Current Events > Is not wanting to sleep with or date a trans-person a preference or transphobic?

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Ardbert
06/23/21 10:48:19 AM
#152:


catboy posted...
If it's important to you, you could always ask? How would they know otherwise that you would have a problem with it?

probably because it is an instant out as an asshole to ciswomen and transgender people both. :v if they're a cis woman, they're probably gonna assume the guy means they don't look feminine enough and get offended.
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ROOTFayth
06/23/21 10:48:49 AM
#153:


of course not bringing up your history of parking tickets is the exact same as not bringing up a life changing surgery
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Derwood
06/23/21 10:49:14 AM
#154:


Oh, THIS topic again
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catboy
06/23/21 10:49:40 AM
#155:


Derwood posted...
YHIS
lol

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Musourenka
06/23/21 10:50:29 AM
#156:


In that case, go ahead and ask all your potential dates if they're cis or not. I'm sure that'll go well for you.

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#157
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Derwood
06/23/21 10:58:35 AM
#158:


catboy posted...
lol

You ninjad my edit (ha ha ha)
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Will_VIIII
06/23/21 10:58:51 AM
#159:


500 topic part 2

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Derwood
06/23/21 11:00:39 AM
#160:


Will_VIIII posted...
500 topic part 2

And then the same topic next week
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#161
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Error1355
06/23/21 11:52:54 AM
#162:


Ilishe posted...
How about some mods weigh in on this? @Error1355 ?
I'm on vacation. I'll get back to you next week.

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hockeybub89
06/23/21 11:54:51 AM
#163:


SwiggitySwoogit posted...
I'd expect my partner to tell me major details of their life such as if they used to be a different gender. I wouldn't expect them to volunteer minute details.
Your partner, not someone who you met 20 minutes ago on your first date. I don't think I know anyone who would share any major details of their life with strangers.

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WashYourHands
06/23/21 11:56:58 AM
#164:


hockeybub89 posted...
Your partner, not someone who you met 20 minutes ago on your first date. I don't think I know anyone who would share any major details of their life with strangers.
If yall are fucking within those first 20 minutes I dont think they mind revealing anything.,,

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jon1012
06/23/21 11:57:21 AM
#165:


Its not a bad thing to not sexually prefer trans people.

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ktownslayer16
06/23/21 11:57:50 AM
#166:


No, I dont want to date a woman that has a cock between her legs. Sorry, but that's not transphobic ffs.

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ThanksUglyGod
06/23/21 11:59:01 AM
#167:


Haven't read through this topic. Have people already pointed out that preferences can still be bigoted?
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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 11:59:11 AM
#168:


This question is inherently biased in its wording - being a preference does not preclude it from being transphobic. Refusing to date trans people is a preference that is pretty much always rooted in transphobic attitudes.

Furthermore, simply not wanting to date a trans person, and announcing to people, without any sort of prompt, that you would never date/sleep with a trans person are two wildly different things, and while both are rooted in transphobia, only the second is actively harmful.

TLDR: if you are transphobic please just shut the fuck up and no one will probably notice or care

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hockeybub89
06/23/21 11:59:28 AM
#169:


WashYourHands posted...
If yall are fucking within those first 20 minutes I dont think they mind revealing anything.,,
Sex isn't as sacred as it once was. Some people have sex to figure out if they want to get serious.

Most people in any type of relationship are not going to tell you anything serious early on.

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hockeybub89
06/23/21 12:00:15 PM
#170:


MrToothHasYou posted...
TLDR: if you are transphobic please just shut the fuck up and no one will probably notice or care
But someone I don't know on Twitter will tell their 400 followers that people like me are assholes!

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skermac
06/23/21 12:00:20 PM
#171:


Its just a preference just like some people dont like red hair totally a preference

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WashYourHands
06/23/21 12:01:28 PM
#172:


MrToothHasYou posted...
This question is inherently biased in its wording - being a preference does not preclude it from being transphobic. Refusing to date trans people is a preference that is pretty much always rooted in transphobic attitudes.

Furthermore, simply not wanting to date a trans person, and announcing to people, without any sort of prompt, that you would never date/sleep with a trans person are two wildly different things, and while both are rooted in transphobia, only the second is actively harmful.

TLDR: if you are transphobic please just shut the fuck up and no one will probably notice or care
I mean.. its literally the question in the topic title. Is that a good enough prompt for people to talk about it?

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:02:58 PM
#173:


skermac posted...
Its just a preference just like some people dont like red hair totally a preference
Not the same because I dont know a single person who prefers blondes that would refuse to date a non-blonde. Or would freak out if they found out their blonde partner had been dying their hair.

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WashYourHands
06/23/21 12:03:52 PM
#174:


hockeybub89 posted...
Sex isn't as sacred as it once was. Some people have sex to figure out if they want to get serious.

Most people in any type of relationship are not going to tell you anything serious early on.
Then they are setting themselves up for major disappointment by not revealing major details like that and leading someone on into thinking they are something(cis) they are not.

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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:11:57 PM
#175:


Sure, trans women are women but they aren't cis women.

I only like cis women.

I have a child with my wife. Only liking cis women isnt a crime or transphobic.

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Ardbert
06/23/21 12:14:11 PM
#176:


MutantJohn posted...
Sure, trans women are women but they aren't cis women.

I only like cis women.

I have a child with my wife. Only liking cis women isnt a crime or transphobic.

so you're saying that if your wife had been born in the wrong body, you wouldn't want her anymore?
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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:14:57 PM
#177:


WashYourHands posted...
Then they are setting themselves up for major disappointment by not revealing major details like that and leading someone on into thinking they are something(cis) they are not.
Conversely, they are at significant risk of being violently attacked if they reveal that they are trans, so they have that to consider as well.

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MrMimeTime
06/23/21 12:16:56 PM
#178:


Ardbert posted...
so you're saying that if your wife had been born in the wrong body, you wouldn't want her anymore?

This is a stupid take. If he wants a biological kid, which is a perfectly valid preference, he wouldn't want to be with a transgender.

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:17:47 PM
#179:


MutantJohn posted...
Sure, trans women are women but they aren't cis women.
Sounds like rehashed separate but equal rhetoric to me.

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:18:52 PM
#180:


MrMimeTime posted...
This is a stupid take. If he wants a biological kid, which is a perfectly valid preference, he wouldn't want to be with a transgender.
Not all cisgender women can have biological children, and hed have no way of knowing

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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:19:24 PM
#181:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Sounds like rehashed separate but equal rhetoric to me.
Segregation was about denying civil rights, nothing to do with access to my penis

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MrMimeTime
06/23/21 12:20:49 PM
#182:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Not all cisgender women can have biological children, and hed have no way of knowing

So one should be willing to completely forego their preference for biological children because there's a chance it might not be possible?

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:21:56 PM
#183:


MutantJohn posted...
Segregation was about denying civil rights, nothing to do with access to my penis
So you dont think it would be racist for someone to say they wouldnt date a black woman? That they dont think black women are any less women than whites, they just have a preference for white women and would not date/sleep with black women?

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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:23:20 PM
#184:


Sorry, bruh, transwomen are women but they aren't cis.

Idk what kind of definition of woman you're using but it seems to be "can pass as cis".

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:23:35 PM
#185:


MrMimeTime posted...
So one should be willing to completely forego their preference for biological children because there's a chance it might not be possible?
Im just saying I dont know any dude who makes a girl have a fertility test before he dates her. Also the few dudes Ive heard of who left their wives because they couldnt bear children are largely considered to be assholes for having done so.

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Ardbert
06/23/21 12:26:00 PM
#186:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Im just saying I dont know any dude who makes a girl have a fertility test before he dates her. Also the few dudes Ive heard of who left their wives because they couldnt bear children are largely considered to be assholes for having done so.

Yea, I thought loving someone was about more than just their ability to carry children.
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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:26:17 PM
#187:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Im just saying I dont know any dude who makes a girl have a fertility test before he dates her. Also the few dudes Ive heard of who left their wives because they couldnt bear children are largely considered to be assholes for having done so.
Yes, because it's considered an exceptional tragedy, not the default like with a transwoman.

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MrMimeTime
06/23/21 12:27:01 PM
#188:


MrToothHasYou posted...
Im just saying I dont know any dude who makes a girl have a fertility test before he dates her. Also the few dudes Ive heard of who left their wives because they couldnt bear children are largely considered to be assholes for having done so.

"Just totally give up on your preference because there's a chance it might not work."

Lol. We're really stretching here to try and deny a very valid choice.

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MrMimeTime
06/23/21 12:28:37 PM
#189:


Ardbert posted...
Yea, I thought loving someone was about more than just their ability to carry children.

TIL any guy who prefers biological children is in love with any and every woman that isn't barren.

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#190
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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:32:37 PM
#191:


Conflict posted...
Why you guys want to tell everyone and their grandmother so badly that you don't want to date transgender people I have no clue
I have an idea

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Lairen
06/23/21 12:32:44 PM
#192:


That poll....

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:33:27 PM
#193:


Lairen posted...
That poll....
Yeah its pretty disgusting, but unfortunately not really surprising

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Badmotorfinger
06/23/21 12:35:03 PM
#194:


Lairen posted...
That poll....


Congratulations on discovering for the first time that people can stuff a poll with alts
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ktownslayer16
06/23/21 12:36:14 PM
#195:


skermac posted...
Its just a preference just like some people dont like red hair totally a preference

It's more than a preference of hair colour ffs. I'm sure straight women prefer their Men to have a cock, not a vagina or whatever they they end up with post op. Nothing about that is transphobic. You cant just separate sex from gender when that's a component of attraction for straight people. Doesnt make them transphobic.


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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:38:16 PM
#196:


Stop trying to coerce people into having sex with people they don't want to.

Jesus.

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#197
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Lairen
06/23/21 12:39:04 PM
#198:


Only one side has come out to stuff the poll. The other side that actually won didnt.


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MutantJohn
06/23/21 12:39:29 PM
#199:


Conflict posted...
No one is doing that

Maybe you should revisit a dictionary
Then stop calling everyone transphobic!

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Dreepapult
06/23/21 12:39:52 PM
#200:


Majority of straight dudes "i just like cis women"

Certain users "you're a real fucking asshole pal"

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MrToothHasYou
06/23/21 12:42:05 PM
#201:


MutantJohn posted...
Stop trying to coerce people into having sex with people they don't want to.

Jesus.
No one is trying to force you to do anything, we are just saying that your preference is usually rooted in transphobia (or some other sort of biological essentialism)

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