Poll of the Day > Talking to people is hard C/D?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ive always struggled with this. Especially when it comes to text conversations where you cant read social cues.

And I started taking Vyvanse for weight loss and ADD. And I think it might make more anxious? Possibly exacerbated by the combo with Lamictal.

This is kind of BlogFAQs, but I want to hear from PotDers.

Yes.

I suspect I might actually be autistic, but I've never been tested/diagnosed.

Yeah, always been hard for me, at least socially. For some reason I'm fine in a business setting, maybe because there is a more defined set of rules for those sorts of situations.

ADHD medication absolutely increases anxiety

Confirm, and I'm a train conductor and constantly have to talk to people :(

papercup posted...

Yes.

I suspect I might actually be autistic, but I've never been tested/diagnosed.

Ive thought this too, but was told I wasnt by therapists.

Maybe we are just socially inept. It feels like everyone has something I dont though

rjsilverthorn posted...

Yeah, always been hard for me, at least socially. For some reason I'm fine in a business setting, maybe because there is a more defined set of rules for those sorts of situations.

Similar for me. I like rules. Rules make things better.

DirtBasedSoap posted...

ADHD medication absolutely increases anxiety

It feels variable. Sometimes Im super calm, but sometimes I feel awful. Have you taken pills?

SilentSeph posted...

Confirm, and I'm a train conductor and constantly have to talk to people :(

Does talking to people more often make any of it easier?

Yes and no, with some people it's easy and with others it's more difficult, overall I'll say deny because I usually have a solid conversation with most people, it's just those people that just give 1-2 word replies with anything then it feels like pulling teeth

I have really come a long way since my teenage years

Does talking to people more often make any of it easier?

Yes, that's how I went from a shy teen that couldn't even make eye contact to being a fairly successful server/bartender

depends on the person. if someone really is hard to talk to then they're probably not worth talking to.

well, i'm non-verbal mostly so IRL I ... don't talk to people

Its easy and hard at the same time

DrPrimemaster posted...

Does talking to people more often make any of it easier?

It does at work, I'm comfortable talking to passengers and coworkers. But I still get shy whenever my friends bring me to a bar or a club

C. In most cases I find people mid and they probably find me the same. It's very rare I find someone where the conversation just flows and it feels good as I'm interested.

Yeah Im actually trying to get treated for ADHD again lol

Confirm.

Yes. I'm almost always awkward in public. I find it frightening to make and maintain eye contact. My heart starts pumping whenever I am forced to engage in conversation. I can only stare and stare, hoping that the agony of the silence brought on by my ostensible lack of social skills will end. I rarely know what to talk about. I am never able to offer anything more than an answer to a query that figuratively roped me into a given conversation, and answers to any subsequent queries. I tend to stumble on my words overoften. I end up babbling and making a complete fool of myself. I tend to avoid eye contact when passing others; they likewise shun me. I am afraid to engage again with those whom I either shun or exchange awkward conversation with, for the reason that I fear that they despise me already. I often don't know what to talk about in any case. From what I've shamelessly eavesdropped on, my co-workers seem to be engaged in a realm of interests with only a little common ground with mine. It is hard to take interest in that which I claim to take interest in nowadays anyway, so any conversation had regarding what I claim are my current interests will inevitably result in a conversation bare of life and of genuine apathy for the subject matter being discussed. I never feel alright shunning people. I am always left with guilt whenever I feel that I have either shunned someone, or failed to satisfy the amount of conversation that they were naively expecting from me. But the need to make eye-contact, and the need to contribute to any hypothetical conversation I may have is too daunting for me to even want to make contact. I claim always that I am miserable in my solitude, emotional and otherwise. It's just too hard. All the world is just whitenoise to me nowadays, and unfortunately, the people around do not amount to much more. I feel very bad regarding them in such a way. I admit that I tend to avoid eye-contact also because it helps me see them less as beings with emotions that can be hurt by either my neglect or actions. I also avoid eye-contact because I am afraid of those whom I have shied away from. The need to make social contact is a great drain on my energy levels; I imagine that my co-workers feel exactly the same way about my reluctance to make social contact. They may think that I am not fond of them; I am not proud of how that would make them feel, if they would feel anything because of me. I'm just a figurative bundle of tightly-knotted nerves during the week. Only during the weekend can I truly relax. But being alone offers its own misery also, as I've said before.

EclairReturns posted...

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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/3/7/AAOV7sAAEifN.jpg

Hard? No. A good idea? Not usually.

Talking to a person is hard. Talking to an idiot is even harder!

Sometimes? Not really as long as you have a topic to focus on.

I can if I dont think about it, but Im usually happier just sitting in a corner and pretending Im invisible.

Deny.

i think talking to people is easier when im crossdressing

Get a job where you're forced to talk to people all day and you'll turn into an "extrovert".

This is honestly the best advice in this topic. All it takes is practice, like anything else.

Also, I know some autistic people who are more extroverted than anyone. They just suck at reading social cues and everyone around them knows it.

Yellow posted...

Get a job where you're forced to talk to people all day and you'll turn into an "extrovert".

This is honestly the best advice in this topic. All it takes is practice, like anything else.

My last job was at a call centre. As you can imagine confidence is the key to selling to a customer. That role helped me build that a bit but I still need to work on it. I'd be happy to apply for another sales type role.

Yellow posted...

Get a job where you're forced to talk to people all day and you'll turn into an "extrovert".

This is honestly the best advice in this topic. All it takes is practice, like anything else.

Also, I know some autistic people who are more extroverted than anyone. They just suck at reading social cues and everyone around them knows it.

I'm not extroverted by any means but yeah, serving/bartending definitely helped with my social skills

Not really. Some people are just really uninteresting but for the most part I can have a conversation with anyone. I work in a call center though so I get a lot of practice talking to strangers

Yep. That's why I'm on good old GF again lol

Yea. I wasn't really taught to socialize nor did I have much opportunity to practice because I was homeschooled and my parents didn't do much to socialize me. I got a bit better at it after working retail and attending college but I'm still pretty awkward around non-family.

Talking? No. Talking efficiently? More often than not, yes.

No. Just learn to always talk down and that anxiety will melt away onto other people instead.

I find that it depends on people and situations.

Talking to people exposes you to the danger of them finding out what you're like.

I get along with strangers well.

The longer I know someone the harder it is to talk to them.

Nope, talking to people is easy, but how often are you talking to the person? Whenever there's another person to witness the communication, or a risk of it being spread somehow, the person's given social positioning poisons talking to *them*. Talking to people is easy, talking through their persona is hard.

People are generally super easy to talk to if they don't think it effects anything else, but if they're at work or with friends, there's going to be a bit of fuckery to negotiate that will be needlessly difficult if you aren't clued in to what that is.

People are easy to talk to, but then the question is "Do you want to talk to them?" because if your motives aren't genuine, you're faking shit, and if they see you're forcing things, they won't feel comfortable. If you're talking to people because you *should*, don't. If you have a reason to talk to them then words will come naturally since you actually have a base to reference, you know what you want to know, and they will tell you how to ask them.

Being forward is good, asking questions is good, people like to feel like you're interested in them, and if you're actually motivated to speak to them, you are inherently interested in them in some way. And if you find they're not answering questions or not engaging with you, it's fine to just walk away, they're not interested, and you shouldn't be interested in conversation people don't want to have.

Oh and finally, sometimes people just fucking suck, some people are being assholes for undisclosed reason unrelated to you. If you've been authentic and they're being unpleasant, that's them being weird, they're failing a social cue and its best to move on.

yes and no. mostly it's hard to talk to extroverts that act like introverts aren't allowed to exist.