Current Events > BREAKING NEWS: Building evacuated due to spider causing permanent erections

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Jx1010
08/11/23 7:03:16 AM
#1:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/6/8/AAWgGRAAEvjo.jpg

You guys be careful


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MabusIncarnate
08/11/23 7:06:24 AM
#2:


Where?? I wanna go.

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A_Good_Boy
08/11/23 7:07:59 AM
#3:


Even in women?

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Karovorak
08/11/23 7:09:50 AM
#4:


MabusIncarnate posted...
Where?? I wanna go.

Krems, Austria.

The spider is missing, and now they just clean and desinfect everything.

Out of all news and events we have here, THIS makes it up to CE. lol.

EDIT:

Oh, and it's the Sun, so of course it's full of Fake News.

The spider is currently unidentified. It's suspected to be a banana spider, and they can cause ongoing painful erection and in the worst case, impotence.

At least that is what wikipedia told me.
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MabusIncarnate
08/11/23 7:14:44 AM
#5:


They are gonna have to find it right? Can't have customers walking around with massive boners at the supermarket.

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Karovorak
08/11/23 7:16:32 AM
#6:


MabusIncarnate posted...
They are gonna have to find it right? Can't have customers walking around with massive boners at the supermarket.

Nope, they gave up the search.

They are going to clean everything for sure (mostly to be sure that neither the spider nor their eggs are hidden in some food), and will open up next week again.
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majin_nemesis
08/11/23 7:17:53 AM
#7:


define permanent

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Ivynn
08/11/23 7:18:48 AM
#8:


Karovorak posted...
Nope, they gave up the search.

They are going to clean everything for sure (mostly to be sure that neither the spider nor their eggs are hidden in some food), and will open up next week again.

probabaly safest to just burn the place down

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Jx1010
08/11/23 7:19:28 AM
#9:


Karovorak posted...
Krems, Austria.

The spider is missing, and now they just clean and desinfect everything.

Out of all news and events we have here, THIS makes it up to CE. lol.

EDIT:

Oh, and it's the Sun, so of course it's full of Fake News.

The spider is currently unidentified. It's suspected to be a banana spider, and they can cause ongoing painful erection and in the worst case, impotence.

At least that is what wikipedia told me.
Not just the sun

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/7/4/AAWgGRAAEvju.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/7/5/AAWgGRAAEvjv.jpg

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Karovorak
08/11/23 7:21:27 AM
#10:


Jx1010 posted...
Not just the sun


That's what I'm talking about.

"Bizarre, long, painful" ( legit according to Wikipedia).

"permanent" (what the Sun wrote)
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boomgetchopped3
08/11/23 7:24:33 AM
#11:


Spider must have had some playful milkers
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Jx1010
08/11/23 7:37:46 AM
#12:


I didnt know spiders could do this

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xXfireglzXx
08/11/23 7:46:34 AM
#13:


Spiderman versus Doctor Cocktopus.

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Prismsblade
08/11/23 7:48:00 AM
#14:


Karovorak posted...
Out of all news and events we have here, THIS makes it up to CE. lol.
Eh? Generally News concerning its wild life is the only thing most people ever hear about Australia.

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Dat_Cracka_Jax
08/11/23 7:51:47 AM
#15:


Karovorak posted...
banana spider
Of course they cause long erections

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http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/5517/cateyes.gif Rams: 7-9
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littlebro07
08/11/23 7:51:49 AM
#16:


Pfizer about to embark on a quest to make these extinct

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refmon
08/11/23 7:54:05 AM
#17:


MabusIncarnate posted...
I wanna go.


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Back_Stabbath
08/11/23 7:55:43 AM
#18:


good fuckin' luck boner spider
i dont think ive been full mast in like 10 years. thanks medication.

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NO2_Fiend
08/11/23 8:01:40 AM
#19:


Back_Stabbath posted...
good fuckin' luck boner spider
i dont think ive been full mast in like 10 years. thanks medication.
That's rough. My parents had me on antideppresants for all of high school and they made me softer than fleese. My horniest of years unable to fuck, thanks parents!

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littlebro07
08/11/23 8:04:51 AM
#20:


huh. Maybe I should stop taking lexapro.

It's done great for my anxiety but it's harder to get hard. I can still get fully hard, just takes longer. I figured it was because I'm in my 30s now but I started taking the lexapro when I was 29 so it all makes sense >_>

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Rei_B
08/11/23 8:08:16 AM
#21:


That situation sounds awful.

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ECW_Originals12
08/11/23 8:10:04 AM
#22:


littlebro07 posted...
huh. Maybe I should stop taking lexapro.

It's done great for my anxiety but it's harder to get hard. I can still get fully hard, just takes longer. I figured it was because I'm in my 30s now but I started taking the lexapro when I was 29 so it all makes sense >_>

Same experience with Lexapro, it ain't you, it's the pills indeed
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voldothegr8
08/11/23 8:10:21 AM
#23:


https://youtu.be/EOAphM41HJM

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St0rmFury
08/11/23 8:23:18 AM
#24:


Jx1010 posted...
I didnt know spiders could do this
Wait till you read about a species of tick that can trigger an allergic reaction from eating red meat.

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WrkHrdPlayHrdr
08/11/23 8:24:35 AM
#25:


St0rmFury posted...
Wait till you read about a species of tick that can trigger an allergic reaction from eating red meat.

I have these in my area.

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Ricemills
08/11/23 8:33:50 AM
#26:


I'm guessing the substance that gives erection also kills. Painfully.

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Cheetaluv
08/11/23 8:36:45 AM
#27:


Karovorak posted...
Out of all news and events we have here, THIS makes it up to CE. lol.


Beats all these generic mid topics on politics.

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Karovorak
08/11/23 8:44:56 AM
#28:


Cheetaluv posted...
Beats all these generic mid topics on politics.

Still funny to read about some random bs about a store getting closed in my local newspaper first, and 2 days later I suddenly see it on CE and realise how it made international news.
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littlebro07
08/11/23 8:49:32 AM
#29:


ECW_Originals12 posted...
Same experience with Lexapro, it ain't you, it's the pills indeed

son of a bitch

brb looking up natural ways to cure anxiety

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itcheyness
08/11/23 8:56:13 AM
#30:


Ricemills posted...
I'm guessing the substance that gives erection also kills. Painfully.
Nah, you'll survive it.

The damage done to your member if it's untreated can render it permanently soft though.

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Bat178
08/11/23 9:03:54 AM
#31:


Isn't that the same spider that The Fear uses venom from on his crossbow bolts in Metal Gear Solid 3?

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Thermador446
08/11/23 9:28:55 AM
#32:


majin_nemesis posted...
define permanent

Probably an hour with a Wandering Spider

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AnsestralRecall
08/11/23 9:34:37 AM
#33:


littlebro07 posted...
son of a bitch

brb looking up natural ways to cure anxiety

There isn't a cure, just tools to mitigate

There are other antianxiety meds that don't have those kind of side effects if that's a area of concern for you

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Funkydog
08/11/23 9:47:10 AM
#34:


Please warn people if posting a s*n link in future.

Just basic human decency.

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ANort175
08/11/23 9:48:17 AM
#35:


Funkydog posted...
Please warn people if posting a s*n link in future.

Just basic human decency.
Look who the TC is, he's trying to position himself as the new duckbear.

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[deleted]
08/11/23 10:03:20 AM
#47:


[deleted]
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Jx1010
08/11/23 10:04:50 AM
#36:


Cheetaluv posted...
Beats all these generic mid topics on politics.
Politic topics are the WORST.
I like making fun lf all politicians
If I make fun of biden, they call me a right winger.
If I make fun of trump, they call me a leftist.
What happened to people joking about politics? Today people worship politicians

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Jx1010
08/11/23 10:06:04 AM
#37:


ANort175 posted...
Look who the TC is, he's trying to position himself as the new duckbear.
I dont know who that guy is, I heard the name yesterday in one of my topics. But I love sharing sensational news.

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Jx1010
08/11/23 10:06:49 AM
#38:


itcheyness posted...
Nah, you'll survive it.

The damage done to your member if it's untreated can render it permanently soft though.
Uh thats bad

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Irony
08/11/23 10:09:14 AM
#39:


majin_nemesis posted...
define permanent
About 4 hours

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mustachedmystic
08/11/23 10:14:54 AM
#40:


NO2_Fiend posted...
My horniest of years unable to fuck,
I have a sneaking suspicion dat dis describes da high school experience of most people here.

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Zikten
08/11/23 11:21:18 AM
#41:


I hope the people rushing out to find this spider so it can bite them, heard the part about it reverting to permanent softness later on
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kingdrake2
08/11/23 11:30:23 AM
#42:


Back_Stabbath posted...
i dont think ive been full mast in like 10 years. thanks medication.


covid saw to that and it's been 2 for me :(.

we're all suffering.

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FortuneCookie
08/11/23 11:49:53 AM
#43:


In other news, Sydney Sweeny was cast as Spider-Woman:

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/8/8/AAdlC_AAETBY.jpg
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Jx1010
08/11/23 12:19:32 PM
#44:


FortuneCookie posted...
In other news, Sydney Sweeny was cast as Spider-Woman:

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/8/8/AAdlC_AAETBY.jpg
How real is this Im gonna to search now

UPDATE:
Oh its true wow

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DeadBankerDream
08/11/23 12:20:32 PM
#45:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/4/5/AAeS0LAAD83h.jpg

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#46
Post #46 was unavailable or deleted.
BTH_Phoenix
08/11/23 12:48:06 PM
#48:


"Penis Parker" is REAL

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Serious_Cat
08/11/23 1:19:45 PM
#49:


Jx1010 posted...
Not just the sun
The Sun and The New York Post are run by the same parent company and tend to share a lot of the same dubious content.

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BewmHedshot
08/11/23 1:26:06 PM
#50:


The problem with long-lasting erections is that during an erection, the blood that forms the erection doesn't circulate out of the penis, and eventually it starts to coagulate, which is really really bad.
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