Current Events > Could you date a girl who says she would not date a bisexual ?

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gunplagirl
08/05/22 7:02:52 AM
#51:


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Philip027
08/05/22 8:06:09 AM
#52:


No dating preference is a deal breaker for me.

The way I see it, people can have any preference they want when it comes to choosing partners, even if it's a preference that doesn't make any sense to me, so long as they aren't being a dick about it. No one is ever obligated to "give you a chance" for any reason. I'm asexual, and I am well aware of the fact that many people would not want to date me for that reason. That's just the way it is.

Dating/relationship world is not the same thing as the employment/business world, nor should they be treated the same way.
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Guns_of_Verdun
08/05/22 8:21:00 AM
#53:


Gwynevere posted...
Given that I actually turned out to be bi and my wife is pan,
Stupid question here but what's the difference between pan and bi?

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MedeaLysistrata
08/05/22 8:25:41 AM
#54:


Guns_of_Verdun posted...
Stupid question here but what's the difference between pan and bi?
I kind of consider myself pan tbh. there are guys I wouldn't mind being intimate with, but I'm not attracted to guys so it's in spite of physical attraction and it's on a very individual basis. I don't think that is the definition for pan altogether though.

Bi/straight/gay usually means attracted to a gender/sex. Pan is not quite that but I'm not going to give a definition.

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cuttin_in_farm
08/05/22 8:33:51 AM
#55:


I think the distinction here is that people can be degrees of bigotry. Or having bad views.

Not dating Bi guys is pretty low on the list of bigotry for someone who isnt Bi. And if shes dating me, I really dont see how that affects anything ever.

Unless she treats gay guys and Bi guys differently, who cares?

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Esrac
08/05/22 9:12:19 AM
#56:


Yes. I'm not bisexual, so it's irrelevant to me.
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#57
Post #57 was unavailable or deleted.
ThePrinceFish
08/05/22 1:02:48 PM
#58:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

The mockery of some random internet clown would sting if I had trouble with women.

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Robot2600
08/05/22 11:37:18 PM
#59:


jfc

u people wouldn't date a racist but youre okay with a biphobe.

thanks, CE.

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Robot2600
08/05/22 11:39:44 PM
#60:


really this place is awesome

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Umbreon
08/05/22 11:46:37 PM
#61:


There's at least a few users who would date a racist so long as they are hot enough and they're not racist towards them.

So I'm not too surprised with the poll results here. Disappointed, but not surprised.

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Guns_of_Verdun
08/07/22 2:06:47 PM
#62:


Umbreon posted...
There's at least a few users who would date a racist so
Make that topic and we can compare

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itachi15243
08/07/22 2:09:55 PM
#63:


Yeah

No idea what she has against bi people specifically but it must be something to single them out and specifically hate them?

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Philip027
08/07/22 6:40:58 PM
#64:


Robot2600 posted...
jfc

u people wouldn't date a racist but youre okay with a biphobe.

thanks, CE.

I don't equate not wanting to date X with being a X-phobe. Like I said, people can elect not to date whoever they want for any reason they want, and to suggest otherwise is actually really fucking entitled and gross. Nobody ever owes you a date.

Being a X-phobe is taking that to the level of outright fear or hatred. Heterosexual guys aren't called "homophobes" just because they don't want to date other guys. Obviously, this doesn't necessarily mean they fear or hate other guys. They just don't fall within their dating preference.

Guns_of_Verdun posted...
Stupid question here but what's the difference between pan and bi?

Practically speaking, I wouldn't say there's a significant difference. Pan- is just acknowledging the existence of genders outside the man/woman binary and saying they don't necessarily care which one you are in terms of being in a relationship, but bi- people generally won't care either. Bisexual is also a more generally recognized term, so some people might use it for that reason even if they would technically be pan-.
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Robot2600
08/07/22 6:52:38 PM
#65:


pan is not JUST that. people are not using the same language at all for bi and pan right now. You have tons of different ppl using the terms to mean things specific to them.

bisexual doesn't imply shit about a person's views on gender, it's the historical term and it's a word.

Philip027 posted...
I don't equate not wanting to date X with being a X-phobe. Like I said, people can elect not to date whoever they want for any reason they want, and to suggest otherwise is actually really fucking entitled and gross. Nobody ever owes you a date.

Being a X-phobe is taking that to the level of outright fear or hatred. Heterosexual guys aren't called "homophobes" just because they don't want to date other guys. Obviously, this doesn't necessarily mean they fear or hate other guys. They just don't fall within their dating preference.

Not dating a black person out of principle makes you a racist and not dating someone who is bi+ out of principle is fucking biphobic.

Justify it to yourself, do w/e you have to do.

To equate being bi with being gay is such a bad faith pile of garbage. No one literally ever said straight men have to date men, or that anyone has to date anyone.

Bisexual people don't even have to date both genders. Maybe you fuck both and only date one.

Your partner being bisexual has literally no effect on you in any case.

If a straight guy dumped a girl because she was bi, that too would be biphobic. It happened to a friend of mine actually. Her older (20+ years older) than her boyfriend threw her out of his house when she told him. Took her laptop, her car, etc.

He was turned on by it even, and they had crazy sex the night before he kicked her out.

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Philip027
08/07/22 7:32:10 PM
#66:


It really is "just that". Don't overthink it too much.

Robot2600 posted...
Not dating a black person out of principle makes you a racist and not dating someone who is bi+ out of principle is fucking biphobic.

OK. I don't agree, and by that line of thinking a whole lot of people are "phobic" to something. I tend to think that the term is overused to the point It's difficult to take such claims seriously.

Robot2600 posted...
No one literally ever said straight men have to date men, or that anyone has to date anyone.

Why not? It's literally the argument people are trying to make when they say "if you won't date X person you're a X-phobe". In almost all cases, it's someone attempting to vilify someone else for turning them down, which that someone else has every right to do.

News flash, nobody owes you a date or a relationship. Get over yourself.
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Solid_Snake07
08/07/22 7:40:29 PM
#67:


Im not bisexual, so I guess so

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bladegash
08/07/22 7:50:03 PM
#68:


are 3somes still on the table?

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KaZooo
08/07/22 8:03:24 PM
#69:


Guns_of_Verdun posted...
She says she has nothing against them but she doesn't want to date them.
We look at this state very carefully. Apparently some people want to say she's got a straight up phobia.

She doesn't want to date a bi person.
There's nothing wrong with dating preference assuming the "nothing against them" stance is absolute. She doesn't hate them or mean will ill. She might have bi friends and all. Just wouldn't date them. She also wouldn't date just any straight guy either all the same.

What happened to Ross early during Friends can actually happen irl. I had a friend who was very in-between and that put him in a tough spot with his girlfriend as she couldn't tell what he actually wanted and if her staying was being more of a hinderance to him.

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Robot2600
08/07/22 8:08:42 PM
#70:


putting words in my mouth, im so fucking done with this topic

no one ever fucking said anyone had to date anyone. you fucking made that up and then started saying everyone else was saying it.

the situation we are talking about is someone dumps someone specifically because they are bi. dumping someone because they are bi is bigotry.

you can't hide behind "it's just dating preferences" because why, may I ask, would you be against it? and to answer that question you'd actually have to have some explicit bigotry ("they would cheat on me!") fall out of your mouth.

and since you want to insist this shit isn't biphobic:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biphobia

Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as individuals. It is a form of homophobia against those in the bisexual community. It can take the form of denial that bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation, or of negative stereotypes about people who are bisexual (such as the beliefs that they are promiscuous or dishonest). Other forms of biphobia include bisexual erasure.

So yes, it is biphobic to not date a bisexual person because they are bisexual. Again, again, again not saying you MUST date a bi person or any fucking nonsense like that. Im saying, if you're dating a person, you find out they are bi and because of that you dump them, then you're biphobic. You aren't biphobic for dumping them, but you are if that is the reason that you dump them.

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Chet_Hanks
08/07/22 8:09:30 PM
#71:


No one should be forced to date someone they are not attracted to. Full stop.
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Guns_of_Verdun
08/08/22 5:47:06 AM
#72:


bladegash posted...
are 3somes still on the table?
Not with bisexuals

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spikethedevil
08/08/22 5:49:01 AM
#73:


ThePrinceFish posted...
I wouldn't date a woman with a history of dating or banging bisexual men.

WTF why? @ThePrinceFish

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Guns_of_Verdun
08/08/22 6:36:33 PM
#74:


^ I mean 66% of the board are saying they're cool with it so it's not surprising that some of them agree with her

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Big_Nabendu
08/08/22 6:37:54 PM
#75:


The perfect woman

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InTheEyesOfFire
08/08/22 6:43:53 PM
#76:


Flockaveli posted...
Gonna have to hear her reasoning first and it'll most likely be some stupid shit.


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Lorenzo_2003
08/08/22 6:55:28 PM
#77:


Robot2600 posted...
Her older (20+ years older) than her boyfriend threw her out of his house when she told him. Took her laptop, her car, etc.

He was turned on by it even, and they had crazy sex the night before he kicked her out.

Irrelevant anecdote.

She wasnt entitled to the other persons continued affection or financial support. Consent is still a thing and can be revoked anytime.


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MedeaLysistrata
08/08/22 10:12:10 PM
#78:


This was actually a plot on Insecure lol

Of course the character it involved is a woman who can't find the right guy

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uwnim
08/08/22 10:27:55 PM
#79:


I dont think I could date someone like that. It would not be healthy for me.

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dioxxys
08/08/22 10:32:38 PM
#80:


I hardly see how it matters this is someone I'm going to be in a long-term relationship with they're not going to get to date the other sex anyway so????
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Gremlynn
08/08/22 10:36:03 PM
#81:


My extensive collection of premium silicone sculptures would probably be a red flag to her.

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Guns_of_Verdun
08/09/22 4:06:12 AM
#82:


dioxxys posted...
I hardly see how it matters this is someone I'm going to be in a long-term relationship with they're not going to get to date the other sex anyway so????
By this logic, could you date a girl who wouldn't date specific races?

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GGuirao13
08/09/22 4:19:24 AM
#83:


She's not being prejudiced, so yes.

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Kimberly
08/09/22 4:28:11 AM
#84:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
That's one difference.

Ok, and? They're attracted to you, they're willing to date you. I'm assuming this is all stemming from a fear of infidelity, is it not? How is a concern about their sexual preference any different than a guy or a girl with a wandering eye for the opposite sex? Because literally why else would it matter that they also found the same sex attractive at some point?

Gobstoppers12 posted...
It's really not that serious.

Telling on yourself a bit, aren't you.

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FunkyCat
08/09/22 4:29:29 AM
#85:


Many on CE seem far too happy about their biphobia or indifference to someone else's.

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dioxxys
08/09/22 6:43:04 AM
#86:


Guns_of_Verdun posted...
By this logic, could you date a girl who wouldn't date specific races?
hmm good point

Neither seem to be something someone discloses upfront though, probably at that point I am just glad she was dating me.
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Irony
08/09/22 6:58:21 AM
#87:


Wow this topic is still a thing

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Philip027
08/09/22 7:01:16 AM
#88:


Robot2600 posted...
you can't hide behind "it's just dating preferences" because why, may I ask, would you be against it?

The reason doesn't matter. You aren't entitled to a reason anyway. Nobody needs to justify their not dating you.

So yes, it is biphobic to not date a bisexual person because they are bisexual.

By this logic, virtually everyone is "phobic" to something. Get outta here with that shit. You just want to vilify people.

This would be just as ridiculous as me saying people are "aphobic" because they won't date asexuals.
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cuttin_in_farm
08/09/22 7:05:30 AM
#89:


Real talk. Not wanting to date bi guys is rooted in homophobia. The guy is deemed lesser because of it.

We dont have to pretend its not.

I still wouldnt give a shit unless she has other discriminating tendencies. Because unlike the paragons of CE, I realize people come from different backgrounds and experiences.

So long as she isnt hateful or acts out against gay/bi guys, I dont give a shit since the scenario where her aversion could be revealed is negated by dating me.

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MedeaLysistrata
08/09/22 7:09:13 AM
#90:


Philip027 posted...
The reason doesn't matter. You aren't entitled to a reason anyway. Nobody needs to justify their not dating you.

By this logic, virtually everyone is "phobic" to something. Get outta here with that shit. You just want to vilify people.

This would be just as ridiculous as me saying people are "aphobic" because they won't date asexuals.
Smells like CE

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LordMarshal
08/09/22 7:12:58 AM
#91:


Shocking poll results. Absolutely shocking.

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DespondentDeity
08/09/22 7:22:59 AM
#92:


LordMarshal posted...
Shocking poll results. Absolutely shocking.

And on the board where more than half the respondents polled stated that they had been single their entire lives no less!

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famfam
08/09/22 7:23:30 AM
#93:


so some people are saying, if a woman said the following:

"I don't want to date gay or bi men", that's fine

but

"I don't want to date bi men", they are a bigot
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Irony
08/09/22 7:24:02 AM
#94:


LordMarshal posted...
Shocking poll results. Absolutely shocking.
I mean this board is the MAGA lite

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Guns_of_Verdun
08/09/22 7:39:25 AM
#95:


famfam posted...
, if a woman said the following:

"I don't want to date gay or bi men"


eeerr

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IMNOTRAGED
08/09/22 7:47:27 AM
#96:


PMarth2002 posted...
I'd be awfully tempted to tell her I'm bi if she said that, even though I'm not.


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famfam
08/09/22 9:08:32 AM
#97:


Guns_of_Verdun posted...
eeerr

oops, meant to say straight, same point though
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