Current Events > Kojima and MGS Portable Ops

(+) Yeah! (+)

Kojima leaves on a long vacation

Kojima: Alright, you boys be good now. I'm leaving MGS in your hands. I'm off to take a long needed vacation before I resume directing, producing, voice acting, and developing MGS4.

The team starts to work on Portable Ops in Kojima's absence.

Short haired developer: This is a sequel to MGS3. I doubt there will be any more after this because we will be wrapping up with MGS4. There won't be a hack and slash cyborg game, or four more Big Boss games - one of them being an overpriced demo and the last of which has no Big Boss at all and isn't even made by Kojima and is about zombies. So this is our last chance to do whatever we want to do from this time period.

Recently divorced developer: What the fuck are you? A prophet? How do you know those won't exist?

Long haired developer: Let's put in Gray Fox

Short haired developer: Good idea. Let's put in a young Roy Campbell too.

Recently Divorced Developer: What the fuck are you guys thinking? Put new characters. You shouldn't take such liberties. Only Kojima should.

"Let's give The Boss another disciple! His name is Gene."

"Let's give Big Boss another mentor. Like an older brother of sorts. Let's call him Python. The anti Snake."

RD Developer: What? No, stop it!

Short haired and long haired developer whoop RD developer's ass and tie him up.

Long haired developer: Now we can add in Army's Heaven without anyone stopping us.

Short haired developer: And we should call the online "Portable Ops online!" POO for short!

Long haired developer: And later we will release an expansion called Portable Ops Plus! Portable Ops Online Plus! POOP for short!

Short Haired Developer: Good idea.

Many months pass by. Kojima returns.

Kojima: Wow. Look at this gameplay. I feel like I'm playing Snake Eater but on the go.

Developer: Mr Koji-

Kojima: I told you to call me Kamisama when we are at work.

Developer: Kamisama, Do you want us to transfer some more elements from Snake Eater into the game?

Kojima: What did you say?

Developer: I said, should we trans-

Kojima: *slaps developer on the mouth* We don't use that language around here. I told you already. I invented "transfarr" which is the word "transfer" but better because it was created by me. It is my gift to the world.

Developer 2: We will begin transfarring more elements from MGS3 sir.

Kojima spends a week playing the game.

Kojima: Why do I have to pick up and drag a soldier aaaaaallllll the way to the beginning of the fucking level? Put boxes throughout the level to make it faster you incompetent fucks. We don't have the budget to fix this properly anymore. We spent the last of it at the brothel yesterday. Nobody wants to drag a body from the end all the way back to the beginning. Who decided this? Are you trying to fuck up my legacy? The legacy collection was about to be released. Now we will have to delay it a few years.

(later)

Kojima: What the fuck is Army's Heaven? That sounds like a strip club. Let me show you my genius first hand. Look how fast I come up with this. If you want a strip club you'll make it Ocelot's. And the name will be "Big Pussy's Fish House" and the mascot will be an Ocelot with a fish in its mouth. They serve fish and seafood at that strip club and it makes the soldiers lose morale, forcing you to improve it. Also.... You guys brought Sokolov back? Is he actually a ghost or is that just his code name?

Developer: It's his code name. He survived.

Kojima: If it's a code name you want, why didn't you call him long throat?

Developer: uhh.....

Kojima: Cancel the MGS4 connectivity we talked about in the last Game Informer interview. We will still sell this game, but I will secretly make it again and like old coke, we will bring it back better than ever.

Developer: Can I add a character named Lycan?

Kojima: Why? Is he a werewolf?

Developer: No. His back story is he is from brazi-*tells back story that takes a whole hour to explain* and so at the end, he realizes he CAN lie. So he goes by Lycan.

Kojima: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever fucking heard.

I enjoyed it enough despite the controls

Still x10 than the trash that was PW

RedLuigi posted...

Still x10 than the trash that was PW

Doubt

RedLuigi posted...

Still x10 than the trash that was PW

lol

And the story ended up fantastic whilst Kojima's Peace Walker story was medicore.

RedLuigi posted...

Still x10 than the trash that was PW

Peace Walker is a contender for the best MGS game.