Current Events > Scenario: you receive a game controller that never degrades, BUT

(+) Yeah! (+)

...the analogue sticks are connected to your nipples.

The controller works with every video game console that has exer existed and will ever exist, it's repellent to gamer gunk, and none of the buttons or features of the controller ever break down. Special mention goes to the joysticks - the texture on the top of them never degrades, and the sticks themselves never drift. It is, for all intents and purposes, the perfect controller.

But whenever you touch the sticks, an equivalent pressure presses down on your nipples. If you pull the left stick down, your left nipple gets rubbed downways. If you click the right stick, your right nipple will get pressed into your body.

It's like a Picture of Dorian Grey sort of dealie - the joysticks will never break down or degrade, but the more you use the controller, the more chafed and sore your nipples become. This means no more long gaming sessions - if you sit in bed and play games all day, you're gonna need a lot of Kleenex, some bandages and some salve.

Lube works to stop nipple chafe, but only lube and it gets sucked into your shirt like any other liquids. This has the disadvantage of taking your mind off the game if you play too vigorously, and if you're already injured from unlubricated nipple-rubbing those injuries are going to carry over. You can't prevent the nipple rubbing with chest coverings of any kind, whether it be tape, bandages, cling wrap or pasties; the force will manifest directly on the nipple at all times.

Otherwise, everything about this controller is indestructible. You could drop it into the heart of the sun for a million years and retrieve it and it would be in just as good shape as when you left it. It never ages, it never breaks down. It's perfect for games like Final Fantasy X where you don't really need to use the joysticks. But every time you touch those joysticks - even if you brush the side while you're reaching for another button - an equivalent sensation is administered to your nipples.

No-one else can affect your nipples, if they use the controller the nipple connection applies to them or then only. If two people use the same controller at the same time, whoever touches whichever stick will get the nipple sensation.

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What kind of pressure do you put on your controllers lol. How do you go from pressing down on a stick to bleeding nipples.

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Pretty kinky tbh.

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TetsuoS2 posted...

What kind of pressure do you put on your controllers lol. How do you go from pressing down on a stick to bleeding nipples.

It's not how hard you rub, but for how long. I've never had bleeding nipples, but don't joggers have to pad their chests so their nipples don't run raw and start bleeding?

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Was into into it until nipple chafing. Hard pass

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Yeah but I don't rub my sticks, I just push.

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TetsuoS2 posted...

Yeah but I don't rub my sticks, I just push.

When you push up on the stick, the sensation will rub up on your nipple. When you let go of the stick, it rubs downwards back to the centre of your areola. Push left, it rubs left, and when you let go of the stick, it rubs back the way it came.

That's how the nipple connection works with this controller. It rubs the entire length of the push that you use on the sticks, from the centre out to the edges of the controller.

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Sounds fun. I don't game that long anyway. Not since over a decade.

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MrMallard posted...

It's not how hard you rub, but for how long. I've never had bleeding nipples, but don't joggers have to pad their chests so their nipples don't run raw and start bleeding?

If your fingers don't get rubbed raw, your nipples are fine. In what scenario would you keep playing if your nipples start getting rubbed off? Carpal tunnel is a greater risk for you if you play video games for long periods of time without taking breaks anyway.

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Bump

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Any takers?

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Controllers are easily replaced, why bother unless you want a nipple rub?

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MrMallard posted...

It's not how hard you rub, but for how long.

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