Current Events > My wife just told me she wouldn't want to buy a house around apartments.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Wouldn't want to have a house in an area with apartment buildings because she likes the community look of only single family housing..

Guys, as someone with strong strong YIMBY opinions, I am shooketh.

I wanted to go into a rant but could tell I'd end up hurting her feelings, lol.

Whats yimby?

David1988 posted...

Whats yimby?

I think it's NIMBY (not in my backyard) which means hypocritical people who don't want community living near their houses.

Yeah I wouldn't want to look at high rises if I lived in a traditional single family house either

David1988 posted...

Whats yimby?

Yes In My BackYard, as opposed to Not In My BackYard.

Essentially, NIMBYS are the kinda people who would push for new housing to NOT be built in their neighborhood because they don't want to change their neighborhood characteristic, or increase parking, traffic. Or the feeling that non single family housing will cause... Poorer/"rowdy" people to come into their neighborhood.

Yimbys would be like, just build more housing everywhere

Why does she have to feel bad for wanting something where shes going to spend the rest of her life at? I grew up poor in Chicago and Im spending the rest of my life living where I want and exactly how I want it? Thats NOT a bad thing. Regardless of what people online here make you feel.

I dont want to live near apartment complexes here. Regardless of the neighborhood. Theyre always the highest source of any kind of crime in an area

Tell your wife "I wouldn't want to buy a house around you"

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

Yeah I wouldn't want to look at high rises if I lived in a traditional single family house either

Zoning laws already pretty much keep actual high rises from most neighborhoods. But what about like 4-5 story apartments?

._.

darkprince45 posted...

Why does she have to feel bad for wanting something where shes going to spend the rest of her life at? I grew up poor in Chicago and Im spending the rest of my life living where I want and exactly how I want it? Thats NOT a bad thing. Regardless of what people online here make you feel.

I dont want to live near apartment complexes here. Regardless of the neighborhood. Theyre always the highest source of any kind of crime in an area

She doesn't have to feel bad and she shouldn't have to feel bad. But if I go into a discussion about the negative impacts of that type of aesthetic preference, some start feeling bad and feel judged about it.

I mean, like what you want and pay for what you want. It doesn't mean their aren't external negativities to it that don't directly impact you but still exist.

emblem boy posted...

She doesn't have to feel bad and she shouldn't have to feel bad. But if I go into a rant about the negative impacts of that type of aesthetic preference, some start feeling bad and feel judged about it.

I mean, like what you want and pay for what you want. It doesn't mean their aren't external negativities to it that don't directly impact you but still exist.

because THAT is the problem. You shouldnt have to rant someone over their preferences

darkprince45 posted...

because THAT is the problem. You shouldnt have to rant someone over their preferences

I used rant in jest. It's really just a discussion. I'm obviously not going to be shouting and raising my voice at my wife about it

Respect you wife's wishes

Funny, around here a lot of apartments started out as houses and got converted, they mostly still look like houses, aside from the extra doors on the outside, and extra address markers.

... They're terrible and I hate it here. Someone please give me money to move. ;_;

Nothing says community like only seeing your neighbor for 5 seconds when you back your car out of the garage

Butterfiles posted...

Nothing says community like only seeing your neighbor for 5 seconds when you back your car out of the garage

Damn right. Would you prefer hearing your neighbors humping through your ceiling?

emblem boy posted...

Zoning laws already pretty much keep actual high rises from most neighborhoods. But what about like 4-5 story apartments?

It's hard to say because they just literally wouldn't work in my neighborhood. I don't have an issue with complexes like that being built in the general area though

darkprince45 posted...

because THAT is the problem. You shouldnt have to rant someone over their preferences

Preferences like I just dont want to have to see an apartment building for a few seconds out of my day when I look out the window and pricing people out of housing in their own cities, and thats fucked

Section 8 housing ? yeah I can see why she wouldn't want to be near that

TheGoldenEel posted...

Preferences like I just dont want to have to see an apartment building for a few seconds out of my day when I look out the window and pricing people out of housing in their own cities, and thats fucked

thats stretching a lot for saying you just want a good view

tremain07 posted...

Section 8 housing ? yeah I can see why she wouldn't want to be near that

.... I said apartments. Not sure why you'd default that to mean section 8.

TheGoldenEel posted...

Preferences like I just dont want to have to see an apartment building for a few seconds out of my day when I look out the window and pricing people out of housing in their own cities, and thats fucked

Yep. But we can't say that or else we'll hurt their feelings bro.

emblem boy posted...

... I said apartments. Not sure why you'd default that to mean section 8.

He loves being wrong

darkprince45 posted...

thats stretching a lot for saying you just want a good view

Yes thats what having a good view is in this case; seeing a couple houses instead of a single larger building

were not talking about beachfront property, were talking about people wanting to preserve something that has little to no actual effect on their life

of course, this is just the excuse; the real reason people dont want apartment buildings is generally prejudice

I should be clear. People can have many aesthetic and community preferences when it comes to housing. Some like the look of single family housing only neighborhood. The appearance of safety that comes with it, correctly or falsely. The open space, etc. That's all fine and I'm sure for most people, it comes from a good place. Maybe it even represents wealth and the idea that you've "made it" from poor areas. That's fine. Have your opinions and preferences. It's largely cultural.

But just because it's your preference, it doesn't mean I can't think it's an objectively bad opinion. And what I think doesn't matter. It's where you want to make a home and most people are going to make choices that are beneficial to them.

But again, I'm still going to say it's a bad opinion and that there are objectively better choices.

I'd prefer not to live near apartments either. Apartments tend to attract crime and homeless people. I worked overnight security for some apartment complexes for several years. Always having to run off homeless and people looking to steal from all of those cars parked together. That kind of crap spills over into the homes nearby.

I mean, as someone whos lived in both situations, its definitely quieter and more peaceful to not live near apartments so I can understand her feeling

respect emblem girl

emblem boy posted...

I should be clear. People can have many aesthetic and community preferences when it comes to housing. Some like the look of single family housing only neighborhood. The appearance of safety that comes with it, correctly or falsely. The open space, etc. That's all fine and I'm sure for most people, it comes from a good place. Maybe it even represents wealth and the idea that you've "made it" from poor areas. That's fine. Have your opinions and preferences. It's largely cultural.

But just because it's your preference, it doesn't mean I can't think it's an objectively bad opinion. And what I think doesn't matter. It's where you want to make a home and most people are going to make choices that are beneficial to them.

But again, I'm still going to say it's a bad opinion and that there are objectively better choices.

Tell your wife that if you feel strongly enough about this opinion

David1988 posted...

Tell your wife that if you feel strongly enough about this opinion

We'll be looking at multiple places of each type. Just depends on what fits our budget more and what kind of compromises we can make with each other.

Worst comes to worst, I'll make sure to be part of neighborhood zoning meetings and change it from the inside, lol.

They built an apartment complex at the end of my street a few years ago and the street went to shit. Theres tons on noise, people walking through, etc. They started trying to open car doors to steal from cars

No, if I ever bought/built, I wouldnt want any neighbors anywhere close by.

Payzmaykr posted...

They built an apartment complex at the end of my street a few years ago and the street went to shit. Theres tons on noise, people walking through, etc. They started trying to open car doors to steal from cars

No, if I ever bought/built, I wouldnt want any neighbors anywhere close by.

YourDrunkFather posted...

I mean, as someone whos lived in both situations, its definitely quieter and more peaceful to not live near apartments so I can understand her feeling

TentacleDemon posted...

I'd prefer not to live near apartments either. Apartments tend to attract crime and homeless people. I worked overnight security for some apartment complexes for several years. Always having to run off homeless and people looking to steal from all of those cars parked together. That kind of crap spills over into the homes nearby.

Yeah, I understand why y'all feel the way you do.

I just have different tolerances for many of those things is what I've learned.

It's a hard thing to try and convince others about

https://wamu.org/story/22/04/05/neighborhood-defenders-fight-to-maintain-the-status-quo-in-montgomery-county/

On a Thursday morning in May 2011, a group of homeowners sat in a hearing room at the Montgomery County Planning Board in Silver Spring, Maryland, waiting their turn to testify against the construction of a new housing development.

The topic up for discussion that day was a high-end townhouse community that a developer wanted to build near bustling downtown Silver Spring. The company, EYA, had applied for a zoning change so it could build 76 townhomes on the former site of a private school less than a mile from the Silver Spring Metro station. The developers lawyer was in the hearing room. The homeowners had brought a lawyer, too. For the next two hours, 34 community members read from prepared testimony outlining their opinions of the proposed townhouses. Most agreed they were a bad idea.

There is a lot of pressure on our neighborhood to become more dense, said a leader with the Seven Oaks Evanswood Citizens Association. We want to stop this trend now.

We invested in a single-family home neighborhood, testified a homeowner. If we wanted townhouses to be a part of that equation, we would have purchased elsewhere.

Several residents talked about how friendly the neighborhood is, full of people who mow each others lawns, shovel each others driveways, and exchange vegetables from their gardens. Adding townhouses to the mix would disturb their tight-knit community, they said.

Its a quiet, close, and special neighborhood, and there arent many like these left in Silver Spring, another neighbor testified.

A handful of people told the board they liked the proposed development it would provide 10 homes priced for lower-income residents, in addition to more housing near transit and walkable options for seniors looking to downsize, they said. But supporters were outnumbered. When the hearing ended, Planning Board Chair Franoise Carrier turned her attention toward the naysayers.

I know what you mean. Theres nothing wrong with having a preference. There is a problem though when people dont realize your preference isnt as important as the basic human need for housing.

People having a place to live is more important than a mild inconvenience. This community gatekeeping has to stop.

emblem boy posted...

Not sure why you'd default that to mean section 8.

it's a fancy term for rent subsidized apartments.

hows the kid doing? i missed a chunk of that if you made any annoucements/topics

Im with your wife tbh. I love the community we moved into. So peaceful, lots of young families and beautiful parks. I think having a baby tends to affect that kind of thinking as well. The security aspect is appealing to moms.

darkprince45 posted...

Why does she have to feel bad for wanting something where shes going to spend the rest of her life at? I grew up poor in Chicago and Im spending the rest of my life living where I want and exactly how I want it? Thats NOT a bad thing. Regardless of what people online here make you feel.

I dont want to live near apartment complexes here. Regardless of the neighborhood. Theyre always the highest source of any kind of crime in an area

Based

NIMBYs are karens that haven't revealed their true colors yet

Sounds like it suburbia time for uou

Cleo_II posted...

Im with your wife tbh. I love the community we moved into. So peaceful, lots of young families and beautiful parks. I think having a baby tends to affect that kind of thinking as well. The security aspect is appealing to moms.

As in apartments are dangerous and void of families?

WingsOfGood posted...

As in apartments are dangerous and void of families?

Sure thats exactly what I said. Have a cookie.

I dont get the logic that a single family home is safer than an apartment. Apartments deter people from breaking in because there are people in the vicinity at all times.

The only times my car has been broken into happened when I lived in a house. Never had an issue in an apartment.

I dont believe a home is any safer and I really hope people arent saying the danger comes from tenants.

Cleo_II posted...

Im with your wife tbh. I love the community we moved into. So peaceful, lots of young families and beautiful parks. I think having a baby tends to affect that kind of thinking as well. The security aspect is appealing to moms.

I get it. As I said earlier it's very understandable. I think more specificity would also help in the conversation. What level of compromises can be to allow areas with sfh, parks, and multifamily housing.

No_U_L7 posted...

hows the kid doing? i missed a chunk of that if you made any annoucements/topics

She's doing great man

emblem boy posted...

What level of compromises can be to allow areas with sfh, parks, and multifamily housing.

I've got a small house next to a cul-de-sac of duplexes, and I'm pretty sure I'm the bad neighbor.

Axiom posted...

NIMBYs are karens that haven't revealed their true colors yet

Most people are Karen's to be honest. Just depends on the topic

MrDrMan posted...

I dont get the logic that a single family home is safer than an apartment. Apartments deter people from breaking in because there are people in the vicinity at all times.

The only times my car has been broken into happened when I lived in a house. Never had an issue in an apartment.

I dont believe a home is any safer and I really hope people arent saying the danger comes from tenants.

I know I have different safety concern than others due to age, gender, race, past experiences, etc. And that's going to drive people's perspective, which makes this a difficult conversation.

But personally, I think it's the visual component of a place looking and feeling safer. Does it look neat? Are there homeless people around? Do the people who live there "look" poor, etc. It all gets lumped into "is it safe".
There's probably more communities could do to improve those visuals so those perspectives change.

I'm with you, I'd feel safer being in an area with lots of foot traffic. For some, they don't consider it safe.

I really do want to make it clear that while I disagree with the opinion I know very much how people come to those opinions and it's very hard to change, like most opinions and preferences.

I mean... That's why I don't think local areas should have this type of veto power

emblem boy posted...

I get it. As I said earlier it's very understandable. I think more specificity would also help in the conversation. What level of compromises can be to allow areas with sfh, parks, and multifamily housing.

She's doing great man

she was born? congrats!

I get what youre saying but if were being honest none of that really has an impact on whether a place is safe or not. Homeless people arent inherently dangerous. Places that look neat and well off are often the places targeted for home invasions.

That kinda goes back to my original point. We shouldnt ignore basic human needs just so that privileged people dont have to feel uncomfortable.

The easiest way to get those homeless people everyone is so bothered by off the street is to build affordable housing. Nobody wants that because they dont like those people around them at all though. Its just not right. We have to do better as a country. These people on the streets arent any different than you or I.

No_U_L7 posted...

she was born? congrats!

Oh haha yeah man. Feb. 28th
Thanks. It's been good so far. Getting to be a bit of work

MrDrMan posted...

I get what youre saying but if were being honest none of that really has an impact on whether a place is safe or not. Homeless people arent inherently dangerous. Places that look neat and well off are often the places targeted for home invasions.

That kinda goes back to my original point. We shouldnt ignore basic human needs just so that privileged people dont have to feel uncomfortable.

The easiest way to get those homeless people everyone is so bothered by off the street is to build affordable housing. Nobody wants that because they dont like those people around them at all though. Its just not right. We have to do better as a country. These people on the streets arent any different than you or I.

I know man. People's perspective of crime is high contrary to the actual stats. I'm pessimistic about how much people can be convinced of it though.

Questionmarktarius posted...

I've got a small house next to a cul-de-sac of duplexes, and I'm pretty sure I'm the bad neighbor.

Lol, why

emblem boy posted...

Lol, why

backyard firepit, and getting drunk by the fire