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Current Events > $5000 or a bottomless bag of beef jerky

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LeoRavus
03/28/22 3:14:18 PM
#1:


Which one?


It doesn't matter how much you take from the bag, it will always be full. You can't use it for profit. Just to eat yourself or share with someone else. If you take any sort of money or services for what you share the bag will disappear

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#2
Post #2 was unavailable or deleted.
FigureOfSpeech
03/28/22 3:17:49 PM
#3:


I don't really careabout beef jerky. Give money

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MabusIncarnate
03/28/22 3:18:27 PM
#4:


I'll easily eat more than $5000 in jerky in my life, so jerky.

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Spurner
03/28/22 3:20:04 PM
#5:


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B18Champ
03/28/22 3:21:21 PM
#6:


I would rather take the free money than have an endless supply of a Group 1 carcinogen

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TeaMilk
03/28/22 3:22:04 PM
#7:


Easily beef jerky if its the good stuff (no jack links bullshit)

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toreysback
03/28/22 3:22:15 PM
#8:


i mean, the beef jerky is dressed provocatively, but i would still take the money

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SSJ2GrimReaper
03/28/22 3:22:52 PM
#9:


what brand of jerky

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1337toothbrush
03/28/22 3:22:52 PM
#10:


Endless beef jerky. I'd save more than $5000 eating that beef jerky over my lifetime. Do you know how much that shit costs?

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skermy
03/28/22 3:23:42 PM
#11:


Money I have not has beef jerky in years, not a fan

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itachi15243
03/28/22 3:24:42 PM
#12:


1337toothbrush posted...
Endless beef jerky. I'd save more than $5000 eating that beef jerky over my lifetime. Do you know how much that shit costs?

You know how much salt is in jerky?

You'd be dead in a month or two, maybe three.

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1337toothbrush
03/28/22 3:26:06 PM
#13:


itachi15243 posted...
You know how much salt is in jerky?

You'd be dead in a month or two, maybe three.
I'm not eating that much beef jerky.

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ellis123
03/28/22 3:27:45 PM
#14:


itachi15243 posted...
You know how much salt is in jerky?

You'd be dead in a month or two, maybe three.
Pretty sure you aren't supposed to nonstop binge eat nothing for the premise of the topic. It's not "$5000 or die to malnutrition in a couple of weeks" after all. The only assumptions to make are that the jerky doesn't just go bad and that it doesn't include stuff like Turkey Jerky as those are another meat. Stuff like the brand or if it can switch between different types of jerky are up to the reader.

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faizan_faizan
03/28/22 3:34:13 PM
#15:


$5000 is good for what? A few months rent? I'd much rather have an endless supply of food.

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Lost_All_Senses
03/28/22 3:35:33 PM
#16:


toreysback posted...
i mean, the beef jerky is dressed provocatively, but i would still take the money

Well said

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Tyranthraxus
03/28/22 3:36:22 PM
#17:


Jerky easily. I'd eat way more than $5000 worth easily.

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3PiesAndAFork
03/28/22 3:37:02 PM
#18:


Depends on the jerky tbh. Is it made of grass fed beef, no carcinogens or preservatives, and a reasonable amount of salt? If so, then that. If not, then the money.

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#19
Post #19 was unavailable or deleted.
LightHawKnight
03/28/22 3:55:13 PM
#20:


1337toothbrush posted...
Endless beef jerky. I'd save more than $5000 eating that beef jerky over my lifetime. Do you know how much that shit costs?


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What_
03/28/22 3:59:10 PM
#21:


Im going to answer this as Ron Swanson would:

I have $5000; I do not have a bottomless bag of beef jerky.
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EmbraceOfDeath
03/28/22 4:02:35 PM
#22:


The jerky. I'd give as much as I could away as fast as I could too. Just reducing the number of cows raised and killed would make it worth it whether shared or not.

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LeoRavus
03/28/22 4:37:56 PM
#23:


SSJ2GrimReaper posted...
what brand of jerky

Whatever one you pick

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nfearurspecimn
03/28/22 4:38:49 PM
#24:


Beef Jerky to be honest.

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dioxxys
03/28/22 4:46:15 PM
#25:


You could easily sell an endless bag of jerky for a couple million

I'll take the jerky eat some for a while, maybe stock up on it by putting it in other containers since it keeps for a long time

Then I'll sell that s*** for a million
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Sheiky-Baby
03/28/22 4:48:17 PM
#26:


dioxxys posted...
You could easily sell an endless bag of jerky for a couple million

LeoRavus posted...
You can't use it for profit.

Anyways, I'll take the money. Unless the World ends tomorrow, and all the food are gone or something.


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dioxxys
03/28/22 4:49:28 PM
#27:


B18Champ posted...
I would rather take the free money than have an endless supply of a Group 1 carcinogen
What don't carcinogens only come from cooking food? Beef jerky isn't actually cooked it's dried.

I'd be more worried about the heart diseases associated with red meat
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The_Korey
03/28/22 4:50:44 PM
#28:


FigureOfSpeech posted...
I don't really careabout beef jerky. Give money



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HovaRex
03/28/22 4:52:10 PM
#29:


I kinda think beef jerky is disgusting. I'd take $5 over a bottomless bag of it probably.

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Sexypwnstar
03/28/22 4:53:54 PM
#30:


Take the endless bag and get a machine/contraption that keeps pulling out more and more jerky until it floods the world and entire universe

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DocileOrangeCup
03/28/22 4:53:55 PM
#31:


Oh fuck I'll take the jerky. If I had an endless amount of oberto or trader Joe's beaf jerky I could probably convince TeaMilk to kill someone if needed

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Tyranthraxus
03/28/22 4:55:30 PM
#32:


By the way, since this bag is magically refilling itself does that mean the beef jerky is effectively vegan?

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Umbreon
03/28/22 4:59:27 PM
#33:


Beef jerky, and use it to feed the homeless. I don't actually enjoy beef jerky myself.

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TeaMilk
03/29/22 2:57:15 AM
#34:


DocileOrangeCup posted...
Oh fuck I'll take the jerky. If I had an endless amount of oberto or trader Joe's beaf jerky I could probably convince TeaMilk to kill someone if needed
fuck yeah TJBJ (trader joes BJ (beefjerky)) is so tender and theres no weird gristle

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Giblet_Enjoyer
03/29/22 3:03:39 AM
#35:


B18Champ posted...
I would rather take the free money than have an endless supply of a Group 1 carcinogen
I'm gonna go with this, I already avoid jerky and only eat it when given it as a gift

dioxxys posted...
What don't carcinogens only come from cooking food? Beef jerky isn't actually cooked it's dried.

I'd be more worried about the heart diseases associated with red meat
I believe it's the nitrites and shit used to cure it that are carcinogens

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gunplagirl
03/29/22 3:06:22 AM
#36:


The jerky would go bad eventually

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Shotgunnova
03/29/22 3:10:19 AM
#37:


By day, I feed the homeless; by night, I drop fifty million tons of free jerky on my enemies and their properties. True selflessness.

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GGuirao13
03/29/22 4:34:56 AM
#38:


Money.

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pegusus123456
03/29/22 4:36:45 AM
#39:


I take the jerky.

I contact the US military and reveal my power.

I am covertly flown into Moscow where I turn the bag upside down and flood the city with salted beef.

Putin is defeated.

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#40
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Flauros
03/29/22 4:41:05 AM
#41:


I use the beef jerky bag to feed the hungry without expecting a dime in return.

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Strider102
03/29/22 4:41:30 AM
#42:


I'll take the infinite beef jerky please.

Though, I'm a little scared. It's so hard to stop eating it.

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DocDelicious
03/29/22 4:47:49 AM
#43:


The price of jerky has steadily increased over the years.
You're basically giving us a free money printer.

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ShineboxPhil
03/29/22 5:16:41 AM
#44:


that much jerky will constipate the fuck out of you

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Master_Bass
03/29/22 5:21:24 AM
#45:


I never eat beef jerky, so I'll take the cash.

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Illuminoius
03/29/22 6:14:37 AM
#46:


is the beef jerky whatever flavor i want at any given time, or am i stuck with one flavor? is there any beef jerky brand that qualifies as decently-nutritious food?
even if the answer to both of these is no, that's still a lot of food money that i'm saved on
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Dingydang166
03/29/22 6:20:53 AM
#47:


You could easily get more than 5000 doing a magic act involving the beef jerky bag. And since you aren't sharing the beef jerky for monetary as the rules specify, it is all legal.
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LeoRavus
03/31/22 3:25:03 AM
#48:


Illuminoius posted...
is the beef jerky whatever flavor i want at any given time, or am i stuck with one flavor? is there any beef jerky brand that qualifies as decently-nutritious food?
even if the answer to both of these is no, that's still a lot of food money that i'm saved on

You'd just have that one bag that works. Whether it's a store brand or something you make yourself.

Dingydang166 posted...
You could easily get more than 5000 doing a magic act involving the beef jerky bag. And since you aren't sharing the beef jerky for monetary as the rules specify, it is all legal.

That's still making profit from it though. lol

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nexigrams
03/31/22 3:27:04 AM
#49:


Can you imagine actually having unlimited beef jerky? These topics are almost always dumb and have a clear and obvious answer, but at least these one made me think about something as delicious as beef jerky.

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Smackems
03/31/22 3:39:32 AM
#50:


Why the fuck is it called jerky

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