Current Events > My ex tried to commit suicide in our apartment.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ive promised him not to tell anyone, except one of my closest friends who was with me when I got the call, but I need to vent so to CE I go.

He broke up with me four weeks ago. He seemed very sure of his decision. He had fallen out of love.

We live together for about 10 more days and weve been trying to take turns going away to friends. So I was in a different city when he slit his wrists in our shower a couple days ago. Apparently he started having second thoughts and we live close to the hospital so the ambulance made it in time.

Now he is with his parents after getting discharged.

It feels like I dont know him anymore. Why the fuck did he do this to himself, to his family, to his friends and also to me?

There is still dried blood between the floor tiles in our shower. I had to bring a friend with me to be able to go home. Going in there alone was too much.

I dunno. I just had to vent.

that's really heavy...

I'm really sorry to hear.

hopefully this is his waking up moment, where he gets whatever help he might need.

He has some deep problems and demons....hopefully he can get some help.
Sorry you're going through it, remember it's not your fault.

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Some people just can't cope with society's demands. It's not their fault.

Like, I suspect that's what happened anyway.

Does he have any underlying mental health issues? Any additional stressors like maybe he was about to lose his job or something? It's sort of bizarre trying to imagine someone randomly deciding to commit suicide. There is usually a reason.

Sorry to hear about that hopefully the next step is for him to seek therapy. Definitely confide in your friends or a professional yourself if needed.

darkmaian23 posted...

Any additional stressors like maybe he was about to lose his job or something?

this. there has to be a reason. one can only handle so much in those circumstances where just one more thing overwhelms the person to do horrible things to self.

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I don't agree. I've been there a lot, and I still am sometimes.

Like it's definitely a mental health issue, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're always of an irrational mind, just when you're having episodes...particularly extreme ones.

For example, would you tell a terminally ill patient that their desire to be euthanized is irrational? I think you'd have a difficult case with that one.

I think you're extrapolating too much.

Holy shit. I'm so sorry man. I hope he recovers. And I hope you're ok!

First things first, you are not to blame.

Second , acting out is your brain crying for help. He could've done it for any reason, chemical imbalances causing depression, sudden change in lifestyle that gave him overwhelming anxiety, who knows... But its nothing to concern you now, that may sound heartless but trust the fact that nothing good comes from stirring emotions with someone mentally unstable.

Lastly, take a drink and get some rest. These are those things nobody can prep you for, but simple rest works wonders when the brain gets an overload.

bladegash posted...

lastly, take a drink and get some rest.

Non-alcoholic, I hope?

LinkFanatic posted...

Non-alcoholic, I hope?

... Well personally, I wouldn't be able to sleep after that kindve event without some sort of sedation. But yea, it was more an expression than a recommendation

bladegash posted...

... well personally, i wouldn't be able to sleep after that kindve event without some sort of sedation

Same, except my go-to would be weed. Alcohol fucks me up and there's plenty of research backing that up, which is why I was like "Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up a minute." :)

LinkFanatic posted...

I don't agree. I've been there a lot, and I still am sometimes.

Like it's definitely a mental health issue, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're always of an irrational mind, just when you're having episodes...particularly extreme ones.

For example, would you tell a terminally ill patient that their desire to be euthanized is irrational? I think you'd have a difficult case with that one.

I think you're extrapolating too much.

I'll add to this by saying that whether it's rational or not is irrelevant anyway. Suicide should be legal everywhere, and society should never try to force a person to live "just because." You don't know what their lives are like or what is pushing them to do this; they know themselves better than anyone else, so I don't think it's really fair for us to tell someone to keep living if they've decided that they really wanna die.

Not saying to encourage it, though. I've done that before and got burned...and that was after this chick told me she wanted to die.

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There's an anime about this but I forget what it's called

It's very hammy

Sorry probably the wrong topic to talk about anime.

I hope that your ex is going to be okay TC, and you as well

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Which ones?

I'm so sorry. I hope he feels better soon. How are you holding up?

In no way, shape, or form are you to blame for this

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Why should the law involve itself in any of that?

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Fair.

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No, but do we need to be?

LinkFanatic posted...

I'll add to this by saying that whether it's rational or not is irrelevant anyway. Suicide should be legal everywhere, and society should never try to force a person to live "just because." You don't know what their lives are like or what is pushing them to do this; they know themselves better than anyone else, so I don't think it's really fair for us to tell someone to keep living if they've decided that they really wanna die.

I mull on this point quite a bit but I don't really like talking about it.

Thank you for the comments and thoughts people

What Ive learned from this is that hes a much better actor than I thought. I didnt see the break up coming and I certainly didnt see his suicide attempt coming.

He must be dealing with some sort of internal crisis he hasnt let anyone know about or see. Because he is the winner in this break up, at least on paper. He broke up with me a little over a month before were set to move to a new city together. His new job pays him twice as much as his old one, for the same tasks and level of responsibility while Im getting a small raise. The apartment we were gonna live in was fixed by his new job so I essentially had homelessness ahead of me, but Ive managed to find a good apartment (from November) and will stay with friends for the two months leading up to that. So he seemed set to have it all.

Maybe guilt set him down a mental health spiral? I dunno. But for him to do this, he clearly was in a position where he wasnt sane. He is such a fun-loving person usually.

It also show that material stuff isnt enough to rely on if you lose your grip mentally. You cant judge someones inner happiness based on how well off they seem with a new posh job and new nice apartment for example.

It sounds like he had issues but thought they would go away if he achieved some of his goals. But then he did and got to the place of "I have all of these things but I still feel unhappy". So then he chose to end his life.

I'm sorry TC :(

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i dont agree either. like they say in DeathNote: "every human has the potential for suicide."

He is coming home for two days next week, before his parents take him back to theirs. Were gonna continue dividing up stuff between us and packing ahead of the move.

I just dont know how to talk to him when he arrives. I mean, we will have to acknowledge what he did. Anything else would be beyond wacky.

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And that more to it in this case is non of our business.

not to be cold on purpose, but he'll tell you if he wants to. and knowing why he did it ultimately doesn't do anything if he doesn't want you in his life anymore

spikethedevil posted...

and that more to it in this case is non of our business.

I...don't think he was remotely saying that it is.

Fair enough and my bad.

spikethedevil posted...

Fair enough and my bad.

<3

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Yes, thank you. It is good to hear things from someone else. Confirm youre on the right track.

Akagami_Shanks posted...

not to be cold on purpose, but he'll tell you if he wants to. and knowing why he did it ultimately doesn't do anything if he doesn't want you in his life anymore

You raise a very fair point. The issue is that we have a ton of mutual friends and acquaintances, which is how we met. So we will run into each other even after moving apart. And he expect me to lie for him to those people. So I need to try to understand.

Ive learned that he binged The Sandman on Netflix just before he slit his wrists.

I dont blame the show per se, but there are elements of self harm and suicide in the same fashion in the show. So his bleak state of mind probably was inspired :/

BalanceLost posted...

Ive learned that he binged The Sandman on Netflix just before he slit his wrists.

I dont blame the show per se, but there are elements of self harm and suicide in the same fashion in the show. So his bleak state of mind probably was inspired :/

Hope he gets a healthy dose of seratonin. How you holding up now that its been a couple of days?

bladegash posted...

Hope he gets a healthy dose of seratonin. How you holding up now that its been a couple of days?

I hope so too. I hope he has been prescribed medication. At least for an initial period of time.

Im doing okay, thank you for asking It just feels odd and a bit uneasy being in this apartment. It no longer feels like home. My stuff is here but the apartment itself feels haunted. My daily shower is thankfully removing some of the blood from the floor each day. His family did a great job of cleaning but blood can stick. Im moving out next Monday (not the Monday in two days but the one in 9). He is also not gonna live here anymore. Im removing myself from the contract and he is gonna rent it to a friend of his in need of a place to stay.

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Im watching it now and it says 18+ and lists self harm, suicide and a couple other reasons at the start of the episodes. But yeah, he probably didnt care or didnt actively register. He must have been quite far down the mental anguish rabbit hole already when he started watching :(

This sounds horrible.

It is absolutely bizarre. Now it is more brown than red at least. Talking about it is a way for me to cope. My friend who came with me when I first came home a couple days ago couldnt use the shower. It was too much for him and I dont blame him one bit.