Current Events > Jurassic Park >>> JP3 > Jurassic World > JP2 >>>> JW2

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JKwaffle
10/20/21 10:41:12 PM
#1:


The first movie is probably the only one that's objectively good, but man, Jurassic World 2 is legit one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I hated it.

JP3, while goofy, has some pretty solid moments, and having Alan Grant back helped things a lot.

Lost World kinda sucks IMO, not gonna lie.

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#2
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MisterPengy
10/20/21 10:45:31 PM
#3:


JP3 has William H Macy, who as far as I know has never played a bad role.

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JKwaffle
10/20/21 10:45:46 PM
#4:


OVERGOATED posted...
I agree but switch JP2 and 3 for me. I just can't forgive the Spinosaurus vs. T-Rex thing.
That's an understandable complaint tbh.


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Fony
10/20/21 10:47:57 PM
#5:


I mean, they're all terrible after the first one. I can distinguish which turd smells worse.

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Wii_Shaker
10/20/21 10:49:18 PM
#6:


MisterPengy posted...
JP3 has William H Macy, who as far as I know has never played a bad role.
Except in Jurassic Park 3. Terrible movie.

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JKwaffle
10/21/21 12:31:36 AM
#7:


Bump

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Kajagogo
10/21/21 12:33:37 AM
#8:


JP > JW > JP2 > JP3 > JW2

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JKwaffle
10/21/21 12:34:22 AM
#9:


I'm glad we can at least all agree what the best one and the worst one is.

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DepreceV2
10/21/21 12:35:06 AM
#10:


I dont care for that series. In fact, I dont care for Dinosaurs in general

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theAteam
10/21/21 12:35:37 AM
#11:


JW is hilarious in that they took all the lessons of the previous incidents and......created something 10x as deadly.

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Kajagogo
10/21/21 12:44:46 AM
#12:


My problem with JP3 and JW2 was there wasn't really a scene where people just kind of sat there and though "I/we fucked up"

JP had the initial T-Rex attack, The Lost World had the T-Rex in San Diego. Jurassic World had the pteranodon attack. JP3 and JW2 didn't have anything like that, so I was disappointed in that sense.

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CountDog
10/21/21 12:44:56 AM
#13:


Re watched the third one earlier this year. Will probably be the last time I ever watch it again. Might watch two again. First one is an easy yes.

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trappedunderice
10/21/21 12:52:01 AM
#14:


Fony posted...
I mean, they're all terrible after the first one. I can distinguish which turd smells worse.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GWHqLJHss9U
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008Zulu
10/21/21 12:54:24 AM
#15:


I liked 2 better than 3. Skipped World because of 3.

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MisterPengy
10/21/21 3:05:41 AM
#16:


Wii_Shaker posted...
Except in Jurassic Park 3. Terrible movie.

Okay, maybe the movie was terrible. But was that Macy's fault? Or was his character the diamond in a sea of shit?

...I ask because I haven't seen the movie in 15 years.

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Hambo the Hog
10/21/21 3:17:17 AM
#17:


Finally someone else who gets that 1>3>2. Idk why, but 2 was always boring to me. I'd place World over 3 though. World was a fun time. I think I like World 2 more than Park 2 even if every scene in it is ridiculous.

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Rharyx211
10/21/21 3:25:54 AM
#18:


I like 2 more than 3 because of Jeff Goldblum, but that's about it.

Otherwise, yeah, TC's ranking is basically correct.

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Teh_Dr_Phil
10/21/21 3:27:09 AM
#19:


No. JP > JW > JP2 > JP3 > JW2 is the only acceptable order.

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#20
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trappedunderice
10/21/21 3:33:08 AM
#21:


Teh_Dr_Phil posted...
No. JP > JW > JP2 > JP3 > JW2 is the only acceptable order.
Jurrasic world was fucking awful, I would rather watch lost world than that piece of shit.
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Wii_Shaker
10/21/21 3:33:35 AM
#22:


MisterPengy posted...
Okay, maybe the movie was terrible. But was that Macy's fault? Or was his character the diamond in a sea of shit?

...I ask because I haven't seen the movie in 15 years.
It wasn't his fault. Honestly, I really, really dislike Tea Leoni's character also but it's not her fault that the movie sucked either.

It's a shame that they wasted Sam Neil.

I tried to give the movie a break and rewatch it and it solidified my hatred for it. In the words of Jay Sherman, "It stinks".

The problem with the Jurassic Park sequels is the exact same problem with the Alien franchise. Jurassic Park is a horror movie. The further the movies get from the terror of prehistoric beasts, the cornier the movies are going to be.

Jurassic World was not a bad way to revive the series but I think it also falls short and substitutes substance for spectacle and can't hold the faintest candle to the original.

I'm curious to see what is in store for JW3. JW2 was utter garbage on par with the 3rd Jurassic Park movie.

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Teh_Dr_Phil
10/21/21 3:36:49 AM
#23:


trappedunderice posted...
Jurrasic world was fucking awful, I would rather watch lost world than that piece of shit.
So flip them, idgaf, but fuck outta here if you think JP3 or JW2 are better than JW. No better way to openly tell someone you have a trash tier opinion than to say something that foolish.

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trappedunderice
10/21/21 3:44:11 AM
#24:


Teh_Dr_Phil posted...
So flip them, idgaf, but fuck outta here if you think JP3 or JW2 are better than JW. No better way to openly tell someone you have a trash tier opinion than to say something that foolish.
Whoa calm down dr phil I never said anything about jp3 and never even watched jw2 because jw was a god awful movie. I just stated that lost world was leagues better than jw.
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Wii_Shaker
10/21/21 3:48:25 AM
#25:


trappedunderice posted...
Whoa calm down dr phil I never said anything about jp3 and never even watched jw2 because jw was a god awful movie. I just stated that lost world was leagues better than jw.
You are both right, actually.

Lost World isn't even that bad, it's just not as good as the original because, how could it be?

The original Jurassic Park is as close to a perfect movie as you are going to get, imo. But I'm based af and it's my favorite movie of all time. That said, I'm not going to fanboy for the the other movies, especially the weakest ones (JP3 and JW2).

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saspa
10/21/21 4:26:37 AM
#26:


If I recall correctly, objectively speaking the correct ranking is

JP > JW > JW 2 = JP 3 > JP 2

JP 2 is of course hot garbage, if purely because it actually thought of itself as not hot garbage, one of its biggest downfalls. They succeeded in making us hate Juliane Moore of all people, and they actually thought we'd think of Vince Vaughn as a hero instead of the villain and antagonist to the movie he really is.

Jurassic World is almost like star wars 7 in basically being a homage to the original but also hilarious with some of its cheese.

I can't decide between JP 3 and JW 2 though. JW 1 was so bad it's good, but JW 2 is just... I don't even know. It has its own version of raptor "Allen!" moment from JP 3, but not as memetic.
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Rharyx211
10/21/21 4:29:12 AM
#27:


There's no objective ranking where JW2 is that high.

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Wii_Shaker
10/21/21 4:33:03 AM
#28:


Rharyx211 posted...
There's no objective ranking where JW2 is that high.
Agree.

Also, I have nostalgia for Lost World. I can understand if newer fans of the Jurassic Park movies don't but I still have the Burger King watches. I played with the Lost World toys. Nostalgia is definitely a part of why I remember LW so fondly.

Objectively, it's better than JW2, even if both of them are shameless cash grabs.

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saspa
10/21/21 4:35:56 AM
#29:


Rharyx211 posted...
There's no objective ranking where JW2 is that high.

They had a gun shaped laser pointer to use for dino-assassinating people that the movie unironically tries to sell off to a room full of would-be buyers and the audience. Where would you rank it if not obviously high?
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Wii_Shaker
10/21/21 6:21:09 AM
#30:


saspa posted...
Where would you rank it if not obviously high?

Here's how I would rank them:

1: Jurassic Park.

2. Jurassic World
3. Lost World
4. Fallen Kingdom
5. Jurassic Park 3


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#31
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rexcrk
10/21/21 6:55:47 AM
#32:


TCs ranking is actually pretty spot on. I never agree with peoples rankings it seems but this this is accurate.

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masterpug53
10/21/21 10:05:39 AM
#33:


Jurassic Park (the original) was one of those movies where, even though it was fertile ground for the inevitable sequels, it really didn't need them. The story wrapped up quite nicely and conveyed every message it needed to, and you were never going to top the awe-inspiring spectacle and / or terror of the original batch of dinosaurs without it feeling gimmicky (and sorry JW, but being overtly self-aware of how gimmicky the Indominus Rex is doesn't really soften the blow).

I watched Lost World a few times as a kid, and it never really grabbed me. Apart from a couple sarcastic quips, Ian Malcolm is an entirely different character than the first time around. Granted, this is some genuine character development, as living through the events of the first movie would probably cause you to take life a lot more seriously. But even so, he's largely missing that eccentric Goldblum charm that made him so likeable in the first movie. And none of the other actors really pick up the slack in creating memorable characters.

Jurassic World wasn't bad, but honestly, the only part of the movie I enjoyed was the first act in which the park is actually running smoothly, because that's something I hadn't yet seen out of the franchise. I skipped JP3 and JW2.

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JKwaffle
10/21/21 1:44:17 PM
#34:


I'm happy with the discourse this topic spawned.

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Machete
10/21/21 1:46:01 PM
#35:


"JP3 >"

you are outta your fucking mind, former moderator...

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TldrReturns
10/21/21 1:47:14 PM
#36:


JP > LW > JP3 > FK > JW

Though the sequels are all pretty bad

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JKwaffle
10/21/21 1:53:33 PM
#37:


Machete posted...
"JP3 >"

you are outta your fucking mind, former moderator...
JP3 is a fun romp, and it has Sam Neil in it again. That's all I need.

Is it also really fucking dumb? Yeah. All the sequels are. But I enjoyed the cheesiness of JP3 a lot more than JP2, which tried to take itself way too seriously and came up short.

Jurassic World is... fine. It's incredibly middle of the road.

JW2 is genuinely one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

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JKwaffle
10/21/21 2:45:49 PM
#38:


Bump

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#39
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Gobstoppers12
10/21/21 4:51:25 PM
#40:


Teh_Dr_Phil posted...
No. JP > JW > JP2 > JP3 > JW2 is the only acceptable order.
This is also my order.

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#41
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Gobstoppers12
10/21/21 4:53:08 PM
#42:


saspa posted...
They had a gun shaped laser pointer to use for dino-assassinating people that the movie unironically tries to sell off to a room full of would-be buyers and the audience.
Imagine using a laser guided dinosaur instead of just using a gun.

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Xethuminra
10/21/21 4:53:10 PM
#43:


Jurassic Park > Jaws >>> >>> ET > Jurassic Worldo
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#44
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Xethuminra
10/21/21 4:55:15 PM
#45:


Its like literally Cadillacs & Dinosaurs shit now
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trappedunderice
10/21/21 5:21:21 PM
#46:


It's one of the series where it's rare for the ranking to be in order, jp>lw>jp3>jw

Why I rank jp3 above jw is because it's a much better watch than jw and why? The acting and less bullshit story even though 3s story was pretty dumb.
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Hambo the Hog
10/21/21 7:19:24 PM
#47:


DoomsSD posted...
Harry Potter
Harry Potter and the Lost World
Harry Potter 3
Harry Potter World
Harry Potter and the Fallen Kingdom.
2 Harry 2 Potter

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Gobstoppers12
10/21/21 7:41:38 PM
#48:


Hambo the Hog posted...
2 Harry 2 Potter
Harry 5

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Hambo the Hog
10/21/21 8:23:58 PM
#49:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
Harry 5
6 Potters

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Guerrilla Soldier
10/21/21 8:27:49 PM
#50:


i actually agree with the tt
nice job

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