Current Events > Incels: 'I wish women would look past my height and appreciate my personality.'

(+) Yeah! (+)

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Being or coming across as desperate is not gender specific

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This is a broad oversimplification of what I typed & I don't appreciate over explaining everything just so you can rearrange it as if I'm justifying harassment. You can reply point by point & understand that I get what yorue saying, or you can trim it down so much that you're effectively only reading 30% of what I typed, this time it is a binary situation

hereforemnant posted...

This is what I'm talking about, I think Asherlee is too focused on her own perspective as a single woman in a male dominated society, & isn't thinking about the genuine games that other men & women play that both contribute to this issue. Replying but not saying "I'm not interested", or not replying at all instead of just saying that, has led into what's turned into mind games & cat & mouse.

Dating & relationships have become full on mini games of minesweeper because either people don't honestly communicate their disinterest so the other person knows & stops trying, or they do say something out of fear of something worse happening if they don't, & mens unstable condition on speaking to women makes them blow a gasket over nothing even if the rejection is polite. It's a severely multifaceted issue.
https://youtu.be/HaxSzEadMhk?si=nWB5wfmuHOE874ug

Like take this for instance, Moist man showed off an interaction between a dude & a girl who were gonna go out on a date, & the woman dodged a massive fucking bullet. I understand why women worry about being forthcoming & honest, most of my friends are women & I hear crazy shit all the time, but I'm just saying everyone needs to be the change they want to see & blah blah blah for things to improve. Cause dating as it stands today is inarguably fucked & I think we all agree with that

Halfway through that video and why I totally understand when women carry mace around. Holy shit.

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Maybe they just wanted to point out things that aren't gender specific.

Like being a helicopter pilot.

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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c9594162.jpg
Now we're just relitigating shit we already understand though. Asher said "No one is owed communication." If I message someone one time in your example but I say "Hey I think you're really attractive & I'd like us to go out in a date sometime, let me know if that sounds like something you'd be up for."
That's a very welcoming & easy message to answer, it's either a yes or no question.

If I then get no response , Asher's position is that I give up & any further attempts to reach out, regardless of circumstances, will be treated as harassment. Is that incorrect? Obviously your example is blatant too which is why if we're talking about strawmans, we don't talk about the 15 texts in a 5 minute timespan example because no one is dying on the hill that that's okay(to my knowledge).

I will add that if I'm on a dating app or communicating with a woman & my grand all encompassing strategy of making a date happen is "hey want to come to my place & make sex." Then yeah obviously some people are single for a reason lmao

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Then if the nitty gritty as you call it & talking about a complicated issue that isn't black & white is uninteresting to you I'll just save my finger strength & stop replying to you & focus on Gladius or others from now on.

hereforemnant posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c9594162.jpg
Now we're just relitigating shit we already understand though. Asher said "No one is owed communication." If I message someone one time in your example but I say "Hey I think you're really attractive & I'd like us to go out in a date sometime, let me know if that sounds like something you'd be up for."
That's a very welcoming & easy message to answer, it's either a yes or no question.

If I then get no response , Asher's position is that I give up & any further attempts to reach out, regardless of circumstances, will be treated as harassment. Is that incorrect? Obviously your example is blatant too which is why if we're talking about strawmans, we don't talk about the 15 texts in a 5 minute timespan example because no one is dying on the hill that that's okay(to my knowledge).

If you get no response at all, then move on.

Pointless_Topic posted...

You seem to agree with the idea that someone isn't "entitled to communication" but thats far from the truth. Especially taking into account

A. People with actual families who have kids, a mortgage on a house, etc. If a parent just randomly leaves with their child to another state, you are entitled to have a conversation, answers, etc.

B. A Parent who just randomly leaves and goes to another state. Thus abandoning their kids.

C. Business Transactions. If a product doesn't get delivered to me, and the business doesn't answe/goes ghost, I am entitled to an answer especially if I paid money for said product.

Hence why situations where these do happen can go to court.

I'd think it's pretty obvious none of those scenarios are what they were talking about...

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You seem to agree with the idea that someone isn't "entitled to communication" but thats far from the truth. Especially taking into account

A. People with actual families who have kids, a mortgage on a house, etc. If a parent just randomly leaves with their child to another state, you are entitled to have a conversation, answers, etc.

B. A Parent who just randomly leaves and goes to another state. Thus abandoning their kids.

C. Business Transactions. If a product doesn't get delivered to me, and the business doesn't answe/goes ghost, I am entitled to an answer especially if I paid money for said product.

Hence why situations where these do happen can go to court..

This discussion is about speaking to strangers. What does family or job obligations have to do with that?

Dark_Arbron posted...

I'd think it's pretty obvious none of those scenarios are what they were talking about...

There are tons of situations in life where you are entitled to an answer, or response. It's gaslighting to say that a father doesn't have the right to see his child because the other parent decided to cut him off from contact permamently

Umbreon posted...

This discussion is about speaking to strangers. What does family or job obligations have to do with that?

No it's not, the discussion is about relationships as well. As well as Ex's. If you're arguing that no one owes you any type of communication, then apply this same logic to all situations.

Furthermore, plenty of situations exist where people are ex's but have children. You actually still need to have some sort of communication with your ex. So the whole "i cut contact from em for good" doesn't apply when said situation can be taken to court

Pointless_Topic posted...

There are tons of situations in life where you are entitled to an answer, or response. It's gaslighting to say that a father doesn't have the right to see his child because the other parent decided to cut him off from contact permamently

Again, that type of situation is obviously not what they were talking about.

They're talking about situations where your ex is pestering you despite there being no pending business between you (a child, financial obligations, etc.) beyond them just having hang ups. At that point you do not owe them a response.

No one is saying anything close to the scenarios you provide. If a parent with custody is infringing on the other parent's rights? By all means, take it to court. That has nothing to do with the basic social etiquette being discussed here.

Pointless_Topic posted...

No it's not, the discussion is about relationships as well. As well as Ex's. If you're arguing that no one owes you any type of communication, then apply this same logic to all situations.

Furthermore, plenty of situations exist where people are ex's but have children. You actually still need to have some sort of communication with your ex. So the whole "i cut contact from em for good" doesn't apply when said situation can be taken to court

Being you must be exhausting.

There's a word for someone who intentionally ignores context and pretends to take things to their absolute literal degree.

"Sincere" isn't that word.

Dark_Arbron posted...

Again, that type of situation is obviously not what they were talking about.

They're talking about situations where your ex is pestering you despite there being no pending business between you (a child, financial obligations, etc.) beyond them just having hang ups. At that point you do not owe them a response.

No one is saying anything close to the scenarios you provide.

Yes, it literally is. Since the going logic is that you owe nothing to anyone. Which isn't true. Trying to backpedal with the "but they meant this instead" doesn't work.

In the real world, you dont get to always run away from your problems. If both people are living in a house paying a mortgage, and the other person decides to leave..that causes a shit ton of problems for the first party. And it essentially becomes a legal battle .

If a mother decides to leave her ex and childs life, that becomes an issue. If a father does the same thing, that becomes an issue.

There are situations in life where you actually need to be an adult and communicate.

Also I know I'm wasting my time given a previous post stating who Pointless_Topic is and their posting history.

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This is a more fair understanding of the situation in my opinion & I agree with this a lot more than I did Asher's perspective. Generally 2-3 attempts to communicate for me have been the sweet spot, a lot of times there are tech issues with dead zones or messages not going through & such like that, fair & kind messages just asking for clarification usually come off best. & If accounting for those possibilities, you still don't hear back after 1-3 attempts, yeah it's more safe to say there is no reciprocation.

I'm just advocating for both sexes to communicate better between one another so we don't get this goofy shit where you see tinder or Instagram messages like what I gave in that video, or the reddit chat, the psycho shit ruins communication more than anything else, but I still believe that lack of communication or ghosting doesn't help either.

MartavisBryant posted...

I've tried. I even thought I made a few friends at work over the past year and a half, only for them to never speak to me again after leaving.

I don't mean to sound like a doomer but work friends are just that, "work" friends. 99/100 work friends you make you stop being friends with after the fact.

Cemith posted...

I don't mean to sound like a doomer but work friends are just that, "work" friends. 99/100 work friends you make you stop being friends with after the fact.

Not even a bad thing really. Like high school friends. You drift apart.

The cruel irony is the social media dating was supposed to benefit those who otherwise aren't great at social interactions, but it may have made social interactions a lot worse.

Cemith posted...

I don't mean to sound like a doomer but work friends are just that, "work" friends. 99/100 work friends you make you stop being friends with after the fact.

To add to this, I went back to my old workplace a few weeks ago. I was remembered and greeted warmly. But I hadn't spoken to any of them since my departure. This was the first time we'd interacted in nearly 4 years. You can enjoy working and interacting with someone without feeling the need to socialize with them outside work. Same goes for social activities like clubs or the gym.

I honestly do fear the toxic nature of dating will lead to a new generation of Andrew Tate style culture war conservatives.

How do you guys talk about incels so much?

They're cringe because you often see really ugly guys get girlfriends, so what's their excuse?

Dark_Arbron posted...

To add to this, I went back to my old workplace a few weeks ago. I was remembered and greeted warmly. But I hadn't spoken to any of them since my departure. This was the first time we'd interacted in nearly 4 years. You can enjoy working and interacting with someone without feeling the need to socialize with them outside work. Same goes for social activities like clubs or the gym.

https://youtu.be/WGhcc3qFWh4

And yeah. Sometimes you're not interested in talking to someone for an extended period of time, but getting along with people at work is a lot easier than not getting along with people at work.

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You just want another conversation about pizza

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last time you tried, people got angry when i said that pineapple was superior

I might grab some Marco's today.

luigi33 posted...

I honestly do fear the toxic nature of dating will lead to a new generation of Andrew Tate style culture war conservatives.

True tea

luigi33 posted...

I honestly do fear the toxic nature of dating will lead to a new generation of Andrew Tate style culture war conservatives.

Yeah, this is my concern as well. Too many young men and teens are being taken in and influenced by those toxic beliefs, and if the problem isn't properly addressed, I fear what effect this will have if/when these men grow up and start getting into major positions of power.

DrizztLink posted...

Maybe they just wanted to point out things that aren't gender specific.

Like being a helicopter pilot.

I didn't realize helicopters had genders! o.0

Ruvan22 posted...

I didn't realize helicopters had genders! o.0

Incidentally, some in Star Trek treat their ship as a woman.

Ruvan22 posted...

I didn't realize helicopters had genders! o.0

Boats do