Current Events > This place really is (or at least was) unhealthy

(+) Yeah! (+)

I spent a lot of my childhood/teenage years (~11-17) posting on CE and I remember I was made fun of horribly back then especially towards the beginning of my posting here (age 12-14 especially). I can see why, really - I was incredibly annoying and was looking for validation and love on CE (cue laugh track) that I wasn't getting in real life. I was overly vulnerable on a place that I should not have been. The mindsets on here contributed to a lot of rigid thinking I had about myself (no one could love me because I was ugly, I was beneath other people, and so on), and I associated a lot of my stereotypical "nerdy" characteristics with shame and tried hard to suppress them.

I'm not blaming CE. My childhood was simply sad no matter how I explain it, and I was abusing myself by posting a lot of the inflammatory content that I did when I was younger. I wanted to be treated badly, which is why I did it, even back then. My subconscious was smart enough to know just what to do to receive the ire of the internet, and I did this up until 2019. I had many different usernames and always had many alts (funnily enough I have only one now) and I used the alts to abuse myself in the later years too.

It's not just CE, it's probably the vast majority of the internet, and the world. But there are a lot of hurting people on here, who project their own insecurities onto the boards constantly. Many of them are made fun of too. I just never learned not to take the internet seriously until a few years ago -- people feel free to express mentally ill views on the internet, it's the nature of the internet itself.

I remember there used to be a lot of incel-type viewpoints here and I used to subscribe to them. I believed no one would ever love me, and I was certain of it. I started dating a really nice, nerdy guy with an amazing personality a few months ago and it feels so surreal. He is very, VERY shy (and I used to be REALLY shy), a stereotypical nerd (like me lol), and someone that a lot of CE (at least back then) would probably have thought negatively of and I probably would have dismissed him had I met him earlier. I haven't known him that long yet, but my guess is that we could really be in love with each other eventually... Not a fake "love" born out of desperation or a feeling like I will never get someone who treats me better, like I have had in other relationships. (Or he could end up being a total asshole. But he seems like an incredible person).

I never even dated until I was 24, only did casual relationships because I assumed no one could ever actually love me. Again, I'm not trying to disparage CE, I don't even know what it's like here anymore, and those were my issues, not CE's issues -- but there definitely was a lot of toxicity on here and I didn't really realize it.

My guess is that most people on here are in their 20s and 30s+ at this point. But if there's anyone younger, or just anyone who doesn't realize it yet -- don't take this place too seriously. There are a lot of hurting, traumatized, individuals on the internet and the internet is the only place they feel like they can express those negative sides of themselves.

are you female?

This place has got worse. All those bitter teenagers? Theyre now bitter men in their 30s angry at the world

hexa posted...

are you female?

Case in point.......

NeroxDante posted...

This place has got worse. All those bitter teenagers? Theyre now bitter men in their 30s angry at the world

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'll have to linger around for a bit to see if that's true.

All I know is alt accounts need to be banned.

CE was definitely more fun overall back in the mid 00s than now >_>

I'm permabanned user ManFanStomper88

At least you aren't Ronex?

NeonTentacles posted...

CE was definitely more fun overall back in the mid 00s than now >_>

There were more people at least. My guess is the most unhinged people stayed here while the normal people started using other forums or just started living IRL more.

The moderators have gotten a little better lately about handling some of the worst offenders but yeah this place can get pretty toxic pretty fast. Makes it all the more sadder that I wager most of the peeps here are mid to high 20s into their 30s, and they'll just brush things off with "don't take CE so seriously", which I myself have learned to do, but I also still understand that as bad as CE can be, it can be a refuge for some people as their only outlet.

Touch posted...

The moderators have gotten a little better lately about handling some of the worst offenders but yeah this place can get pretty toxic pretty fast. Makes it all the more sadder that I wager most of the peeps here are mid to high 20s into their 30s, and they'll just brush things off with "don't take CE so seriously", which I myself have learned to do, but I also still understand that as bad as CE can be, it can be a refuge for some people as their only outlet.

Yeah. I didn't really have the perspective back then that a lot of people on here are really mentally ill.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

nah, although I remember her posting around the time when I was a big troll too

MrResetti posted...

At least you aren't Ronex?

Holy crap, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

Chesh posted...

I was abusing myself by posting a lot of the inflammatory content that I did when I was younger. I wanted to be treated badly, which is why I did it, even back then. My subconscious was smart enough to know just what to do to receive the ire of the internet, and I did this up until 2019. I had many different usernames and always had many alts (funnily enough I have only one now) and I used the alts to abuse myself in the later years too.

So you shit posted and got the desired results back, and possibly got some accounts banned by posting "inflammatory content" and it was because your subconscious wanted it. OK.

Chesh posted...

don't take this place too seriously.

Kinda goes without saying. Hope you're doing better now that you're older.

anyone member nightmaker? y'all should be ASHAMED for shitting on him whenever he posted a pic

Chesh posted...

I remember there used to be a lot of incel-type viewpoints here

That hasn't changed

Chesh posted...

there definitely was a lot of toxicity on here

Neither has that

I've been here a while but I was already "old" when I started using CE, I am glad the internet wasn't a thing when I was a kid :O I just come here out of habit mainly these days, and drop a post here and there, it's definitely less fun these days, there are less lighthearted topics and a lot of these people seemingly just come here to spend hours arguing over some shit or whatever

Chesh posted...

although I remember her posting around the time when I was a big troll too

Oh ZFC is still here! She is GrandConjuration (I'm probably getting the name a bit wrong) now!

Warned lol

NeroxDante posted...

Warned lol

I'm sure this topic was all there was to it, and it wasn't a troll account.

LOL

Thats a lot of words for teenagers are immature

Why was this person warned?

It's a lot less mean spirited than it was when I first started coming here ten years ago. Age has mellowed the user base out mostly I guess.

I feel for you TC, I have self perception issues to this day. But I actually had the opposite experience. I already felt unlovable and worthless from irl and some CE users actually said some nice things to me that I really valued.

WaterLink posted...

So you shit posted and got the desired results back, and possibly got some accounts banned by posting "inflammatory content" and it was because your subconscious wanted it. OK.

Yes, I was looking to harm myself by getting people to hate me online, basically.

Kinda goes without saying. Hope you're doing better now that you're older.

I guess I didn't really realize it when I was a kid. My self esteem is a lot more healthy now.

BoyOfBattle posted...

anyone member nightmaker? y'all should be ASHAMED for shitting on him whenever he posted a pic

Lol I remember he came back a few years later and was a graduate student with a ton of publications and was really fit and seemed to have his life together but barely anyone on CE even noticed.

It's not just CE. Gamefaqs in general is a very toxic place.

Honestly, I've been thinking of closing my account. The few interesting tidbits I see occasionally do not balance out the mounds of shit that have to be dug through.

yup