Board 8 > Watching Music so you don't have to (spoilers)

(+) Yeah! (+)

About half an hour in right now and I have to talk about it

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Movie opens with a Sia music video, where Maddie Ziegler dances while making what I assume are supposed to be "autistic faces". And not like the funny faces normally in a Sia video, these are clearly intentional.

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Maddie's performance is pretty much exactly what people say it is. Think Ben Stiller in Tropic Thunder

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8 minutes in Music's grandma dies of a stroke after being startled by a popsicle stick fun fact that seven is the only two syllable number from 1-10. She has to count out loud to confirm it to herself

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Music has to be taken in by her recovering addict half sister, who explains in exposition that their mom was also an addict

Another sia music video

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Tig Notaro appears as a monotone Yo Gabba Gabba host on the tv in the background and it's hilarious

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Music smashes some glasses because Kate Hudson doesn't know how to braid her hair

Leslie Odom Jr shows up as their neighbor, named Ebo, speaking in a thick African accent. He stops Music's fit by laying down on top of her and holding her arms down. You can't make this shit up

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"I'm not climbing on top of this small screaming white girl in the middle of this park"

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Ben Schwartz appears as a a friendly-yet-threatening hippie drug dealer and it is by far the best scene in the movie so far

Another sia music video but this time Kate Hudson is dancing

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Kate Hudson successfully calms music down by laying on her, with music facedown in the dirt in a public park. This is a touching scene apparently

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Another sia music video starring kate hudson and leslie odom jr

She's in love with Ebo now and this movie isn't even about Music anymore

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I am disappointed in Leslie, Tig and Ben Schwartz for being a part of this mess.

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Kate Hudson asks the guy at the park shop for love advice while pawning her grandma's jewelery for drug money

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There's apparently a subplot about Music's heavyset friend who wants to be a dancer but his dad wants him to box?????

Where did any of that come from

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Music herself has been literally pushed into the background to just dance around, make faces, and go "AUUHH" a lot

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Music has a nightly routine of saying "Go to bed!" when she's going to sleep for the night

Kate Hudson flirting tells LOJ "maybe she's trying to tell us something"

*Vomit*

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LOJ music video

For the record these music videos aren't like in scene or on character or anything, they're just in brightly lit voids in weird outfits

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Kate Hudson brings Music on a drug deal

She sees a Sia wig and shouts "is that a Sia wig? Is she here???"

Sia is indeed there as herself and she's buying drugs to send them to people in need in haiti????????

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Another music video where they try on silly outfits

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This is the Balan Wonderworld of movies.

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Ben Schwartz has dreads and is in a kimono

I wish this movie was entirely about him

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Johnbobb posted...

Kate Hudson brings Music on a drug deal

She sees a Sia wig and shouts "is that a Sia wig? Is she here???"

Sia is indeed there as herself and she's buying drugs to send them to people in need in haiti????????

Pffffffff I hadn't heard about that, that's amazing

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Music is eating gum from the bottom of a park bench

She got stung by a bee and apparently she's deathly allergic

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Thank you for your service.

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Fat kid hugs hugs opponent in the boxing ring instead of fighting him

Kate (by the way her characters names is Zu, short for Kazu, pronounced like the instrument) lost a ton of drugs in the park when Music for stung (oh btw music is fine now she is deathly allergic but they administered an epipen at the hospital so it's all good)

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Zu relapsed and did another music video

Fat kid's parents are very angry and yelling in chinese. Kid's dad accidentally kills him???? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUBPLOT

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Now he's dancing with Music while Kate hudson sings

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Johnbobb posted...

Kid's dad accidentally kills him???? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUBPLOT

I was waiting specifically for your reaction to this lmao

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Music's dead friend and grandma ride away on a bike together

Dead friend tucks the drunk Kate Hudson into bed after she passes out in the street

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Like she says she likes his suit? Did she imagine the ghost boy? Did she even know him? I don't think they ever interacted prior. What a weird decision

Anyway zu's face is REALLY busted up now from tripping on some stairs while drunk

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She's not even trying to clean it up there's just dried blood all over her face

Music video surrounded by oversize props while zu montages recovery

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Drug dealer who threatened her had no response to her losing a buttload of drugs

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2 minutes after massive relapse Zu is fine again and has matured as a person and has decided to give up Music for adoption at a hospital

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Music, who has not spoken for the last hour, tells Zu not to go so she decides to her her

Zu crashes Ebo' brother's wedding to say she finally understands love and they kiss

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cue music video

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Ebo starts playing piano and Music starts singing along despite wearing headphones and a cd player

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Music has a dog now. Credits music video

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For some reason I thought this had an Oscar nomination and I was wondering how the fuck

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Post credit focus on tig Notaro's bizarre kids show and the whole thing is Fuckin trip

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paperwarior posted...

For some reason I thought this had an Oscar nomination and I was wondering how the fuck

It got two Golden Globe nominations, including Best Picture

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Contrasting Madonna's famous saying, it turns out, Music does NOT make the people come together

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10/10 topic

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