Current Events > American Masculinity partly to blame for Male Lonliness.

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://twitter.com/TheEconomist/status/1476957073904738311

why men care so much about how other men act is a huge problem Ill never understand. Its no wonder so many men just clam up and keep to themselves. Theyre told showing emotions or opening up is women behavior and men should just shut up and suck it up. That definitely leads to social problems not just exclusive to loneliness.

Ironically men "opening up" is a huge turn off for women, as this meme illustrates

https://i.redd.it/yh3hvca0anl11.png

@STEROLIZER CaN yOu ReLaTe too, son? ._.

Men express their feelings by being alone

Do you have a no paywall link?

One might say this masculinity is toxic in nature

WorsCaseOntario posted...

Ironically men "opening up" is a huge turn off for women, as this meme illustrates

https://i.redd.it/yh3hvca0anl11.png

Thats kind of a dumb meme. Ive been able to open up with my partners and I have many female friends who are there for me as well. There is a difference between being open emotionally and being needy emotionally.

I can't believe toxic masculinity is bad, fucking SJWs why didn't they tell us?!

Are men really just defective women?

And yet the loneliest and most pathetic men are the least masculine and wear their hearts on their sleeves openly crying about girls and life in general.

If "masculinity" was bad, most guys still posting here would be happy and successful.

Toxic masculinity doesnt exist, its toxic people that exist.

Fony posted...

And yet the loneliest and most pathetic men are the least masculine and wear their hearts on their sleeves openly crying about girls and life in general.

If "masculinity" was bad, most guys still posting here would be happy and successful.

See here is the problem. You think there are only two ways to be. Crying and girly or tough and manly. Thats toxic. There is a middle ground here. Stop being threatened by your own emotions.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

In my experience emotional maturity is a turn on, or at the very least healthy in a relationship. If you think the only way youre supposed to be around a girl is stoic and hold everything in youre either gonna be alone or be with women who make you feel just as lonely.

I'd have to imagine America has loneliness problems w/ both men and women, especially once the demographic gets to 35+ or so and you're just focusing on adults cohabitating. That high divorce rate has consequences eventually.

But I think America in general has major societal problems, dating a few decades back, dealing with how people are expected to start new nuclear families and not really look back.

Not a terrible ideal in thought, but in practice, it means if you can't maintain a new familial group, the alternative is just chilling on your own perpetually.

Toxic masculinity circle jerk incoming.

AloneIBreak posted...

Toxic masculinity circle jerk incoming.

You seem upset

Doom_Art posted...

You seem upset

how can you tell he's so stoic

AloneIBreak posted...

Toxic masculinity circle jerk incoming.

sorry you dont know how to tell us youre upset about it interrupting your masculine circle jerk :(

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qYpx2KkDzSg

"partly to blame"

so what are the other parts...?

youre crazy if you think its all caused by men lol

NonDairyMiltank posted...

so what are the other parts...?

Alienation from labor, alcoholism, five eggs (beaten), and two cups of butter.

Arcanine2009 posted...

@STEROLIZER CaN yOu ReLaTe too, son? ._.

No. I've not been lonely in terms of physical love since 2009

IShall_Run_Amok posted...

Alienation from labor, alcoholism, five eggs (beaten), and two cups of butter.

and interactions they have with toxic women who also unapologetically perpetuate standards of "toxic masculinity" in their expectations

even the first woman they ever met can be a tyrant with gender norms that include double standards she imposes on her impressionable children, part of the reason so many boys and men don't bother to seek sympathy for male issues from women is because their own mother sent the message to not even bother...

VipaGTS posted...

why men care so much about how other men act is a huge problem Ill never understand. Its no wonder so many men just clam up and keep to themselves. Theyre told showing emotions or opening up is women behavior and men should just shut up and suck it up. That definitely leads to social problems not just exclusive to loneliness.

No we aren't, who even is telling us this? Most man are raised by woman, most adult authority and influential figures in they're lives are woman. More so then at any other point in history but this issue is more prominent then ever now. Nor are there any male role models in mainstream telling them to claim up either. So why are you blaiming masculinity?

Man and woman aren't the same. We don't show our emotions becuase, 1, we generally dislike doing so openly, and for fathers, older brothers and bosses would rather die atop their horse's. And most of all, woman don't like it.

Jx1010 posted...

Toxic masculinity doesnt exist

It clearly does.

VipaGTS posted...

Thats kind of a dumb meme. Ive been able to open up with my partners and I have many female friends who are there for me as well. There is a difference between being open emotionally and being needy emotionally.

This 100%

STEROLIZER posted...

No. I've not been lonely in terms of physical love since 2009

physical lonely though

WorsCaseOntario posted...

Ironically men "opening up" is a huge turn off for women, as this meme illustrates

https://i.redd.it/yh3hvca0anl11.png

Rookie User

A few posters here appear to either be purposefully misunderstanding or trying to find a way to make this all women's fault.

I read that as American Masculinity partly to blame for Male Lioness.

Fony posted...

And yet the loneliest and most pathetic men are the least masculine and wear their hearts on their sleeves openly crying about girls and life in general.

If "masculinity" was bad, most guys still posting here would be happy and successful.

I love how this guy completely misses the point.

It's not about whether an individual is "manly" or not, it's about how men in general are conditioned to isolate themselves and not seek out genuine relationships with other men

Adding to that, the implication that it's "unmanly" or "feminine" to become friends with other guys is toxic masculinity in a nutshell
(as well as the implication that femininity is somehow bad in itself, I guess women are deserving of pity for not being men)

Arcanine2009 posted...

physical lonely though

Wat?

Article is behind a pay wall

J03can posted...

This 100%

He is, but the problem here is that there are a lot of very stupid posters who don't understand that level nuance.

STEROLIZER posted...

Wat?

shit I mean emotionally lonely though.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Why does it have to be framed in this lens? Are men only supposed to do things to attract the opposite sex? Can you not understand how detrimental that is?

"Oh so you're saying men being masculine at all is toxic? I am very intelligent."

Blogging but:

Theres a whole generation raised telling them "Being emotional, expressing it or crying is bad for men. Dont do it"

Then when theyre in their late 20s or older you tell them that thats actually wrong.

Its too late. Theyre programmed to not be emotional, other than showing anger.

As a man personally I never got where the whole idea men are supposed to be emotionally closed off comes from. But to be fair, I come from a much more traditional culture where toxic masculinity is more of a thing than it is here, so coming to West was like a whole new world opened up to me about how I can choose to express myself because plurality of expression is more tolerated in the west. Granted being more comfortable in my own skin and expressing my feelings more openly is still something I had to learn as I got older, I think I was a bigger obstacle to myself than society was in telling me not to be open.

David1988 posted...

But to be fair, I come from a much more traditional culture where toxic masculinity is more of a thing than it is here, so coming to West was like a whole new world opened up to me about how I can choose to express myself because plurality of expression is more tolerated in the west.

Where were you before, if you don't mind me asking?

DrizztLink posted...

Where were you before, if you don't mind me asking?

I grew up the first 7 years in Bangladesh before immigrating to the states, but I still spent quite a bit of time there in my teens before my health issues and doctors advised I shouldnt visit there. They are a bit more modern and secular in their thinking now, but the small town im from was very traditional in terms of gender roles and such like women working and whatnot

The real problem loneliness is people don't want to admit they might be bad people because they do or may have done bad, stupid, crazy things and no sane person who isn't like them, wants anything to do with them, so they double down on toxicity and only repulse more people.

For example, people in parts of my neighborhood are criminal scumbag assholes and when I'm out running errands and shit they try to be like "What's up homie? What's good? How you doing, etc.?" and try to act friendly and strike up a conversation in passing when I'm just trying to go about my day and get the fuck away from them because they obvious want something from me and I'm not going to give them the chance to get / take it. So outside of romantic relationships and family people just stick to becoming friends via likemindedness and careers. It's hard to just make friends these days because there are a lot of bad people out there, and everyone is looking to gain something from the friendship, and don't have time to waste otherwise.

Alright, thank you.

I was just curious, I'm not building up to anything.

The part I can actually read of the article says part of it is they're increasingly spending time with their children, not friends.

This is not a bad thing.