Current Events > How do trans people figure out they're trans?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I figure it's different for most people, but are there any common experiences y'all share? () https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/7/0/AAa0orAADLYu.jpg

Femur X-ray

I saw anime girls with giant anime boobs and was like "oh, that's quite nice, I wish that were me" and I was right.

Irony posted...

Femur X-ray

Thats kinda transphobic and dysphoria triggering.

How did you figure out you were cis? Hell, a few years ago, I would be in this very topic insisting I was cis.
But now? Now I have tiddies and everyone loves me! Especially me.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

How did you figure out you were cis? Hell, a few years ago, I would be in this very topic insisting I was cis.
But now? Now I have tiddies and everyone loves me! Especially me.

Where pics

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Did I?

Irony posted...

Femur X-ray

Ouch

gunplagirl posted...

I saw anime girls with giant anime boobs and was like "oh, that's quite nice, I wish that were me" and I was right.

Oh shit

ElatedVenusaur posted...

How did you figure out you were cis? Hell, a few years ago, I would be in this very topic insisting I was cis.

I dunno that's not really the question

Crazily enough it's a talking hat.

I stress that this is not serious.

It's something that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't already get it, to give you a real response. It's just something you feel and you just know, whether it be when you look at yourself (because of the feelings of dysphoria), within yourself, at other people, or the world at large.

Personally, I realized I was trans by the time I was eight or nine, but I always felt different before then. I always saw myself as a girl in my dreams, and in real life, I found it hard to relate with most guys... I usually felt a lot more comfortable around other girls. As I grew older, I started to grow envious of the other girls and started hating how I looked, but I always tried to hide from those feelings because of familial pressure (being threatened with being disowned and having violence inflicted on you is a pretty good reason to hide) and societal pressure; it took me being pushed to the point of having to be honest with myself and realize that I just couldn't hide from the truth of who I am.

JanuarySun posted...

It's something that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't already get it, to give you a real response. It's just something you feel and you just know, whether it be when you look at yourself (because of the feelings of dysphoria), within yourself, at other people, or the world at large.

Personally, I realized I was trans by the time I was eight or nine, but I always felt different before then. I always saw myself as a girl in my dreams, and in real life, I found it hard to relate with most guys... I usually felt a lot more comfortable around other girls. As I grew older, I started to grow envious of the other girls and started hating how I looked, but I always tried to hide from those feelings because of familial pressure (being threatened with being disowned and having violence inflicted on you is a pretty good reason to hide) and societal pressure; it took me being pushed to the point of having to be honest with myself and realize that I just couldn't hide from the truth of who I am.

Thank you for actually contributing a serious and insightful response.

That must have been (and still be) extremely difficult. Im glad that you seem to have accepted who you are though. Thats inspiring.

JanuarySun posted...

It's something that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't already get it, to give you a real response. It's just something you feel and you just know, whether it be when you look at yourself (because of the feelings of dysphoria), within yourself, at other people, or the world at large.

Personally, I realized I was trans by the time I was eight or nine, but I always felt different before then. I always saw myself as a girl in my dreams, and in real life, I found it hard to relate with most guys... I usually felt a lot more comfortable around other girls. As I grew older, I started to grow envious of the other girls and started hating how I looked, but I always tried to hide from those feelings because of familial pressure (being threatened with being disowned and having violence inflicted on you is a pretty good reason to hide) and societal pressure; it took me being pushed to the point of having to be honest with myself and realize that I just couldn't hide from the truth of who I am.

I dont have personal experience but this seems like a very solid and well put summary of the common experiences Ive heard about. Well said.

gunplagirl posted...

I saw anime girls with giant anime boobs and was like "oh, that's quite nice, I wish that were me" and I was right.

tfw I think the same thing looking at anime girls >_> but I'm not trans honest

I started seeing more people that were nonbinary and I was like "damn that would cool too bad I have to be a girl". Because I was under the impression you had to be suffering immensely to make any decision about your gender

I felt like that for several years, and then I guess I realized it doesn't have to be a big deal, and I can just opt out of gender because it feels better to me.

Obviously it IS going to be a big deal for a lot of people though. I realize most trans people have to deal with way more real-life issues

SSJPurple posted...

Thank you for actually contributing a serious and insightful response.

That must have been (and still be) extremely difficult. Im glad that you seem to have accepted who you are though. Thats inspiring.

My response was serious. It's exactly like asking when you realized you were cis.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

My response was serious. It's exactly like asking when you realized you were cis.

I think people wanted something a bit more in-depth, >.<

FurryPhilosifer posted...

tfw I think the same thing looking at anime girls >_> but I'm not trans honest

/r/egg_irl

Tag, Ill share my discovery moment after work.

FurryPhilosifer posted...

tfw I think the same thing looking at anime girls >_> but I'm not trans honest

That's dysphoria, honey. Cis people don't think that they wanna be the opposite gender except maybe for a few minutes wondering about it after playing with an app filter, or listening to Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush.

gunplagirl posted...

That's dysphoria, honey. Cis people don't think that they wanna be the opposite gender except maybe for a few minutes wondering about it after playing with an app filter, or listening to Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush.

Tbf, who hasn't wanted to be a anime girl at least once

Ivynn posted...

Tbf, who hasn't wanted to be a anime girl at least once

Just once is one thing.

More than once, that's trans. Or crossdressing. Or whatever other gender incongruous identity may apply.

gunplagirl posted...

Just once is one thing.

More than once, that's trans. Or crossdressing. Or whatever other gender incongruous identity may apply.

I dunno, I've had more than one dream where I'm a woman, heck I'll admit those dreams were pretty fun, but I'm very certain I'm 100% cishet dude >_>

Ivynn posted...

I dunno, I've had more than one dream where I'm a woman, heck I'll admit those dreams were pretty fun, but I'm very certain I'm 100% cishet dude >_>

Sure. I thought so, too, and now I have tits and other lady bits. I also am way more confident with women now.

Maybe I'll start advertising my step by step guide to end up drowning in girls.

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

i remember before i led a workshop on lgbtq+ stuff with students and to start, we posed the question: "When did you choose to be straight?"

no one could give a solid answer

and that was the point.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

I guess i secretly want to be a girl then.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

No I do that because I'm often a pervert.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

that ain't why people make female characters in bethesda games at least

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

>_>

<_<

.... that's not it.

Ivynn posted...

I dunno, I've had more than one dream where I'm a woman, heck I'll admit those dreams were pretty fun, but I'm very certain I'm 100% cishet dude >_>

Anchor Arms(TM) commercial, but tiddies. I just can't conceptualize it right now.

MixedRaceBaby posted...

i remember before i led a workshop on lgbtq+ stuff with students and to start, we posed the question: "When did you choose to be straight?"

no one could give a solid answer

and that was the point.

I dont like the intentional phrasing of choose here.
I think TCs post is pretty benign and is moreso asking when/how did you realize your identity didnt align with your assigned sex which is obviously a different experience than one a cis person would have, because there is typically no dysmorphia or conscious thought about that position. While one may have always felt/identified with their trans gender, there was certainly still a moment where they realize they were experiencing something different than what their peers were, and had to consciously decide to accept it, or some similar internal evolution.
Simply by living in a heteronormative society, its kind of a given that someone who feels different is going to pay more attention and put thought into why/how they are different.
I can tell you the moment I realized I liked girls, doesnt mean I didnt always like them, but there was definitely a conscious moment of realization of this is not how others feel when they are around girl friends.

gunplagirl posted...

I saw anime girls with giant anime boobs and was like "oh, that's quite nice, I wish that were me" and I was right.

Im just going to awkwardly look away >.>

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

Wrong answer.

Making girl avatars and such was one of my earliest ways of expressing myself, but if you're being serious... I dunno what to say.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Anchor Arms(TM) commercial, but tiddies. I just can't conceptualize it right now.

I had a meme edit to this effect years ago but I don't wanna scroll through over 10k pictures just to get into the right section of pics

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Im just going to awkwardly look away >.>

You really need to talk with a gender therapist

I don't think it means I have gender dysphoria or anything. I'm happy with my body and appearance (well, apart from my weight) (and hair, it's really dry and frizzy), and I'm happy to be a guy. I just think girls and girls clothes look cool too.

FurryPhilosifer posted...

I don't think it means I have gender dysphoria or anything. I'm happy with my body and appearance (well, apart from my weight) (and hair, it's really dry and frizzy), and I'm happy to be a guy. I just think girls and girls clothes look cool too.

Then wear cute dresses and be the most badass guy you can be.

are the straights ok?

gunplagirl posted...

now I have [] other lady bits.

Will you specify what you mean by this?

Daffadilio posted...

I dont like the intentional phrasing of choose here.

i agree with you. you're not supposed to like it. the question is intentional in that sense, it makes you uncomfortable.

MixedRaceBaby posted...

i agree with you. you're not supposed to like it. the question is intentional in that sense, it makes you uncomfortable.

so what I mean is obviously this is wording you would use to confront someone who thinks in the structure of when did you decide to be gay- or may have never thought much about others experiences at all. In this discussion, no one has implied they decided to turn trans. TC asked how they figured out but meant by context says how did you realize- essentially a benign question, not exhibiting bias.
I agree with your use of it at the workshop. I question your use of it here for this topic/situation. Granted you were sharing something you felt poignant, I just wasnt sure if you thought it was a way of answering the TCs question

DespondentDeity posted...

Will you specify what you mean by this?

I wonder

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


My mom told me

I think it makes sense about just knowing. Like how Ive always known I was cis

I think my realization was contextual in a sense.

Youre gonna have to trust me that this is in fact the version where Im not diving too much into my personal background; I had always felt greater kinship to women in my life, and been tormented by the men in my life as a result. Any show of effeminacy was met with vicious reprisals involving both physical and emotional abuse; it did not help that I was both a constant crier and a persistent pants pisser. I didnt like looking at my penis, it looked strange to me, like it belonged on someone elses body.

This feeling worsened in 4th grade after two important events. Having never touched my penis or played with it like most male children, I formed a glandular adhesion despite being circumcised; I was starting to get spontaneous erections and it was immensely painful, so I told my dad and he forced it apart, I was screaming and begging him to stop and he kept telling me to shut the fuck up or hed rip the whole thing off adding, not that theres much to rip and laughing. After this, my brother showed me our moms boyfriends stash of pornography, I can still see this guys penis in my head if I think about it. I cried and told my mom cuz I was afraid of going to hell. My brother and eventual step dad started routinely calling me an f slur and a pussy; saying that Id never have sex and that I was just jealous of the mans penis.

My eventual best friend for 5th through 8th grade was the only other normal persons penis I saw, and his was absolutely enormous, like 9 inches. I remember him saying that mine wasnt that bad and that he was like in the top 1% easily, but I told him that Id rather be a girl than have a penis like mine. His sister showed me her vagina and teased me by saying that her brother said I wanted one of them. She told me she had heard of someone doing that, but she didnt know how. Those two were the first people who didnt regard me with disdain for being effeminate.

Im going to fast forward quite a while, but those are some of the earliest examples where I recognized that my body felt wrong. At some point in my childhood I became extremely obese, and at another point I developed a compulsion where I would grab my breasts whenever I felt anxious. I remember other boys would often say things like, that looks fun or god your tits are huge and shit like that, and like constantly grab them. I have such weirdly mixed feelings about that because on the one hand it made me feel like a colossal gross fat ass and is also a form of harassment, but it also made me feel good that people wanted to grab my tits.

Eventually, I would lose somewhere around 180 pounds, and while I have never reached like single digit percent body fat or anything, my tits would get significantly smaller. My trimmed down body was pretty masculine actually, I thought it was gonna be great cuz I could start having sex with women again. However, when I did, I was envious of them, like I felt like they were in MY spot. I found this thought to be terrifying as well due to internalized homophobia. The trans question had come up numerous times before, and it came up again. I felt ill, I didnt want to be trans. I still dont, I want to be a cis woman.

So February 2021, I started feeling good about trying to express as non-binary and began to incorporate womens clothing items into my wardrobe. I started liking myself more, others started liking me more. I was just absolutely degrading myself with my drinking habit tho, and I gained so much weight back and I was constantly sick and exhausted. I also started having cognitive problems and pretty much felt like I had two lives. There was this fracture and it happened every day at the point I started drinking. I got sober in October 2021, I just quit cold turkey cuz I didnt think I would ever care what happened to me.

After the first week or so, literally every single thought I had was about becoming a woman. As I started to recover from the alcoholisms effect on my physiology, I started to feel more and more comfortable the further I would go expressing myself as a woman. I started buying these black dresses, and whenever Id wear them I couldnt stop smiling, I felt incredibly close to being a woman, I felt so happy. I thought that would be enough forever tbh

Thats when the transphobia began. I had this super weird encounter in late December 2021 with a carrier supervisor who took me into an office and created this fiction about a customer having called to complain after having seen me in a skirt. Im sure that petty calls like that happen to trans people all the time, but this was fiction because they wouldnt provide documentation of the call for the contract holders records and theyre also denying it having occurred last time I mentioned it. So a 45 year old incel is standing there lying to my face saying he agrees that the outfits are out of line and that its not appropriate because its so windy here, wed all just hate to have your skirt fly up and your manhood to pop out, and he also just kept referring to me as a man and using he/him on me and just generally refusing to acknowledge me as a feminine being in any capacity.

That was when I knew that I absolutely hated people seeing me as a man, and I have no choice but to stake my blood and soul to put an end to it using any means necessary.

You get a letter from an owl when you turn 10.

It's hate mail from JK Rowling.

JanuarySun posted...

It's something that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't already get it, to give you a real response. It's just something you feel and you just know, whether it be when you look at yourself (because of the feelings of dysphoria), within yourself, at other people, or the world at large.

Personally, I realized I was trans by the time I was eight or nine, but I always felt different before then. I always saw myself as a girl in my dreams, and in real life, I found it hard to relate with most guys... I usually felt a lot more comfortable around other girls. As I grew older, I started to grow envious of the other girls and started hating how I looked, but I always tried to hide from those feelings because of familial pressure (being threatened with being disowned and having violence inflicted on you is a pretty good reason to hide) and societal pressure; it took me being pushed to the point of having to be honest with myself and realize that I just couldn't hide from the truth of who I am.

I'm glad you were able to come to that realization, despite the outside negativity. Thank you for sharing.

TeaMilk posted...

I started seeing more people that were nonbinary and I was like "damn that would cool too bad I have to be a girl". Because I was under the impression you had to be suffering immensely to make any decision about your gender

I felt like that for several years, and then I guess I realized it doesn't have to be a big deal, and I can just opt out of gender because it feels better to me.

Obviously it IS going to be a big deal for a lot of people though. I realize most trans people have to deal with way more real-life issues

little guy is the best gender tbh. thanks bro.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

If you find that youre always choosing video game avatars of the opposite sex

shit really

Daffadilio posted...

2 cool posts

thanks daff, i appreciate you clearing that up.

DespondentDeity posted...

.

damn....im sorry you had to deal with all of that. im glad you can be who you want to be now. you should german suplex anyone who talks shit, that's what i do.

jumi posted...

You get a letter from an owl when you turn 10.

It's hate mail from JK Rowling.

lmao i used to get happy birthday meals in the mail from burger king when i was under 12 does that count

The funny thing is that I pared out like 4 gigantic anecdotes that were even more tragic, but thats just the journey, Ive got a million of them shits and I still had it better than a lot of people. I dont want to be angry or hurt anybody anymore, I only want to be outrageously gorgeous.

jumi posted...

You get a letter from an owl when you turn 10.

It's hate mail from JK Rowling.

You win today's Internet sir/madam/x

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