Current Events > Assassins Creed when the Assassins finally lose for good

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Assassins Creed: Afterlife

The Assassins and the Templars are finally in their final battle. All of it takes place in the after life.

Ezio comes screaming out of the clouds with angel wings.

Ezio: Rodrigo, you hijo de puta! (The AC Afterlife devs are the same people who worked on foreign languages in Resident Evil 4)

Rodrigo confronts Ezio with small devil wings that can barely hold him up in the air.

Ezio: We are gonna settle this once and for all, you sluts!!!!!! pulls out a pistol and an ak-47 and starts shooting all the Templars like crazy TAKE THAT YOU MOTHER #&$@ERS

Kassandra appears and starts beating the crap out of an army of Templars with only her fists.

Eivor shows up screaming like a lunatic holding a grenade, willing to kamikaze as she knows she will respawn anyway.

Altair: THIS ENDS NOW. NO SEQUELS, NO PREQUELS, NO MICRO TRANSACTIONS, NO FUCKING WATCH DOGS THEORIES, DIE PUSSIES

Achilles: IT'S TIME TO REDEEM MYSELF gets his ass whooped and has to use a peg leg AUGH

It turns out that Ubisoft was using UPlay all along to see how much DLC you paid for.

UPlay has tracked all of it over the years to determine which ending you will get. If you bought a lot of DLC over the years, the Assassins win. If you didn't and you bought all your games used, the assassins lose.

Turns out you bought every bit of DLC but you never got the George Washington DLC because you didn't pre-order Assassins Creed III.

Ezio: My whole life... My legacy. All of it was for nothing because you bought all of the fucking games USED you cheap ass. We LOST. THERE WAS NO MEANING TO ANY OF THIS. EVERY GUARD YOU KILLED. EVERY TOWER YOU CLIMBED. EVERY TROPHY YOU GOT ON PS3 AND PS4 AND PS5. ALL OF IT WAS A WASTE YOU & #@$ING BUFFOON.
You thought Desmond dying was bad? This is a million times worse....

And thus... The Assassins.... Finally lost. For good.

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this reads like a joke but someday it's gonna be true

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Bump

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Ubisoft is now making this canon, congrats TC for giving them a free ending idea.

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How long have you been a part of the UbiSoft team?

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