Current Events > Coworker calling me a pussy for wanting 1 month off after childbirth.

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IdiotMachine
01/17/22 6:20:20 PM
#1:


I'm a guy. We have parental leave policy at my workplace where both the mother and father can take 6 weeks off. You can take this time in one week chunks within 1 year of the child's birth.

So I wanted to take 4 weeks off, and save the other 2 weeks for whenever my child gets sick or whatever. I told my manager this, and he's fine with it. I told my coworkers, and this one coworker keeps calling me a pussy for wanting to take more than 2 weeks off... He's like back in his days, you wouldn't take a week or two off at most, that it's a woman's job to bond and be with the newborn.

Now, I've tried talking to him privately, and he just doubles down and calls me a guy with no balls for being offended. I don't really want to go to HR nor his manager, since except for this one instance, he's a pretty nice guy.

So... What are my options here?


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BlackOmnimon
01/17/22 6:21:03 PM
#2:


Block him

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phat32
01/17/22 6:21:23 PM
#3:


IdiotMachine posted...
I'm a guy. We have parental leave policy at my workplace where both the mother and father can take 6 weeks off. You can take this time in one week chunks within 1 year of the child's birth.

So I wanted to take 4 weeks off, and save the other 2 weeks for whenever my child gets sick or whatever. I told my manager this, and he's fine with it. I told my coworkers, and this one coworker keeps calling me a pussy for wanting to take more than 2 weeks off... He's like back in his days, you wouldn't take a week or two off at most, that it's a woman's job to bond and be with the newborn.

Now, I've tried talking to him privately, and he just doubles down and calls me a guy with no balls for being offended. I don't really want to go to HR nor his manager, since except for this one instance, he's a pretty nice guy.

So... What are my options here?
you know what you sound like?
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MFBKBass5
01/17/22 6:21:56 PM
#4:


Report him to hr

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Ivany2008
01/17/22 6:23:19 PM
#5:


He's not your friend. He's a co-worker. If he's acting like an ass and you've tried to deal with it civilly then report his ass to HR.
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No_U_L7
01/17/22 6:23:46 PM
#6:


he's just jealous of your free vacation time

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PMarth2002
01/17/22 6:24:21 PM
#7:


If you've already talked to him in private, than I'd say your options are take it to HR or ignore it until you go on leave and hope he doesn't constantly bring it up afterwards.


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Heartomaton
01/17/22 6:24:40 PM
#8:


Report that backwards ass shit.

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UndefeatedGOAT
01/17/22 6:25:02 PM
#9:


Youll never get that time/those memories back if you dont take it

Dont worry about others opinions
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Solid Snake07
01/17/22 6:25:33 PM
#10:


Sound like he's just jealous you get to be off for a month and a half

Just ignore him

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BuckVanHammer
01/17/22 6:26:24 PM
#11:


you around this dude all the time at work?

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#12
Post #12 was unavailable or deleted.
Kakapo
01/17/22 6:27:20 PM
#13:


phat32 posted...
you know what you sound like?
Someone who wants to spend the time hes entitled to take with his kid?

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Axiom
01/17/22 6:29:05 PM
#14:


IdiotMachine posted...
He's like back in his days
Tell his boomer ass that no one gives a fuck about his old days
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Punished_Blinx
01/17/22 6:29:06 PM
#15:


If it's 'pussy' to want to spend time with your newborn kids then consider me soaking wet and ready for penetration.

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SDBZ
01/17/22 6:29:10 PM
#16:


Just say ok boomer

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phat32
01/17/22 6:29:20 PM
#17:


Kakapo posted...
Someone who wants to spend the time hes entitled to take with his kid?
and then probably whine they don't wanna make him a director or something
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Unite
01/17/22 6:29:48 PM
#18:


Usually you get a year off for mat leave in canada.
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thronedfire2
01/17/22 6:30:21 PM
#19:


I would tell him to shut the fuck up if you really don't want to go to HR

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KogaSteelfang
01/17/22 6:30:37 PM
#20:


Sounds like he's jealous that you get benefits that didn't exist for him. I say ignore it. Take your time off as you discussed with management and let him be sour over it.

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Ar0ge
01/17/22 6:31:00 PM
#21:


Yea just ignore it. You don't even need to defend yourself against him.

Just let him continue to be an ignorant asshole.

You take your time off and enjoy the time with your kid. Because you won't get it back. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

By the way, I'm currently a stay at home dad with no job. I get a lot of shit from a lot of people. But whatever. I embrace being the primary caretaker of my kid and I'm pretty proud of myself honestly. People can just fuck off. I don't care.
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Punished_Blinx
01/17/22 6:31:17 PM
#22:


phat32 posted...
and then probably whine they don't wanna make him a director or something

No wonder directors are assholes if that's the case

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armandro
01/17/22 6:32:01 PM
#23:


does he have kid?

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Unsugarized_Foo
01/17/22 6:32:23 PM
#24:


Tell him to enjoy getting paid to not be at home.

Old school guys appreciate a guy that can tell someone to fuck off. HR will make it worse

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KStateKing17
01/17/22 6:32:35 PM
#25:


He sounds like a bitch.

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PrsdntHeidecker
01/17/22 6:33:01 PM
#26:


If you don't want to take it to HR, I recommend a parking lot fight. Tell him that the next time he calls you a pussy to meet you out there and you'll settle it like men.

You probably won't face any recourse if you whoop his ass because HE is the one that is calling you a pussy. So what does that mean about him if you kicked his ass, helped him to his feet and shook hands after? He will have newfound respect for you and won't slander your character again.

If you go to HR and it is any less than a firing, he has all the verification he needs.

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Smashingpmkns
01/17/22 6:33:26 PM
#27:


Just tell him to shut the fuck up and mind his own business

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brestugo
01/17/22 6:33:39 PM
#28:


Every guy I know that took paternity leave said it was the best family decision they made since becoming a father. Plus it can give mom a much needed break.

Your coworker can go fuck themselves.

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brestugo
01/17/22 6:35:36 PM
#29:


PrsdntHeidecker posted...
If you don't want to take it to HR, I recommend a parking lot fight.

Again with this?

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Guide
01/17/22 6:35:45 PM
#30:


is it even relevant to your life? just tell him he'll raise shit kids with an attitude like that, and to shut the fuck up, and then go to hr.

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DespondentDeity
01/17/22 6:36:04 PM
#31:


Ask him about his relationship with his children.

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Raikuro
01/17/22 6:36:33 PM
#32:


That guy is too much of a bitch to dare ask his employer for time off, pussy whipped by corporate overlords
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KaZooo
01/17/22 6:37:37 PM
#33:


You have to get in his ass TC. Don't hold me liable or responsible for any trouble you get in, but get in his ass - immediately. You let that man slide today. Telling you your newborn has zero importance in the face of routine work. That's not acceptable.

Get in his ass. Newspapers. Snicker bars, all that shit. Spray paint "TC was here", then step out, leave the door open, so he knows you been there.

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KStateKing17
01/17/22 6:38:17 PM
#34:


brestugo posted...
Again with this?
Honestly, I suggested the same to a coworker that was talking shit about me to customers. Never had an issue with him again.

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BuckVanHammer
01/17/22 6:38:37 PM
#35:


a real man gives back that time and then asks for ot bro

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Southernfatman
01/17/22 6:40:51 PM
#36:


Wonder about his relationship with his kids if he has any. Wouldn't surprise me if he was a hard ass dad who showed little love to his kids.

The boomer "back in my day" BS just needs to be answered with "Well, we ain't back in the day".

KaZooo posted...
You have to get in his ass TC. Don't hold me liable or responsible for any trouble you get in, but get in his ass - immediately. You let that man slide today. Telling you your newborn has zero importance in the face of routine work. That's not acceptable.

Get in his ass. Newspapers. Snicker bars, all that shit. Spray paint "TC was here", then step out, leave the door open, so he knows you been there.

lol Leon.

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IdiotMachine
01/17/22 6:41:12 PM
#37:


So to mass answer some questions:
  • He's a lead engineer in my work unit, so I don't really want to piss him off nor go against him too much, hence why I didn't want to really go to HR.
  • I think he's in his late 50s; he has two children, and the younger one just graduated college last year.
  • I will absolutely take time off. I don't care what he says. My direct manager was open for me to take any time off as I need. He also had a child last year, so he's very open to me using as much time as I need.
  • lol @ "fight him".
  • I guess I'll just ignore him and stop trying to talk to him outside of work topics and see where we go from there.

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Medussa
01/17/22 6:41:27 PM
#38:


just laugh at him. "the future is now, old man"

i'd recommend against the nut punch, though.

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Jiek_Fafn
01/17/22 6:43:10 PM
#39:


Imply that he couldn't spend more than 2 weeks with a kid without molesting it. You're not a disgusting monster, so you're fine.

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thronedfire2
01/17/22 6:43:42 PM
#40:


Yeah just make sure you tell him to have fun working before you leave on your last day before the time off

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MegaCamerupt
01/17/22 6:45:46 PM
#41:


IdiotMachine posted...
So... What are my options here?
Don't ask this if you're not going to take anyone's advice. If you aren't going to report him to HR just because he's in a "lead" position then he might be right about you.
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pogo_rabid
01/17/22 6:47:21 PM
#42:


Going to HR would be a mistake unless he's going out of his way to harass you about it out of the blue. tbqh, it was a mistake to tell your coworkers in the first place, it's none of their business.

I wouldn't have even spoken with him privately about it, all it does is cause friction for the future. Just let it slide, take your time, and don't talk with this person outside of the necessary work related correspondence.

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MabusIncarnate
01/17/22 6:47:25 PM
#43:


Take it to HR. Don't discuss it further with him, and document what you can to remember details. That's ridiculous at the work place, it's none of his business what you do for your family, and lmao if he thinks a fuckin job is more important.

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Kiyune
01/17/22 6:49:32 PM
#44:


Heartomaton posted...
Report that backwards ass shit.


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Heartomaton
01/17/22 7:10:08 PM
#46:


I'm sure you already know this, but please do not follow PrsdntHeideker's advice. He is living in a reality far removed from our own.

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wackyteen
01/17/22 7:16:21 PM
#47:


Just tell him that you apologize on behalf of his absent tee father that never showed him love

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gunplagirl
01/17/22 7:17:52 PM
#48:


Ivany2008 posted...
He's not your friend. He's a co-worker. If he's acting like an ass and you've tried to deal with it civilly then report his ass to HR.
This

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ModLogic
01/17/22 7:20:34 PM
#49:


just tell him he is entitled to his backwards views but ask him to keep it to himself.

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BuckVanHammer
01/17/22 7:21:36 PM
#50:


I'd probably not go to hr and just stick to the bare minimum work relationship. keep it professional, but don't engage in small talk or any of that shit.


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HistoricHero
01/17/22 7:21:50 PM
#51:


Hes a pretty nice guy

*acts like a piece of shit*
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