremendously great guy also, they are missing out.

Same brah

itcheyness posted...

I've dated and slept with a woman, it ain't all that tbh

In my experience it just opens you up to manipulation and abuse.

Being alive opens you up to manipulation and abuse.

I have seen your posts and topics before. IMO you should see an escort. It doesnt completely take away the shitty feelings regarding missing out etc but it takes A LOT of the edge off of them. And its not like you cant start dating normally after seeing the escort. Dont get a shady hooker in the US (assuming youre American) but rather go somewhere where its legal/regulated and make a little vacation out of it.

That's not particularly uncommon on video game forums.

Crimsoness posted...

They won't make you happier anyway and then they'll break your heart

Probably.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

In my mind, I know this. It's my heart that disagrees.

Damn_Underscore posted...

Well then do it!

-___-

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Every time Koga posts, I want to find his dad and punch him in the face

I literally laughed out loud. I get what you mean, but that comment came from left field. lol

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thanks.

itcheyness posted...

I've dated and slept with a woman, it ain't all that tbh

In my experience it just opens you up to manipulation and abuse.

I'd like to find out for myself. Just to know, y'know?

SauI_Goodman posted...

It's fun

I assume so.

MabusIncarnate posted...

You are a tremendously great guy also, they are missing out.

Thanks, but we all know you're the greatest tremendously great guy here.

BloodMoon7 posted...

Same brah

*Pats you on the back*
I guess we're in this together.

TheSavageDragon posted...

Being alive opens you up to manipulation and abuse.

Story of my life, man. Seriously.

SecretBase posted...

That's not particularly uncommon on video game forums.

I guess.

KanWan posted...

You can always have sex with someone

-___-

KogaSteelfang posted...

I'd like to find out for myself. Just to know, y'know?

I think you should, just to determine it for yourself.
I remember losing my virginity at 15 years old and even back then thinking "Wait...this is what everyone loses their shit over? It's nice, but really? That's it?"
Don't get me wrong, it's an entirely different experience when it's someone you love with all your heart and soul. But even then...it really isn't anything to decide your worth as a person over.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Never planned on it. Nothing against people who have used or provide those services, but it really creeps me out. Feels like your renting someone's body as a plaything. I don't think I could even if I wanted to.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Seriously - why do you consider this such bad advice?

TheSavageDragon posted...

I think you should, just to determine it for yourself.

-___-

Wish I had that option.

CoolMaskGuy posted...

I have seen your posts and topics before. IMO you should see an escort. It doesnt completely take away the shitty feelings regarding missing out etc but it takes A LOT of the edge off of them. And its not like you cant start dating normally after seeing the escort. Dont get a shady hooker in the US (assuming youre American) but rather go somewhere where its legal/regulated and make a little vacation out of it.

This. TC is over 40 right? Might as well take the easy way and pay for it. Nothing wrong with inputting a cheat code if the game (life) is too difficult.

TheSavageDragon posted...

I think you should, just to determine it for yourself.
I remember losing my virginity at 15 years old and even back then thinking "Wait...this is what everyone loses their shit over? It's nice, but really? That's it?"
Don't get me wrong, it's an entirely different experience when it's someone you love with all your heart and soul. But even then...it really isn't anything to decide your worth as a person over.

My first time was very similar feeling. I've been with... A lot of women and honestly it's been a largely empty experience. Sex with someone you love really is drastically different.

Pikachuchupika posted...

This. TC is over 40 right?

Yeah, I turned 40 back in September.

Isnt TC good looking? I think Ive seen his pic before

You can do it TC

I had sex recently. It was amazing.

I don't think I've ever directly talked to TC before, but I've seen his posts and he genuinely seems like a good guy (and apparently good-looking). What exactly is stopping you, TC? Just a supreme lack of confidence? If you've tried before, how exactly did it go? You don't need to answer if you don't want to.

--Zero- posted...

I had sex recently. It was amazing.

--Zero- to --Hero-

KogaSteelfang posted...

-___-

Wish I had that option.

You do. There are women out there looking for no strings attached fun. And even if you don't know how to get into touch with them or feel confident enough to...there is zero shame in using an escort.
You'll basically get the same experience in that it could be an awesome life-changing experience or the "Wait, that's it?" I got depending on how you well you mesh with the woman.

FolkenRawr posted...

My first time was very similar feeling. I've been with... A lot of women and honestly it's been a largely empty experience. Sex with someone you love really is drastically different.

TBH I've not even actually did the deed with someone I loved. Just having your bodies touch is radically different from when doing so with someone where you were like "I'm horny, need a release. You too?"
I'm kind of in the same boat as the TC, but a step further. I can have sex whenever I want, but I want it to be with someone I feel an actual connection with beyond "let's slap genitals"

Ivynn posted...

I don't think I've ever directly talked to TC before, but I've seen his posts and he genuinely seems like a good guy (and apparently good-looking). What exactly is stopping you, TC? Just a supreme lack of confidence? If you've tried before, how exactly did it go? You don't need to answer if you don't want to.

I have a lot of issues and hangups.
I have really had social anxiety, and depression. Super low self esteem and self loathing tendencies. I'm emotionally damaged from abuse and feeling unwanted is a major trigger which sends me into a downward spiral.

I have tried, and I got plenty of matches off of tinder, okcupid and bumble. But that's as far as it went. They either just never responded to a message, or did fir 1-2 then ghosted, or unmatched me. It really just wore me down more than anything and I gave up.

I need to be in a certain frame of mind to try again, but I haven't been there in a long time. I see everyone else succeed all around me and on here and it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

That's really all there is to it.

TheSavageDragon posted...

You do.

I haven't made it to 40 in this situation by having the option. It takes 2, and I'm just half of the equation. The half that ruins the whole thing, but I would've thought I could've found someone by now if it was possible.

TheSavageDragon posted...

the "Wait, that's it?"

That's literally what I expect would happen. Probably be super disappointing for us both.

TheSavageDragon posted...

I'm kind of in the same boat as the TC, but a step further. I can have sex whenever I want, but I want it to be with someone I feel an actual connection with beyond "let's slap genitals"

You should be able to understand then. I mean, can't toy pay an escort to pretend to care about you? That's solves your emotional connection as much as it solves my physical one.

Besides, who says I don't crave the emotional connection more anyway?

KanWan posted...

Have you ever gone to a strip club?

No.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Tbh it kinda comes off like you're injecting your own hangups into the idea. I've never paid for sex, but know plenty of people that have. It's not a big deal. The point isn't to have some super mega mental shift or boost. It's the opposite. It's to take away, or at least lessen, the giant 'thing' of virginity and having sex. It's just sex. It isn't that serious.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I haven't made it to 40 in this situation by having the option. It takes 2, and I'm just half of the equation. The half that ruins the whole thing, but I would've thought I could've found someone by now if it was possible.

I get that. I've been always of the mindset you only start an actual relationship once you feel both actually are able to improve each other's lives in some way. Every single time someone's been interested in me I feel like they would only bring me down due to various reasons. And every single time I've been interested I feel like I wouldn't be able to provide them with a better life.

KogaSteelfang posted...

You should be able to understand then. I mean, can't toy pay an escort to pretend to care about you? That's solves your emotional connection as much as it solves my physical one.

Depends tbh. I have zero experience with escorts myself, but I know from others that there are def those who take the emotional aspect into account and that's the ones they return to. It's no so much that they actually care about you, but they realize a tender touch or a sweet word is just as much important than the act itself. And that can make a world of difference.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Besides, who says I don't crave the emotional connection more anyway?

That's what we all crave. But you can get that without having sex, even with an asexual person. The physical connection just enhances the emotional one when having sex. I just assumed you were referring to the act itself and just "getting it over with" because it's deemed to be one of life's essential experiences by many

All the love, Koga

Also...

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Every time Koga posts, I want to find his dad and punch him in the face

This. That fucker messed you up.

Crimsoness posted...

They won't make you happier anyway and then they'll break your heart

you don't have to literally lie

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

^

pretzelcoatl posted...

you don't have to literally lie

I mean, it depends...

For most people a good relationship > single > bad relationship

There are unfortunately quite a few who only had the bad. My first marriage was not great and that was all I knew. Being single was better. My current marriage though has brought me a level of contentment I had never known.

people coming in here to talk about how much sex they have? miserable fucking attitudes. shame on you.

im sorry tc, you deserve better

bsp77 posted...

I mean, it depends...

For most people a good relationship > single > bad relationship

There are unfortunately quite a few who only had the bad. My first marriage was not great and that was all I knew. Being single was better. My current marriage though has brought me a level of contentment I had never known.

All I'm saying is there's no upside to saying that a relationship can't/won't make you happy. Lying about it does nothing for Koga except maybe (MAYBE) act as a temporary salve at best, or discourage them from seeking relationships out in the future at worst.

I'm rooting for Koga, and I think 40 is just way too young to just tap out and give up. Relationships can add a level of fulfillment to your life, and it's an important part of the human experience. He clearly feels anguish about his luck so far, but giving up means it's never going to get better.

Koga, be candid, kind and patient. Make efforts to go out of your comfort zone, pursue your interests with larger groups of people, and don't sweat it too hard. Relationships only develop when you're making connections with people, so getting out and doing things socially is the biggest step you can take. Don't give up, you got this!

pretzelcoatl posted...

All I'm saying is there's no upside to saying that a relationship can't/won't make you happy. Lying about it does nothing for Koga except maybe (MAYBE) act as a temporary salve at best, or discourage them from seeking relationships out in the future at worst.

I'm rooting for Koga, and I think 40 is way too young to just tap out and give up. Relationships can add a level of fulfillment to your life, and it's an important part of the human experience. He clearly feels anguish about his luck so far, but giving up means it's never going to get better.

Koga, be candid, kind and patient. Make efforts to go out of your comfort zone, and pursue your interests with larger groups of people, and don't sweat it too hard. Relationships only develop when you're making connections with people, so getting out and doing things socially is the biggest step you can take. Don't give up, you got this!

I agree with you

But there are people out there who think being in a relationship makes your life worse

TheSavageDragon posted...

I have zero experience with escorts myself

Must be nice to know you're wanted. That people look at you and see a partner. Someone who makes them comfortable enough to share a night with, and provide and receive intimacy.

My only option would be paying someone to fake that. I'd know it. I'd know that they didn't want to be with me. I'd know they're just faking for money. I'd know that I'd be the one putting them into a position where they have to pretend and be with someone they don't to be. For what? For money and my own gratification? I can't do that, man. I feel like that would be far more damaging to me than just staying a virgin.

TheSavageDragon posted...

That's what we all crave. But you can get that without having sex

Sure, sure... That's totally something I can do. Just like getting dates and having sex. Just like getting a billion dollars and inheriting a castle. It's all so easy.

bsp77 posted...

I agree with you

But there are people out there who think being in a relationship makes your life worse

Fair enough, but I wanted to push back on the blanket statement that relationships will make your life worse. because it's not helpful, nor is it always true (and more often not, in my experience).

pretzelcoatl posted...

Fair enough, but I wanted to push back on the blanket statement that relationships will make your life worse. because it's not helpful, nor is it always true (and more often not, in my experience).

Yeah, I usually argue the same thing as you

As a fellow sufferer of severe social anxiety, all I can say is good luck KogaSteelfang. I gave up two decades ago. I'm 42 and have never even tried.

You get wizard powers yet?

KogaSteelfang posted...

I have tried, and I got plenty of matches off of tinder, okcupid and bumble. But that's as far as it went. They either just never responded to a message, or did fir 1-2 then ghosted, or unmatched me. It really just wore me down more than anything and I gave up.

So looks arent your problem. Online dating sucks and I assume you dont have anyone to introduce you to women. So what you should do is join some sort of group in your area where you meet multiple times and have to interact with people.

But you have to act like you would on gamefaqs. I dont mean self-loathing, I mean you cant just be the guy who never says anything. Talk to people like you would talk about games and movies on gamefaqs. Of course theres no guarantee youd even find someone you want to date

Trumpo posted...

You get wizard powers yet?

You know that scene from The Lord of the Rings where Saruman spins Gandalf on the floor? I'm pretty good at being spun like him.