Poll of the Day > Would you pay your friend in this circumstance?

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Friend is setting up a trip to go to amusement park and concert on same day. Friend asks if you want to go, and I say "Sure. I only care about the amusement park, but I'll do both. (because it's a 2 hour drive)". He says he'll order the concert tickets now, and we'll buy park tickets at the gate. He ordered the concert tickets. Turns out the park isn't even open that day. I'm not going 2 hours to a concert that I don't care about. Do I owe him money for buying the concert tickets, or do I make him eat it because of his poor planning that cut out the only reason I wanted to go in the first place.

If you were clear that you weren't interested in the concert, I don't think you should have to pay him back. I'd be nice about it, though, because he did buy it for you.

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If you said that you were going to do both, then you should pay for the ticket he bought for you.

funkyfritter posted...

If you said that you were going to do both, then you should pay for the ticket he bought for you.

How would you feel if you ordered something online. Say you bought an $80 item, and shipping was $15. You also saw that the seller had something small, maybe a little $3 item that you figured you'd just buy and since you were already buying from them. Then the seller messages you and says "sorry, the $80 item is out of stock. But I went ahead and shipped you the $3 item." Would you be happy about that $18 charge?

Yeah, I'd still pay my friend in that case.

Pay back the friend. And go to the concert. It is your friend and presumably u like spending time together. It might be fun. I know u had your heart set on the amusement park, but sometimes life throws us curve balls and plans have to change.

Yes, surely the concert isn't that terrible.

You did say "I'll do both", you're kind of obligated to go.

sillymistake but you did agree to go to both what if you enjoyed the water park but decided to bail on the concert for any reason do you think you still should not have to pay him back

I'd pay him, and still drive out to watch the concert. Like Hungrymike pointed out, it seems like you enjoy spending time with that friend.

Yeah, because you said you'd go. Even if you don't go, you should pay him.

TomNook posted...

I say "Sure. I only care about the amusement park, but I'll do both. (because it's a 2 hour drive)". He says he'll order the concert tickets now, and we'll buy park tickets at the gate. He ordered the concert tickets. Turns out the park isn't even open that day. I'm not going 2 hours to a concert that I don't care about.

If you said you only cared about the park, and he had any way to know the park wasn't open and just didn't bother to look into it (or didn't care, or worse, deliberately lied about it to trick you), then I'd say make him eat the cost and find someone else to go with. It was his mistake and his responsibility, not yours.

On the other hand, if he had no real way to know the park wasn't open (and had no realistic reason to check), and only realized after the fact, then I'd say just encourage him to either find someone else who wants to go and have them pay, or try to get a refund. Both should be possible if there's enough time before the concert. But if he can't and you think it isn't his fault, then you should probably pay and chalk it up to the universe being shitty.

Ultimately, I'd say it rides on how responsible you think your friend is, and how much you value your friendship. I have really good friends who I would trust to have made a good faith effort, where I'd probably pay for the ticket and then tell them to just go with someone else. I also have irresponsible friends who are kind of manipulative who would absolutely lie about the park being open just to get what they wanted (me going to a concert I didn't want to go to), and I wouldn't even remotely consider paying those people for the ticket (and if they pushed or decided to be long-term passive aggressive bitter about it, I'd tell them to fuck off).

The real thing you should probably be considering is that it's less about whether you have a moral obligation to pay him back, and more a question of how pissed he's going to be if you don't and whether it will damage your friendship (and if you even care). And only you can judge that.



qwerty107 posted...

You did say "I'll do both", you're kind of obligated to go.

He's really not.

Conditionals are a thing. If you say "I'll do A if B", and then B doesn't happen, you aren't really obligated to do A.

I know there's always been a strong tendency on PotD for a lot of people to play the doormat, but it's not a healthy way to go through life.

TomNook posted...

Do I owe him money for buying the concert tickets, or do I make him eat it because of his poor planning that cut out the only reason I wanted to go in the first place.

It seems you did agree to him buying the tickets so personally I'd pay him the money back or even just go to the concert.

Definitely try to get someone to fill your spot before disbursing payment.

SilentSeph posted...

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bro did you seriously just talk during KK Slider's set?