Current Events > I'm looking to leave my job.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's my fault, but after my grandma died last week, I've been spiraling, and in public accounting, you can't spiral at this time of the year. Her dying wasn't just it, but the timing was right before my most important job of busy season (was my senior-role job to show that I can be a senior), and I missed out on getting to fly to the client with my team for that week and then I got sick at home and missed this week (still working, but not on-site, which is a big missed-opportunity). I haven't been as communicative, and my anxiety has gone through the roof as all the pressure is getting to me. My grandma dying was sad, but I think the fact that I saw her die in my own living room (she was here under hospice as mentioned in another thread) affected me more than I wish it did.

It's made me realize, I either need to get a fresh start at another firm, or leave for industry. I'm going to try to ride this busy season out, but I'm already messaging recruiters. Deciding if I'd ride out the 3/31 job I'm scheduled on as well, but to be honest, I kinda just want to leave this job behind. I may even consider transitioning to finance/a job that doesn't have a busy season. Busy seasons require you to be working over 100%, but this has shown that I can't even be 100% at times, so maybe this is the sign to leave public accounting. I need a job where, if I need to be less than 100%, it won't ruin me.

All the work I did this and last year, just to have two lousy weeks ruin it; I'm so mad at myself. My depression magically disappeared mid-2021, but the crippling thoughts from the depression era are starting to seep back in, and I'm trying to make sure I don't let it happen this time. I'm desperately trying to not have the mindset that I'm a failure, and that I somehow grab the jaws of total defeat from victory. It leads to some really dark thoughts.

Tomorrow is my grandma's funeral, so I'm missing another day of work on top of last week. I feel like I'm about to crumble.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
I really hope that no one at work is trying to give you a hard time about not being at 100% right now.

FatAnimeBooty posted...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
I really hope that no one at work is trying to give you a hard time about not being at 100% right now.

I mean, they rightfully are. I basically took a week off last week (which was fine), but this week, I have not been too communicative. I still get work done, but I'm not as responsive as I typically would be (and I don't know why either.). I mean, a part of it is just that I miss messages, and don't actually see them until much later as I'm focused on something else.

I know it may seem unfair, but in public accounting, your team can't afford you to be like how I've been. I can tell my senior has about had it with me on this job, and I feel extremely bad about it. I think I was about to have a mental breakdown yesterday, but I can't afford to have one.

Nah, there's absolutely no "rightfully are" about this. You're going through a life altering event. If they can't understand that and think that you can just get over it and get back to work right away, then fuck them.
Glad to hear that you're trying to leave them.

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. To the point of your job. Dont stay someplace where you are not happy if you can help it. Life is special and we should have jobs that are killing us

FatAnimeBooty posted...

Nah, there's absolutely no "rightfully are" about this. You're going through a life altering event. If they can't understand that and think that you can just get over it and get back to work right away, then fuck them.
Glad to hear that you're trying to leave them.

This. Have you spoken to your manager about your grandma passing and it taking a toll on you? At my first office job, I went through a terrible breakup. Not wanting to let my personal life get mixed up with my professional life, I didn't mention it, tried to just barrel through, and continue working to the best of my ability.

During the next performance review I got a lower than average rating. Boss said my work was slipping recently and wanted to know if there was a reason. I told her I had been going through a big breakup. She was like, "Why didn't you say anything? If I had known, I could have given you a lesser work load and I wouldn't have given you this rating." Things happen in our personal lives that affect our ability to do our jobs. That's just life man.

Sorry about your gramma. Stop making excuses.

Im sorry for your loss

cjsdowg posted...

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. To the point of your job. Dont stay someplace where you are not happy if you can help it. Life is special and we should have jobs that are killing us

I was happy with this job, though. I got through some tough learning curves my first year as this was my first job, but I was fully expecting to have a good busy season and be promoted to senior this upcoming July. For all the stress of busy season, the rest of the year is relatively nice, and most of your co-workers are your age since it's public accounting. We have cool events all the time as well.

It's just, I blew it, and I'd have to leave out of my own ego and pride. It doesn't matter if I nail the rest of busy season, the talk of the town is going to be that I have poor communication skills, and that when it was time for me to be a senior, I was anything but. Sure, I could stick around and become a senior later, but the rest of my class will be promoted to senior while I'm an A3. I'll still be doing senior work "to test my senior ability" but getting paid an Associate salary. I know I shouldn't compare myself, but it's going to really hurt being left behind, and my insecurities will go through the roof.

BlazinBlue88 posted...

This. Have you spoken to your manager about your grandma passing and it taking a toll on you? At my first office job, I went through a terrible breakup. Not wanting to let my personal life get mixed up with my professional life, I didn't mention it, tried to just barrel through, and continue working to the best of my ability.

During the next performance review I got a lower than average rating. Boss said my work was slipping recently and wanted to know if there was a reason. I told her I had been going through a big breakup. She was like, "Why didn't you say anything? If I had known, I could have given you a lesser work load and I wouldn't have given you this rating." Things happen in our personal lives that affect our ability to do our jobs. That's just life man.

My partner was someone I called, practically immediately, as I knew this would have ramifications. He told me to take some time off, not to think about work. They've been supportive, but eventually, the expectation is I'm back on my feet. Public accounting is a hardcore environment around Jan-April and we, including me, knew this going in.

While he hasn't said anything yet, I know eventually he's going to confront me about the fact that I wasn't being responsive. I feel like a part of me is trying to intentionally give up.

maxpkmf posted...

Sorry about your gramma. Stop making excuses.

I've only ever blamed my shortcomings.

*hug* my condolences about your grandma. I know that loss can really hurt. I lose mine while I was pregnant and I always mourn that she never got to meet my baby. The pain will get better over time but it will always be there.

I think a fresh start would be really good for you. If you do get a new job, maybe take a few weeks between starting if you can afford it so you can reset yourself and take care of yourself.

Im sorry for your loss. Have you considered just taking leave for a couple of weeks?

Cleo_II posted...

*hug* my condolences about your grandma. I know that loss can really hurt. I lose mine while I was pregnant and I always mourn that she never got to meet my baby. The pain will get better over time but it will always be there.

I think a fresh start would be really good for you. If you do get a new job, maybe take a few weeks between starting if you can afford it so you can reset yourself and take care of yourself.

I appreciate yours and everyone else's condolences, thank you. Ideally, that would be the case, the break inbetween, give myself a mental break. Reflect on my stumbles, and what I can do to correct course and come out stronger. People say not to let work affect your personal life, so maybe starting somewhere new will allow me to see that a job is just a job.

Sariana21 posted...

Im sorry for your loss. Have you considered just taking leave for a couple of weeks?

If I could, I would. Any other time, it would be approved, but the week I got last week just to grieve was already a lot for this job.

I'm considering the same too. My grandma died from cancer in July. And my dad also has terminal cancer and isn't expected to make it much longer.

I have extreme anxiety issues and depression issues, and I'm a teacher, so we have to put on our fake smiles and it's killing me.

I've been applying to jobs non-stop.

PiOverlord posted...

It's my fault, but after my grandma died last week, I've been spiraling, and in public accounting, you can't spiral at this time of the year. Her dying wasn't just it, but the timing was right before my most important job of busy season (was my senior-role job to show that I can be a senior), and I missed out on getting to fly to the client with my team for that week and then I got sick at home and missed this week (still working, but not on-site, which is a big missed-opportunity). I haven't been as communicative, and my anxiety has gone through the roof as all the pressure is getting to me. My grandma dying was sad, but I think the fact that I saw her die in my own living room (she was here under hospice as mentioned in another thread) affected me more than I wish it did.

It's made me realize, I either need to get a fresh start at another firm, or leave for industry. I'm going to try to ride this busy season out, but I'm already messaging recruiters. Deciding if I'd ride out the 3/31 job I'm scheduled on as well, but to be honest, I kinda just want to leave this job behind. I may even consider transitioning to finance/a job that doesn't have a busy season. Busy seasons require you to be working over 100%, but this has shown that I can't even be 100% at times, so maybe this is the sign to leave public accounting. I need a job where, if I need to be less than 100%, it won't ruin me.

All the work I did this and last year, just to have two lousy weeks ruin it; I'm so mad at myself. My depression magically disappeared mid-2021, but the crippling thoughts from the depression era are starting to seep back in, and I'm trying to make sure I don't let it happen this time. I'm desperately trying to not have the mindset that I'm a failure, and that I somehow grab the jaws of total defeat from victory. It leads to some really dark thoughts.

Tomorrow is my grandma's funeral, so I'm missing another day of work on top of last week. I feel like I'm about to crumble.

how is your money situation?

if you can afford it, and/or a relative is willing to help you, have you thought about taking a month or 2 weeks off, @pioverlord ?

take some personal time, wake up late, hug your relative(s) and/or pet(s) in the morning, have a cup of coffee and stare at the sunrise or whatever and a hearty breakfast, for a couple days.

Get your mind off work, or stress, and feel like youre healing. Just keep decent habits (other than waking up late) such as shaving daily, showering, getting off your pajamas, and going outside of your dwelling daily so your cocoon/healing time doesnt become depression.

its ok not to be ok - it almost costed me my life to understand this

Cleo_II posted...

*hug* my condolences about your grandma. I know that loss can really hurt. I lose mine while I was pregnant and I always mourn that she never got to meet my baby. The pain will get better over time but it will always be there.

I think a fresh start would be really good for you. If you do get a new job, maybe take a few weeks between starting if you can afford it so you can reset yourself and take care of yourself.

this ^ agreed 100%

the_pika posted...

how is your money situation?

if you can afford it, and/or a relative is willing to help you, have you thought about taking a month or 2 weeks off, @pioverlord ?

take some personal time, wake up late, hug your relative(s) and/or pet(s) in the morning, have a cup of coffee and stare at the sunrise or whatever and a hearty breakfast, for a couple days.

Get your mind off work, or stress, and feel like youre healing. Just keep decent habits (other than waking up late) such as shaving daily, showering, getting off your pajamas, and going outside of your dwelling daily so your cocoon/healing time doesnt become depression.

its ok not to be ok - it almost costed me my life to understand this

I have a home to live in (my parents) so I'm not worried about that. My parents are nice people, and would never leave a child to fend for themselves, no matter how old we get. Additionally, I have a bit of a buffer before bills would demand that I find a job. I'm not going to quit until at least after April, maybe even after May, so definitely have room to save too. Thank you as well for your caring suggestion, it does make me feel that I still have control, and I can't let myself not believe in myself.

@Cleo_II

Don't feel obligated to answer, and I know there are a lot of factors, but I just had a call with external recruiters (I believe you're an internal recruiter) as in their company is a recruiting firm, not affiliated with any businesses. I told them about myself, and what my salary expectations are. I know they get paid based on our salary, so they ultimately will want us to get a job, but do you know if they are any good with finding "the right job" or do most people have buyer's regrets after accepting whatever was proposed to them by the recruiters?

I'm going through different avenues but was curious if you had any insight on that side of recruiting or not.

I used to be an external recruiter. Whats nice is that they are really good at negotiating on your behalf since that means more commission for them. They dont help candidates find jobs though. They generally have clients they work with and try to find them the right candidates. They will present you with the options they have, based on if the client is interested in speaking with you. Right now theyre probably passing your resume around to their client groups to see who might be interested in speaking with you. They may be great opportunities but they may not, so definitely do your research.

Cleo_II posted...

I used to be an external recruiter. Whats nice is that they are really good at negotiating on your behalf since that means more commission for them. They dont help candidates find jobs though. They generally have clients they work with and try to find them the right candidates. They will present you with the options they have, based on if the client is interested in speaking with you. Right now theyre probably passing your resume around to their client groups to see who might be interested in speaking with you. They may be great opportunities but they may not, so definitely do your research.

Gotcha, that sounds good. Just talked with another who was even willing to do a quick resume review for me, and give me a few pointers, and addressed some of my concerns, so I'm feeling a little better about the process. Thanks for letting me know, will definitely update this resume and strengthen it to the extent I can.

As a senior manager at CPA firm, I think people will forgive you fairly quickly. We had a guy a couple of years ago whose wife had a baby on April 1. He never told any of the higher ups she was pregnant until the day before, and he missed the last 2 weeks of tax season. It was bad, but he was promoted at the end of the year because he was a top performer.

I struggle to remember this, but keep in mind that the people at your firm generally want you to succeed. If youve had a bad few weeks, they want you to get better and stick around. Its much better to promote from within than hire from outside.

That said, there are lots of opportunities out there. Its easy to find a job as an accountant right now. Though KPMG recently announced layoffs, so maybe trouble in the industry is on the horizon.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

As a senior manager at CPA firm, I think people will forgive you fairly quickly. We had a guy a couple of years ago whose wife had a baby on April 1. He never told any of the higher ups she was pregnant until the day before, and he missed the last 2 weeks of tax season. It was bad, but he was promoted at the end of the year because he was a top performer.

I struggle to remember this, but keep in mind that the people at your firm generally want you to succeed. If youve had a bad few weeks, they want you to get better and stick around. Its much better to promote from within than hire from outside.

That said, there are lots of opportunities out there. Its easy to find a job as an accountant right now. Though KPMG recently announced layoffs, so maybe trouble in the industry is on the horizon.

thats like the opposite from how IT firms and consultancies (including KPMG) work.

you never, ever, ever promote from the inside. Heck you dont even give raises. Best way to get a raise and promotion is to quit and then re-apply for a higher promotion

the_pika posted...

thats like the opposite from how IT firms and consultancies (including KPMG) work.

you never, ever, ever promote from the inside. Heck you dont even give raises. Best way to get a raise and promotion is to quit and then re-apply for a higher promotion

Interesting. In public accounting, people will leave to industry and get a better salary, but public tends to give much better annual raises.

The issue of hiring in experienced people and paying them better than current staff is always there, though. Half the time, these experienced hires dont work out. The firm would rather their current employees stay, even they theyre relatively underpaid.