Current Events > I'm dating a single mom.

(+) Yeah! (+)

She's one year younger than me and she's got 2 kids. She's really pretty and the easiest to talk to of the girls I've dated.

Normally I swipe left on mom's, especially if they have more than 1 kid, however she was so gorgeous. And I met her and it was really nice. She also seems like a really good mom.

Any of y'all date single mom's before?

Nope. Instant red flag and almost always going to be a left swipe.

Xatrion posted...

Nope. Instant red flag and almost always going to be a left swipe.

How is having kids a red flag?

Congrats!

Yes, I have a few times. But after having a 2 year relationship with one, I wouldn't again. But the problem is that I have 4 kids, and since she had 2, it was overload. Do we get our schedules in place so we don't have the kids at the same time, and never have time to ourselves? Or do we set the schedules so we have a goddamn Brady Bunch half the time?

So after the breakup, I hypocritically said never again. My fiance has no kids and no desire to have her own, but she adores my kids.

I haven't, but I see no reason not to.

I don't subscribe to all that pathetic 'raising another man's child' manosphere shitbaggery.

If you get on, and can make it work, good luck to you.

I haven't, but I'd have nothing against it.

And wtf to having kids being a red flag???

Patty_Fleur posted...

How is having kids a red flag?

CE logic. At most of our ages now, you won't find many who aren't single moms anyway.

Is she still a single mom if you're dating her?

chaos_knight posted...

CE logic. At most of our ages now, you won't find many who aren't single moms anyway.

That's not true though.

I don't think people should be against single moms, but plenty of single women without kids as well.

Patty_Fleur posted...

How is having kids a red flag?

You tell us, you said you usually swipe left on moms and the only reason you didn't on this one was because she was too hot lol

Riev posted...

You tell us, you said you usually swipe left on moms and the only reason you didn't on this one was because she was too hot lol

Lol, touch

Did it once before, never again.

Unknown5uspect posted...

Is she still a single mom if you're dating her?

It's not like it's official or anything. We are just seeing each other and texting. She's been separated for 5 years and during that time, only one guy has ever met her kids. I can only go by what she tells me.

Riev posted...

You tell us, you said you usually swipe left on moms and the only reason you didn't on this one was because she was too hot lol

The phrase 'red flag' implies that it indicates a negative quality in her.

Someone who wasn't interested in kids could still swipe left without bring judge-y about single mothers.

bsp77 posted...

That's not true though.

I don't think people should be against single moms, but plenty of single women without kids as well.

Most of us on this website are either in their 30s or 40s. Saying plenty is an exaggeration. This is more for those who disparage single moms though, who are in that same age bracket.

Id be open to it. However with a few caveats. Preferably shed just have one kid (two at the absolute most) and be open to having more with me. If shes not then its a dealbreaker. If Im dealing with kids anyway might as well have at least one thats my own.

also no baby daddy drama. Its fine if hes involved and completely over her/in a new relationship. But if hes not and will be jealous/hostile and is a trashy dude, then Im not really wanting to put up with that. Ideally hed be completely out of the picture though.

Riev posted...

You tell us, you said you usually swipe left on moms and the only reason you didn't on this one was because she was too hot lol

True

I'm changing my mindset though. I'm in my 30s. If there is someone I click with, I want to be with them. The last girl I was talking to didn't have kids, but she still had a lot of baggage. I don't think there's any avoiding baggage with women around my age.

Did a couple times. Its definitely a way to date up in terms of looks upstairs. Usually they come with baggage though and unless they had a C-section their lady parts are a floppy mess.

Also awkward to be at their place when kids are around.. exit through the gift shop.

Guess she isn't single anymore.

Having kids isn't a red flag as it doesn't actually represent anything about someone's behavior or personality, but for a lot of people can be an entirely legitimate deal-breaker. Someone with kids is going to have a set of priorities that are entirely understandable but can very likely not align with what someone is looking for in a romantic partner. That's okay. It doesn't reflect poorly on either individual.

chaos_knight posted...

Most of us on this website are either in their 30s or 40s. Saying plenty is an exaggeration. This is more for those who disparage single moms though, who are in that same age bracket.

Yeah, I did all my online dating when 40 and 41, and dated plenty of women aged 28 to 40 without kids. It is not an exaggeration at all.

But I am not anti single mom anyway

On the flipside, is there an age where no kids is a red flag

could be a spectrum of crazy cat lazy to cutthroat business lady for that as well

I'll be honest. My concern is she really seems to like me, which is good. But I don't know if it's because she's more desperate. Not that I'm a bad choice of a guy but you know what I'm saying? I think a lot guys don't want to deal with the kids.

chaos_knight posted...

CE logic. At most of our ages now, you won't find many who aren't single moms anyway.

You wrote all that when a simple "gamefaqs virgin logic" would suffice

Patty_Fleur posted...

I'll be honest. My concern is she really seems to like me, which is good. But I don't know if it's because she's more desperate. Not that I'm a bad choice of a guy but you know what I'm saying? I think a lot guys don't want to deal with the kids.

If she's cool and you like her just roll with it.

UndefeatedGOAT posted...

On the flipside, is there an age where no kids is a red flag

could be a spectrum of crazy cat lazy to cutthroat business lady for that as well

Orrrrrrr she just didn't want kids?

VFalcone posted...

Orrrrrrr she just didn't want kids?

reddit got shutdown brother, you arent getting upvotes off or you could just anymore

Patty_Fleur posted...

It's not like it's official or anything. We are just seeing each other and texting. She's been separated for 5 years and during that time, only one guy has ever met her kids. I can only go by what she tells me.

I got ya. I was just making a crack lol

Yes. But I also have a son, so I have no problem dating women with kids. The single moms I went on dates with were cool. No different than the women without kids, really.

My girlfriend doesn't want kids or her own, but she has been great with my son. She's always thinking of him when we plan things, which I find really sweet. She'll be a great step mom.

Patty_Fleur posted...

How is having kids a red flag?

It's not a red flag. That's just a toxic mindset that comes from guys online.

Patty_Fleur posted...

I'll be honest. My concern is she really seems to like me, which is good. But I don't know if it's because she's more desperate. Not that I'm a bad choice of a guy but you know what I'm saying? I think a lot guys don't want to deal with the kids.

I can guarantee you that it's because she just really likes you. Being a single parent isn't some death sentence in dating. Despite the stupid "single moms are a red flag" guys you see online, single parents can still date just fine.

If anything, she's probably more picky, not less. Single parents don't want their kids to see a revolving door of terrible partners. With the single moms I dated, I never made it far enough to meet their kids. And with my girlfriend, I didn't introduce her to my son until I knew I wanted to be with her long term.

Xatrion posted...

Nope. Instant red flag and almost always going to be a left swipe.

You are limiting yourself and potentially missing out on a lot of good people.

Carljank posted...

You are limiting yourself and potentially missing out on a lot of good people.

mathematically this is true, the more kids the more good people on average

She's not single if you're dating her.

ai123 posted...

I don't subscribe to all that pathetic 'raising another man's child' manosphere shitbaggery.

This for real. Kids these days have such shit tier internet role models, if I could theoretically make the difference in a child's life while falling in love with someone at the same time, I'm totally cool with that.

It's like my gf having brothers. If I marry her, they'll be my family too and I'll be just as invested in their future as well.

Patty_Fleur posted...

How is having kids a red flag?

Not everyone likes or wants kids, especially when they arent even their own kids. If that is a plus for you, more power to you.

Honestly, the best woman I ever dated is a single mom. I fucked it up because I straight up wasn't ready for something real.

CoyoteTheGreat posted...

Not everyone likes or wants kids, especially when they arent even their own kids. If that is a plus for you, more power to you.

I think the issue is saying "red flag" vs not my cup of tea

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Appreciate it. I am not usually responding just for TC's sake.

UndefeatedGOAT posted...

mathematically this is true, the more kids the more good people on average

You misread his comment in the weirdest way possible

Likely kidding, I know

bsp77 posted...

I think the issue is saying "red flag" vs not my cup of tea

Yeah, that wording is really bad. I wouldnt consider them a mark against the woman, just something I personally dont find fun.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Most of CE can't get a date in the first place

CoyoteTheGreat posted...

Yeah, that wording is really bad. I wouldnt consider them a mark against the woman, just something I personally dont find fun.

And no issue there. One thing to think about though, is that some guys like to maintain some independence and don't want a girlfriend they view as "too clingy". Single moms are going to be splitting their priorities a lot more, allowing you more downtime and friend time. Or you can just find someone who has better boundaries in the first place, whether they have children or not. I found someone like that and that is partly why I am lucky and why I am getting married again.

FolkenRawr posted...

You misread his comment in the weirdest way possible

Likely kidding, I know

lmao, im just using math to help out!

I don't like kids in general, so... no. No, I've never done that.

I have not, I would be open to it if I were single.

I haven't, but I'm not opposed to it at all. Let's face it, it's going to be more common the older I get anyway.

I wish you the best TC. Hope there's more to her then looks though because beauty fades.