Poll of the Day > Should I report my coworker for making antisemitic "jokes"??

(+) Yeah! (+)

Back in November, we had a small Thanksgiving party where many new coworkers were meeting each other for the first time. One of our coworkers is Jewish (who is actually super annoying but thats a story for another time, and its not because shes Jewish), and she mentioned this party was happening right around the beginning of Hanukkah and asked us if wed be interesting in doing a brief menorah lighting ceremony. We all agreed.

Come the day of the party, the menorah is already lit, and another coworker shows up very late and very drunk. Well call him Jake (aint never met a cool Jake in my life). The Jewish coworker had went outside for a private conversation and while she was gone, Jake began making a series of several antisemitic jokes. Starting with Whats this thing called? (referring to the menorah) A Krav Maga? escalating to Isnt this like, cultural appropriation, forcing this on us? and culminating in I dont like Judaism or Jewish people. He was also rude an aggressive to our only Black woman coworker at the party, repeatedly insulting a gift she had bought for the hosts house (which was triggered by me asking about said gift because I thought it was interesting, so I regret that). The host of the party directly confronted him about this, so he quickly finished his beer and left the party.

The next day I sent him a message saying if I sent an invite out to the group chat that it didnt include him, because he had made several people very uncomfortable and I didnt want to expose them to his outlook. He actually offered what seemed like a genuine and well-thought out apology, which in retrospect seems a little too perfect. He wanted to work things out and wanted to find time for us to meet. I was more than willing, because as I told him, I value counsel culture over cancel culture. And more importantly, the victim of his jokes was willing to hear him out if his apology was sincere. We were in communication for less than a week before things took a 180 out of nowhere and he suddenly ghosted me (and the party host who he was working things out with also) and abandoned both our work group chats. Due to the nature of my work, I dont actually ever see or interact with him outside of gatherings.

I was willing to let that be the end of things, as he chose to self-exile himself and whatever, thats his choice. But recently Ive been hearing thats hes blaming *me* for his exclusion and telling people that what he did was not that bad undermining his whole initial apology. He also refuses to go to mandated work meetings that everyone must attend. All of this has left a bad taste in my mouth and Im considering reporting his actions to the higher ups, who are unaware of the situation.

On the one hand, it will create a written chain of communication about this incident, but on the other hand I know things arent likely to get solved. Is it worth escalating this situation, or am I overreacting? What do you think? Let me know in the comments. Be sure to subscribe, hit the like, ring the bell. Youre the best, youre the best!

Should you report a nazi for being a nazi? Yes!

yes always report rule breakers

mharbenedict34 posted...

yes always report rule breakers

That's a REAAAAAAALLLY horrible outlook on life. So many rediculusly unjust laws, like teachers having to report trans kids to their parents.

Also, Im not sure he technically broke any rules

JigsawTDCII posted...

Also, Im not sure he technically broke any rules

Being bigoted breaks a lot of rules.

I mean is he still doing it or is he just pissing you off atm?

I don't know. If he loses his job he'll find another, you'll just spare yourself and your coworkers having to work with him if he's just a huge pain in the ass.

EchoBaz posted...

Being bigoted breaks a lot of rules.

It definitely breaks social rules, but I currently live and work in a country whose rules skew heavily to the nationalistic side of things, so Im unsure if theres any actually rules against bigotry. I never got any sort of Code of Conduct like in the U.S. and what I was told about my behavior was more about framing both my home country and this country in a positive light, not anything about protected identities.

Yellow posted...

I mean is he still doing it or is he just pissing you off atm?

I don't know. If he loses his job he'll find another, you'll just spare yourself and your coworkers having to work with him if he's just a huge pain in the ass.

Hes not doing it anymore, at least not towards the largely group. Maybe hes still
making those jokes in private to any friends he may still have. Thats the biggest thing that gives me hesitation towards reporting it. But he is currently saying his exile is my fault, when it was his personal choice.

JigsawTDCII posted...

It definitely breaks social rules, but I currently live and work in a country whose rules skew heavily to the nationalistic side of things, so Im unsure if theres any actually rules against bigotry. I never got any sort of Code of Conduct like in the U.S. and what I was told about my behavior was more about framing both my home country and this country in a positive light, not anything about protected identities.

Hes not doing it anymore, at least not towards the largely group. Maybe hes still
making those jokes in private to any friends he may still have. Thats the biggest thing that gives me hesitation towards reporting it. But he is currently saying his exile is my fault, when it was his personal choice.

His fault for taking you for some skinhead.

I've worked with racists who have said in confidence they just straight up don't like black people. That's dumb because I tell literally everyone they said that. They might not get fired but they lose all respect.

Rulebreaking, generally, is not a huge deal as long as someone is not being an asshole or putting someone in danger. In this instance, dude is an asshole, and he should be grateful that he hasn't already faced more serious consequences for being a sack of shit.

Yeah he sounds like he could use a reminder that you're being nice.

Honestly though he sounds like a pain in the ass, my final say.

Yeah he sounds like a piece of shit and should be reported

Yellow posted...

His fault for taking you for some skinhead.

I've worked with racists who have said in confidence they just straight up don't like black people. That's dumb because I tell literally everyone they said that. They might not get fired but they lose all respect.

Very very very good point!

In general, he sounds unreliable wrecking in a matter of speaking his work integrity enough that you can number them. The shafting towards a fellow Jew (I am one), I can relate is unhealthy to our heart when repeated on and on, because the accused has bigger issues with relationships to trivialize any body he doesn't like. It is likely that he may hold the teams back you could write up that with his issues, if you can get more details on its lasting consequences. Otherwise, he will just play the fool longer.

If Whiskey was still around he would call you out on this fake story.

That's a shady area! If they continue after telling them that it's not cool then I would.

Just a note ancient Semites according to some anthropologists were Black people but we have come to know Semite or anti-sematic as being a slur against Jewish folks.

Cool, after the near unanimous feedback here, I do feel more comfortable going forward with reporting him. I dont necessarily expect it to solve much, but at least it will create written documentation so that if theres further incidents in the future with Jake they have a higher likelihood of doing something about it. Thanks!

JazzMasterZero posted...

If Whiskey was still around he would call you out on this fake story.

oh, thanks! Was really curious on his perspective here!!

Only if it can be done safely. I reported my trainer in Ohio while trucking for trying to sexually harass me and he claimed I stole his stuff and got off the truck at a random stop.

Thankfully he was a moron and his story was so dumb no one bought it, but there was a second there where it could've been some Machiavellian shit. Lots of people are wicked like that and think shit through. So just be tactful about what you do. Make sure it can't backfire or that they won't try and lie about you.

I've worked two seasonal jobs 15 years ago where the same type of fuck lied to the supervisor about me because they felt like their 2nd-in-command position was threatened because I was over qualified. So just be careful. But by no means am I recommending you to just take it. Bad behavior has no place in the work space. Period.

Straughan posted...

Only if it can be done safely. I reported my trainer in Ohio while trucking for trying to sexually harass me and he claimed I stole his stuff and got off the truck at a random stop.

Thankfully he was a moron and his story was so dumb no one bought it, but there was a second there where it could've been some Machiavellian shit. Lots of people are wicked like that and think shit through. So just be tactful about what you do. Make sure it can't backfire or that they won't try and lie about you.

I've worked two seasonal jobs 15 years ago where the same type of fuck lied to the supervisor about me because they felt like their 2nd-in-command position was threatened because I was over qualified. So just be careful. But by no means am I recommending you to just take it. Bad behavior has no place in the work space. Period.

I have no doubt hell try twisting it back on me if he becomes aware of me reporting it, as he definitely seems like the insidious type, but I have multiple other witnesses from the initial incident as well as the original text exchange we had after the fact. I feel like that should be enough to safeguard me against whatever he tries to pull in response to my report.

Just be safe. I wish you luck. You're doing the right thing asking for advice. Stuff like this sucks, but you shouldn't have to work around racist assholes.

It sounds like this could have been avoided by either (1) not having him at the party (or just don't invite to future events) and (2) not having religious items at the work gathering.

It also sounds like he's corrected the issue by choosing not to be involved, which is his prerogative. You 'reporting' the incident would come off like a 5 year old tattling on a classmate for chewing gum IMO.

EchoBaz posted...

That's a REAAAAAAALLLY horrible outlook on life. So many rediculusly unjust laws, like teachers having to report trans kids to their parents.

I live in the south and even here being trans Is not breaking any rules.

Also way to cherry pick. Obviously you should not obey rules in an unjust society like say nazi Germany.

mharbenedict34 posted...

I live in the south and even here being trans Is not breaking any rules.

Also way to cherry pick. Obviously you should not obey rules in an unjust society like say nazi Germany.

EchoBaz has a skewed view on morals and values.

JigsawTDCII posted...

Also, Im not sure he technically broke any rules

Creating a hostile work environment 100% break rules.

mharbenedict34 posted...

I live in the south and even here being trans Is not breaking any rules.

May want to check the laws that are being passed around you.

JigsawTDCII posted...

Whats this thing called? (referring to the menorah) A Krav Maga?

Can someone explain the joke here?

JigsawTDCII posted...

aint never met a cool Jake in my life

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/5/2/AAFUswAADdOo.jpg

Yeah, fuck em

Are you asking this question morally? Or whether or not it could impact your job?

DrPrimemaster posted...

Are you asking this question morally? Or whether or not it could impact your job?

The latter. Morally, this dude obviously shouldnt be working this job.

JigsawTDCII posted...

The latter. Morally, this dude obviously shouldnt be working this job.

Probably best to create a record of what initially happened, was the first small gathering an official work thing?

I read the title and thought "man, it's just some jokes, who cares?" then read the topic and yeah, those aren't jokes, that's just his excuse to be racist