Current Events > Unrealistic things in video games

(+) Yeah! (+)

Out in the desert, not a soul for miles:

*Fires one round from a rifle*

Cops appear out of thin air to take you down
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Ryu gets his head piledriven into the concrete from nine feet in the air--twice--and pops up both times as if nothing happened. Ten seconds later, he's knocked unconscious by a foot sweep.

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jpenny2 posted...

Ryu gets his head piledriven into the concrete from nine feet in the air--twice--and pops up both times as if nothing happened. Ten seconds later, he's knocked unconscious by a foot sweep.

LOL!

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Max Payne wears nothing but a trench coat in the first two games, and yet he has an arsenal that would make G.I. Joe jealous.

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sLaCkEr408___RJ posted...

Regenerative HP. Are we to assume characters have magical healing factor.

Compared to everything else mentioned ITT and other things Im thinking of, this is probably one of the most realistic aspects of video games, albeit sped up x1000.

Its better than running around healing by any other means such as picking up a med kit, leveling up, reaching a checkpoint, or consuming something to instantly have full health.

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going to bed in skyrim and then waking up feeling "well rested"

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Rubberbanding.

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Falling a sleep instantly and for 8 hours like in fallout.

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Just walking into a stranger's house and them not freaking out or contacting authorities.

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Shooting games where you can recover from multiple bullet wounds by taking cover for a few seconds.

Dragons.

In GTA you can accidentally tap a cop car and get out of the car. They get out and instantly start shooting you. You can also kill thousands of people and then run back and hide in your house/apartment for a few minutes and the cops will forget it.

DuranOfForcena posted...

yeah, it's pretty much physically impossible to draw a sword like that in real life

in games that do it that way, the animation is basically just the sword phasing through the sheathe:

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ReasonableIllDiscus-mobile.mp4

thats why katanas have a curved blade. Youre supposed to be able to draw it from the back and slash in one motion

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Supposed expert swordsman: Behold my ultimate technique!
*pointlessly spins around fifty times before wildly flailing a giant unusable blob of metal in the general direction of the enemy*

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Try_Another___ posted...

thats why katanas have a curved blade. Youre supposed to be able to draw it from the back and slash in one motion

Arent katanas usually worn around the waist?

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Romance plots

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MaxEffingBemis posted...

Arent katanas usually worn around the waist?

Yes. They didn't wear them on the back unless they were dumb

Panthera posted...

Supposed expert swordsman: Behold my ultimate technique!
*pointlessly spins around fifty times before wildly flailing a giant unusable blob of metal in the general direction of the enemy*

The second you start spinning you give your opponent your back for them to stabby stabby

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CouldBeAnAlt posted...

Romance plots

• Conversation where the love interest reveals their story
• Flirty comments and blushing/embarrassment from love interest
• Flirting reaches limit and everything is put on pause and the two characters don't talk to each other much at all
• Sex before final mission
• The end

Or;

• Which of these girls with a high social ranking do you want to bang?
• Okay

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Yuzuriha has a lot of stuff going for her. She uses Iaido with a sword that has like a 6 foot blade, she moves so fast she just leaves a blur behind (in heels no less), her pants are magically held up by a belt that she doesn't bother to buckle, her coat thing stays on her shoulders all the time but can also come off at will, produce more fabric, and wrap people up then magically reappear on her back after, she can smack people with her sword from a distance way longer than should be possible (fucking full screen EX Second Type: Bloom), and lastly...I don't think normal shirt should fit so snugly around her rack like that. Not a complaint; just an observation.


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In a land where there are no computers, forensics, police databases, or cameras, the sword I took from a city on the other side of the province is somehow marked as "stolen" and can't be sold to local merchants.

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Try_Another___ posted...

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


thats why katanas have a curved blade. Youre supposed to be able to draw it from the back and slash in one motion

Mind explaining to the class exactly how that would work?
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UnholyMudcrab posted...

Mind explaining to the class exactly how that would work?

Hakumen
https://youtu.be/MLj6IhRQac0?t=46

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YourLovelyTina posted...

on the subject of projectiles:

arrows always fly perfectly straight and don't arch

BotW is one of the only games I've played where you have to actually account for the arrow's trajectory

Dark Souls ruined me. I got so used to aiming high and to the left to account for an arc, that I miss in games that make it fly like a bullet.

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DuranOfForcena posted...

Smackems posted...

Any character putting a sword in a sheath on their back

yeah, it's pretty much physically impossible to draw a sword like that in real life

in games that do it that way, the animation is basically just the sword phasing through the sheathe:

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ReasonableIllDiscus-mobile.mp4

There was a Critical Role episode where Matt Mercer mentioned that the mocap actor just drops the sword on the ground behind them.
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Sometime, early on in the game...

*Runs and jumps unimpeded and dextrously while decked in an attire made of light fabric and carrying virtually nothing aside from a couple health items and a knife*

A few hours later...

*Runs and jumps unimpeded and dextrously while decked in heavy combat armor, carrying a half a dozen guns several types explosives, hundreds of bullets, and a wide assortment of healing items and crafting components*

But then...

*Collects a single roll of duct tape*
*Becomes overencumbered*

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Wandering into the house of strangers and talking to their dog is perfectly acceptable

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all fighters in 2d fighters are ambidextrous.. that is they switch between conventional and southpaw stance depending on which side of the screen they're on.

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Eating food found in an ancient dungeon not visited by humans in centuries.

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Medpacks and weapons in unexplored tombs.

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Getting shot twenty times in The Getaway and leaning against a wall until you're back to perfect health.

Doing so even removed the bloodstains from your clothes.

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gunplagirl posted...

Wandering into the house of strangers and talking to their dog is perfectly acceptable

Dragon Quest takes this much further. You can walk in a house, break all their pots and barrels, read books off the bookshelf, help yourself to their savings they keep in a treasure chest, and go upstairs and talk to their young children while they are in bed. On your way out the homeowner will tell you to have a safe journey.
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bigtiggie23 posted...

Dragon Quest takes this much further. You can walk in a house, break all their pots and barrels, read books off the bookshelf, help yourself to their savings they keep in a treasure chest, and go upstairs and talk to their young children while they are in bed. On your way out the homeowner will tell you to have a safe journey.

In Radiata Stories you can kick someone twice to initiate a duel with them, then afterwards continue kicking them and they'll just take it.

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nfearurspecimn posted...

The entire hockey game grinding to a halt while we wait for two hockey players to duke it out.

Not sure if this is a joke, if so whoosh on me but.......it actually does irl.

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Random ppl telling you there life story.

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cjsdowg posted...

Random ppl telling you there life story.

And also giving you, a complete stranger, a long, difficult, potentially dangerous quest or task.

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The young protagonist sleeps in a roomy second floor bedroom. His mom apparently sleeps in either the kitchen or the living room on the main floor.

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bigtiggie23 posted...

Dragon Quest takes this much further. You can walk in a house, break all their pots and barrels, read books off the bookshelf, help yourself to their savings they keep in a treasure chest, and go upstairs and talk to their young children while they are in bed. On your way out the homeowner will tell you to have a safe journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-daDkpA7emc

Best episode ever

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Thompson posted...

Sometime, early on in the game...

*Runs and jumps unimpeded and dextrously while decked in an attire made of light fabric and carrying virtually nothing aside from a couple health items and a knife*

A few hours later...

*Runs and jumps unimpeded and dextrously while decked in heavy combat armor, carrying a half a dozen guns several types explosives, hundreds of bullets, and a wide assortment of healing items and crafting components*

But then...

*Collects a single roll of duct tape*
*Becomes overencumbered*

another one is how you can carry tons of items and weapons in your hammerspace inventory, but there's ONE item you have to lug around by hand until it reaches its destination

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triple jumping.
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You walk into a store, and they'll just buy every piece of crap you have.
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moh82sy posted...

You walk into a store, and they'll just buy every piece of crap you have.

"A twig you picked up off the ground? I'll give you 5 gold for it!"

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Being able to inflict blind on Daredevil in Marvel Strike Force lol

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Payzmaykr posted...

Shooting games where you can recover from multiple bullet wounds by taking cover for a few seconds.

It depends on the game.
In CoD, you heal your injuries with no good explanation.
In Fortnite, you don't heal at all.
In Halo CE, Halo 3: ODST, and Halo Reach, you don't heal (well, a little in Reach), but in the rest of the games there's lore saying there's medical gel in your suit that can heal your wounds.
Why the gel only activates after you haven't been damaged for several seconds and stops the moment someone hits your shield's isn't explained, but eh.

Panthera posted...

Supposed expert swordsman: Behold my ultimate technique!
*pointlessly spins around fifty times before wildly flailing a giant unusable blob of metal in the general direction of the enemy*

I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku!

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Town Amenities

• Hospital?
• School?
• Library?
• Police Station?
• Grocery Store?
• Pokemon Gym?
• Pokemon Center?
• Poke Mart?

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jpenny2 posted...

Town Amenities
* Hospital?
* School?
* Library?
* Police Station?
* Grocery Store?
* Pokemon Gym?
* Pokemon Center?
* Poke Mart?

Poke Mart is implied to be a grocery store. There are plenty of shelves that seem to have non-game items. It's just that a 10 y/o doesn't buy them, I guess.
It is hilarious how most games have one single school in the entire region. Maybe this is where all of those "I had to hike uphill in a snowstorm to get to school every day" stories came from.

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Caroniver posted...

Poke Mart is implied to be a grocery store. There are plenty of shelves that seem to have non-game items. It's just that a 10 y/o doesn't buy them, I guess.
It is hilarious how most games have one single school in the entire region. Maybe this is where all of those "I had to hike uphill in a snowstorm to get to school every day" stories came from.

Red: "Can I buy a head of lettuce?"

Cashier: "No, you gotta be 18 to purchase groceries here. But we do have a sale on Ultra Balls today, if you want to go catch some of those dangerous monsters outside of town."

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jpenny2 posted...

Red: "Can I buy a head of lettuce?"

Cashier: "No, you gotta be 18 to purchase groceries here. But we do have a sale on Ultra Balls today, if you want to go catch some of those dangerous monsters outside of town."

again, the world of Pokemon is fucked up

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jpenny2 posted...

Red: "Can I buy a head of lettuce?"

Cashier: "No, you gotta be 18 to purchase groceries here. But we do have a sale on Ultra Balls today, if you want to go catch some of those dangerous monsters outside of town."

You need at least three badges before they let you buy condoms

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jpenny2 posted...

Town Amenities

Hospital?
School?
Library?
Police Station?
Grocery Store?

to be fair, like 99% of towns in 99% of RPGs don't have basic amenities.

They'll have an inn, weapon and armor shops that only the heroes use, maybe a church or clinic that heals status effects and cures death (maybe being able revive people is why they don' bother with hospitals?), and in rare cases, an item shop that actually sells food and not just stuff only the heroes use.

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Panthera posted...

You need at least three badges before they let you buy condoms

XD

YourLovelyTina posted...

to be fair, like 99% of towns in 99% of RPGs don't have basic amenities.

They'll have an inn, weapon and armor shops that only the heroes use, maybe a church or clinic that heals status effects and cures death (maybe being able revive people is why they don' bother with hospitals?), and in rare cases, an item shop that actually sells food and not just stuff only the heroes use.

And God forbid any town in an RPG should have a toilet.

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jpenny2 posted...

And God forbid any town in an RPG should have a toilet.

or be like in Majora's Mask where there's only one toilet in the whole world and someone lives in it
O_o

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Panthera posted...

You need at least three badges before they let you buy condoms

In all fairness thats probably because in that world badges = Chadness so some loser with one or two badges wont be getting any action in the first place.

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