Poll of the Day > I hate being Autistic.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Most neurotypicals would label me as incredibly high functioning or in the Autistic community Im what we call a skilled masker or whatever, but at the end of the day Im different and its clear to most people interacting with me that Im different. This difference is the primary reason I have difficulty connecting with so many people and forming functional relationships is crazy hard as a result. I just wish I was normal. I just want to stop feeling miserable all the time.

anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk, probably gonna peace out and pretend I never posted it

Embrace your uniqueness. Everyone is different in their own way and its fulfilling to feel positive about what makes you special. Meditation and reflection with special herbs can help achieve this.

this probably wont make you feel better but very few people feel normal, and the majority of the people you see as normal are just as miserable if not more so

and youve got a rare perspective on things that most people dont have, society might wrongly make you feel like something is wrong with you, but really people having diverse perspectives is a great thing

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Yeah it sucks

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What gives you the impression that you are autistic? Not accusatory, just curious. I've felt autistic but I've never gotten that diagnosis.

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do all autistic people have a hard time reading emotions? like I feel like something is wrong with me all the time and sometimes I think I might be on the spectrum... but I dont really have any social issues

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DrPrimemaster posted...

I've felt autistic but I've never gotten that diagnosis.

yeah, this

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DrPrimemaster posted...

What gives you the impression that you are autistic? Not accusatory, just curious. I've felt autistic but I've never gotten that diagnosis.

Im Autistic. Its beyond impression and something that Ive accepted at this point. Everyone is different and if you feel you may be on the spectrum, I encourage you to research and explore the idea further. Ive always felt off or different. Like, when I was in fifth grade I identified and told people I was an alien and some people, including a close friend, legit believed me because of how I awkward I was (still an awkward but I am constantly learning to mask better). Awkward does not equate autism, I want to be clear, that was just the beginning of my self-discovery. It became really clear once I started dating. Literally every girl Ive ever dated has asked me or told me to consider the possibility or get a diagnosis. After my last relationship I started researching super heavy and I realized I had way too much overlap. I took multiple tests, talked to other people in the community. It was super clear Im on the spectrum. I told my mom I thought I might be Autistic and she said Ive thought that for the last few years but I didnt know how to bring it up. My dad had a very similar reaction. Despite how good at masking and high functioning I appear to be, everyone close to me either already thought it or was not surprised at all to find out. I still have a difficulty accepting Im Autistic, its hard for me to imagine the women I want wanting to date an Autistic person, but at this point I know its what I am.

DirtBasedSoap posted...

do all autistic people have a hard time reading emotions? like I feel like something is wrong with me all the time and sometimes I think I might be on the spectrum... but I dont really have any social issues

Its a spectrum and not every Autistic person has every Autistic symptom. And each person experiences different symptoms at varying levels. The spectrum is a bit broader than a lot of people realize. Im actually very emotionally intuitive and can pick up on a lot of subtle things. I dont have much of a problem reading emotions. Its definitely common among Autistic people, but no, not every Autistic person has trouble reading emotions and not every Autistic person has social issues (many Autistic people in fact thrive in social situations given the right accommodations). If you think you might be on the spectrum I definitely encourage you to look into it more!

Mead posted...

this probably wont make you feel better but very few people feel normal, and the majority of the people you see as normal are just as miserable if not more so

and youve got a rare perspective on things that most people dont have, society might wrongly make you feel like something is wrong with you, but really people having diverse perspectives is a great thing

thank you

Zareth posted...

Yeah it sucks

at least theres solidarity here and some people get it, but yeah. If I could change myself I would

Mead posted...

this probably wont make you feel better but very few people feel normal, and the majority of the people you see as normal are just as miserable if not more so

yea bro @JigsawTDC

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JigsawTDC posted...

If you think you might be on the spectrum I definitely encourage you to look into it more!

Id love to but it sounds scary and I have shitty insurance.

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DirtBasedSoap posted...

Id love to but it sounds scary and I have shitty insurance.

I dont necessarily mean get an official diagnosis (to be clear I havent gotten mine yet). The Autism community is very accepting and understanding of self-diagnosis and has many resources as a result. A few good places to use as jumping off points are In the Loop About Neurodiversity and The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network. Feel free to shoot me a message if youve got questions

JigsawTDC posted...

Everyone is different and if you feel you may be on the spectrum, I encourage you to research and explore the idea further.

I've been told I'm not but I don't feel my brain works correctly when it comes to people. I guess I need to look more up about autism specifically. I do have other things diagnosed.

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> I hate being Autistic.

Me too; it's pretty much my main limiting factor

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DrPrimemaster posted...

I've been told I'm not but I don't feel my brain works correctly when it comes to people. I guess I need to look more up about autism specifically. I do have other things diagnosed.

Feeling like your brain doesnt work correctly when it comes to people is absolutely the biggest part of Autism for me. I have a lot of other symptoms and whatnot that help confirm it, but yeah my advice to anyone is if you think its a possibility for you, look into it. Even if you cant go through official outlets. Im not a doctor so all I can offer is my own experiences and resources Ive found. I suspected and more or less knew I was Autistic a decade before I really explored it seriously, and researching and understanding it really helped me. Obviously with this topic title and whatnot its still not something Im completely comfortable with or proud of (Im actually really in awe of Autistic people who can hold that in pride, because its incredibly hard for me to conceptualize not just accepting this condition but somehow wearing it as a source of pride), but I do feel better knowing Im Autistic than I did not knowing what was wrong with me.

Lokarin posted...

> I hate being Autistic.

Me too; it's pretty much my main limiting factor

yeah, it took me a while to realize, but its mine too.

I want to tell my coworkers about my diagnosis but I have no idea how they'd react.
I would also like to tell them how depressed I am all the time, but people usually misunderstand what depression really is.
It's really hard to understand how it is to be depressed unless you've experienced it yourself at one point.

One good thing with my Aspergers diagnosis I guess is that it's extremely cheap for me to go to the dentist.
It literally costs me like 35 bucks to do whatever I currently need at the dentist.
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i like being autistic. although i definitely often feel like other people know things i don't, i appreciate how it allows me to engage with my interests and absorb information about them at a rapid rate. my internal world is very rich as a result

i think a lot of it can come down to surrounding yourself with people who understand that you might need a bit more patience or things explained to you that might not be intuitive. also i don't really (or try not to) mask anymore and that definitely improved my mental health significantly, it's just so draining

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Mead posted...

this probably wont make you feel better but very few people feel normal, and the majority of the people you see as normal are just as miserable if not more so

and youve got a rare perspective on things that most people dont have, society might wrongly make you feel like something is wrong with you, but really people having diverse perspectives is a great thing

This right here. Kinda wonder myself if Im autistic. Considering it takes effort reading social cues and imitate how others behave.
Dunno if part of the issue was a short phase trying to behave straight when I was a kid slowed me down. But dont ever feel alone TC.

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LeetCheet posted...

I want to tell my coworkers about my diagnosis but I have no idea how they'd react.
I would also like to tell them how depressed I am all the time, but people usually misunderstand what depression really is.
It's really hard to understand how it is to be depressed unless you've experienced it yourself at one point.

One good thing with my Aspergers diagnosis I guess is that it's extremely cheap for me to go to the dentist.
It literally costs me like 35 bucks to do whatever I currently need at the dentist.

My experience with disclosing has not been positive. I dont want to scare you or give negative advice or whatever, but in most circumstances where Ive disclosed Im Autistic, I have been met with hostility and belittlement. Even when its not that extreme, people still end up treating me differently once they know Im Autistic. Im good enough at masking that I just let most people assume Im awkward unless we start getting close.

Kanatteru posted...

i also i don't really (or try not to) mask anymore and that definitely improved my mental health significantly, it's just so draining

i wish I could do this. I dont know how to stop masking, I dont know how to find a place where Im comfortable not masking. I dont know what being myself is because Ive been masking for so long. Im drained all the time constantly putting up this facade of me that is not me and I just want to die.

I feel ya. Im autistic myself.

Lol self diagnosed

Just work on yourself

If you keep telling yourself you're 'different' you'll hold yourself back

Fine if you just want something to whine about and give you excuses but whatever

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Maybe you are autistic, but reading through this topic is not convincing. Ive been explicitly diagnosed as not autistic, but if I did enough internet research Id be able to convince myself. My brother is diagnosed and we have a lot of overlap of traditional autistic characteristics. I always wondered about myself until I got a real diagnosis. Id encourage everyone to get a professional opinion.

Autism likely isnt your root problem. If you got a professional opinion and they said you werent, would that make you happy? I kinda doubt it. It sounds like there is more going on than a potential diagnosis.

Plenty of people are high-functioning or not-that-high-functioning autistic and are very happy and successful. Does it help, probably not, but one thing this group doesnt do is sit around and throw pity parties for themselves.

Regardless of any diagnosis, you need to accept yourself. Focus on your mental health and ways to improve it. Im not saying this to point fingers. There are definitely things I dont like about myself. I neglected my own mental health and paid the price for a time. Invest in yourself. You are worth it.

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The above two posts are basically a shorter and a longer version of what I was going to say. People are so desperate for labels to attach to themselves these days to explain away their problems as something they have no control over.

What exactly about you clearly makes you different? How can people tell and how do you know that's what people see in you that makes you different?

Did they tell you? Or are you recognizing these things on your own?

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Maximum Overdrive posted...

What exactly about you clearly makes you different? How can people tell and how do you know that's what people see in you that makes you different?

Did they tell you? Or are you recognizing these things on your own?

Im curious about this myself. TC hasnt given any specifics other than they dont fit the doesnt pick up on emotional cues trait.


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ChaoticKnuckles posted...

Im curious about this myself. TC hasnt given any specifics other than they dont fit the doesnt pick up on emotional cues trait.

move been diagnosed with autism and Im the opposite of what youre saying. Im hyper sensitive to any social interaction. I dwell on every little tone change in a persons voice, the sound each person as theyre walking, everyones current emotions in the situation.

whenever I do any research, it seems like autism has literally any and every symptom. And that the spectrums is as broad as the universe. None of it really makes sense, so I just manage what I can for myself

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I may have aspergers(tested once in a medical study for money), but I am lucky in the sense while I am not "normal" for me it just leads to me being quirky, but I've made a lot of friends along the way who appreciate that, so it's cool.

FrozenBananas posted...

Ive been diagnosed with autism and Im the opposite of what youre saying. Im hyper sensitive to any social interaction. I dwell on every little tone change in a persons voice, everyones current emotions of the situation, how theyre reacting to whatever Im saying, and I take it too personally.

I feel like I figured things out just a couple years later than everyone else, maybe 5 years, but by then everyone had already left me in the dust.

whenever I do any research, it seems like autism has literally any and every symptom. And that the spectrum is as broad and expansive as the universe. None of it really makes sense, so I just manage what I can for myself

You gave a specific example of something that you think contributed to your diagnosis, TC hasnt done that yet thats all Im saying.

Someone gave the example of not picking up on emotional or social cues and TCs response essentially was no thats not one of my things, but then didnt really elaborate on what the actual things are that are making them think theyre autistic.


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Having autism isn't an excuse to not counteract your differences. Everybody is different and everybody leverages what makes them different to have worthwhile and fulfilling interactions. You have to focus on intergrating and being relatable while everyone else has to focus on not being dull as shit, you have different problems, not worse ones.
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