Current Events > Bisexual people are actively discriminated against in the queer community...

(+) Yeah! (+)

yeah there are some really stupid people out there.

I know this is the internet, but must everything be a fight?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/7/3/AAdlC_AAEzcJ.jpg

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Okay, thank you. I get the trolling from them now, so that whole exchange is less bothersome. Thanks for not throwing a fit about what I said 10+ years ago either, especially since I'm mature enough now to realize that it was a shitty thing to say to her back then.

Walk in peace and kindness, shock.

FortuneCookie posted...

I know this is the internet, but must everything be a fight?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/7/3/AAdlC_AAEzcJ.jpg

Okay, this made me laugh. Thanks for breaking the tension.

The "discrimination" that bisexual people may feel and receive from within the queer community is nothing at all like the external discrimination that LBGTQ people receive in general from conservatives and religious groups.

Not even close... there is no "both sides" here.

Bisexual people may feel un-included and some "gate-keeping" from other members of the queer community, and that can feel hurtful and is unfortunate. However, nobody in the queer community is advocating for the loss of human rights, legal status, being fired from jobs and loss of livelihood, vigilante violence, state violence, or genocide against bisexual people the way conservative and religious groups are advocating against LGBTQ people right now in speeches, sermons, in laws and proposed legislation.

So do not let the bigots pull a fast one here.

Torgo posted...

The "discrimination" that bisexual people may feel and receive from within the queer community is nothing at all like the external discrimination that LBGTQ people receive in general from conservatives and religious groups.

Not even close... there is no "both sides" here.

Bisexual people may feel un-included and some "gate-keeping" from other members of the queer community, and that can feel hurtful and is unfortunate. However, nobody in the queer community is advocating for the loss of human rights, legal status, being fired from jobs and loss of livelihood, vigilante violence, state violence, or genocide against bisexual people the way conservative and religious groups are advocating against LGBTQ people right now in speeches, sermons, in laws and proposed legislation.

So do not let the bigots pull a fast one here.

Never did I ever say or think this. Of course it's different from people who actively want you to be a second class citizen or worse.

It just hurts in a visceral way when it comes from your own people. You expect that kind of bigotry from the cishets, but from your own people? It's like a knife in the back.

Torgo posted...

The "discrimination" that bisexual people may feel and receive from within the queer community is nothing at all like the external discrimination that LBGTQ people receive in general from conservatives and religious groups.

Not even close... there is no "both sides" here.

Bisexual people may feel un-included and some "gate-keeping" from other members of the queer community, and that can feel hurtful and is unfortunate. However, nobody in the queer community is advocating for the loss of human rights, legal status, being fired from jobs and loss of livelihood, vigilante violence, state violence, or genocide against bisexual people the way conservative and religious groups are advocating against LGBTQ people right now in speeches, sermons, in laws and proposed legislation.

So do not let the bigots pull a fast one here.

comparing it to the worst of the worst out there and then just belittling the experiences of bi people as "gatekeeping that feels hurtful" is kind of weird. bigotry is bigotry, you don't have to break out a tier list of the amount of suffering people feel to come to that conclusion. especially considering said bi people are often experiencing the stuff in your bolded paragraph in addition to biphobia and erasure

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you showed up shitposting with an obvious alt itt. of course no one is going to take you seriously fyi

Torgo posted...

The "discrimination" that bisexual people may feel and receive from within the queer community is nothing at all like the external discrimination that LBGTQ people receive in general from conservatives and religious groups.

Not even close... there is no "both sides" here.

Of course, there's a shared struggle that the broader queer community have banded together to weather together.

There's still intra-community conflict, and that shit hurts. That's kind of the gist of that post I made earlier about infighters being "feds" - it sows division within the community and fractures us. But even saying that, trans people are perfectly justified feeling insulted by other people being transphobic, as are bi people justified being upset at biphobia and ace people about acephobia, etc. etc. The broader struggle doesn't mean "cheer up emo kid, we got a war to win", it exists parallel with that intra-community conflict and it's worth commenting on and getting past.

Root out the feds and form stronger bonds, but that doesn't mean downplaying and dismissing the different forms of queerphobia present within the broader community.

yes, as a bi person i feel like most monosex ppl are likely going to microaggress as hard as they possibly can

bi people, or their partners, are honestly 100% of my friends as an adult.

Robot2600 posted...

yes, as a bi person i feel like most monosex ppl are likely going to microaggress as hard as they possibly can

bi people, or their partners, are honestly 100% of my friends as an adult.

How in the world did you manage that? I almost feel like I should be jealous. Most of the people in my life are cishet. Allies to be sure, but still cishet.

I'm bi-romantic. I get flack from family members for "not understanding the situation".

Simply put, while I prefer female bodies, it's not hard to show platonic love to anyone I am fond of.

They don't get that, being cisgendered people of so-called faith.

A lot of people get insecure hearing their romantic partner has a type they dont fit.

Torgo posted...

nobody in the queer community is advocating for the loss of human rights, legal status, being fired from jobs and loss of livelihood, vigilante violence, state violence, or genocide against bisexual people the way conservative and religious groups are

oh you sweet summer child

This topic sure took a turn. Divides like this are what keeps people distracted while the ruling elite continues to screw everyone over.

Xenogears15 posted...

How in the world did you manage that? I almost feel like I should be jealous. Most of the people in my life are cishet. Allies to be sure, but still cishet.

you gotta stop hanging around this website for a start

flussence posted...

you gotta stop hanging around this website for a start

Also depends on where he lives. Red States, for example, he'd have an incredibly hard time finding lgbtq out in the open. Even supposed liberal havens like California are difficult outside of obvious counties. That said, some places, like Colorado, have a lot of lgbtq people out in the open.

Im a gay man and Id date/marry a bi man. I know Im just one person, so it probably doesnt mean very much, but if someone out there wants to love me who am I to stop them? The thing to remember is that anyone, at any time, can find someone better and leave you. Or just leave you for any reason at all, altogether.

Im sorry that anyone and everyone within our community has a hard time, at all.

Xenogears15 posted...

How in the world did you manage that? I almost feel like I should be jealous. Most of the people in my life are cishet. Allies to be sure, but still cishet.

i get along great with bi people and with people who also get along with queer bi/ppl

i have work friends who i have no idea if they are straight or queer or nb, but i dont hang out with work people, out of principle.

it's more like I used to have straight friends but when i came out to everyone 6 years ago i suddenly had no more straight friends within 6 months.

my sibling-in-law just came out to me and my partner (their sibling) as genderqueer, them and their wife were my only "straight" friends. honestly im super pumped that im not the only one in the family xD it really does make me feel normal

nocturnal_traveler posted...

Also depends on where he lives. Red States, for example, he'd have an incredibly hard time finding lgbtq out in the open. Even supposed liberal havens like California are difficult outside of obvious counties. That said, some places, like Colorado, have a lot of lgbtq people out in the open.

I literally live in Chicago. Maybe it's from when I just stopped hanging out in Boystown, but the only queer people I know are one of my sisters and my step-mother.

I guess my wife's childhood gay friend, too? But he gives me bad vibes, so I avoid him if at all possible.

Robot2600 posted...

i get along great with bi people and with people who also get along with queer bi/ppl

i have work friends who i have no idea if they are straight or queer or nb, but i dont hang out with work people, out of principle.

it's more like I used to have straight friends but when i came out to everyone 6 years ago i suddenly had no more straight friends within 6 months.

my sibling-in-law just came out to me and my partner (their sibling) as genderqueer, them and their wife were my only "straight" friends. honestly im super pumped that im not the only one in the family xD it really does make me feel normal

Nice, man! Happy for you. Nothing feels better than being validated. Be sure to help guide that baby gay on their journey.

Xenogears15 posted...

Later on, I thought that trans women--probably the most vulnerable of our sisters in the community--would be more understanding. That they would understand what I was going through with other queers and sympathize. NOPE! "Bi men are gross" or "Sorry, I don't date bi men" or something along those lines. The one that really made me laugh in her face was when I got told, "I want a STRAIGHT man".

I hate this so much, I didn't know people were like this as most of my transfem friends are sappic (I'm also a transfem gynesexual).

bump

What's a gynesexual?

Lukey_Bug posted...

What's a gynesexual?

Someone who's attracted to females

Lukey_Bug posted...

What's a gynesexual?

Attraction to people who present as fem, regardless of their assigned sex or gender.

So that would include people like ciswomen, transwomen, crossdressers, femboys, etc., etc..

It's part of life. Anything "different" is discriminated against in some capacity. Being openly gay only very recently became widely acceptable in the mainstream, which means they can join in on the "They're different! Point at them!" Mindset.

Not to say this is a blanket judgement, but it's just it's a thing that happens because humans don't like change.

Oh so straight than? I was dating a transwoman a few years ago and I asked her what that meant for me and she just said if you're dating a girl you're straight. Why do we need these complicated ass terms to describe something no one should have any problem with?

Lukey_Bug posted...

Oh so straight than?

Dating femboys (and other effeminate men) makes you not straight, as they are men. Effeminate men, but still men. Ergo, it is still under the bi umbrella and gets its own label.

Why do we need these complicated ass terms to describe something no one should have any problem with?

People will label themselves how they want, because that's kind of how our brains work. We like to categorize things. If it doesn't affect you, then don't worry too much about it.

Xenogears15 posted...

Dating femboys (and other effeminate men) makes you not straight, as they are men. Effeminate men, but still men. Ergo, it is still under the bi umbrella and gets its own label.

Ok I'm not hp to all the current terminology but I wish we didn't have to use any of it in the first place. People are people, let them live how they want,ya know?

Lukey_Bug posted...

Ok I'm not hp to all the current terminology but I wish we didn't have to use any of it in the first place. People are people, let them live how they want,ya know?

See the second part of my post (albeit, probably edited after you started making yours). To some people, labels are an important part of their identity. To others, they are not.

To me, my label is important. To you they are not. Both are 100% valid and important. The last sentence of your post is my general thoughts on life in general, and I wish that more both within and without (but especially without) the community felt that way.

Xenogears15 posted...

People will label themselves how they want, because that's kind of how our brains work. We like to categorize things. If it doesn't affect you, then don't worry too much about it.

Yeah but I kinda have to because some people who identify as something get offended when you mislabel them. And sometimes its hard to tell. I work in restaurant management and Ive had my fair share of people get mad at me for using wrong terminology

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You've never worked in food service. I can tell from this post. You're literally seeing hundreds of people a day that just based on looks have to decide how to talk to them. Sometimes you get it wrong. But whatever, like I've said I honestly do not care about what your sexuality is. You do you.

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You literally just said I'm trying to erase people's identities. You're one to fucking talk.

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Have you read my posts in this topic? I try to use what people prefer cause if that's what they wanna use sure, no problem. I just hate that we have to actually use them in the first place. Idgaf how you identify because no matter what you're just another human being to me.

If you're working in customer service, it's best to avoid gender pronouns for the best results. "How are you doing?". "Excuse me? You in the blue shirt." Nowadays you even have to do it with race unless it's an emergency situation.

Xenogears15 posted...

...and it pisses me off to no end. And by bisexual I mean all those who fall under rhe bi umbrella. In my case it would be gynesexual, but it's easier to tell people I'm bi for clarity and ease of understanding.

I started noticing this when I was a young queer. Most gay men just wouldn't fuck with me because they felt we were "sluts who would cheat on me" or "secretly gay" or "actually gay but not realized it yet" or other such nonsense. Those that would give me a chance would quickly give me bigoted bullshit reasons for why they wanted nothing to do with me and that was that. I want to clarify that this wasn't ALL gay men, but it was most of them. I also heard similar horror stories from bi women in regards to lesbians that made me realize this was not an isolated thing. I used to go to Boystown very often and was active in the community, but after that treatment I just stopped going and swore off gay men for the most part. I just couldn't deal with the bigotry from people who were supposed to be my comrades-in-arms. I'm sure many of them would be fuming or rolling their eyes if they found out I married a (bi) woman.

Later on, I thought that trans women--probably the most vulnerable of our sisters in the community--would be more understanding. That they would understand what I was going through with other queers and sympathize. NOPE! "Bi men are gross" or "Sorry, I don't date bi men" or something along those lines. The one that really made me laugh in her face was when I got told, "I want a STRAIGHT man". Bitch, most men who identify as straight wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole. Many others would accuse you of "trapping" them and get violent for your making them question their sexuality, too. And yet you have the gall to say bullshit like that?

I could go on and on with examples, but most of what I've seen from my fellow queers really does make me think that there's really no place for us in the community. We really are too straight for the gays, and too gay for the straights. And it's maddening.

Any other bi people here who can sympathize?

Yes.

I had a boy friend that didnt want me having friends cause I was bi. I was potentially cheating on him with anyone I hung around. I pretty much told him good luck finding someone else. We lived in a very redneck community and this was before dating sites/apps where big.

Also got told being bi was just being gay with training wheels.

It also sucks that I pass for straight easily and gay guys just assume I'm straight or a woman knows I fucked a dude and just assumes I'm gay. Walking up to someone and just announcing your sexuality just seems weird to me so it's made the dating scene more complicated

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/1/4/AAAhq_AAE0G-.jpg

When I was in the dating scene, I was too gay for many straight girls, too straight for some gay guys.

It was interesting the number of girls who thought it meant Id get this irresistible craving for doodle even if was in a relationship at the time. Its like, no, it doesnt work like that.

Sufferedphoneix posted...

Yes.

I had a boy friend that didnt want me having friends cause I was bi. I was potentially cheating on him with anyone I hung around. I pretty much told him good luck finding someone else. We lived in a very redneck community and this was before dating sites/apps where big.

Also got told being bi was just being gay with training wheels.

It also sucks that I pass for straight easily and gay guys just assume I'm straight or a woman knows I fucked a dude and just assumes I'm gay. Walking up to someone and just announcing your sexuality just seems weird to me so it's made the dating scene more complicated

Those are at the nicer end of what I've experienced, from others in the LGBTQ+ community.

I honestly have no idea if I pass for straight or not. I think I pass most of the time, but I don't hide my queerness and I'm sure some people pick up on it. I don't want to "pass" either; I'd rather people saw me as who i am: someone who is neither gay nor straight.

that's not even getting into gender identity/gender presentation

Other bi problems include hypersexualization: basically mentioning your are bi is inherent perceived as more "sexual" than gay/straight. People have a lot of questions, which is fine...but they are like TOO curious. LIke jfc it's a standard thing, go read the wikipedia article on bisexuality.

not the most coherent post but ive been waiting all day to play FFVII and so i gotta go

And im someone who generally enjoys being objectified/sexualized. But not at work or something :/

Robot2600 posted...

Those are at the nicer end of what I've experienced, from others in the LGBTQ+ community.

I honestly have no idea if I pass for straight or not. I think I pass most of the time, but I don't hide my queerness and I'm sure some people pick up on it. I don't want to "pass" either; I'd rather people saw me as who i am: someone who is neither gay nor straight.

that's not even getting into gender identity/gender presentation

Other bi problems include hypersexualization: basically mentioning your are bi is inherent perceived as more "sexual" than gay/straight. People have a lot of questions, which is fine...but they are like TOO curious. LIke jfc it's a standard thing, go read the wikipedia article on bisexuality.

not the most coherent post but ive been waiting all day to play FFVII and so i gotta go

And im someone who generally enjoys being objectified/sexualized. But not at work or something :/

Yeah I'm not very sexual at all. I can take it or leave it. Not gonna work for it