Poll of the Day > Would you allow your wife to go on dates with a male friend?

(+) Yeah! (+)

grab a cup a coffee and talk about life?

That isn't a date, it's going for a cup of coffee.

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I don't really think "allow" factors into it at all, she is my wife, not my property. If she wants to go out and do stuff with friends then she doesn't need my permission to do it. That said, I am with someone with the expectation that we are in a monogamous relationship and I expect her to honor that. If she doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship anymore then I expect her to tell me so that we can discuss it and (most likely) go our separate ways to peruse what we want. If she breaks that trust, then that is her fault and she can't expect me to ever trust her again.

Of course, all this mostly applies to being in a relationship with someone, because I think the concept of marriage is outdated and stupid anyways. I don't need a government or legal entity to validate my relationship. And I certainly don't need a church to do it.

So yea, I am fine with her going out for coffee with a male friend. I just expect that to be all that happens.

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ReturnOfFa posted...

That isn't a date, it's going for a cup of coffee.

true but can a guy just be a friend? or do most males want to just knock boots

My wife hangs out with male friends, but they're friends that I'm pretty familiar with. I'd be kinda weirded out if she was going to get dinner or coffee with a dude I didn't know though.

Dikitain posted...

I don't really think "allow" factors into it at all, she is my wife, not my property. If she wants to go out and do stuff with friends then she doesn't need my permission to do it.

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teddy241 posted...

true but can a guy just be a friend? or do most males want to just knock boots

They cannnn be just friends but it's rare. Men will for the sake of female company will reassure the girl "oh yeah we are just friends" but the moment he'd get his chance he would rail her. Worse if you throw alcohol or weed into the mix because people get inexplicably horny then.

If a girl wants to hang with opposite sex friends many times you'll have the husband/boyfriend tag along. Coffee seems casual enough though.

Though lots of the users here are simps/cucks and will even argue that you can...wait for it....engage in platonic cuddling

teddy241 posted...

true but can a guy just be a friend? or do most males want to just knock boots

I feel like there was a topic about this a while back. Yes. I expect to have female friends while in a relationship and I do not wish to control my partner's male friends.

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Dates? No
A cup of coffee? No

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I feel like the opposing point of view is generalist Jordan Peterson 'women always do this and men always do that' runoff garbage.

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dioxxys posted...

They cannnn be just friends but it's rare. Men will for the sake of female company will reassure the girl "oh yeah we are just friends" but the moment he'd get his chance he would rail her.

Guys think they are being sly, but I promise you, we know. The only girls who pretend not to are the promiscuous ones who want to maybe keep you on the hook for a future lay, but arent interested enough in you now.

If you regularly put your SO into a position that will make them insecure, then you are a pretty shitty partner.

-inb4 a bunch of cheaters who want to keep their options open come in to say that a relationship is not a partnership and if they make you insecure it's your probem-

Notschmendrake posted...

Guys think they are being sly, but I promise you, we know. The only girls who pretend not to are the promiscuous ones who want to maybe keep you on the hook for a future lay, but arent interested enough in you now.

If you regularly put your SO into a position that will make them insecure, then you are a pretty shitty partner.

-inb4 a bunch of cheaters who want to keep their options open come in to say that a relationship is not a partnership and if they make you insecure it's your probem-

Why would spending time with friends make them insecure? It sounds like assuming that they're a harpy would make them a little more insecure lmfao. Not to mention your own insecurity.

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having friends = being a cheater

for some

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I always wonder what the people who say "no" would be like if thier partner was Bi/Pan, are they not allowed to have friends at all then? Or are these the same people who belive in Bi Erasure and think once you're dating someone of a specific sex then you're automatically Straight/Gay?

I understand the people who say "no" to an extent regardless though, I'm a very paranoid person who's been cheated on before so having them go out even for something casual is enough to set my head spinning with intrusive thoughts of them cheating.

ReturnOfFa posted...

Why would spending time with friends make them insecure? It sounds like assuming that they're a harpy would make them a little more insecure lmfao. Not to mention your own insecurity.

See, and then this is what they do. They feign that they are oblivious.

"Why would your husband/wife hanging out with someone who clearly wants to rail them make someone insecure?"

"She's just a friend! Promise! I know my behaviour is suspicious, but trust me! Nobody has EVER lied to their significant other before sneaking behind their back for some strange, so please dont be insecure when I put myself in a clear and obvious position to do so"

I trust my husband with my life, and I trust him because he is trust worthy. One of many things that make him trustworthy is the fact that he doesnt go out and regularly put himself in positions that test that trust. Our relationship has lasted more than half my life with no abuse, no cheating, and no resentment. Just love, respect and wilder sex than any of you are likely to ever see in your lives.

I dont want or need to keep my options open, which is the actual reason why cheaters say the shit they say and act the way they act. They want to keep their choices and they will act like something is wrong with you if you're not comfortable with that.

Forget them and walk away. They ain't worth it.

I go out and get drinks or whatever with female friends so I don't really see the big deal with it honestly

Also men and women can be friends, even if you wanna bang them, you can think someone is hot and still enjoy their friendship.

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Notschmendrake posted...

Just love, respect and wilder sex than any of you are likely to ever see in your lives.

You are definitely a virgin lmao

sodium-chloride posted...

Something modworthy

Not the insult you think it is, but hey, most sexually immature guys will resort to either "slut" or "virgin" when a girl disagrees with them on matters of sex, so I'm pretty used to it.

Notschmendrake posted...

See, and then this is what they do. They feign that they are oblivious.

"Why would your husband/wife hanging out with someone who clearly wants to rail them make someone insecure?"

"She's just a friend! Promise! I know my behaviour is suspicious, but trust me! Nobody has EVER lied to their significant other before sneaking behind their back for some strange, so please dont be insecure when I put myself in a clear and obvious position to do so"

I trust my husband with my life, and I trust him because he is trust worthy. One of many things that make him trustworthy is the fact that he doesnt go out and regularly put himself in positions that test that trust. Our relationship has lasted more than half my life with no abuse, no cheating, and no resentment. Just love, respect and wilder sex than any of you are likely to ever see in your lives.

I dont want or need to keep my options open, which is the actual reason why cheaters say the shit they say and act the way they act. They want to keep their choices and they will act like something is wrong with you if you're not comfortable with that.

Forget them and walk away. They ain't worth it.

Glad that works for you. Weird you think everyone operates in the exact same ways as yourself and your husband.

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Having friends isn't 'keeping your options open'. Unless you're with an extremely dishonest person.

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Notschmendrake posted...

Not the insult you think it is, but hey, most sexually immature guys will resort to either "slut" or "virgin" when a girl disagrees with them on matters of sex, so I'm pretty used to it.

Calling you a liar isn't mod worthy you turnip

sodium-chloride posted...

Calling you a liar isn't mod worthy you turnip

So in addition to being a sexist pig you're also completely unaware? Cool.

ReturnOfFa posted...

Having friends isn't 'keeping your options open'. Unless you're with an extremely dishonest person.

Like the sort of person who would feign ignorance about why someone may be uncomfortable with their SO hanging out with someone of the opposite gender? That sort of dishonesty?

Seems pretty inherent to your character. Wow, what do you know, the shoe fits.

Notschmendrake posted...

So in addition to being a sexist pig you're also completely unaware? Cool.

If calling you a virgin is sexist then I'm pretty sexy

Literally "If a girl disagrees with me about sex then they must be a virgin or a slut"

Someones upset that no ladies want to touch his nasty little peepee lol.

Notschmendrake posted...

Like the sort of person who would feign ignorance about why someone may be uncomfortable with their SO hanging out with someone of the opposite gender? That sort of dishonesty?

Seems pretty inherent to your character. Wow, what do you know, the shoe fits.

What?

Listen, if you are uncomfortable with your SO hanging out with someone of the opposite gender, that's fine. That's for you.

That's not how I operate, and I don't date people that operate that way either. Your personal experiences don't mirror my personal experiences, sorry. You're entitled to operate in that way, I'm just communicating my experiences with people that operate in similar ways to you. In my experience, I do not want to 'rail' every female friend I have, and would not do so if 'given the opportunity'. If that's not how you and your partner think of things, that's fine. We're having a discussion. Unsure why you have to paint me as someone who is looking to cheat simply having female friends. Some people might be like that, but assuming that literally everyone is the same is extremely strange to me.

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ReturnOfFa posted...

What?

There he goes being dishonest again.

Do you have an SO? Should they be worried?

Go host a TV show if you think you understand every relationship in the world. Solve everyone's problems Dr. Notschmendrake. You can have people on that are completely comfortable in their relationships and criticize how they conduct their friendships. It'll be great.

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You want friends? You FILTHY SLUT!!!

-basically how it comes off

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Only if I get to watch them fuck afterwards

ReturnOfFa posted...

You want friends? You FILTHY SLUT!!!

-basically how it comes off

You dont want me to hang out with a guy who clearly wants to rail me while I PRETEND to be ignorant of his intentions? YOURE INSECURE!

-baisically how it comes off.

And the bill fits. You've been feigning that ignorance the entire topic because you are dishonest. Like a cheater.

Notschmendrake posted...

You dont want me to hang out with a guy who clearly wants to rail me while I PRETEND to be ignorant of his intentions? YOURE INSECURE!

-baisically how it comes off.

And the bill fits. You've been feigning that ignorance the entire topic because you are dishonest. Like a cheater.

Why're you only hanging out with guys that want to rail you?

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Would you ever go for a coffee with me @Notschmendrake ?

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ReturnOfFa posted...

Would you ever go for a coffee with me @Notschmendrake ?

He's not a real person dude is a troll bot made by ceejaycee himself

sodium-chloride posted...

He's not a real person dude is a troll bot made by ceejaycee himself

If they're a bot, they've said they're female ;)

I'd like to show her what it's like to go for a platonic coffee with someone who doesn't want to 'rail' XD

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ReturnOfFa posted...

Why're you only hanging out with guys that want to rail you?

I suppose it's just a consequence of being an even mildly attractive female, or a wealthy/attractive male.

I guess you wouldnt get it ;)

Notschmendrake posted...

I suppose it's just a consequence of being an even mildly attractive female, or a wealthy/attractive male.

I guess you wouldnt get it ;)

Wanna bang

Did that seem like a cool post to you when you typed it out?

My wife doesn't have any male friends other than relatives.
I have a female friend (well, more than one, but most "friends" I consider more like "acquaintances", my definition is narrower than most peoples'). She's my best friend's sister. I've known both of them since elementary school, and will often spend time with either of them when I can. My female friend and I are not interested in each other and never have been. I STILL make it a point to always ask my wife if she wants to join me when I'm going to go spend time w/ the female friend.
It's sort of like conflict of interest. It's not enough to not have it. You should also strive to avoid even the appearance of conflict of interest.
Just always been my view. Same would apply for her. So I guess my answer is "no".
If your significant other wants to spend time w/ someone of the opposite gender and expressly wants it to be without you / you're not invited, to me that's an instant red flag.... I'd immediately wonder why. (edit: for hetero relationships, I mean... I have no experience or "right" to talk about how homo relationships would work)

dioxxys posted...

They cannnn be just friends but it's rare. Men will for the sake of female company will reassure the girl "oh yeah we are just friends" but the moment he'd get his chance he would rail her. Worse if you throw alcohol or weed into the mix because people get inexplicably horny then.

Uh, it absolutely works the other way, too. Some women intentionally keep "orbiters" (simps) around as a backup plan, and basically always have one foot pre-emptively out of the door in a relationship.
It's every bit as toxic and fucked up as the male example you cited.

Though lots of the users here are simps/cucks and will even argue that you can...wait for it....engage in platonic cuddling

Oh man, I remember that topic. One poster got so pissed off at me for calling it cheating (which it is). Story was about a woman w/ a BF that'd hire other guys to "platonic" cuddle w/ her while she was away on travel for work.

:D

Notschmendrake posted...

I suppose it's just a consequence of being an even mildly attractive female, or a wealthy/attractive male.

I guess you wouldnt get it ;)

You seem healthy and non-judgemental.

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Well if a dishonest person I dont know thinks THAT about me I'll have to take a good long look at my life and then not make any changes. You've opened my eyes.

Notschmendrake posted...

Did that seem like a cool post to you when you typed it out?

Do you still wanna bang?

Notschmendrake posted...

You dont want me to hang out with a guy who clearly wants to rail me while I PRETEND to be ignorant of his intentions? YOURE INSECURE!

You do realize that some people have friends just to have friends. Not every guy wants to rail everyone else... As a guy, I have many friends I don't want to rail... Tbh, as of right now, I wouldn't rail any of them...

And honestly, I'm not sure I'd call someone a friend if the only reason they hang around you is to wait for a chance to fuck...

Notschmendrake posted...

I suppose it's just a consequence of being an even mildly attractive female, or a wealthy/attractive male.

Or a narcissist who thinks way too highly of themselves, and thinks everyone wants to rail them just because they exist...
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babynames.com

I feel like you just wanted this topic to go into cuck territory.

I think we did this topic maybe...4 months ago?

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No. That's crazy.

Why would I enable my own wife to cheat on her boyfriend?

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LinkPizza posted...

Or a narcissist who thinks way too highly of themselves, and thinks everyone wants to rail them just because they exist

I didnt say anyone, just horny dudes and thirsty bitches who are looking for solo coffee/dinner/drink dates but "totally just because they want to be friends."

You guys act like nobody ever lies and cheats and nobody ever has a reason to be suspicious, and in my experience, the ones who are so adamant about enabling promiscuity behind people's backs demonstrate generally dishonest behavior, which has been 100% accurate.