Current Events > What's it like to lose a pet?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've had a cat for a little over 8 years now and she's starting to show her age (assuming 12ish, maybe older). She's basically my first pet, and after not growing up with any the thought of her not being around is starting to enter my mind more often. Just feels awful thinking about it.

1st actual pet i had for full life: cat lived 10 years. heartbroken over her loss. she was suffering for a long time and had to put her to sleep (abdominal tumor).

2nd pet is still alive. when i thought the dog was dying because of vertigo i was silent and didn't want to talk about her. shit was rough. going to miss her crazy personality if she ever passes (had this dog ever since she was 6 weeks old) wasn't by choice. currently 12 years old.

Its fucking terrible. We had a cat die suddenly at like 4 years old. One of the worst days ever. We have a big house with 4 more cats and three dogs. 10 years from now is going to be a miserable time

Really god damn painful

After being sad, grieving, mourning, I would question did I give my pet a good life, and what could I do better. For all the enrichment a pet gives you, you want to give it the best life possible.

I don't have much experience because as a kid we never kept pets long due to various circumstances. The one we had long enough to finish his natural life I was sad when he passed but i know he enjoyed life. If I lost a pet to something stupid like them getting out and hit by a car I imagine that would devastate me far more.

The_Critic posted...

After being sad, grieving, mourning, I would question did I give my pet a good life, and what could I do better. For all the enrichment a pet gives you, you want to give it the best life possible.

thank you for this. she's sitting in my lap right now and i can't help but wonder if i've done enough for her.

yeah it sucks. did an at home euthanasia for our dog last year. she had spleen cancer that was only found after it ruptured and also after having an emergency surgery to remove it. unfortunately it metastasized to her lungs and was only given about a month to live, but decided to not let her suffer anymore than she needed to.

glad I adopted her tho, she was a good pal for the 8 years I had her. and Im sure she enjoyed her life as well.

and thank you to everyone else for the info. @kingdrake2 @NeroxDante @smackems @metallica846 @the_critic @dummy420 @noisetank

you're good people.

BLooD_WoLf posted...

I've had a cat for a little over 8 years now and she's starting to show her age (assuming 12ish, maybe older). She's basically my first pet, and after not growing up with any the thought of her not being around is starting to enter my mind more often. Just feels awful thinking about it.

I went through this exactly.

Every word you said.
"Showing her age" in particular was when I noticed she was having a bit of difficulty jumping on the beds, she would have to grab on to climb instead of jumping easily as she always would.

I wanted to not think about it. I just blocked the thoughts out.

My last cat bubbles lived a long life until he went downhill fast. Eventually he just couldnt walk, and I finally (through tears) made the appointment to have him put down. He died in my arms on the way to the appointment.

he is in my dreams constantly and I miss him all the time. My brother.

even with that pain, Id never trade it for how he made me feel when he was alive.

I still sometimes feel bad for the loss of my childhood cat. We grew up together. But I know that he isn't suffering or in pain like he no doubt was, he had to have been all arthritic and that made him all grumpy so much. It hurt so much at first. But over time I grew to find ways to heal the wound left in my heart. A scar still remains as proof of what we had. But my heart is filled with love from others now and I have no doubt he's proud of me and looking out for me in his own way. <3

My 8 year old Kerbey has been really sick with bloody poops and hasnt eaten since Saturday.

I was getting extremely worried but a few hours ago she started wolfing down the chicken and rice I made her.

So relieved.

I've lost a few. It really does hurt because I'm a homebody so I'm around them a lot, and if they're indoor cats they generally die due to old age and the illness that comes with it. They keep their personality but you can see things wear on them.

Having had a cat that died in 2018 a bit young at around ~11, I can say say he was happy for most of his life and even when he was sick with whatever he had, he still was really nice, appreciated company, comforted people, loved his litter mate, etc. I didn't dwell on it too long because, as silly as it sounds, I don't think they would've wanted that. He was a pet, but he peacefully passed in the care of his family.

I've had those thoughts a lot and all I can say is don't dwell on it too much and enjoy the time you have. Don't hesitate to get them seen by a vet if you can afford it, of course, but vets can only do so much in some cases.

Hope your cat does well, OP

My last cat passed away and it was very devastating to me.

If it makes you feel better, last cat that passed of mine lived to 20, wifes mother in law had a siamese reach 21. You still may have another solid 5-6 years left at least, they are resilient little buggers.

I used to be the "Dont get a new pet after one passes for a while" guy but that changed over the year. A new cat won't replace your friend, but it will help with the healing process while making a new buddy. I've found that sitting and dwelling vs getting a new cat shortly after, the new pet helps. It's something to consider.

I got my first cat in 2000. He died in 2012 and I still think about him every day.

It's heartbreaking, pets are part of your family and you really feel the loss of them not being around anymore. My dog was 17 when he had to be put to sleep (his kidneys failed), he was pretty much full of life until a couple of weeks before his death, he went downhill very fast and there was nothing that could be done for him so it was kinder to let him go - and I'm so grateful I was able to say goodbye and be with him in his final moments, it's very hard but you get through it somehow.

This was just over 10 years ago now, I'd had him since he was around 2 and a half, he was a rescue dog, and I'm so happy I was able to have him in my life for so long, I still think of him to this day, I'll never forget him.

I lost one several years ago. Killed in an accident. She'd ran out the back door, down the stairs, looped around the house to the driveway and then into the street. And of course, there had to be a single car on a residential street coming down at that exact moment. My only solace is that she died almost instantly, so she didn't suffer.

I've never gotten over it. I still think of her every day.

It feels like you'll never be fully happy again and that's because you won't be.

Awful, it hurts a lot and you'll miss them

Hell I still think about my childhood dog and he passed more than 10 years ago

My dog died in September. It was a constant thought running through my mind that made me incredibly sad all the time. Now it's a constant thought running through my mind that mostly makes me feel numb from desensitization.

I can still feel normal in moments, but it eventually comes back. Doesn't help I did everything with my dog, so there is hardly anything I could do that doesn't make me think of him and miss him.

I won't consider getting another dog unless Im sure I won't just be trying to run from this stuff. I want to fully go through this process so that Im not just trying to replace him.

Last time I lost a pet was in 2014 while I was in grad school. It was my parents' dog but I was clearly his favorite, and we got him in 2003. Parents call me out of the blue one morning on the way to campus saying they were going to put him down and that I should say goodbye over the phone. He had cancer and went blind a few months prior to that and his health nosedived within a week. I was 600+ miles away and a wreck for a full week. Got a little shrine of him in my home in Maryland

Hate to think about it, but I'm probably gonna be really fucked up again when my cat passes. Hope she lives a full life. Got her just over 2 years ago and made it through isolation during the quarantine thanks to her (prior to that I was drinking a little too much every night). So if she does live 20+ years somebody is gonna be seeing a 50+ year old black dude losing his shit at the vet

It hurts and you'll always miss them

but as other users have said you need to think about the life you gave the pet and the good times you had together

BLooD_WoLf posted...

I've had a cat for a little over 8 years now and she's starting to show her age (assuming 12ish, maybe older). She's basically my first pet, and after not growing up with any the thought of her not being around is starting to enter my mind more often. Just feels awful thinking about it.

you get the dreadful call telling you its time. You agree, and hang up the phone.

as you hang up, your friend or relatives that are around you as you hang up ask you about the news. You want to tell them itS the end for your pet, but you realize you cant talk without crying, and youre doing your best to hold it it.

so you just shrug and give your friend/relative a thumbs down, and he then hugs you. It feels comforting, but you wish he didnt because now you have to keep fighting tears back.

your friends/relatives offer you to drive you, but you insist on taking the long drive alone. You bring some big ass sunshades with you, so no one sees your eyes.

during the long, silent drive, you remember the times youve spent together. You wonder if you could have done something better. You wonder heaven, pets in heaven and the rainbow bridge. Tears stream down your face while you drive.

you arrive to the vet place, once again trying not to cry. But this time its too hard, and you end bawling right there and then, in front of the veterinarian and the vet technician.

you hug your pet, still trying to fight tears, but you cant. The vet starts crying. The vet technician starts crying. They violated a covid rule or two letting you in so you could say goodbye.

as you give your buddy one last hug, her neck goes limp, instantly, as if it were a broken neck. The vet, says shes resting now, and apologizes for the neck thing, which isnt her fault.

you drive back home, crying the entire time, hoping your neighbors wont be in the same elevator you are.

you get home, lock your door and let out a huge scream. Its not crying, its not bawling, its more like a the kind of scream that comes from extreme physical pain, but nothing hurts physically. You no longer cry. You scream, a lot. Blood curling screams.

you begin to wonder if the neighbors will hear you and believe someone is getting killed and call the police, so you muffle your screams.

you notice its been like an hour. You call work and let them know what happened, and take the next 2 days off.

you cry randomly and dream about your dog for 2 days.

one day you walk around home, and you wonder where her soul went. You worry it might be in a cold, dark place, wondering where her dad is. But then, call it coincidence, or call it something supernatural , you find ONE PIECE of her favorite heart-shaped cereal treats, carefully lying on her former bed, right in front of you - youre positive that wasnt there before. You feel this is your pet telling you its ok dad.

a few days later, you dream youre cuddling with your dog, hugging her, and stop worrying about her putting her paws on your pillow because she came from the spirit world, which is clean. But you notice your dog has some different markings on her fur, markings she doesnt really had. You wake up.

a week later, your parents bought a dog for you. Theyd just it got and but if, they ask you for permission. You tell them no. You refuse. Then they show you the picture: the puppy theyre showing you has the same markings your own dog had in your dream. You understand it as a message and accept.

Now you got a new puppy. She is not a substitute for your buddy. She is not replacing her. Your buddy left a permanent mark in your heart and she will never be replaced - the new puppy merely made your heart a bigger place, with room for yet another loving buddy, but they never replace each other: there is place in your newer for them all.

no, the above isnt fiction

Holy shit that was deep

It's very sad and it sucks a lot. But the pain fades over time. Eventually you might feel ready to get another pet

As a kid I usually always had multiple pets. It helped to still have pets when one died. I now live on my own. For years I didn't have a pet but I finally did get a cat. I'm worried what it will be like when my cat goes. He is my only pet, he lives in my small apartment, where I will definitely notice his absence, and he is really well and truly my cat and nobody else's. Which is different from family pets in my childhood

I think it will be a very dark time someday. I try not to think about it

Really, really awful. Even when you don't know them. I took in a stray kitten when I was ~15 and it must've gotten sick, it was so sweet but I couldn't afford a vet and couldn't do anything about it. Woke up one morning to it struggling to breathe and just held and gently pat it until it passed away. I basically held it and sobbed until rigor mortis set in. It's horrible.

tripleh213 posted...

Holy shit that was deep

It's not great, to put it lightly. We've had to put down numerous family dogs over the years due to old age, and it doesn't get any easier. The worst was when we had a string of two Newfoundland puppies that died young due to genetic kidney failure; I was away at college when the first one passed and wasn't that close to him, but I was considerably closer than the second, and she didn't live a year before passing. I tried to be optimistic throughout her decline, but I'll never forget the look she gave me when I took her out of the car at the vet's office for the last time, and it was clear that we both knew she was going to die.

One of the hard truths about bringing pets into your life is that, barring some dire circumstances, you will eventually outlive them. The only advice I can offer is to not let the sadness of losing a pet discourage you from having them; the love they give you throughout their lives far outweighs the sadness of losing them.

I've had a number of cats over the years and it definitely hurts when they're gone, fortunately most of mine lived long lives. The one that hurt the most was actually a cat I had for only six months or so. Took in a stray who I later realised was pregnant, she had a litter of kittens (I still have two from that litter). Later took her to the vet to get fixed and got the call next day that she somehow died. She was way too young to go. One of the two remaining kittens was devastated she didn't return.

I had to put down two dogs last year. One in March and one in July. I still think about them all the time. When I come home from work the house feels too empty and quiet and I still have occasional nightmares where I wonder if I made the right decision. I've been having a pretty rough time with it.

spungemunky posted...

I had to put down two dogs last year. One in March and one in July. I still think about them all the time. When I come home from work the house feels too empty and quiet and I still have occasional nightmares where I wonder if I made the right decision. I've been having a pretty rough time with it.

Yeah. Having to pull the trigger yourself comes with a whole extra list of reoccurring thoughts. Everything can happen so fast when you gotta make the decision, but you have the rest of your life to think about it after it's done.

Death comes for us all. I recall one of my first pets had died while I was at primary school. After coming home for the day everyone was distraught. One of our dogs had eaten my cat and nothing was left except the tail. My brother shot the dog. So I guess I lost two pets that day.

After our time together during the pandemic I feel very close with my current cat. Whenever he is sick I notice it immediately and am around to help him more than I was earlier in his life. Hes 15 now but still seems pretty healthy when he does eventually die I plan to mourn his death by travelling around the world for a year.

My cat was chased by a fox at night time cos my neighbour heard him screaming meowing and the fox. traumatized to death. Omg he was afraid to go outside shit in the house cos of the fear and then died 1 and a half weeks later it was devastating. He was so nice and loved attention rip ghost the cat he died 1 and a half years ago

It rips a hole in your heart. Me and my wife were adopted by a stray cat; we're unable to have a child of our own, so for us, she became the closest thing to it. And when we lost her, after nine happy years, the pain cut right through the bone.

I lost my first dog, Pumpkin, because she got hit by a car. Lost my first cat, Boogie, to a tumor. Most recently lost my cat, Missus, due to old age (she was 15). Still think about them all. Every one of them brought me an amazing amount of joy and I hope I was able to repay that to them.

It absolutely sucks. We had an 8-year-old cat got kidney failure and had to be put down last May. I broke down crying in the waiting room :(

WilliamPorygon posted...

It absolutely sucks. We had an 8-year-old cat got kidney failure and had to be put down last May. I broke down crying in the waiting room :(

Yeah. I cried when the news came back in the room even though I was expecting it from what I was going through with him at home the couple days before. And I cried when I held him as he was put down. And I cried every day for a month after. And Im tearing up right now as I wrote this >_>. I was never a crier before this, but it just hits different. I was always an advocate for crying being healthy tho. So, at least I set myself up to not feel insecure over it :/. Im good at swallowing it and moving on when I want to around others tho. Sometimes it don't hit you until you get back to your house. And there's times it hit me super hard when I got back. Even though I spent the whole night just gaming and bullshitting with family like normal. The only good side is I thought Id be questioning if it was worth living without him, since I don't got much. But that part never happened. I never fell that far.

To lose one pet is unfortunate.

Very terrible, but you are grateful that they were in your life and that they had you in theirs and they had a loving home and the best life they could have. But it it is a devastating loss. Time will heal it, and I recommend eventually reinvesting that love into a new pet who needs it.

Cocytus posted...

Very terrible, but you are grateful that they were in your life and that they had you in theirs and they had a loving home and the best life they could have. But it it is a devastating loss. Time will heal it, and I recommend eventually reinvesting that love into a new pet who needs it.

I wish this was as universal as people who experience it think it is >_>. My thoughts haven't been so optimistic. Im more of the "always feel like you failed and could of done more" type. Even though I spent 8 years never spending a full night away from him (no exaggeration) and barely ever went anywhere he couldn't go too.