Current Events > Do you still get crushes on people?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Do you still get crushes?

Im not sure Ive ever had a crush in the way many people think of them.

Ive found people attractive, and Ive acted on that. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not, but Ive always found it easy to move on afterwards if it was just an infatuation of some sort.

Actual relationships are harder. They leave marks, but I dont think they count as crushes. For example, Im in a fairly new relationship and Im loving being with her but I wouldnt consider that a crush because were together.

No... Haven't had a crush since maybe highschool...

One because I don't really see the point anymore and two because I just don't interact with any women in my daily life... Really haven't since HS...

I had a huge one recently but I'm starting to get over her now tbh

Unless she says Hi again, den I'm fucked

Oh heck yeah I'm in the middle of one rn

MrMallard posted...

Yes - the heart wants what it wants, and I tend to develop feelings for others that I have a hard time acting on

This, and it sucks. I had developed a crush on a coworker before quitting that job. I knew I didn't have a chance, but she was so friendly, and nice, and always smiling at me. That tends to do it. I tend to develop crushes on people who are genuinely kind to me.

MrMallard posted...

No - I've been hurt so much in the past that I've accepted that I'll spend the rest of my life alone barring an absolute miracle

It's also this one. That's why it bothers me to develop a crush. I hate it.

Haven't had one since April 2021. I mean, that was a crush that lasted over a year, but it kinda withered and died when I realized what kinda person I actually was crushing on. First time I feel like disgust truly ended a crush for me personally.

Long gaps aren't too unusual though. I have had plenty of year/multiple-year-long gaps when it comes to having a crush. Tbh, I could see a world where I would develop a crush on a co-worker, but I have really just not let it happen, nor would I. I get too obsessed, and my mental health always deteriorates way too much. Honestly, I used to not want to be in a life where I wasn't married and stuff, but I think I finally no longer feel like another person would "complete" me. Still want a kid, but we'll cross that road when we get there tbh. There are plenty of worse lives than being single, though, and I think I'm starting to realize it's not all too bad.

You can probably tell by the volume and tone of the poll answers that I was expecting a more negative reaction to the idea of getting crushes. Like I do think this is something that most people leave behind as they get older and come into their own as people. I feel like crushes are a sign of being socially stunted, being unable to adapt to this ideal of independence and maturity that comes with being an adult - said as someone typing this on a video game message board well into his twenties, to other twenty/thirty-somethings who also use the boards.

That being said, I made this topic because I'm having a bit of a crisis - I'm crushing on someone I know who's way out of my league, which has never not ended in disaster.

I relate to you guys who feel negatively about crushes, because yeah it gets in the way of everything and it has a real chance of impacting the different relationships in your life. When I find the person who thought of crushes as a concept, I'm putting together a hit squad of CEmen to go covert and teach that son of a bitch a lesson in pain.

I'm gonna let this sleeping dog lie, but as good as it can feel to have a crush, it fucking sucks having to then temper those feelings because you know nothing's gonna come of it. I've ruined enough relationships with this dumb, immature shit. I don't want it to happen again.

Crushes remind you that you're alive, in the way that pain reminds you that you're alive. I'm glad I'm finally past all that... I hope.

Nah that's cringe

I sometimes see cute girls and I just want to hold hands with them

Of course

Anything that would make me want to date someone is a crush imo.

Nope. I've experienced some very strong attraction to women I've met, but I shoot my shot. I spent too much of my school years wondering "what if" that now I'd rather have an answer, even if it's a no.

Hell yeah

Did I ever tell you about my current crush?

I feel you about the whole "she's out of my league and I don't want to act on it" thing though. I feel similarly about mine

teep_ posted...

Hell yeah

Did I ever tell you about my current crush?

I feel you about the whole "she's out of my league and I don't want to act on it" thing though. I feel similarly about mine

hey man, go ahead

I haven't had a crush since my 20s, and that was a long time ago.

No.

Even in a committed relations, I'll still find people attractive. That never goes away.

But when I think "crush" I think of someone you're not with, but can't keep your mind off of. I don't think I've had one of those since high school.

Ive had crushes on 2 of my mental health workers in the past I ofc would never have told them cos its a job for them and they are 1.5x my age. But they were genuinely caring people and I respect them and their job given the hardships of people bashing them (both told me that they get disrespected by some people in their work themselves I never did though)

You can have a crush on someone as an adult while acknowledging the futility of pursing it. You ultimately can't control who you fall for.

Sometimes that can be as simple as "What a wonderful woman... but she's already happily married so don't try anything".

Yeah. All the time.