Current Events > I feel like I legit can't relate to people at work.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ive never had this issue before. I can be social. But I work at a brokerage firm and its a bit difficult.

One, Im the only person not white. Which is something Im not used to. And tbh, Im experiencing micro aggressions blatantly that I never had to deal with before. Nobody is even diverse white. Just like, Iowa white.

Everyone either is a golfer or talks about sports in general. Neither of which Im particularly interested in. One guy said he was an outdoors type and I got happy. But he really just meant hunting. And he keeps trying to show the deer and shit he kills which I dont care for.

Nobody seems to watch anime or the movies I like to watch. We play different games and conversations kinda fizzle.

The younger guys are like frat dudes. So beer and women is their only vocabulary.

Even clients arent really on my wavelength.

Its very bizarre how like. I just dont have friends at work. Like, I can totally see how people on CE get upset about politics irl. I guess Ive never been around people who actually put their political views on easy display but its uncomfortable tbh.

I really dont want this to affect performance, but Im getting to the point of not enjoying going to work. Which sucks. Kinda venting but also unsure what to do.

You can relate to people who dont like anime. You just have to see people for more than their hobbies.

boomgetchopped3 posted...

You can relate to people who dont like anime. You just have to see people for more than their hobbies.

Did you snip one clause out of everything and then post?

I dont wanna write a book but I can list every issue if youd like.

gotta put on that work smile homie. it's not great but it's how you survive in that kind of environment.
just be very passive and neutral about everything and always have an excuse or a way out in your back pocket.

You're not there to make friends, you're there for a paycheck, and you can always try making friends somewhere else if there's just no one you can relate to at work.

If you absolutely must have work friends, getting a new job entirely would be easier than trying to force it with a bunch of people you have nothing in common with.

Heartomaton posted...

You're not there to make friends, you're there for a paycheck, and you can always try making friends somewhere else if there's just no one you can relate to at work.

Do you think this would be problematic when it comes to promotions?

I feel like I got hired in, so at least management feels I fit the culture. Or maybe competence.

But I have been looking at different job locations tbh. Im in the affluent area of my state which is whats causing the
disconnect I think.

When I worked downtown at a bank, I didnt have this issue at all. I loved it tbh.

LinkDaLunatic posted...

gotta put on that work smile homie. it's not great but it's how you survive in that kind of environment.
just be very passive and neutral about everything and always have an excuse or a way out in your back pocket.

Yea, Ive been kinda going with this approach for now. I just text my friends or gf when some stupid shit is said and move on.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Do you think this would be problematic when it comes to promotions?

100%. That's another thing you'll need another job to have an easier time with. You can certainly stick it out if you want to roll the dice on whether that work environment will allow for promotions, but if management likes the other guys more, it's definitely going to influence their decisions.

I feel like I got hired in, so at least management feels I fit the culture. Or maybe competence.

Management isn't infallible, and they're going to make mistakes the same way as anyone else sometimes. You (probably) can't read minds, though, so short of just asking the bosses if you were hired on merit or potential, you'll just have to decide if it's worth the risk yourself.

Yeah, that sounds rough, though it's a good opportunity for getting to know people who are completely different.

Try to get them to talk about themselves more to find some common ground.

If they're older, do they have kids around your age? Do they have more generic interests like coffee, certain TV shows, etc? Might need to read up a bit on those kinds of things as well. You can also just talk about work if they're someone that is proud of their accomplishments.

Sansoldier posted...

Yeah, that sounds rough, though it's a good opportunity for getting to know people who are completely different.

Try to get them to talk about themselves more to find some common ground.

If they're older, do they have kids around your age? Do they have more generic interests like coffee, certain TV shows, etc? Might need to read up a bit on those kinds of things as well. You can also just talk about work if they're someone that is proud of their accomplishments.

Yea, Im not completely unable to converse. Like, I dont care about golf. But Ive managed to talk with the people who do by just being inquisitive about why they like watching/playing golf so much and just joking about my lack of knowledge.

Everyone who has kids are young kids, so I just draw comparisons to my nieces/nephews.

Overall, its not impossible, but its definitely not that enjoyable having to try so hard to find common ground. Granted, these guys seem to live finance when to me, I dont really come from that world.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


The job is in a predominantly white city and on more than one occasion I am referenced when trying to praise the branch for having diversity.

One of my coworkers just assumed I could read a foreign language. One that looked African.

One of the frat guys, unprompted, feels the need to always mention his neighbor is black and that they get along as if thats unusual or important to say.

Nothing particularly obstructive, but just things that are annoying.

Like, I thought people saying I speak American was a meme. But one of these dudes legit said Yea, if you can speak Spanish, German, and American, you are super versatile in the workforce!.

And Im just like no way.

As someone from Iowa, I had to chuckle at your opening post description but I have to say even though I'm white I'm pretty diverse white but again, knowing most of my state I'm not even going to dispute your description.