Current Events > Unwritten Rules Followed By Black People

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://imgur.com/gallery/3wuvICz

I'm not direct linking the images because the comments are worth a read

inb4peoplesayyeawellidothattoo

I was alluding to #5 a few days ago. Theres a surprising number of towns in the South where its just understood you are not wanted after dark. I got stuck on a backroad one night and a guy told me hed go and get a few of his buddies from the trailer park to come help me out I was like, gee thanks until it dawned on me what he really meant and all I could hear was the theme to Mississippi Burning in my head

I don't know if I'd call these universal or anything. I've never heard of most of this stuff. Only the sundown towns.

Related to #8 when shit was getting a little too spicy in 2019 and 2020 with cops and BLM, I started driving with my CAC and government ID on a lanyard around my neck, which is a security violation since you're only supposed to have that out when you're on site. That way if I got pulled over for any reason, a cop would hopefully not be too trigger happy. Even told my boss I was doing this and he gave me the green light and told me to be careful at night.

I still wear it sometimes depending on where I'm going. Most recently was driving to Charlottesville to give a presentation at UVA

Edit: Oh #16 is exactly that lol

NoxObscuras posted...

I don't know if I'd call these universal or anything. I've never heard of most of this stuff. Only the sundown towns.

Depends on where you live. Sundown towns are a uniquely Southern thing mainly. However, that elevator thing is 100% facts for big cities up north especially before widespread CCTV was a big thing. It used to be a better bet to get beat up in a stairwell than to get in an elevator with a chick you didnt know alone.

#20 was the real one for me. My mom was adamant about us not having toy guns outside. Nerf guns, water guns, squirt guns.

My mom always told us that "cops will come up and shoot you no questions asked" I didnt really understand it as a kid but i sure as fuck get it now.

Those all ring close to home though.

Many of those are true. I was taught #8 during a church service when I was a teenager.

I don't think I've every put my hood up wearing a hoodie lol. Too afraid to be judged

Regarding #8, I actually got the opposite advice from a retired cop: you wait until they ask for your license / registration before moving your hand to the glove box. If they see you reaching for anything before that, it'll make them nervous.

Of course I'm white, so it might very well be a different set of rules (and the cop in question hasn't been on the force for over 30 years).

#1and #8 are definitely true.

I've never met a black woman that followed any of that, and I grew up in Atlanta.

Why do black people have to deal with people thinking they're as thievious as Khajiit?

...

Don't answer that question, it was rhetorical.

Number 6 is uh something.

CreekCo posted...

Depends on where you live. Sundown towns are a uniquely Southern thing mainly. However, that elevator thing is 100% facts for big cities up north especially before widespread CCTV was a big thing. It used to be a better bet to get beat up in a stairwell than to get in an elevator with a chick you didnt know alone.

Yeah my dad grew up in Mississippi and he told me about avoiding stopping in certain towns if I drive through the South. But I've never given a second thought to things like who I get in an elevator with or how close I'm standing behind someone in line.

Like, don't get me wrong, everything in that list makes sense from the sense of being careful not to get caught up in some racist BS. I've just never heard those tips in my circles.

Squall28 posted...

I've never met a black woman that followed any of that, and I grew up in Atlanta.

Grew up south of Atlanta, met black men and women that followed almost all of them...

NoxObscuras posted...

Yeah my dad grew up in Mississippi and he told me about avoiding stopping in certain towns if I drive through the South. But I've never given a second thought to things like who I get in an elevator with or how close I'm standing behind someone in line.

Like, don't get me wrong, everything in that list makes sense from the sense of being careful not to get caught up in some racist BS. I've just never heard those tips in my circles.

They are very real. The town my mom grew up in was between two sundown towns in Louisiana. She left her hometown as soon as she could it was so bad for them

Im glad some of you are aware of them now, at least. I hope you never experience them. I almost got ******* banned talking about them :(

masterpug53 posted...

Regarding #8, I actually got the opposite advice from a retired cop: you wait until they ask for your license / registration before moving your hand to the glove box. If they see you reaching for anything before that, it'll make them nervous.

Of course I'm white, so it might very well be a different set of rules (and the cop in question hasn't been on the force for over 30 years).

Yeah, #8 is bad advice. If that's the concern, keep your paperwork somewhere visible like on the seat while you're driving so you don't have to reach into anything period. Reaching into a glove box while the cop is approaching is only going to end poorly.

I don't really follow any of these tbh. Hate it if you feel like you have to, but honestly I'm not going to do any of this.

HylianFox posted...

https://imgur.com/gallery/3wuvICz

I'm not direct linking the images because the comments are worth a read

Eh, 1 2 and 4 seems like a pretty normal thing (at least in the US) no matter what race one belongs to.

Ok, clicked on the picture and I guess it takes you to rest of the list.
Honestly, there are many on that list that just seems applicable to all people.
And then there are ones that unfortunately apply (not sure if that's the right word.... probably not) to black people.

Sort of wish they didn't include the "rules" that applies to the general population because they take attention away from the race specific ones.

How am I reading unwritten rules?

Yea that looks about right, I live with additional rules also especially after I moved.

in some form or another, i follow or have at some point followed rules 2, 3, 7, 9, 17, 20 (parents' rules), and oh my god #21 is an epidemic among doctors

CreekCo posted...

Sundown towns are a uniquely Southern thing mainly.

sundown towns were as much a northern phenomenon (in the midwest, at least) as it was a southern one. i really wouldn't be surprised if they still exist in pockets of the deep south though.

masterpug53 posted...

yeah, i usually just freeze with my hands on the steering wheel. if i need to get something out of my glove compartment i'll wait until they request documentation and specifically mention my intent to do so in advance.

what's the unwritten rule for them always leaving their car door open while music is playing at max volume

#15 BIG FACTS. In drugstores, clothing retailers and even my local market, anytime I look up from browsing a shelf, someone just happens to be stocking that aisle, who wasn't there before.

One time that really pissed me off was in a Duane Reade while I was looking for cold medicine. A plainclothed POC was covertly following me in the store but since he wasn't wearing a smock or name tag, I dismissed my suspicions. It wasn't until I got on line to purchase my item that I saw him walk behind the counter and into their monitoring room.

As for my local market, without fail, every time I go there (and I try my best to avoid giving them my money, but convenience is a helluva drug), I am under surveillance until I get to the register. And you have to bring your own bag, so they always want to "help" me bag my items, but they actually just want to see if I've stuffed anything in the bag prior to approaching the register. You can see the disdain in their faces when I refuse to allow them to bag my items, smh

AllCopsAreGood posted...

what's the unwritten rule for them always leaving their car door open while music is playing at max volume

Are you saying that's a rule that should be listed? I'm not sure why you ask "What's the unwritten rule" ... and then describe the rule

AllCopsAreGood posted...

what's the unwritten rule for them always leaving their car door open while music is playing at max volume

What's the unwritten rule for blaming black people for something multiple races do?

Ruvan22 posted...

Are you saying that's a rule that should be listed? I'm not sure why you ask "What's the unwritten rule" ... and then describe the rule

He's just being racist. I mean look at the user name

I dealt with number 21 my entire life, except for sickle cell. Going to the ER for sickle cell related pain control is NOT a fun time, especially if you are fairly young. You WILL get stereotyped for drug seeking at some point or another in your life (thus you are possibly going to be sitting in the waiting room for a good 8 hours), and its a condition most white people would have no experience with so they have no idea just how bad a terrible pain crisis is. The most recent I got basically kicked while I was down in crippling pain was this past january....I was back there at around 3:30 AM. I told my family I was probably going to be fine thus I was there alone. Some young ER nurse practitioner white dude all tat'd up comes in, asks me whats wrong. Me "I am having a pretty bad sickle cell crisis right now. I am at about a 8/10 and I couldn't break it on my own at home". Him "Hmmm k, what usually helps your pain?". Me: "I am usually always fine with some IV fluids and dilaudid. After about 3 hours of fluids I am usually fine and can handle the rest at home"

*My medical records shows that I have been getting this same thing for all of my 39 then 40 years now of being alive. I only go to the ER once or twice every other year mind you, so coming in for IV fluids and IV pain medicine isn't a regular thing for me*.

Him:......"you are too young (I was 39 in January) to be having this sort of pain, and I don't believe in using strong IV pain medicine at all".

Me "............you do know what sickle cell is, right?" Him "I have never actually dealt with one before so no. I still do not believe in using IV pain medicine no matter what".

BRUH. Too in pain to argue back, and regardless arguing with a ER doctor is NOT a good idea in general....you really won't be getting any help then. This is why its usually a good idea to bring a family member or friend with you for these kinds of situations, but this one time I figured it would be fine because to be honest...it usually is. I never got treated badly at this particular hospital until this one absolute jack-ass. I had no choice but to take this dude's crap.

Going to a sickle cell specialist clinic with their own infusion center and a crew of primary care doctors, pain management and everything else is the best decision of my life and something I probably should have done years ago.

CreekCo posted...

Depends on where you live. Sundown towns are a uniquely Southern thing mainly. However, that elevator thing is 100% facts for big cities up north especially before widespread CCTV was a big thing. It used to be a better bet to get beat up in a stairwell than to get in an elevator with a chick you didnt know alone.

Missouri still had a few sundown towns.

Oh yeah, number 21 is absolutely true. A family friend died during childbirth earlier this year. And looking at numbers from the Department of Public Health, Black women in California die during childbirth 3x more often than other races.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/6/8/AAQgjdAAEga4.jpg

Mad-Dogg posted...

...

I can sympathize a bit. My dad's dealt with chronic pain for decades, and it's always been a downhill struggle; especially now that the opioid crisis is in full swing, which gives doctors that much more of an excuse to play God (in addition to the ones who are genuinely sympathetic but still need to cover their asses). Can't imagine how much worse it is when you add racial prejudice into the mix.

1, 7, 8 and 15.

Not a 1 for 1 with #7 but....
My current job is in Trump territory. First month working on the navy base I was confused for the moving crew (I was moving into my desk, but was definitely dressed up professionally.) Another time I was confused for janitorial service, this lady informing she has trash at her desk that needs picked up in another part of the building (I was tossing out box for a setup at my desk.) Both times I never bothered to complete what they asked, and I never told them Im not what they assumed I was because I had nothing nice to say. Another time I was confused for a secretary. I must of had a dirty look on my face because another woman jumped up in a rush to assist. The fuck you going to walk past a bunch of desks to go in the back of the room and ask if the person in the back is the secretary?

Requiem posted...

Eh, 1 2 and 4 seems like a pretty normal thing (at least in the US) no matter what race one belongs to.

1, 2, 10, 14, 17, and 19 are - or should be - generally applicable regardless of race. #2 is especially relevant if you're shopping where you work. If one is available, always use the rewards/loyalty program even on trivial purchases because it creates an extra trail of digital proof of purchase.

13 should be followed more than it is - again, regardless of race.

Man, some of these look like stuff that wouldn't even happen in Asia for black people.

White criminal justice grad who worked several years in corrections and retail loss prevention here. Very sad people have to do this.

1) The best man in my wedding once told me a story about how when he went grocery shopping, he got into a rhythm where he passed the same white woman in the aisle going opposite directions for several aisles - we've all done that. When he'd get to about 10 feet away, even if she was looking away, she'd put her hands out and hold onto her purse. Every single time. He'd observe other white people walking by her (including at least one guy) and she didn't do it. He saw her in the parking lot, made eye contact, and she sped up her pace quite a bit.

2) I don't agree with #8. Even as a white man, I won't go into the glove box until I've explained to the cop I have no weapons in the vehicle and my documents are in there, then politely ask permission to retrieve them or offer him/her the opportunity to do it if they prefer. But I take it a step further, I put my window down and my hands out the window as they approach, then make it a point to tell the officer I do it out of respect because I know the danger they face pulling people over, while appreciating their service. I've been pulled over quite a few times but haven't gotten a ticket in over 20 years since I started doing this. Just swallow a little pride, stroke their ego and it'll work for anyone!

3) All the ones about shopping - why not let them falsely accuse you of shoplifting? If you're wise with your money, all it would take is a few false accusations and lawsuits and you'd be set for life. Just google it, many settlements from $50k-over 7 figures. Wear that baggy hoodie, keep those hands in your pocket, pick up expensive merchandise and walk to the odd areas of the store and set it down there.

[Not so] Fun fact - One of my trainers in retail loss prevention was black. He always said the white kids coming in wearing hoodies were fine. But the every single time a black kid came in wearing one, he watched him like a hawk. Never mind the white girls ravaging the makeup aisles, we gotta watch the black boy looking at video games locked up behind glass. Never made sense to me.

But thanks for sharing TC - heightened my awareness to many of these I wasn't aware of. Great share, this was influential to me.

Have_A_Cigar posted...

White criminal justice grad who worked several years in corrections and retail loss prevention here. Very sad people have to do this.

1) The best man in my wedding once told me a story about how when he went grocery shopping, he got into a rhythm where he passed the same white woman in the aisle going opposite directions for several aisles - we've all done that. When he'd get to about 10 feet away, even if she was looking away, she'd put her hands out and hold onto her purse. Every single time. He'd observe other white people walking by her (including at least one guy) and she didn't do it. He saw her in the parking lot, made eye contact, and she sped up her pace quite a bit.

2) I don't agree with #8. Even as a white man, I won't go into the glove box until I've explained to the cop I have no weapons in the vehicle and my documents are in there, then politely ask permission to retrieve them or offer him/her the opportunity to do it if they prefer. But I take it a step further, I put my window down and my hands out the window as they approach, then make it a point to tell the officer I do it out of respect because I know the danger they face pulling people over, while appreciating their service. I've been pulled over quite a few times but haven't gotten a ticket in over 20 years since I started doing this. Just swallow a little pride, stroke their ego and it'll work for anyone!

I'm not trying to be glib, but it certainly doesn't work for anyone - Philando Castile for example. One of the ongoing frustrations among the black community is that even WHEN they "stroke the ego".. things go south.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Philando_Castile

3) All the ones about shopping - why not let them falsely accuse you of shoplifting? If you're wise with your money, all it would take is a few false accusations and lawsuits and you'd be set for life. Just google it, many settlements from $50k-over 7 figures. Wear that baggy hoodie, keep those hands in your pocket, pick up expensive merchandise and walk to the odd areas of the store and set it down there.

Are you seriously suggesting a black person try this? or even that everybody has time to find lawyers, attend multiple court dates, the legal standing to have legal indictments on their name for weeks/months?

This is sadly accurate. Even sadder is that the list is even longer.

lilORANG posted...

Yeah, #8 is bad advice. If that's the concern, keep your paperwork somewhere visible like on the seat while you're driving so you don't have to reach into anything period. Reaching into a glove box while the cop is approaching is only going to end poorly.

In Australia every time Ive been pulled over its taken at least a minute before the cops even got out of their vehicle. Thats plenty of time to get my wallet out.

In the US are they out of their car and tapping on your window in seconds?

NoxObscuras posted...

I don't know if I'd call these universal or anything. I've never heard of most of this stuff. Only the sundown towns.

Had a step father that swears he grew up in a sundown town that was in the north. Always said northerners where just as much racist as the south if not more so. I'm convinced cause he was racist himself

The funny thing is, most black folks don't know or believe that this happens to other minorities in America too.

KINDERFELD posted...

The funny thing is, most black folks don't know or believe that this happens to other minorities in America too.

what makes you say that?

CreekCo posted...

I was alluding to #5 a few days ago. Theres a surprising number of towns in the South where its just understood you are not wanted after dark. I got stuck on a backroad one night and a guy told me hed go and get a few of his buddies from the trailer park to come help me out I was like, gee thanks until it dawned on me what he really meant and all I could hear was the theme to Mississippi Burning in my head

god damn

boxoto posted...

what makes you say that?

Because I've been told that I don't get it because I'm not African American black.
Also most of my black friends believe I'm shielded from these things because I have light skin.
In addition, lots of contect in black culture talk about "passing" which in essence is, our experience isn't the same.