Poll of the Day > my ex texted me that she misses me lol

(+) Yeah! (+)

i did not reply

Good idea

Isn't this sexism?

Twiroach posted...

Isn't this sexism?

?

based on what I know that seems like the best response.

funny enough, I just messaged my ex telling her I miss her, but were still close friends and have both moved on from the relationship

Send her a pic of a hot guy.

Send her a pic of your butthole

JigsawTDCII posted...

based on what I know that seems like the best response.

funny enough, I just messaged my ex telling her I miss her, but were still close friends and have both moved on from the relationship

I'm pretty sure one of these statements contradicts the other.

Dang TC got that BDE. She thirsting

Cruddy_horse posted...

I'm pretty sure one of these statements contradicts the other.

how so? Different people have different situations, and I think in DBSs case it it healthier to ignore a message like that. In my case, were still close friends who have had relationships with others since. Youve never missed your friends before or told them as such?

Whats it like to have been in a relationship where the girl actually misses you? lol every girl Ive ever dated couldnt stand me after a few months maximum

rexcrk posted...

Whats it like to have been in a relationship where the girl actually misses you? lol every girl Ive ever dated couldnt stand me after a few months maximum

Why would you tell on yourself like this

Id talk to her. Youve posted you miss her too, this could be your shot to save it.

Not saying it wont end terribly, but if you want to try again with her this is probably the best opportunity.

Mensis posted...

Id talk to her. Youve posted you miss her too, this could be your shot to save it.

Not saying it wont end terribly, but if you want to try again with her this is probably the best opportunity.

That's usually a terrible idea.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

That's usually a terrible idea.

its a risk vs reward situation. Hell do what he wants either way.

Mensis posted...

its a risk vs reward situation. Hell do what he wants either way.

Yeah, but it's also a judgment versus impulse situation.

Once people break up, they tend to over-romanticize the good times out of nostalgia and because they miss the dopamine hit from being together, while forgetting about all the things that led to break them up in the first place. So they go into it thinking "Oh, well this time it will be different", but it's almost never different. All of the reasons why you broke up in the first place will still be right there, sitting like landmines, waiting to blow up in your face all over again. And then you'll break up again, be miserable again, and probably stupidly want to get back together again.

Constantly chasing after old failed relationships is a pretty good formula for never being able to move on and actually develop new, worthwhile relationships. It's not a healthy mindset, and it will almost never pan out for you in a positive way. Just because you've idealized a relationship after the fact doesn't mean it was "meant to be" or you're somehow obligated to spend the rest of your life trying to recapture it or fix it. Not letting go is the thing that makes you miserable, not the mere absence of that specific relationship.

And there are other negatives involved when you're coming back into a relationship that has already broken (depending on the specific people involved). Short of a relationship that broke up entirely due to causes beyond the control of either person (like, say, both people have jobs/college halfway across the country and they decided they couldn't make a long-distance relationship work, but now circumstances have changed and they can get together again), you are almost ALWAYS better off not getting hung up on past failures. Move on. Be happy.

Jen0125 posted...

Why would you tell on yourself like this

I got nothing to hide. Also, venting.

Yes that is all very simple stuff you posted there, but there is really no real harm in at least have a conversation with the girl. yes you leave yourself vulnerable to be hurt again but if approached with the right attitude it can add clarity and help him move on if he decides there isnt anything there.

Perhaps she realizes she made a mistake and they can move on stronger, shutting the door to her invitation just closes you off from any possibility other than not being with her.

rexcrk posted...

I got nothing to hide. Also, venting.

Genuine question, have you tried therapy?

Now that you're single you can spend more time playing The Last of Us Part I

ParanoidObsessive posted...

Yeah, but it's also a judgment versus impulse situation.

Once people break up, they tend to over-romanticize the good times out of nostalgia and because they miss the dopamine hit from being together, while forgetting about all the things that led to break them up in the first place. So they go into it thinking "Oh, well this time it will be different", but it's almost never different. All of the reasons why you broke up in the first place will still be right there, sitting like landmines, waiting to blow up in your face all over again. And then you'll break up again, be miserable again, and probably stupidly want to get back together again.

Constantly chasing after old failed relationships is a pretty good formula for never being able to move on and actually develop new, worthwhile relationships. It's not a healthy mindset, and it will almost never pan out for you in a positive way. Just because you've idealized a relationship after the fact doesn't mean it was "meant to be" or you're somehow obligated to spend the rest of your life trying to recapture it or fix it. Not letting go is the thing that makes you miserable, not the mere absence of that specific relationship.

And there are other negatives involved when you're coming back into a relationship that has already broken (depending on the specific people involved). Short of a relationship that broke up entirely due to causes beyond the control of either person (like, say, both people have jobs/college halfway across the country and they decided they couldn't make a long-distance relationship work, but now circumstances have changed and they can get together again), you are almost ALWAYS better off not getting hung up on past failures. Move on. Be happy.

Pretty much. Unless you know for a fact that whatever issues led to the breakup in the first place have been resolved (which is really only possible if the issue is something objectively measurable or entirely on your end), you're almost certainly going to be better off not trying to rekindle things.

Mensis posted...

Id talk to her. Youve posted you miss her too, this could be your shot to save it.

Not saying it wont end terribly, but if you want to try again with her this is probably the best opportunity.

Terrible advice. That foundation has already been cracked/severe. The leak will only get worse over time. Find a real love with a stable foundation and itll last a life time.

Besides TC has BDE. No need to chase. The ladies will chase him.

Jen0125 posted...

Genuine question, have you tried therapy?

Have you tried being less judgy? At least this person is self honest.

Lil_Bit83 posted...

Have you tried being less judgy? At least this person is self honest.

How is what I said judgy? Lmao if you have an aversion to therapy that is your own problem. If someone recognizes they can't maintain healthy romantic relationships it isn't judgy to ask if they've considered therapy.

Jen0125 posted...

How is what I said judgy? Lmao if you have an aversion to therapy that is your own problem. If someone recognizes they can't maintain healthy romantic relationships it isn't judgy to ask if they've considered therapy.

Because you came off quite condescending and snippy.

Not everyone has the best of luck with relationships.

I personally can respect someone who's honest about themself.

she asked if you had thought about therapy, thats it. you taking it their personally says more about you than it does her lol

DirtBasedSoap posted...

she asked if you had thought about therapy, thats it. you taking it their personally says more about you than it does her lol

I was in defense of someone else she was ragging on for no good reason. That says something about your reading comprehension skills.

At any rate, I dunno about your situation with your ex. If it turned bad and it displeased you to hear from her, I'm sorry to hear it.

dude straight up said every gf hes had cant stand him after a few months. That sounds like a him problem and something he personally needs to work out. Therapy can help facilitate that. You taking it is an insult when it was just a genuine suggestion is bizarre bro

Lil_Bit83 posted...

I was in defense of someone else she was ragging on for no good reason. That says something about your reading comprehension skills.

You're coming off as quite condescending and snippy.

Why did she break up with you, again? I remember that was really hard on you.

JigsawTDCII posted...

dude straight up said every gf hes had cant stand him after a few months. That sounds like a him problem and something he personally needs to work out. Therapy can help facilitate that. You taking it is an insult when it was just a genuine suggestion is bizarre bro

Right? Therapy isn't an insult it's a tool.

Lil_Bit83 posted...

Because you came off quite condescending and snippy.

You're the only one being snippy here lol

People are sensitive about their mental health, especially if they are being called on an issue they arent ready to approach themselves. Really not that hard to understand guys.

Mensis posted...

People are sensitive about their mental health, especially if they are being called on an issue they arent ready to approach themselves. Really not that hard to understand guys.

Well good thing no one even approached lilbit and he's taking it upon himself to upset himself

Mensis posted...

People are sensitive about their mental health, especially if they are being called on an issue they arent ready to approach themselves. Really not that hard to understand guys.

he wasnt even the one the therapy comment was directed at tho

Millenials will spend hundreds of dollars a week whining to a therapist for two hours and then wonder why they got no time, money or love.

You don't need therapy, you just need to find a partner with lower expectations and settle.

Twiroach posted...

Millenials will spend hundreds of dollars a week whining to a therapist for two hours and then wonder why they got no time, money or love.

You don't need therapy, you just need to find a partner with lower expectations and settle.

Boomer posting

Twiroach posted...

Millenials will spend hundreds of dollars a week whining to a therapist for two hours and then wonder why they got no time, money or love.

You don't need therapy, you just need to find a partner with lower expectations and settle.

what the fuck are you talking about

so there is this other girl Ive been hanging out with and we both really like each other but i dont really think i want to date anyone right now. relationships are a lot of work and take up so much time

and if Im working all the time and spending a bunch of time with a partner then how am i supposed to get drunk and fuck people up in Star Wars battlefront II

Should spend at least 6 months to a year on your own imo. Unless you meet someone super special. It's always good to have a period of self time after a long relationship.

Twiroach posted...

You don't need therapy, you just need to find a partner with lower expectations and settle.

While I agree therapy isn't the answer for some folk I don't agree someone should lower their standards because chances are they will be very miserable in a relationship they have no interest in.

https://youtu.be/GU4NWj3sDzk

this video really helped me out in the last month or so