Current Events > Anyone else single and okay with it?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Around this time last year I went through a pretty bad breakup with my then girlfriend of almost 4 years. Since then I believe Ive gone through all of the normal stages: denial, anger, self pity, depression, etc. honestly I was in a dark place for a while and wasnt sure if Id ever get over it. But I think Im finally at a point now where Im feeling acceptance. Like as much as Ive struggled to get through it, I realize now that I dont need to depend on someone else to be happy. All I need to do is focus on myself, do the things I enjoy, live my life one day at a time and see what the future holds. It honestly feels liberating to come to peace with being on your own and know that everything will be okay.

Everyone should be okay with being single

otherwise even if youre not youre at best in a codependency based relationship

Simping for women that will never have any expectations for me because they don't know I exist is much easier than dating

Totally fine with it. I'm 36 and never even attempted to talk to a woman or get laid.

I guess I could have if I wanted to, because I know some girls found me attractive in high school, because of overhearing things, or having them just blatantly tell me, but they got the message that I was not interested in them after trying to engage me in conversation.

Not okay with it. This is hell.

40s, single, piss off.

It's hard to imagine most people being fine with it past a certain age. You're all alone and the older you get, the busier people become.

I asked my fiancee and she said I'm not single

Been there felt that. Ended up focusing on getting laid only and then when I was done I met my now wife. Its a great feeling when you are able to move on from a break up though

Being single is kind of lonely, but I'm okay with it.

Solid_Snake07 posted...

Everyone should be okay with being single

otherwise even if youre not youre at best in a codependency based relationship

Yeah looking back it definitely felt like that at time. The feeling that you have to try to change your normal behavior in order to make someone happy isnt very healthy and I feel that on my own I can be myself without having to worry about what anyone else thinks.

Silver_Patron posted...

It's hard to imagine most people being fine with it past a certain age. You're all alone and the older you get, the busier people become.

Honestly I was alone for most of my life before this relationship and I feel that I can finally understand the old saying Its better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Like even if things werent always perfect I can still look back and take comfort in the fact that I got to experience some good years with someone even if I never get that again with someone else.

yeah more or less. it's OK.

Heartomaton posted...

Not okay with it. This is hell.

This, missing out on basic human interactions with the opposite sex is never a good thing.

Alucard188 posted...

Being single is kind of lonely, but I'm okay with it.

I guess this is kinda where Im at too. I still feel lonely sometimes if I think about it too much, but in general being on your own isnt the worst thing in the world.

It also helps to keep myself distracted with things I enjoy doing and things coming up that Im looking forward to, like all of the good games coming in 2023 that Im excited to play. Also Im going to my first Wrestlemania coming up in April which Im super pumped for. Even if WWE isnt quite what it used to be theres still nothing quite like attending a wrestling show in person, and as a longtime wrestling fan of 20 years this is something I can finally knock off my bucket list.

Anyone who says they're ok with being single isn't ok with being single.

BloodMoon7 posted...

Anyone who says they're ok with being single isn't ok with being single.

bullshit

BloodMoon7 posted...

Anyone who says they're ok with being single isn't ok with being single.

A while back I probably would have agreed with that but I think there are different stages to it. Like as recent as 6 months ago I was still telling myself I wouldnt be able to be happy again but looking back I realize how silly it was to have that mindset. Sure there may always be a part of me that would like to experience again the feeling of sharing my life with someone, but at the same time Im in no rush to have that again because quite honestly its exhausting to even think about trying to start over from scratch. Furthermore I feel theres a certain level of comfort and freedom in getting to a point where you realize you dont need to be with someone to have a good life. Almost as if a large weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

BloodMoon7 posted...

Anyone who says they're ok with being single isn't ok with being single.

I don't think that's true. I really am fine with it.

But I concede that I am a very abnormal person. Sometimes I feel downright inhuman with how much I value my privacy and isolation.

I'm married now, but when I was single I was totally fine with it.

Hornswoggled posted...

I don't think that's true. I really am fine with it.

But I concede that I am a very abnormal person. Sometimes I feel downright inhuman with how much I value my privacy and isolation.

Nothing wrong with that. Tbh Ive always kept to myself for the most part and have never really considered myself to be a social person. Sometimes it can be fun to get out and do stuff but at the end of the day its important to know yourself and do what makes you happy, even if that involves not always being around people.

if Prince could be okay with it

frozenstar posted...

bullshit

It's like when someone says they're vegan.

BloodMoon7 posted...

It's like when someone says they're vegan.

I'm not vegan, I'm a vegetarian. I eat eggs and dairy.

frozenstar posted...

I'm not vegan, I'm a vegetarian. I eat eggs and dairy.

Hmm....

I've been single for over 30 years and am fine with it. I can't make my own plans and not worry about upsetting a significant other

Im married and absolutely love my life, because I get to share it with someone who gets me and is in synch with me in almost every way. We have two amazing, brilliant and absolutely insane kids who are equal parts delightful and frustrating. I wouldnt miss it for the world.

That said, I am thankful for what I have, but I could quite happily and comfortably be on my own.

sex havers getout

dr__strangelove posted...

sex havers getout

I saw the pics you posted. Get out yourself lol.

I don't know if "okay" is the right word for it... I guess "just accepted" is closer...

When I was younger it depressed me but now not so much. Some just aren't cut out for dating/marriage and are better off searching for other things to live for.

hulkhogan1 posted...

even if I never get that again with someone else.

I am happy you have accepted where you are right now, as that is important. But why do you assume this? With you having had some experience, I bet you could get there again with someone else if you tried. If you wanted to, of course.

Second post nailed it

hulkhogan1 posted...

Yeah looking back it definitely felt like that at time. The feeling that you have to try to change your normal behavior in order to make someone happy isnt very healthy and I feel that on my own I can be myself without having to worry about what anyone else thinks.

Theres nothing wrong with making compromise in a relationship. Its pretty much always necessary on some level to keep things healthy.

But if youre willing to compromise anything and everything cause youre terrified of being alone.thats not good. Like I said at best youve got a codependency problem where youre both equally scared of being alone. At worse youll end up with someone who knows youre scared shitless to leave them and they know they can get away with murder.

Dating is a scam

It's too hard to find another introverted woman who lives similar lifestyle as I do.

I actually told myself being single is okay. But it just gets tougher everyday.

There's 3,904,727,342 women in the world.
Statically the odds are in your favor to snag one of them.

I forgot what it's like to have someone like that in my life, so I barely know what I'm missing out on. Most people on Tinder don't seem compatible with me, and I'm not even in a place to date. I assume I want a gf.

I have anger, depression, and health issues. I would not be a good partner. As such, I am fully okay with being forever single.

i've been single my whole life and i'm definitely not okay with it

I have strong mental hangups that make me very much NOT ok with it. It only gets worse with each year that passes.

KogaSteelfang posted...

I have strong mental hangups that make me very much NOT ok with it. It only gets worse with each year that passes.

To be brutally honest, you seem like a really lovely guy who has a lot to offer. Your biggest problem is that you've decided you have nothing to offer, so you don't.

Kakapo posted...

To be brutally honest, you seem like a really lovely guy who has a lot to offer. Your biggest problem is that you've decided you have nothing to offer, so you don't.

That's some of the least brutal honesty I've gotten from someone on here. Very much feels like a compliment with just an accurate observation attached. So, thanks.

Though, obviously I disagree with having anything to offer.

I am not interested in being in a relationship right now and that's fine I suppose. That may change in the near future, though.

KogaSteelfang posted...

That's some of the least brutal honesty I've gotten from someone on here. Very much feels like a compliment with just an accurate observation attached. So, thanks.

Though, obviously I disagree with having anything to offer.

Nah, Ive been a shithead to you in the past.

Mainly because you go with the self-pitying stuff.

Honestly bruss, you are objectively far more attractive than I am, all things considered. You should have no problem at all getting dates if you honestly open yourself up to the possibility that, uh, it is in fact a possibility.

Seriously bruss, Im a weird little goblin man and Im not even nice, and Ive never had any problem. You would have no problems at all.

Just believe in yourself. Hell, try dating and just think of it as an experiment or something. You can do it, I believe in you.

Kakapo posted...

To be brutally honest, you seem like a really lovely guy who has a lot to offer. Your biggest problem is that you've decided you have nothing to offer, so you don't.

This is the truth. I tell Koga this all the time. He is a lovely guy and we message regularly.

bsp77 posted...

This is the truth. I tell Koga this all the time. He is a lovely guy and we message regularly.

Exactly, and even Im saying it, and Im the king of snark!

Koga is literally fucking attractive as fuck.

Kakapo posted...

Nah, Ive been a shithead to you in the past.

Mainly because you go with the self-pitying stuff.

Ah, ok. I don't recall you specifically saying much. But I do tend to start spiraling mentally when I get in that mood. Guess I just didn't notice who said what. But I don't blame you, I can absolutely be a drag.

Kakapo posted...

Honestly bruss, you are objectively far more attractive than I am, all things considered. You should have no problem at all getting dates if you honestly open yourself up to the possibility that, uh, it is in fact a possibility.

I used to believe it was possible. Actually, back then it didn't even bother me, and I was pretty optimistic. Then it just started to eat away at me after turning 30. So, about 9 years ago. In that 9 years I really did try, just to prove it was possible so I wouldn't end up like I am. But every attempt just further proved that idea wrong.

Kakapo posted...

Seriously bruss, Im a weird little goblin man and Im not even nice, and Ive never had any problem. You would have no problems at all.

I'm glad for you, but this kind of statement generally isn't helpful. It reinforces bad ideas like "I tried for years and failed, while unfriendly little goblin man succeeds easily. Guess I'm a worse option than he is."

Someone else tried encouraging me once by describing how his fat ugly friend gets laid multiple times a week. Well... You just said I'm worse than someone you consider fat and ugly, so not exactly helping.

Kakapo posted...

Just believe in yourself. Hell, try dating and just think of it as an experiment or something. You can do it, I believe in you.

Oh, you think I haven't tried. I see where the confusion comes in. It's not that I haven't tried, it's that I'm apparently just universally unwanted. It kinda takes someone agreeing to go on a date for it to happen.

Besides, at this point I may be too far gone. Why risk inflicting myself on someone else. How am I supposed to make someone else happy? Why would they ever want to stay with me?