Current Events > What is it called when it feels like you're not in control of your own feelings?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like, you like being around someone, but it causes you pain at the same time and you can't enjoy the good times as much as you want to because of the pain. You try to reconcile whatever aspect is hurting you with the net positive of the relationship that you like, but despite your better efforts to overcome it, the pain persists and makes it untenable to be around someone despite liking them.

Or you make a positive change in your life and commit to healthy living, but over time your mood drops to even worse levels than when you were treating your body like shit. So you compromise and try to live a life of balance, but the unhealthy lifestyle habits creep right back in and try to lure you down a path of self-destruction when healthy living seems impossible.

You're conscious of all of this - there's a disconnect between knowing and feeling. You're making a conscious effort to work on the bad stuff, but that's not working. The good stuff is negligible or outright nullified by the harm you're trying to overcome.

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external locus of control?

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like invasive thoughts?

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Being a pussy.

k1nG_j0hN posted...

Being a pussy.

oh ho ho!

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Anteaterking posted...

external locus of control?

Not quite. I tend to be pretty hard on myself, but I can reflect and acknowledge the effort I've made and how much I've grown when the time is right. It's less that I feel like fate is kicking me in the nards and more like I'm trying to overcome bad things but can't.

The Trent posted...

like invasive thoughts?

A little bit. For the purposes of this thread, the process is like:

• Enjoy being around someone
• Begin to feel like something changed and it's my fault
• Recognise that the negativity I'm feeling is coming from within me and I would probably be okay if I could move past it and live according to my better nature
• Feel bad anyway until the negativity outweighs the positivity
• Burn that bridge because it's too painful to be around them

k1nG_j0hN posted...

Being a pussy.

I mean sure, to a degree, but the problem would persist whether I fully bought into the "don't be a pussy" mindset or not. It'd just hurt more when my feelings inevitably become toxic.

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I was watching Philosophy Tube last night and Karl Marx's theory of labor alienation or whatever came up. The theory itself was interesting, but the term "alienation" resonated with me and I decided to google it to see how applicable that term could be to my current situation.

I found a webpage by Healthline, and it outlined a couple different types of alienation. I identified the most with isolation, powerlessness and self-estrangement. The definition it provided of alienation, as well as those three types it lists, helped me make sense of what I was feeling. Article's here - https://www.healthline.com/health/alienation

I have an appointment on Friday, I might be able to get some more mental healthcare to help me through what I'm going through. And I'm hoping I'll hear from my psychiatrist - I feel like I've either been dropped without a word or she's died in the month between appointments, but the reality of the situation is probably that we took a month off and I forgot. I'll know by the end of April, and even then it might have been a couple of months for me to fill out my mood charts, with appointments resuming at the end of May. So I'm hoping that I'll have some support on the horizon.

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Life

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That's textbook addiction.

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Xenozoa425 posted...

That's textbook addiction.

How so?

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Sounds like CBT may be helpful

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Waddlez posted...

Sounds like CBT may be helpful

My cock and balls will remain untortured, thank you very much.

(thank you, I'll look into cognitive behavioural therapy to see if it's for me)


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MrMallard posted...

How so?

Wanting or craving something in order to fill a void or feel a certain way, even though you are fully aware of the damage or harm it may cause, you still go out of your way for it.

Whether it's food, smoking, alcohol, people, hobbies, etc.

Basically, you would be ranking short-term pleasure higher than long-term satisfaction, despite being fully conscious of the former being more harmful to longevity. "It's more important for me to feel really good right now, than to feel alright all day long", which is an issue of lacking self-discipline as well.

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