Current Events > I have memory issues, but nobody takes them seriously no matter what I do

(+) Yeah! (+)

Here's how bad it is:

In Aug 2018-2019, I lived in a 3 bedroom apartment, it was me and my other friend Alex. I legitimately don't recall if there ever was a third person who lived there and if so, how long they lived there.

A year of my life, I can't recall if I had a 3rd roommate or not. It would seem odd if I didn't, but I can't for the life of me recall anybody.

I plead with doctors for help and they basically ignore me.

Ditto for my severe depression issues, nobody cares no matter how clearly you make the point you need help...

"um, let's do some blood work and we'll check in, in a month." is what you pay people a few hundred dollars to hear, and that's about it.

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cuh posted...

Could it be the effect of a traumatic event? Ive thought about this too. Like Ive blocked out a whole year of dorming with this guy in college because it was so cringe >_>

but sorry to hear that, TC

It's possible, but I think it nearly holds true for most of the past 10 years.

Even this last year which was relatively compared to all my miserable years feels mostly "blocked out".

I might be so far gone I'm perpetually traumatized.

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smoke more weed

Its pretty common for people with depression to have memory problems. You probably wont find any answers through bloodwork.

Id suggest keeping a journal. Even if you dont write very much, some bullet points or a sentence or two about your day will help you keep track of your life. Also make sure to get a decent sleep every night. Sleep is when your brain kind of reorganizes itself and makes sense of what happened during the day, and if you arent sleeping well, the processes involved in memory formation and retention are affected.

The long-term fix though is treating your depression. Its good that youre trying to get help from your doctors. Sorry they arent really hearing you. Keep trying - its worth it, and you will feel better one day once youre finally able to connect with the right people and treatments. Look up psychiatrists and psychologists in your area, phone a few, and ask their offices directly about getting an appointment if your primary care doctor isnt taking initiative to refer you to anyone. If youre already seeing someone for your mental health and youre not seeing improvement, switch doctors. Switch medicines. Try a different type of therapy. You can overcome this eventually.

No one will take your depression or "issues" seriously.

They will say it's all in your head.

They apparently forget they have "moods" and "emotions"

Well, their "anger" and "tiredness" and "emotions" should all be in their heads too.

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renasunflash posted...

Its pretty common for people with depression to have memory problems. You probably wont find any answers through bloodwork.

Id suggest keeping a journal. Even if you dont write very much, some bullet points or a sentence or two about your day will help you keep track of your life. Also make sure to get a decent sleep every night. Sleep is when your brain kind of reorganizes itself and makes sense of what happened during the day, and if you arent sleeping well, the processes involved in memory formation and retention are affected.

The long-term fix though is treating your depression. Its good that youre trying to get help from your doctors. Sorry they arent really hearing you. Keep trying - its worth it, and you will feel better one day once youre finally able to connect with the right people and treatments. Look up psychiatrists and psychologists in your area, phone a few, and ask their offices directly about getting an appointment if your primary care doctor isnt taking initiative to refer you to anyone. If youre already seeing someone for your mental health and youre not seeing improvement, switch doctors. Switch medicines. Try a different type of therapy. You can overcome this eventually.

Thanks. I do try for good sleep, it was easier when I worked from home and wasn't 9 to 5. I have sleep apnea so that doesn't help either.

Finally I've been talking with psychologists for years, so unfortunately while I won't give up, I don't have tons of hope my depression will go away any time soon.

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This seems like a very scary and bizarre thing. Like Alzheimer's before you're even old >_>

The secret to depression is an environment change.

Unfortunately, most of the others cannot, will not, or will disavow it.

And the self will not seek help in USA do to stupid shit. It happened to my gfs sister. Because of an abusive husband.

They said 1 year....it is now *4* years.

Her court date is next year.


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Institutions....do not go to them.


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DoctorPiranha3 posted...

This seems like a very scary and bizarre thing. Like Alzheimer's before you're even old >_>

It is.

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Tbh that roomate could have been me. I never get out of my room so it is as if im never there.

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Maybe they do take you seriously and your memory issues just make you think they don't.

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DoctorPiranha3 posted...

This seems like a very scary and bizarre thing. Like Alzheimer's before you're even old >_>

I know! I hate it! Which is why I need help and beg for it but doctors don't give af.

MI4 REAL posted...

The secret to depression is an environment change.

Unfortunately, most of the others cannot, will not, or will disavow it.

And the self will not seek help in USA do to stupid shit. It happened to my gfs sister. Because of an abusive husband.

They said 1 year....it is now *4* years.

Her court date is next year.

I've moved across the country, have a new job, I've done about all the environment change you can.

It's because I'm lonely af and full of regret and self hate that I'm depressed.

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My memory is full of gaping depression-holes, too. I don't sweat it though, because I figure whatever I forgot must not have been that important.

You could try looking at it that way, though I know what works for one person is by no means guaranteed to work for another.

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USA doctors are asshole.

At least the hospital workers are ok.

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They don't refer you to a shrink or anything?

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Why do you seem to think doctors have some magic pill that would save you but they are hiding it? It is a brain issue dude. Sorry to tell you but that's a wrap buddy.

This thread again, huh

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Memory can be a bitch.

You will lose 99.9% of what you have absorbed.

Some will stay for many reasons, but most are negative, because it is biological to remember negative memories of the past, that is a biological response for many species. Those who eat Monarch Butterflies, will not eat one again, due to their bad taste.

The stigma is that you will remember the worst, because it perpetuates survival.

This, is sadly, the ultimate learning experience.

How you approach this is up to you.

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Dingydang166 posted...

Why do you seem to think doctors have some magic pill that would save you but they are hiding it? It is a brain issue dude. Sorry to tell you but that's a wrap buddy.

Then why do my MRIs "look fine"?

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EnvoyOfTheLight posted...

They don't refer you to a shrink or anything?

They kinda do, but I've been seeing shrinks the vast majority of my life...

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Life is generally futile.

It's a trust issue.

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This is what you need to do.

You need to find a purpose in life greater than yourself, or greater than your substance.


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joe40001 posted...

They kinda do, but I've been seeing shrinks the vast majority of my life...

There's not gonna be a different kind of doctor, y'know.

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MI4 REAL posted...

This is what you need to do.

You need to find a purpose in life greater than yourself, or greater than your substance.

I don't have a substance.

And every time I try to follow my purpose the universe responds with a GIANT "Fuck you, joe!"


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There is a reason why so many switch to a substance.

Don't give in.

Are you sure you are not on a substance?

you need to evaluate what is happening first.

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i really hate being serious.

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do you develop any other memory related issues besides that?
was your memory really good prior to that?
has it gotten worse and affected other things such as motor skills, coordination, increased confusion, drowsiness etc?

my dad has had a really good memory, but he was experiencing memory issues last April. he then suddenly started feeling really disoriented and threw up many times for two days without any reason.. we took him to the hospital on a a Friday, and he was diagnosed with grade 3 brain cancer. Supposedly he could have had a tumor for 1-2 years prior to the diagnosis, but not have any symptoms shown, or at least not significant ones. looking back, a year prior our family noticed a behavioral change (he would snap at my mom for things) and he would occasionally complain that he was starting to complain of memory loss (mainly short term).

so if you think it's really important and your cognitive skills and memory have been impacted significantly or a cause for concern, go to your doctor and request an MRI and ct scan. it won't be easy to get, but it's good to rule out a brain tumor.. and if it's not that, it could be something else that could be treated.

it's also possible you got a mini stroke and had some kind of memory loss, like forgetting that other person. it's a good idea to get it checked out

tl:dr my dad was complaining of memory loss last April for two weeks and he started throwing up and getting really disoriented. he got diagnosed with a grade 3 brain tumor. he might have had the tumor for 1-2 years prior.

in your situation, you could have also gotten something like a mini stroke to make you forget that you had another person living with you. I'd get it checked out. MRI, and catscan

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Do you have a sister that will go with you to get an evaluation?

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ehhwhatever posted...

Do you have a sister that will go with you to get an evaluation?

No

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joe40001 posted...

Here's how bad it is:

In Aug 2018-2019, I lived in a 3 bedroom apartment, it was me and my other friend Alex. I legitimately don't recall if there ever was a third person who lived there and if so, how long they lived there.

A year of my life, I can't recall if I had a 3rd roommate or not. It would seem odd if I didn't, but I can't for the life of me recall anybody.

I plead with doctors for help and they basically ignore me.

Ditto for my severe depression issues, nobody cares no matter how clearly you make the point you need help...

"um, let's do some blood work and we'll check in, in a month." is what you pay people a few hundred dollars to hear, and that's about it.

have you checked with Alex?

What is your diet? do you deal with chemicals or drink a lot of diet soda? Does your memory result in other issues like being unable to recall on a day by day who a president is, or members of your family?

Were you particularly depressed during that time? I've found being depressed has made me miss things entirely, even big things, and my memory is usually excellent.

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ShyOx posted...

have you checked with Alex?

What is your diet? do you deal with chemicals or drink a lot of diet soda? Does your memory result in other issues like being unable to recall on a day by day who a president is, or members of your family?

Were you particularly depressed during that time? I've found being depressed has made me miss things entirely, even big things, and my memory is usually excellent.

I have chronic severe depression.

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joe40001 posted...

I have chronic severe depression.

Yeah but them first few questions lol

What are your lifegoals? I've got manic depression(the big ups, the low downs) and have for over a decade, maybe that's just how I'm wired. Lifegoals is a funny big-sounding word but if you don't have them then you don't have anything to reach for; if you don't have them you have to find them.

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Also if there was never a third roomate, then it's really not that weird that you don't remember them or why they weren't there and you don't remember why, and then it's not important.

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ShyOx posted...

Yeah but them first few questions lol

What are your lifegoals? I've got manic depression(the big ups, the low downs) and have for over a decade, maybe that's just how I'm wired. Lifegoals is a funny big-sounding word but if you don't have them then you don't have anything to reach for; if you don't have them you have to find them.

I have dreams but every time I chase them I get totally wrecked for having tried.

My diet is shitty. I remember the names of my family, but not like all my cousins and shit.

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Yeah but what are they?

By diet I mostly am talking about chemicals and diet soda and stuff. Aspartame has been connected to memory loss, I have an uncle who was told to quit drinking it.

And I don't think a lot of people remember all their cousins if they don't see them a lot. Is there other evidence for poor memory, as in does it affect your day to day or is it just something concerning you vaguely? There are exercises and things to help improve memory. I read a book on it once

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ShyOx posted...

Yeah but what are they?

By diet I mostly am talking about chemicals and diet soda and stuff. Aspartame has been connected to memory loss, I have an uncle who was told to quit drinking it.

And I don't think a lot of people remember all their cousins if they don't see them a lot. Is there other evidence for poor memory, as in does it affect your day to day or is it just something concerning you vaguely? There are exercises and things to help improve memory. I read a book on it once

I haven't seen concrete confirmed studies about diet soda and memory, just more "it might be a thing, we are testing theories"

Even so, yes I like diet soda a lot. I overeat, I'm over weight. I'm miserable and unhealthy because of my depression, but even when I fast and am healthy this doesn't lift (my depression never really lifts)

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joe40001 posted...

I haven't seen concrete confirmed studies about diet soda and memory, just more "it might be a thing, we are testing theories"

Even so, yes I like diet soda a lot. I overeat, I'm over weight. I'm miserable and unhealthy because of my depression, but even when I fast and am healthy this doesn't lift (my depression never really lifts)

Well I'd definitely stop drinking diet soda. Odds are soda companies are dumping money into suppressing studies, it's a pretty hard thing to fund because it's a long term study without a financial payoff.

What are your dreams?

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@cuh [LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Cringe in what way, if you don't mind me asking? I think I have a similar experience and your suggestion could explain a lot of things if it's similar

DavidZ2844 posted...

@cuh

Cringe in what way, if you don't mind me asking? I think I have a similar experience and your suggestion could explain a lot of things if it's similar

When I was younger and heard about repressed memories, I always wondered how someone could ever just not remember something that happened to them and was puzzled. Then I grew up and realized how much I had repressed about parts of my childhood. Not the same poster but it was bizarre realizing some of the things I'd repressed.

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ShyOx posted...

Also if there was never a third roomate, then it's really not that weird that you don't remember them or why they weren't there and you don't remember why, and then it's not important.

This. If there was no roommate, then this seems like a normal memory lapse. Especially if you're over 30.

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cuh posted...

This is very particular to me, and honestly I have never opened up about it to anyone. Long story short, I grew up super poor in a neighborhood that was literally all Hispanic, immigrant, low-income, and then went to a fairly prestigious college on the opposite coast. So I kinda just had many dumb experiences and faux pas, if I may call them that, they revealed my ineptitude and, perhaps, the sheer fact that I did not belong there then again Im also super reserved and probably not good around people in general

Amount of cringe I've blocked out(not talking repressed memory) >>> Cringe I remember

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bump.

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