Current Events > You are the sole juror: the defendant: a pitbull

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PiOverlord
05/19/22 10:08:24 PM
#1:


Death penalty?


The pitbull, named laurel or was it yanny, is accused of eating a baby, but you personally know the pitbull did not do it because on the night of the supposed murder, the pitbull got in an argument with a living, sentient pineapple pizza over if 9 3(3) is 1 (the pineapple pizzas answer) or 9 (the pitbulls answer). This argument ended with the pitbull eating the pineapple pizza, ending the life of the museum of Star Wars episode 8s most decorated police officer. No evidence remained, though, therefore the pitbull never got arrested. This pineapple pizza also had another pizza in the oven that was burnt to a crisp as a result, but it should be noted, the pineapple pizza police officer was planning on destroying this pizza anyways.

Still, the case you are on is strictly about the murder of an innocent baby, dressed in a white and gold and blue and black dress who won the nations heart by saying hotdogs are sandwiches as its first words.

You listen to the pitbull lawyers (JK Rowling) closing arguments: the horses name is Friday.

Do you find the pitbull guilty?

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CE_gonna_CE
05/19/22 10:09:29 PM
#2:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/6/4/AAb05zAADO7M.jpg

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cjsdowg
05/19/22 10:11:50 PM
#3:


No simply because they didn't do it. If you have evidence of another crime give it to the police.

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Trumble
05/19/22 10:15:18 PM
#4:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/5/3/AAe-HEAADP_x.jpg

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PiOverlord
05/19/22 10:16:12 PM
#5:


cjsdowg posted...
No simply because they didn't do it. If you have evidence of another crime give it to the police.
No crumb of evidence was left behind. The family of the pineapple pizza and its uncooked calzone wants justice.

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cjsdowg
05/19/22 10:17:33 PM
#6:


PiOverlord posted...
No crumb of evidence was left behind. The family of the pineapple pizza and its uncooked calzone wants justice.

That isn't how justice work. The idea of arrest someone for another crime that they could have done has been used to justify many horrible acts of injustice.

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Trumble
05/19/22 10:18:21 PM
#7:


cjsdowg posted...
That isn't how justice work. The idea of arrest someone for another crime that they could have done has been used to justify many horrible acts of injustice.
Show me where in the constitution it guarantees due process for pibbles.

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DrizztLink
05/19/22 10:22:53 PM
#8:


Trumble posted...
Show me where in the constitution it guarantees due process for pibbles.

14th Amendment
Section 1
All pibbles born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

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Ricemills
05/19/22 10:26:39 PM
#9:


the pibble was later destroyed

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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you posted will be misquoted, then be used against you.
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Shotgunnova
05/19/22 10:27:36 PM
#10:


*before the verdict can be reached, Pitbull jumps through window and escapes*
*later, JK Rowling walks through crowd on way to book signing near UnfairRepresent's house*
*Pitbull watches her and calls juror from payphone*

Pitbull: Hello, Juror.
Juror: Pibble?
Pitbull: Don't bother with a trace. I won't be on long enough.
Juror: Where are you, Pibble?
Pitbull: I have no plans to call on you, juror. The world's more interesting with you in it. So you take care now to extend me the same courtesy.
Juror: You know I can't make that promise.
Pitbull: I do wish we could chat longer, but...I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye.

*Pitbull hangs up*

Juror: Pibble? Pibble? Pibble!?

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IfGodCouldDie
05/19/22 10:34:26 PM
#11:


I reveal to the world that the pitbull is actually an undercover failed republican abortion and split its crypto currency stash with antifa

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NeonOctopus
05/19/22 10:37:37 PM
#12:


Fuck dat bitch

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