Current Events > Gosh I forgot how much I hated X-Play reviews lol

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://youtu.be/DM9Tg5EVHo0

Did a CEman write this crap? >_>

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It was me.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

It was me.

NOOOOOOO!

Thats not true!

THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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eww g4. the only nerd tv I would never be caught watching.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XZ9tsdktZc

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This is my nostalgia comfort food, no bulli

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i mean were they wrong???? that game was ass

Hope the new show in 2021 isn't as cringe as the one from 2012.

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Embrace the lame

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They said Shadow the Hedgehog sucks and that made me mad because I like Shadow the Hedgehog.

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Reis posted...

i mean were they wrong???? that game was ass

the game sucked but so did the review.

hurr durr game hard haha guys they talk about the rain isnt that wacky

ive seen better game opinions shitposted on console boards. >_>

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Its Morgan Webb so of course its bad

Sessler did the good reviews

AlisLandale posted...

the game sucked but so did the review.

hurr durr game hard haha guys they talk about the rain isnt that wacky

ive seen better game opinions shitposted on console boards. >_>

They explained why they found it bad tho

the rain joke was 10 seconds

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Guide posted...

They explained why they found it bad tho

hurr durr game hard

10 seconds in 2 minute review. Youre wasting almost 10% of your runtime on a joke that tells us nothing <_<

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They were a little cringe. But when i was a teenager it wasnt so bad.

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Vampire Rain was absolutely garbage and they covered it well.

I loved the show myself, watched it every day after school. Also miss Attack of the Show and Cheat.
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Slayer_22 posted...

they covered it well.

Vampire Rain is a stealth game

guys its hard to kill vampires you have to use stealth wtf

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AlisLandale posted...

hurr durr game hard

10 seconds in 2 minute review. Youre wasting almost 10% of your runtime on a joke that tells us nothing <_<

From that review I know:
-the game is unforgiving because
>Pathing is linear
>vampires are easily alerted for failure to stick to intended pathing
>you have low firepower
>vampires have high health
>vampires kill you quickly
>there are no save points

not bad for 2 minutes

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AlisLandale posted...

Vampire Rain is a stealth game

guys its hard to kill vampires you have to use stealth wtf

The stealth is awful in that game. I played it(rented it from Hollywood video, God damn I feel old). A single mistake was instant death, the vampires would sometimes, seemingly at random, realize where you are saometimes their patterns would glitch out and they'd just stay in one position, which meant I'd get seen regardless.

I suck at stealth games, but I beat Splinter Cell. I gave up after the second level on this piece of shit.
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X-Play gave us this gem though.

https://youtu.be/N8mm4iWVn14

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Guide posted...

>there are no save points

This is another reason why I quit. If you died at the very last moment, get ready to restart from the beginning of the level.
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I saw nothing wrong there tbh

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Guide posted...

>vampires are easily alerted for failure to stick to intended pathing

bad things happen when you make mistakes

J O U R N A L I S M

Guide posted...

>you have low firepower
>vampires have high health
>vampires kill you quickly

guys you have to use stealth because vampires are hard to kill on a stealth game

Guide posted...

>Pathing is linear

DAE linear = bad haha

Slayer_22 posted...

The stealth is awful in that game. I played it(rented it from Hollywood video, God damn I feel old). A single mistake was instant death, the vampires would sometimes, seemingly at random, realize where you are saometimes their patterns would glitch out and they'd just stay in one position, which meant I'd get seen regardless.

I suck at stealth games, but I beat Splinter Cell. I gave up after the second level on this piece of shit.

this single post was more informative than the entire video

tho my favorite Vampire Rain review was made by some guy who scored it by giving it a urinal cake for everything it did wrong. Seems to have disappeared from YouTube lol

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Strider102 posted...

X-Play gave us this gem though.

https://youtu.be/N8mm4iWVn14

The look on his face when he turns to the camera after the game somehow manages to recognize "bark like a dog" is fucking priceless.

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I miss X Play and the rest of G4 very much

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AlisLandale posted...

bad things happen when you make mistakes

J O U R N A L I S M

guys you have to use stealth because vampires are hard to kill on a stealth game

DAE linear = bad haha

this single post was more informative than the entire video

tho my favorite Vampire Rain review was made by some guy who scored it by giving it a urinal cake for everything it did wrong. Seems to have disappeared from YouTube lol

Your response doesn't make any sense. You're removing any detail from the description to make it sound simpler. Aside from the bug, everything Slayer said was already described in the review.

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I liked Tech TV. Never cared for G4 or X-Play. When G4 merged with Tech TV, Tech TV was pretty much dead to me.

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The reviews were always bad since gamespot tv. Just a few lines trying to be funny and critizicing or praising stuff irrelevant.

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I imagine this is what the first Dark Souls reviews were like.

OMG I died now I have to go back ALL THE WAY TO THE START! Why things keep killing me.

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Her voice is kinda grating

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Guide posted...

Your response doesn't make any sense. You're removing any detail from the description to make it sound simpler.

dry facts without context are not criticism.

linearity is not a criticism. Its a design choice. If the linearity is handled badly then you have to say *why* it was bad.

vampires are bullet sponges that kill you easily would be a criticism if the game was an FPS. But they open the review by telling you its a stealth game. If anything, horror monsters actually living up to their mythology and forcing you to use stealth sounds like a fun gameplay hook. X-play set out to give a bad review to a universally panned game and they actually made it sound cool. Thats how much X-play sucks.

What Slayers post did differently was actually illustrate *how* badly the mechanics were handled, which is something X-Play rarely does. (That voice control clip was a hilarious exception lol)

X-Play is just low-effort regurgitation of opinions the target audience has already heard, dressed up with punchy sarcasm and jokes that were played out before the segment even aired. >_>

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Tag

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AlisLandale posted...

. If the linearity is handled badly then you have to say *why* it was bad.

They did. Any deviation an exact method is instant death. They said that. Slayer said the same thing, the only difference is that you aren't trying to put a spin on his words.

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Guide posted...

Your response doesn't make any sense. You're removing any detail from the description to make it sound simpler. Aside from the bug, everything Slayer said was already described in the review.

Yeah, and my bug was pretty unique. I never heard of anyone else getting that particular bug.

There are other review X-play did that I think would be easier to critique, I remember wholly disagreeing with some reviews. They also did the Bob and Steve shit, which I loved.

https://youtu.be/wp9O6FvyD0U
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lmao
my brother and I did gagdubs when playing, inspired by that

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Guide posted...

lmao
my brother and I did gagdubs when playing, inspired by that

I always wanted to do that. Me and my friend used to put on shit movies and dub the voices on the movies with the sound muted lol.
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Guide posted...

They did. Any deviation an exact method is instant death. They said that. Slayer said the same thing, the only difference is that you aren't trying to put a spin on his words.

its easy to avoid nightwalkers, right? Wrong

theres just one correct path to your goal

so when you make a misstep, and you will (oh shit people make mistakes in video games =0)

you have to start each mission over from the very beginning

...I hope you can see how there is no logical flow to this. Making missteps is not relevant to linearity. If anything, linearity would help minimize missteps by reducing potential for players deviating from the intended level structure. Difficulty is not tied to linearity. Having more paths available would not mean nightwalkers would not be in those paths, or easier to avoid.

Slayers post tied player error to the stealth mechanics instead of the linearity, and illustrated that the game itself was unreliably coded so that even without player error, the stealth mechanics would result in death.

X-Play sucks.

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The game felt like Splinter Cell if your fingers were broken and the enemies were omnipotent.
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tc exuding extreme boomer energy itt

AlisLandale posted...

Making missteps is not relevant to linearity. If anything, linearity would help minimize missteps by reducing potential for players deviating from the intended level structure.

This doesn't hold at all, and you've confused linearity for linear level structure. Level structure is one aspect that can be linear. The more linear a sequence, for example, the tighter restrictions you have on what can actually be done. In a game with strict punishments, this is tied into difficulty by forcing the player into a sequence that will result in punishment. They have no alternatives but that sequence, thus, linearity.

And yes, a single misstep forcing you to restart an entire level conveys the point quite well. Even most games that are considered difficult don't enforce punishment on that level.

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