Current Events > Turns out you guys where right about the girl I was dating.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Oh damn

Anyways.

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KaZooo posted...

You were the best she ever had. Let that regret sink in her

from her mouth

Bishop9800 posted...

lesson learned.

move on.......

yeap, Im sure she has one more thing she wants to get off her chest that shell say in the morning but at this point i feel like its nothing she can say that wouldnt either reenforce the established opinion I have of the situation or established that a lie was told somewhere.

I doubt we will talk for a while.


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gamepimp12 posted...

yeap, Im sure she has one more thing she wants to get off her chest that shell say in the morning but at this point i feel like its nothing she can say that wouldnt either reenforce the established opinion I have of the situation or established that a lie was told somewhere.

Ehh, I dont think thats a good idea.

She should not have access to you like that. Its basically letting her have the last word and letting her know she still has some power over you, no matter what you say. IMO, you gotta let her know there are consequences for her choices, but letting her know does not mean you have to tell her that. Just walk away, for your own sake.

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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Ehh, I dont think thats a good idea.

She should not have access to you like that. Its basically letting her have the last word and letting her know she still has some power over you, no matter what you say. IMO, you gotta let her know there are consequences for her choices, but letting her know does not mean you have to tell her that. Just walk away, for your own sake.

I mean I did walk away, Im over the situation, its nothing she can say or do that would resolve the situation, especially over night. Her phone number isnt blocked and that and the fact she went to work in the middle of our argument is why I feel like she probably has more to say.


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gamepimp12 posted...

Ehh it wasnt a large amount of money to me.

I knew her for almost 2 years

It was definitely a lot of money for someone you had only dated for a couple of months. She knew that too
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Sucks, man. I kind of did that to a girl ages ago. She was really nice and "on paper" it made sense to be together and she was really into me, so I kind of tried to go through the motions but I just wasn't into it. I can get in your case that the girl may have been dragging it out just in hopes that her feelings would change.

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Best of luck going forward TC
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One_Day_Remains posted...

It was definitely a lot of money for someone you had only dated for a couple of months. She knew that too

ehh not so much when the biggest interest we have in common is fashion and sneakers. Most of that money was split between her birthday, 20 dollars here or there to make sure she ate and picking up her size when I buy sneakers for myself if possible.

and your right she did know.

The Top Crusader posted...

Sucks, man. I kind of did that to a girl ages ago. She was really nice and "on paper" it made sense to be together and she was really into me, so I kind of tried to go through the motions but I just wasn't into it. I can get in your case that the girl may have been dragging it out just in hopes that her feelings would change.

I wouldnt even be mad if this was the case, cause weve all been there. But based on what she says its not.

She didnt want a relationship, I knew that prior to anything happening between us, I wasnt sold on one myself. But apparently her not wanting a relationship, also meant she could not have any romantic feelings for anyone right now and she never said that, despite the many conversations about us dating and the fact I told her I treat her like my girlfriend.

It should of never got that far if she knew She didnt feel the same, but she loved everything I did for her so I guess she felt obligated to play along

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I dont know the backstory. Did you give some chick money?

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Shit sucks. Learn to filter for this better in the future and don't get attached to someone unless it's mutual.

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MrDrMan posted...

I dont know the backstory. Did you give some chick money?

started casually dating a friend in July , shortly after she went about 2 hours away for school.

over the last 5 months I probably spent between 1500-2000 on her, saw her about a dozen times(would of been more but shes a student athlete) and we regularly spoke about dating and a potential relationship and both agreed that now isnt a good time.

Over the last 4 weeks, especially so over the last 2 weeks weve been arguing over plans, time management and her double booking herself and scheduling plans with me that she knew she probably wouldnt be able keep unless things went 100% her way.

those arguments came of a head when before thanksgiving she said she felt obligated to see me as much as possible, even though I never asked for it, and they really boiled over Monday when she said she never felt the same way about me that i did about her.

that set me off cause why are we talking about dating if you dont have feelings for me, and how is that something that I dont know for 5 months

Master Kazuya posted...

Shit sucks. Learn to filter for this better in the future and don't get attached to someone unless it's mutual.

we talked about dating and called each other pet names it was pretty reasonable to assume it was mutual.

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I calm down a bit today did send her a text today about apologizing for my hand in this.

I still dont understand the lie/ misunderstanding/whatever the fucks going on regarding our feelings from her POV

But the one part that is clear is that she felt obligated to me because of everything I did for her, and the dynamic I was pushing clearly wasnt good for her and I should of recognized that earlier.

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Not your business anymore. Drop it. Make your own closure and realize it does not matter

if things ended right here Im content.


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gamepimp12 posted...

She didnt want a relationship, I knew that prior to anything happening between us, I wasnt sold on one myself. But apparently her not wanting a relationship, also meant she could not have any romantic feelings for anyone right now and she never said that, despite the many conversations about us dating and the fact I told her I treat her like my girlfriend.

What is this? 500 Days of Summer?

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Things are done. Shes said what shes said. She wasnt into it romantically. Theres nothing you can do to change that. I dont know if youre trying to just keep things back as friends or what but yall need some real time off for that to really happen

Based on what Im hearing from friends etc its a misunderstanding and has been blown out of proportions.

but even then, even if she picked a poor choice of words, that really on her for not realizing how important it was to hear she was here because of me at that moment.

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Well we spoke again.

a lot more clarity about how each other feels, she understand how I blew up the way I did now.

she feels really offended that id question her character, like that but she does get how terrible her word choice was.

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ask her to pay you back

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OP, did you ever watch 500 Days of Summer? Your "relationship" sounds almost 1-1 the plot of that movie.

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gamepimp12 posted...

she feels really offended that id question her character

Of course she would try to turn the blame and guilt back to you. Just end that non-relationship there.

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You have pimp in your name start acting like it lol. She played with your heart, you have nothing to apologize for. Just move the fuck on, you are never going to get the closure you want. The version of her in your head isn't the real her. Sorry, it happens and I went through it too, not even a month ago.

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Sad_Face posted...

OP, did you ever watch 500 Days of Summer? Your "relationship" sounds almost 1-1 the plot of that movie.

Its honestly one of my favorite movies that I resonate with pretty well..

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Spoke again, well honestly its been just a continuation of the last conversation because weve been too busy to finish an actual conversation.

she feels like I blew everything out of proportion but she can understand how it got there. Shes upset I questioned her character and said it was wrong for me to assume just cause she cant have feelings for me that I wasnt special/important to her in that way. To a certain extent I think were just both tired of fighting, as weve had some sort of tension for like a month now.

dont know whats next. But we probably taking space/time between us.

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gamepimp12 posted...

dont know whats next. But we probably taking space/time between us.

Probably?

im confused why youre putting up with her nonsense.

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I'm sorry things didn't go well between you.

At the time, I sympathized with her because I do think that money can change how people treat each other. I still feel indebted to my old best friend, despite having stopped being friends with him 8 months ago. I let a lot of resentment simmer inside instead of asserting myself because I didn't want to rock the boat, because I felt like I had taken advantage of his generosity and owed him for that.

So when you spend a lot of money on someone, they can feel obligated to spend time with you. And that can be confusing, and it can breed resentment. My case is extreme, I knew my best friend for 8 years and you knew this girl for 6 months - I'm not saying she soured on you because of the money. But I am asserting that treating a person all the time and spending a lot of money on them can change a relationship for the worse.

That's a boundary you might have to exercise the next time you're in a relationship. Buying presents and covering the tab is fine on and off, you're dating after all, but consider approaching things from the perspective that she's her own person with her own wealth of resources, and you're the same. When you want to spend time together, you'll both find a way to make it happen.

At least that's my opinion, you're better off listening to someone with more experience. But that's what I think. Either way, I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out, and I hope the next one's better.

Edit: after skimming the past few posts, it sounds like you definitely need space. Even if it's hard, and you need to have a few bummed out midnight trips through the Taco Bell drive-thru.

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Sorry man. Girls say they don't lead you on, and in some cases they may be true... but don't tell you when they lose interest either, and just completely waste your time.

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