Current Events > Babies aren't always so hard!

(+) Yeah! (+)

I know most here dont care for kids but thought Id share my experience so far. All Ive ever heard from other parents were horror stories about how difficult newborns are and all the negatives, so wanted to share that its not always so terrible.

Im 5 weeks in and no expert but so far it hasnt been as difficult as I anticipated or what a lot of parents I know portrayed.

My daughter has settled into a pretty good routine. During the day she naps for 2-3 hours and is awake for 1-2 hours. When shes up, I know her cues enough to know what she needs, diaper change, hungry, gassy, overly tired, etc. She really doesnt cry much unless she needs something and once I figure that out, shes calm again.

At night, she sleeps 3-5 hour blocks of time (sometimes 6 or 7) and is up 30-60 minutes for feeding, changing, etc.

When she naps during the day, Im able to get to my chores. Washing bottles, pacifiers, do laundry, dishes, prep/cook dinner, tidy up around the house, shower, etc. Maybe nap.

I was told to say goodbye to sleep, the house will be a disaster, I wont have time to shower, etc. but so far its been fine. I sleep well enough, the house is clean, I shower every day, make dinner. If anything, I slept less and did less while pregnant.

I dont know if I just got really lucky with an easy baby. But I also have a husband who does his fair share. He takes the evening shift after work and the first night shift, while I take the second night shift (around 3-4 am) and the rest of the day while he works. He pitches in during the day when he has a break too. I also think some women just try to do everything alone like its their job and dont ask or expect their husbands to do anything.

So for those who worry newborns are too much, its not always so bad.

Mostly theyre very soft, actually

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That's awesome. Something that popped into my head just now for the first time: do you ever worry you'll raise like, a murderer or something? Is that even something that's on a parent's radar? It's ridiculous to think about but like damn it's possible.

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MorbidFaithless posted...

That's awesome. Something that popped into my head just now for the first time: do you ever worry you'll raise like, a murderer or something? Is that even something that's on a parent's radar? It's ridiculous to think about but like damn it's possible.

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I think most people don't have access to good family leave to be able to adjust

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Cleo_II posted...

Im 5 weeks in and no expert but so far it hasnt been as difficult as I anticipated or what a lot of parents I know portrayed.

lmao no. Stay in the game longer then talk

Cleo_II posted...

He takes the evening shift after work and the first night shift, while I take the second night shift (around 3-4 am)

I feel like this is what makes the difference. Of course if the two parents try to follow the same sleep schedule, the baby will interrupt and cause tension/drama/stress. But if you decide "Alright, you need to sleep during these 8 hours, I'll sleep during these other 8, so we don't have to decide who gets up to help the baby" it goes so much smoother.

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Not every baby is the same is the thing. My 2 year old was like a year and a half before he would sleep through the night.

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Damn girl imma go get me a new born, thanks for the vote of confidence!

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MorbidFaithless posted...

That's awesome. Something that popped into my head just now for the first time: do you ever worry you'll raise like, a murderer or something? Is that even something that's on a parent's radar? It's ridiculous to think about but like damn it's possible.

Not a murderer lol but I do think about how to make sure she doesnt grow up to be too spoiled or entitled. Both my husband and I grew up from very humble means while she will have a lot more than we ever did. I want to be sure she will appreciate what she has.

Balrog0 posted...

I think most people don't have access to good family leave to be able to adjust

Oh definitely. I grateful to have 6 months off and my husband works from home. But I also have friends in Canada who had a year off work and still told me how difficult to expect it all to be.

BlkPopeIseem posted...

lmao no. Stay in the game longer then talk

Like I said, Im no expert. But everyone told me the first few weeks to 3 months were the absolute hardest and it just hasnt been that bad for us. Just wanted to share a little positivity because I feel its like when people review a business, you only hear about the complaints.

MisterPengy posted...

I feel like this is what makes the difference. Of course if the two parents try to follow the same sleep schedule, the baby will interrupt and cause tension/drama/stress. But if you decide "Alright, you need to sleep during these 8 hours, I'll sleep during these other 8, so we don't have to decide who gets up to help the baby" it goes so much smoother.

Yeah that has been huge for us. My husband sleeps in the guest bedroom too so we dont wake each other.

Yeah, they aren't as hard as many people make out, even when they don't sleep through the night. And I had 4 of them!

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That's awesome. My brother's kids none got tough until teething started. Then one was a really tough toddler (the middle one). By 4 they were all pretty well behaved though.

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Sweet, have a few more

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I guess it depends. Some say to feed babies every three hours or so, which would make good sleep hard to come by, as well as how excessive breastfeeding can become painful or irritating, particularly if you have sensitive nipples. But I suppose its a case by case basis, and almost doesnt apply if you use bottle, not that I know your circumstances.

Good to hear things arent too bad for you.

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Thats because it takes a life of crime to turn them hard.

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YourDrunkFather posted...

Not every baby is the same is the thing. My 2 year old was like a year and a half before he would sleep through the night.

Not saying they are. I just feel like all Ive ever heard were all the negative stories and wanted to share a positive one.

KILBOTz posted...

That's awesome. My brother's kids none got tough until teething started. Then one was a really tough toddler (the middle one). By 4 they were all pretty well behaved though.

Toddle years sound like the most difficult for sure! The tantrums, etc. My niece would lay face down and just scream over everything lol

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Absolutely. Its ridiculous to read stories online of women who are doing everything for the baby while their SO just games and hangs out with friends. Id never tolerate that. But I also think some women put too much pressure on themselves to do it all and have low bars for what they expect out of their SO. They talk about their husbands helping them like its some huge thing. Meanwhile my husband is proud to be a good dad. He gets offended if people make comments about him helping me. To him thats his daughter and his job.

PerseusRad posted...

I guess it depends. Some say to feed babies every three hours or so, which would make good sleep hard to come by, as well as how excessive breastfeeding can become painful or irritating, particularly if you have sensitive nipples. But I suppose its a case by case basis, and almost doesnt apply if you use bottle, not that I know your circumstances.

Good to hear things arent too bad for you.

Once she hit her birth weight after 2 weeks our doc said to stop waking her. But yeah Im sure breastfeeding would make things a lot more difficult. We formula feed so that means my husband can take care of feedings too

I don't have kids myself, but my wife's sister lived with us and she had 3 babies while she was here, so I had a big hand in raising my nieces and nephews. It has more ups than downs, and I wouldn't trade the overall experience for anything. My one nephew is now 8 and he can read me like a book, I suffer a lot with depression and he knows the look on my face when i'm down, and the way he just comes up and hugs me for like 2 minutes melts my heart. He doesn't have a concept of depression, or mental illness, but how he senses that i'm just not okay and he can make it better is incredible. Sorry if this is a bit personal but I felt like it was something I should share.

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Cleo_II posted...

But everyone told me the first few weeks to 3 months were the absolute hardest

Fucking lawl.

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Cleo_II posted...

Absolutely. Its ridiculous to read stories online of women who are doing everything for the baby while their SO just games and hangs out with friends. Id never tolerate that. But I also think some women put too much pressure on themselves to do it all and have low bars for what they expect out of their SO. They talk about their husbands helping them like its some huge thing. Meanwhile my husband is proud to be a good dad. He gets offended if people make comments about him helping me. To him thats his daughter and his job.

Part of it can also be the scenario my wife and I were in, when our son was born I was working close to 16 hours a day and she was on mat leave, so she took control of the house and the baby while I worked my long unforgiving shifts. I'd help out with what I could on work days and my days off I basically used to give her a break from the kid, so I was basically going non-stop for a year.

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Cleo_II posted...

Toddle years sound like the most difficult for sure! The tantrums, etc. My niece would lay face down and just scream over everything lol

The boy, the youngest, hated being told no. Would scream for minutes when told no.

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Here's an anecdote for you. My wife just called me while I was at work because she was trying to get our daughter in to bed because we are leaving for the mountains in the morning. Well she reminds my daughter that there are consequences for not listening and my daughter pulls down her pants and moons my wife, then turns to her and says, "Now I'm done here." My daughter is 6 but has been a fucking teenager since she was 2.

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I want kids so bad.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I want kids so bad.

uhh

MabusIncarnate posted...

I don't have kids myself, but my wife's sister lived with us and she had 3 babies while she was here, so I had a big hand in raising my nieces and nephews. It has more ups than downs, and I wouldn't trade the overall experience for anything. My one nephew is now 8 and he can read me like a book, I suffer a lot with depression and he knows the look on my face when i'm down, and the way he just comes up and hugs me for like 2 minutes melts my heart. He doesn't have a concept of depression, or mental illness, but how he senses that i'm just not okay and he can make it better is incredible. Sorry if this is a bit personal but I felt like it was something I should share.

Thats so touching. It really is amazing how kids are so innocent and love unconditionally. I was thinking of that the other day when I laid her on her changing table and she had been crying. Then she looked up at me and gave me the biggest toothless smile. It just melted my heart how she just loves me and I havent done anything to really deserve it.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Part of it can also be the scenario my wife and I were in, when our son was born I was working close to 16 hours a day and she was on mat leave, so she took control of the house and the baby while I worked my long unforgiving shifts. I'd help out with what I could on work days and my days off I basically used to give her a break from the kid, so I was basically going non-stop for a year.

Thats crazy. I feel for couples like that. Im talking more about men who just think their job is enough and dont get that the moms job with a kid is 24/7 so its not fair to think working 40 hours a week and not contributing to childcare is pulling your weight. My husband works all day and Im home, but come 6pm he takes over for the evening.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Here's an anecdote for you. My wife just called me while I was at work because she was trying to get our daughter in to bed because we are leaving for the mountains in the morning. Well she reminds my daughter that there are consequences for not listening and my daughter pulls down her pants and moons my wife, then turns to her and says, "Now I'm done here." My daughter is 6 but has been a fucking teenager since she was 2.

Lmao I love the sass! Too cute

I've always wanted to have 1-2 children but my wife and I just don't make enough money for it to be possible for us. We can barely afford just us with almost no luxuries.

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Newborns are easy. Toddlers are harder...communicating with one is an art

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Don't care. I will go to my grave having never wiped another person's ass.

Pulling floss from my dogs ass is about my limit.

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A lot of my relatives have told me their first one is usually chill and the 2nd was the screamer.

My sister's first kid use to cry everytime I talked tho. Now we hang out all the time, but back then I didn't want to be around her lol. She had the highest pitch scream and I couldn't directly say anything to her. Dunno if it's just how deep my voice was. Obviously, I didn't do anything upsetting around her. At least not from a teenager perspective. There had to be some reason she didn't like my voice lol.

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YourDrunkFather posted...

Not every baby is the same is the thing. My 2 year old was like a year and a half before he would sleep through the night.

This. It took well over a year until my son was sleeping through the night. Before that, he was crying every 2 hours like clockwork. There were some nights where he would just cry and nothing we did would console him (we suspect colic, but it wasn't frequent). We absolutely did not get a sound sleep on any night during that first year.

It's not all bad though. Lot of cute moments when my son was little. Now he's 6 and his energy level is at 110% from when he wakes up until when he goes to sleep lol.

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Most newborns aren't bad unless they have colic. 5 weeks old is still the "4th trimester" where they basically just lay wherever you put them. The fun begins once they're mobile.
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way to go easy on mom, cleo3. keep up the good work =)

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PoundGarden posted...

Don't care. I will go to my grave having never wiped another person's ass.

Pulling floss from my dogs ass is about my limit.

I had to pull pumpkin seeds from my daughter's ass.

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Dont shake your baby

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Wow, impressive sleep schedule for a 5 week old

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Weve had it pretty easy too, a little like what youre describing for both of the children. I have heard however of some newborns that werent anywhere near as easy, guess we got lucky.

I think what worked great for us is that I offered to take care of the newborns at night so Id go to sleep at around 5-6 AM, that allowed my wife to get plenty of rest thus not be tired or stressed out during the day.