Current Events > Do you have any regrets from your 20s and 30s?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'll start the party:

• Ditching my conscientious/responsible friends for the party type because I thought my twenties should be spent on networking. What I falsely presumed to be networking was just a gathering of belligerent people sharing their contrarian views in order to seem edgy. Such a waste of time. Now my responsible friends are successful and I'm just another cautionary tale.
• I wish I lived more frugally instead of thinking I'll win the lottery and become rich that way. I was pretty delusional at the time. I blame the alcohol.

Let's all feel remorseful together. Maybe we can comfort each other at the end and tell ourselves helpful things to lift our spirits.

Staying in a relationship with a very emotionally abusive partner with BPD. It destroyed me.

Shoulda not dated those girls for so long

Testing certain boundaries in general. I think I backed away from crossing into things that could have boundaries in due time only if they stayed their course. Influencing future trajectories like relationships, jobs, acquisitions like pets or cars. I think there was a mistake in minding that too much as if I was going to cause Flashpoint or some shit. Sounds a bit messed up, but I should've taken some more things for myself.

This likely never cost me wealth or a relationship, but I could've wasted less thought space in giving a shit and been more constructive with being on the offensive more often.

no one cared about my discovery. i'll have to try again

That I wasn't taller and better looking.

Not getting into music earlier

There there everybody *pats back*

Let's all drown our sorrows through CE

Being more social than I was. Work, go home, do farm work till dark, eat, watch tv or play some games till midnight. Rinse repeat for 20 years

Had a few friends and a occasional date
Nothing serious on the date front. Still that way. It's harder now since I can barely stand for 10 mins without my back killing me. I'm all messed up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O1TbUHGN_k

Wish I was better with women in my early 20's
Wish I would have bought Bitcoin or invested big in Tesla or something, lol

Just my 20s and 30s.

Staying at a job that got worse, and not trying to better myself. living with my nuclear family that let me down.

And also when I have money thoughts. I was like holy crap. These are more 40 thoughts I am there somewhere. But I was like this horrible boss is gone I got 15.000 for doing nothing (I literally could have tried to trick the system, but I was a meager man I didn't even need the part time help which I could have got legitimate help for). It's still overwhelming and when it isn't my hours got cut.

i don't remember a huge chunk of my 20s.

ironman2009 posted...

i don't remember a huge chunk of my 20s.

Too much Mortal Kombat and Iron Maiden perhaps.

one time i donated to the EFF. i got better though

emblem-man posted...

Wish I was better with women in my early 20's
Wish I would have bought Bitcoin or invested big in Tesla or something, lol

Me too dude. I wish I wasn't so scared of rejection back then. I'm starting to finally realize all my problems of the past seem considerably marginal compared to the problems I'm dealing with now. If I had known life was going to only get worse, I would have made efforts to enjoy it more during my 20s.

Yeah. My regrets are that I let fear and I'll say urges control my life. I just turtled up and shut myself off from everyone.

Not gaining success earlier. I still might have my beat friend in my life if I hadn't. But as it is he did what he had to do and moved on. Now he's stuck where he's at cause he has a daughter and won't leave cause of her. I don't blame him for that. But both of us suffer for it.

I'm actually contemplating uprooting my entire life to move where he's at.

Sounds extreme I know. But we complete each other. Just got back from visiting him and he tells me he wished I was a girl cause I'd be his perfect girlfriend.

Destroyer53 posted...

Yeah. My regrets are that I let fear and I'll say urges control my life. I just turtled up and shut myself off from everyone.

It's weird I opened up over the years and those fears went away. I had things under control, just the way I liked them. Things fell apart and got out of control. Now that 2 friends who meant so much to me died way before their time. I feel I can't get close to anyone ever again. So those early fears have returned. I don't leave the house alot. I'm a bit confused on how to restart my business in a new place. I feel stuck. Know what I mean?

Should have broken up with my girlfriend (lived with her from 2011 until 2022).

Should have moved out of the UK earlier.

Should have started teaching earlier.

Should have focused more time on writing while at university.

Should have been less invested in sport.

Buying Transformers figures I didn't actually like for being a 'completionist'. That was a lot of wasted money.

20s - Letting myself live through them
30 - 32 - Realising too late this was the peak of my life and not ending it on a high note
33 - 35 (present day) - Still being alive through the post-peak downhill slide

Yeah, plenty.

Not gonns disclose it hete tho

Im too sexy for regrets

CRON posted...

Staying in a relationship with a very emotionally abusive partner with BPD. It destroyed me.

yep same. I havent dated in 9 years because of her damage.

Turtlebread posted...

Im too sexy for regrets

What? Being sexy leads to lots of regrets.

My wife is Bipolar and I know what you guys mean BUT I still love her so much
Shes part of the reason why Im still alive
almost passed cause of sepsis in 2014

I had a lot of opportunities to get rich that I didn't take. For reasons not entirely my fault, but still.

vycebrand2 posted...

It's weird I opened up over the years and those fears went away. I had things under control, just the way I liked them. Things fell apart and got out of control. Now that 2 friends who meant so much to me died way before their time. I feel I can't get close to anyone ever again. So those early fears have returned. I don't leave the house alot. I'm a bit confused on how to restart my business in a new place. I feel stuck. Know what I mean?

Yeah. Things can spiral out of control real easy with the fears, and it can get kind of demoralizing at times. For me the realization that I am back in the same spot I was in the past if not worse can just take a toll mentally.

I have read all your posts and I have to say....*opens cabinet of my finest scotch* drink up everyone.

Also, thinking about this post prompted me to be quite daring today. I randomly asked the girl at the checkout counter how her day was. She smiled at me and told me great. I consider this as a small victory for me. Yayy.

That I didn't switch majors in college sooner. Because I didn't switch majors to something more satisfying a year or two earlier instead of beating my head against something I just wouldn't get, I ended up getting my full graduation and shit right when 2020 started.

Spending 18 months at a job that I really really hated.

I wish I DIDN'T listen to my parents so much. I was obedient even when I knew they didn't know what they were talking about. I missed out on some great opportunities because of fear mongering from those who didn't know any better.

Follow your dreams, kids. Especially if you don't already have kids of your own.

Do I have things I couldve done differently? Absolutely.

But had I deviated from my path in any way whatsoever, I very likely dont meet my wife and I absolutely dont have my daughter. I would be essentially trading them in for a mulligan.

I should have stayed in college longer.

'Nother here for team "Staying in an abusive relationship for too long".

Didn't go for one girl that was interested in me. Stayed with another that cheated on me & treated me like crap. Went through a lot of drama losing 1 friend group & having another fracture.

My 20s sucked in a lot of ways.

That I didn't have a 20s, or even early 30s really.

It was... A bad time for my entire family and I kinda got left holding the ball.

There were so many girls i could have slept with. Was shy though.

GameFAQs has a character limit.

My regrets all seem to stem from what I didnt do, as opposed to things I did do.

Oddly no
I spent my 20s and 30s working a ton/going to school and somehow found time for videogames, friends and girls. I financially set myself up to not have to overly stress about money and I met my now wife during this time. It feels like a dream looking back

Staying in a toxic work environment, staying with a crappy boyfriend, and picking up a drinking habit.

I dont really have regrets in my personal life. I got lucky and married the love of my life at 21. I have a strong friend group both from college and that I have been running around with since 4th grade. I have great kids. Everything I wanted from my personal life in my 20-30s I got. I am very fortunate.

My professional life is another matter. I spent most of my mid twenties being miserable and stressed as a public defender before changing course. I would be a lot happier if I had corrected that sooner.

shoulda majored in computer science or computer engineering instead of electrical engineering. electrical engineering just ended up being practice for computer science jobs that are easier and pay better.