Current Events > A universe identical to ours, but every fart has a chance to put you in space.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Say like a 0.0000000001% chance.

You'll occasionally see individuals just get launched straight up into the sky, with enough force to put them through whatever might be in the way.

You might be that individual.

Ahh id be fine. Such a low chance I never get that lucky

It would be wild rocking your baby to sleep and then they suddenly take off into orbit, ripping a hole through you like a Ridley Scott Alien.

Imagine those odds biting you in the ass if you come down with a case of explosive diarrhea. Dozens of farts in quick, liquidy succession.

What if it happens while you're already in space?

opopopza posted...

It would be wild rocking your baby to sleep and then they suddenly take off into orbit, ripping a hole through you like a Ridley Scott Alien.

Do babies ever fart in the womb?

This could get messy.

I would go out in style. At some point Ill draw the unlucky one and gas the neighborhood.

tried counting the zeros. Not sure I did it right. 1/10 Billion?

lucariopikmin posted...

What if it happens while you're already in space?

You ascend to godhood.

lucariopikmin posted...

What if it happens while you're already in space?

Then you go to deep space.

Heartomaton posted...

@Trumble

In space, no one can hear you... Which would basically mean you've shut the fuck up. You should fart. ;)

Trumble posted...

In space, no one can hear you... Which would basically mean you've shut the fuck up. You should fart. ;)

You should fart.

Do it.

Now.

The real question is what happens if I launch a fart that should send me into space, but I'm lying on my belly?

Bishop_Hastur posted...

The real question is what happens if I launch a fart that should send me into space, but I'm lying on my belly?

It will push you across the floor and through everything in the way until you leave earth's atmosphere at different angle than usual, making your specific fart that much more rare.

statistically speaking
id be halfway to andromeda by now

I would only fart underneath soft stuff

Heartomaton posted...

It will push you across the floor and through everything in the way until you leave earth's atmosphere at different angle than usual, making your specific fart that much more rare.

Wouldn't only people on their backs go straight up?

Walkers would go off at an angle and by the rules provided a face-down person should blast through the entire planet like Superman.

DrizztLink posted...

Wouldn't only people on their backs go straight up?

Walkers would go off at an angle and by the rules provided a face-down person should blast through the entire planet like Superman.

Look up at diagram of the position of a human anus. It's angled more down towards earth, so a standing human would still go more up than out, and a person lying down would be more out.

I could post diagrams myself but, y'know... anus.

Heartomaton posted...

with enough force to put them through whatever might be in the way.

Ain't no skittering off the surface like a coward.

Planetbusting farts

Imagine the sound.

Heartomaton posted...

Look up at diagram of the position of a human anus. It's angled more down towards earth, so a standing human would still go more up than out, and a person lying down would be more out.

I could post diagrams myself but, y'know... anus.

What if you wrote a caption saying it's not an anus, but a made-up body part that simply resembles an anus?

Don't actually do this; mods can't read.

Trumble posted...

What if you wrote a caption saying it's not an anus, but a made-up body part that simply resembles an anus?

Don't actually do this; mods can't read.

Your face can't read.

Heartomaton posted...

Your face can't read.

Your uncle can't read.

Trumble posted...

Your uncle can't read.

Your anus can't read.

So wed probably have like what, 8 people a day worldwide getting launched into space?

Heartomaton posted...

Your anus can't read.

damn
prolly the best burn ive seen on the boards in 20 years