Current Events > $1,000,000 if you can manage one of the following feats in sport.

(+) Yeah! (+)

definitely basketball since it's the only one I can potentially win despite no ability on my part

the others are all so impossible that I can't even decide a possible second choice

• You cant draw a walk; Shohei has no need to worry about accuracy and can let it rip. Hell, even getting beaned doesnt give you a win. This man can throw over 100 mph so youre at serious risk of a concussion or brain damage.
• Hes only facing you. One of the main reasons closers are so frightening in baseball is because theyre only pitching for an inning or two so they can go all out. Fuck that, Ohtani only has to pitch to a single batter and doesnt even need to worry about walking or beaning you.
• You still have to get it past fielders.
• You vastly underestimate how hard it is to hit a pitch in the high 90s/low 100s. My older brother was a pitcher from when he was 10 or so throughout college and could throw around the mid-high 80s. I tried batting against him after watching one of his games in college and could barely see the ball as it sped by, and I guarantee he was holding back to make absolutely sure he didnt hit me. Add 20 mph from a pitcher who isnt afraid of the inside of the plate and Id be terrified.

Show Curry a picture of me boning his wife, just as he's about to shoot.

This is when the movie BASEketball finally pays off

https://youtu.be/e_2Lq-EJTHQ

You vastly underestimate how hard it is to hit a pitch in the high 90s/low 100s. My older brother was a pitcher from when he was 10 or so throughout college and could throw around the mid-high 80s. I tried batting against him after watching one of his games in college and could barely see the ball as it sped by, and I guarantee he was holding back to make absolutely sure he didnt hit me. Add 20 mph from a pitcher who isnt afraid of the inside of the plate and Id be terrified.

* You vastly underestimate how hard it is to hit a pitch in the high 90s/low 100s. My older brother was a pitcher from when he was 10 or so throughout college and could throw around the mid-high 80s. I tried batting against him after watching one of his games in college and could barely see the ball as it sped by, and I guarantee he was holding back to make absolutely sure he didnt hit me. Add 20 mph from a pitcher who isnt afraid of the inside of the plate and Id be terrified.

You guys definitely dont want the Ohtani deal for a number of reasons; TC balanced it horribly

* You cant draw a walk; Shohei has no need to worry about accuracy and can let it rip. Hell, even getting beaned doesnt give you a win. This man can throw over 100 mph so youre at serious risk of a concussion or brain damage.
* Hes only facing you. One of the main reasons closers are so frightening in baseball is because theyre only pitching for an inning or two so they can go all out. Fuck that, Ohtani only has to pitch to a single batter and doesnt even need to worry about walking or beaning you.
* You still have to get it past fielders.
* You vastly underestimate how hard it is to hit a pitch in the high 90s/low 100s. My older brother was a pitcher from when he was 10 or so throughout college and could throw around the mid-high 80s. I tried batting against him after watching one of his games in college and could barely see the ball as it sped by, and I guarantee he was holding back to make absolutely sure he didnt hit me. Add 20 mph from a pitcher who isnt afraid of the inside of the plate and Id be terrified.
tl;dr
Baseball is awful unless retooled. Hoping Curry misses is by far the best option since he has to stay behind the arc and only gets one shot.

Baseball would be the easiest - I would just try to bunt every time.

Football - Henry will carry the football and run across the length of a 100-yard football field. You can start from anywhere you choose (i.e. behind, in front, or parallel to him), but your attempt must result in a down by contact for it to count as a tackle.

I have serious doubts that you would be able to make contact with the ball, let alone put it fair territory and also outrun the throw to first

Odds are you would strike out by simply missing 3 bunts lol

I played baseball, I was the bunt king. Running to 1st would be the hardest part, but I would simply training beforehand and probably be able to do it.

You could start with your arms around him

its not happening

No one is bringing down Henry, lmfao. Henry + hard cup = unstoppable force.

wait a sec, is goaltending considered fouling him? If not I'd just get some kinda long net or something and hold it in front of the basket

I can def do the baseball one.

Can't believe the people choosing baseball over basketball, lol... Not sure if trolling.

Can't believe the people choosing baseball over basketball, lol... Not sure if trolling.

Ohtani aint that great tbh

Read it again. The football one isn't tacking. You just have to make contact, i.e., touch him.

I played football in HS and gladly rode the bench after getting laid the fuck out by another DB in practice. Got hit so hard I couldn't see out of my right eye for like a minute and mentally called it quits there.

The dude who hit me was roughly the same build as me back then which was 5'10 and 165 in the best shape of my life. I would probably die if Derrick Henry was trying to run through me

Just gotta be like water and use his momentum against him. I've never done it, but it doesn't sound too difficult to me.

If its just the two of you on the field, theres zero chance youd even be able to catch up to him, let alone catch up, and stop his momentum enough for him to fall.

preventing a 3 point shot is the only one that doesn't take actual skill on my part. i could BASEketball him and say something strange, or try to sneeze.

I kinda feel like your best bet would just be jumping around him like crazy screeching as loud as you can

the distraction strat

As long as you do not foul him