Current Events > Another thing gen z and millennials do, eyes on their phone while talking

(+) Yeah! (+)

Either talking with other people, friends and colleagues, etc. I've talked to people who are just scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, whatever social media of the day. I usually just take the hint they don't feel like chatting and want to be left alone so I go, but then they're like "hey where are you going" all shocked and I'm like what.

Even when I see them talking to each other's friends, they can be deep in a conversation and then just glued to their phones in the same breath with ahas and nods

I dunno, when I'm talking with someone I'm engaged in conversation and give them my full attention, the phone is for when I'm browsing on my own time

Whatever, old man.

ever since I became addicted to the internet Ive had attention span issues, ngl. If Im not actively talking with someone I will default back to my phone but not really when I am actively talking to someone

why should they give you their full attention when the internet is available and has much more interesting things to look at

I see the light

Multitasking can be difficult for some people, its ok, TC.

Silly TC. Everyone knows it's the earphones in that indicates the conversation is over.

I only stay on my phone when my mom is rambling on about some story of her past. She tends to tell stories like she's writing a very descriptive novel including tons or irrelevant information. I just keep my ears perked for the relevant relationship. Often times it's a story she's told before too. Which I'm also bad about doing. With other people I might respond to a text real quick and put the phone back down. Depends on if it's something I can respond to in like 3 words or less.

I'm a millennial but I have some old-school values habits etc. As soon as smart phones became common place. My mom was adamant no one would have them out at her dinner table. Dinner was mandatory family time

Bruh, Im on my phone rn

rexcrk posted...

Multitasking can be difficult for some people, its ok, TC.

Many people think they can multitask while in fact, they can't. Also, in terms of what TC described, it's rude behaviour.

I think TC (and others) have a point that more and more people have growing attention span issues.
First I'd like to state that this isn't only a matter of generations. Also, it should be noted, that not everyone has the issues I mentioned. I try to avoid making generalizations in most cases.

However, during the last 3-4 years, I noticed a decreasing attention span among younger employees at our company as well. Some of them weren't even able to listen to a mere 30 minutes presentation without getting distracted (and no, the presentation was good & encouraging for participating). The thing is, in order to do their work well, they have to learn a thing or two first. They can't expect to be promoted or getting higher salaries when they're not devoting themselves at list a little bit to the work they choose to do.

As I said, not all are like this, luckily. We had a few brillant young employees as well.

Noumas posted...

I usually just take the hint they don't feel like chatting and want to be left alone so I go, but then they're like "hey where are you going" all shocked and I'm like what.

TC out here abruptly leaving conversations without warning lol.

At least tell them You seem busy. Ill see you. before walking off.

gu-gohan posted...

Many people think they can multitask while in fact, they can't. Also, in terms of what TC described, it's rude behaviour

I'm so so I guess. I ocassionaly have to ask my mom to repeat herself (refer to my original post) but that means I heard something that actually sounded relevant.

Ironically this is the same generation that is too petrified to pick up the phone and make a phone call

This is definitely not just a gen z/millennial thing, I've seen plenty of older people do this too

This has always been one of my biggest pet peeves, but then again I don't really use my phone much

like, my average time to respond to a text message is 3 days >_>

I feel like Gen X is the last true generation that can afford to pay attention.

where else am I supposed to look when talking to people

No one has ever made this observation before

You're right though I do think it's lame

I'm not gonna be staring at my phone on a date, but like, my roommate telling me about his job really doesn't need my full attention.

SamsungGearS2 posted...

I feel like Gen X is the last true generation that can afford to pay attention.

You are not wrong.

I only do this with people who I'd rather not be talking to. If I actually enjoy someone's company I always put the phone away.

Gwynevere posted...

This is definitely not just a gen z/millennial thing, I've seen plenty of older people do this too

Yeah, it's just an indicator of eye contact etiquette.

there are plenty of people who just avoid contact either by looking at their smart device or even funnier, the people who straight up stare anywhere but at you, during conversation. Must be anxiety or something.

Trickfinger posted...

Yeah, it's just an indicator of eye contact etiquette.

what exactly is eye contact etiquette to you

personally I feel like making direct eye contact with someone is rude(?) and very uncomfortable, I would rather people face completely thee opposite direction to me or have their eyes closed when talking or basically anything else

Eye contact as a sign of "respect" and "engagement" is an outdated and ableist viewpoint.

I love how the last three posts are all saying completely different things about what you should do with eye contact lol.

Eye contact is a threat or a challenge. Pull out your beating stick.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

There are many disorders, disabilities, and conditions that make making or maintaining eye contact incredibly hard or uncomfortable.
This idea that someone not making eye contact with you is "disrespectful" or "insulting" is simply a power trip.

"I'm so important that you looking me in the eye is more important than you being comfortable."

It's yet another thing from the pre-2000s that needs to go away.

to be fair, I try to multitask too. but if I'm not making any eye contact or engaging in the conversation...

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Maybe in a professional setting sure.
At work you should be focused on work.

But I'm not going to sit there and say that someone on the ASD spectrum shouldn't utilize their coping mechanism of choice (be it a book, social media, music at low volumes, whatever) just so that I can feel like I'm important.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I'm sorry that my views on respect don't involve some sort of outdated power play?
If someone needs a coping mechanism and to stim, what right do I have to demand that they do something uncomfortable instead?
I'm not gonna be that guy that makes a scene at a family gathering because "hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you."

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Yeah, your takes here are a joke.

How did we get ableism out of thinking it's rude to look at your phone during a conversation? Do you realize that autism predates smartphones

Not making eye contact is a sign of weakness imo. Like I'm not gonna make a big deal about it. I'll just silently make a note to myself that that person has confidence issues.

HovaRex posted...

Not making eye contact is a sign of weakness imo. Like I'm not gonna make a big deal about it. I'll just silently make a note to myself that that person has confidence issues.

Yup.

I look people in the eye because I was taught to but I def don't like it. It's not necessarily about confidence, it just feels gross sometimes. Especially if they're really ugly. One in three people are ugly you know.

meestermj posted...

I'm sorry that my views on respect don't involve some sort of outdated power play?
If someone needs a coping mechanism and to stim, what right do I have to demand that they do something uncomfortable instead?
I'm not gonna be that guy that makes a scene at a family gathering because "hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Yeah you're spot on. there's lots of neurodivergent people that have issues with eye contact. If you've gotta do it for an interview or something then whatever, but I'm not gonna throw shade on someone for not wanting to make eye contact with me because I'm not an ignorant asshole. It's not that serious

Eye contact can also be a cultural thing - in Western cultures it's usually considered to be rude to not make eye contact, but that's not the case everywhere.

Trickfinger posted...

Yeah, it's just an indicator of eye contact etiquette.

there are plenty of people who just avoid contact either by looking at their smart device or even funnier, the people who straight up stare anywhere but at you, during conversation. Must be anxiety or something.

I make eye contact talking but it's brief. 4 to 5 seconds look around then back to eye contact. Rinse and repeat. Too long and it just feels awkward

meestermj posted...

There are many disorders, disabilities, and conditions that make making or maintaining eye contact incredibly hard or uncomfortable.
This idea that someone not making eye contact with you is "disrespectful" or "insulting" is simply a power trip.

"I'm so important that you looking me in the eye is more important than you being comfortable."

It's yet another thing from the pre-2000s that needs to go away.

I feel eye contact is important kinda if you are say a boss and lecturing/chewing out a worker. Makes me feel you mean what you say and ain't just saying it cause your job to

Same with general "we need to talk" type convos that people hate being on the receiving end of

It's not my fault you don't have anything else to do than stare at people while talking with them