Current Events > If someone is terminally ill, is it rude to say, "Get well soon."

(+) Yeah! (+)

Just curious if my first reaction is on point with what normal people would think. Id question the intent or think they misused the phrase.

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Ehhh...

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Dumb question.

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Probably less than telling them to rest in peace

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I mean why not ask them if theyre excited by a movie coming out next year

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SrRd_RacinG posted...

Dumb question.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/2000211-sports-and-racing-nfl/79275897

Third post. Yes, these guys go in on me as if Im the crazy person all the time.

Obviously, it just seems misused there. Point being, its weird that I called it out and people actually seem to argue with me that it is an odd thing to say there.

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When my grandma was on her death bed and they were about to pull life support, I said "it's gonna be all right". Not sure why I said that, but i've felt weird about it ever since.

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pogo_rabid posted...

When my grandma was on her death bed and they were about to pull life support, I said "it's gonna be all right". Not sure why I said that, but i've felt weird about it ever since.

When you meet your grandma in the afterlife she's going to be like that was a pretty weird thing to say

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So I probably shouldnt use that phrase towards an Alzheimers patient, even if I am trying to be nice?

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Probably not

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https://youtu.be/l5czdDuQ5Kw
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Jeez, and here I am thinking its completely socially acceptable.

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It's not really appropriate, but at the same time, I don't think it's intentional. Some people aren't used to expressing their empathy in certain situations and their mind might just default to something they're more familiar with.

>_>

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I feel like you're being sarcastic

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O sure because thats all there was to it. Youre terminally mad is all this proves.

TheBloodyChamp posted...

O sure because thats all there was to it. Youre terminally mad is all this proves.

There is no context where this is ok. Just take the L bro, youre always like this and then say that Im mad.

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cuh posted...

Yes but also in most contexts it is understood that it was an understandable faux pas

Its like when you see a friends social media post has a spelling or grammatical error, you notice it but you dont then private message them saying hey, you meant to write youre instead of your there.

Right, and that would be one thing to say and move forward. Arguing that its actually normal to say that is a completely separate (and stupid) thing to do.

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Conker posted...

There is no context where this is ok. Just take the L bro, youre always like this and then say that Im mad.

Well you are, and the truth is you melting down over there in that other thread and making a s*** show out of what was supposed to be tribute to Marty as he lays dying is more rude than anything that was said insensitively by accident. And now this wtf.

TheBloodyChamp posted...

Well you are, and the truth is you melting down over there in that other thread and making a s*** show out of what was supposed to be tribute to Marty as he lays dying is more rude than anything that was said insensitively by accident. And now this wtf.

As if you were required to argue with me in that topic instead of just acknowledging the fact rather than trying to keep it going.

Its amusing you always say that I will constantly respond about things you think Im wrong about, but you never learn to just not keep shit going then. If you know I will respond, why not just have some self-control and let it go yourself? The irony in you always acting like Im keeping it going, yet you purposely post just to get a response that you say youre expecting me to give...but then that its disrespectful of me to derail a tribute topic. Lmao!

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As for everybody else heres how it really went. In the thread announcing Marty Schottenheimers Alzheimers disease and hospice stay, somebody replied that it was sad and they hooked a Get well soon, coach onto the end of it. Not Get well soon period and not Get well soon without something thoughtful that preceded it. It was Get well soon, coach affectionately put after they acknowledged that it was a sad situation.

Self appointed gatekeeper warrior from the keyboard didnt like it, and I simply explained that it was meant in the same tone as when somebody says get well soon so we can get back to fishing next summer, knowing that they wont be going fishing next summer. Thats just kind of how people talk in those situations. If its not your style I respect that to but make such a big deal out of it as he did, and to take it so literally, with that much intensity, is dumb. And I think hes pretending anyway at this point.

I mean I know people have seen the movie Grumpy Old Men. Thats just how old men talk to each other. My Uncles Vietnam War buddy told him he was going to beat his ass if he didnt listen to the doctor when he was in bed with the Swine Flu.

Conker posted...

As if you were required to argue with me in that topic instead of just acknowledging the fact rather than trying to keep it going.

Hey I quit arguing remember but you just had to keep responding until you had a meltdown lol!

The post didnt say it was sad, jfc I linked and stated the post in question already.

I didnt dislike the post at all, nice incorrect assumption there. I literally just said, I dont think thats how that works. Suggesting the person didnt realize there is no getting well soon from Alzheimers.

Unlike your explanation that is wrong, nobody talks like that. Even with your shitty attempts to justify it with examples nobody would ever use in that circumstance without looking like an asshole.

Also, theres a difference between buddies saying stupid shit to each other if they dont make it from a situation they can. If I did something that could get myself killed when I was younger, my mom would say if you do that Im gonna kill you if youre not already dead. Im sure weve all heard something like that. Not even close to the same situation as that topic and youre trying really hard to justify someone else incorrectly using a phrase.

Oh Ive posted over two words, must be super mad!

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Correction, he did a sad face emoji and called Marty 1 of the best. That is the only place where I am merely technically wrong, as my point still stands way higher than this mad little keyboard warrior does on his high horse.

TheBloodyChamp posted...

Hey I quit arguing remember but you just had to keep responding until you had a meltdown lol!

You never stopped responding...you truly are delusional. Seek help.

The one time you attempted to take a step back, you say that I knew what you meant. The next post I simply said that I honestly didnt know what you meant and why, then all you could do was respond with a troll response. Thats worse.

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Conker posted...

You never stopped responding...you truly are delusional. Seek help.

The one time you attempted to take a step back, you say that I knew what you meant. The next post I simply said that I honestly didnt know what you meant and why, then all you could do was respond with a troll response. Thats worse.

It was 3 troll responses (aka not even arguing...nice try at a tweak there but nope) actually, because you kept responding to them, to which I finally responded the 4th time that I did that to prove that you were going to argue no matter what. Then you had your meltdown.

TheBloodyChamp posted...

It was 3 troll responses actually, because you kept responding to them, to which I finally responded the 4th time that I did that to prove that you were going to argue no matter what. Then you had your meltdown.

You think its clever but it just shows how immature you are to care to bait me. If I dont respond youd think you got me and repost about it later (because you legit hold onto that shit for years and bring stuff back up), if I do respond you act like you got me. So...yeah, Im always going to respond to something like that, especially when I have nothing to lose by doing so when Im correct.

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I mean, not necessarily I don't think.

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Conker posted...

You think its clever

Well it proved my point didnt it meltdown boy. Then you run over here and post this poll without telling the whole story, by extension implying more than asking if what was said was rude which of course leads most people to vote how they voted. You think thats clever.

TheBloodyChamp posted...

Well it proved my point didnt it meltdown boy. Then you run over here and post this poll without telling the whole story, by extension implying more than asking if what was said was rude which of course leads most people to vote how they voted. What a joke.

Proved what point again, that when someone is right and someone argues with them and posts incorrect things...its not weird to correct it. Holy shit, great point! You got me!

The fact you think more than a couple sentences is a meltdown just shows your inability to handle normal social circumstances. Youd probably be happier if all I did was post shitty GIF responses to you.

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I had quit arguing with you...just plain quit...and you kept on. Nobody else would have said anything, but you did, 3 more times. So then I trolled a lil sure to prove a point since you werent going to quit. Then you nuked all over yourself, proving the point plain as say. You know it to, thats why you changed arguing to responding earlier to try and make it sound a little different toward your favor. You know, like you did this whole joke of a poll.

If my family member/friend was in hospice/stage 4 cancer/etc and somebody said "get well soon" about them I'd think they were a fucking asshole, even if they meant it in a nice way. Shit thing to say.

"Damn that sucks", "so sorry to hear", "let me know if I can do anything to help", that's what I'd want to hear.

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There is too much nuance and context that could be relevant to this that it is not black and white.

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its not rude. its stupid, but it aint rude

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TheBloodyChamp posted...

I had quit arguing with you...just plain quit...and you kept on. Nobody else would have said anything, but you did, 3 more times. So then I trolled a lil sure.

But you know full well what I was saying either way.

That isnt you quitting. Its you leaving an assumption towards me that wasnt fact. So I replied with clarity of the intent and situation and even acknowledging I didnt get what you were meaning.

Then you chose to troll...of all times, then you chose to when I was literally just trying to understand where you were coming from and clarify.

Then you nuked all over yourself. You know it to, thats why you changed arguing to responding earlier to try and make it sound a little different toward your favor. You know, like you did this whole joke of a poll.

Again, you build these things in your head that Im doing something Im not purposely doing and you truly just have the wrong perspective. I dont even know wtf you mean by changed arguing to replying. You mean because I was attempting to understand where you were coming from and wasnt even arguing when you decided to go full troll? I wasnt intending to argue there, I actually didnt get what you were saying at that point (post 38 for reference).

I truly dont care if you replace arguing for replying or whatever you believe I was doing. I had no ill intent to misrepresent like youre thinking.

The context of this topic is the same in normal conversation as the post I linked to, I didnt change the fact the usage of that phrase is never like that in a conversation. I even linked to and stated the post shortly after creating this topic, so if you think I was trying to mislead, rather than the fact its too much to put in a topic title/poll, is another one of your own methods of convincing yourself I had some ill-conceived intent.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

There is too much nuance and context that could be relevant to this that it is not black and white.

Namely the original topic on a another board that TC didnt say was a thing, has since repeated parts of out of context, since ignored other parts of, and since just plain lied on. He knew what I meant the whole time.

Thats without even getting into real life obviously, which Ive tried to relate to this but he apparently knows what happened between my Uncle and his war buddy so...

TheBloodyChamp posted...

You knew what I meant. I know you knew what I meant. That will never change. Sorry lol

If you have to convince yourself of that to make your perspective of me work and to act like you werent instigating, then why are you even bothering to post at all? Clearly whatever you believe is not even on the same basis of what Ive attempted to explain to you. Its like you think I purposely was trying to derail that other topic rather than notice a random odd thing and comment about it.

Again, so weird that you truly cant comprehend or believe anything I say. If thats the attitude you always have...why do you even bother questioning me? You already have your mind made up, just stop replying to me if nothing I say ever changes your beliefs about what I say (even though to me, it would seem clear I didnt go into that other topic with some grand plan to derail it).

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i feel like the attempt to say something empathetic and caring is appreciated more than saying nothing at all, even if you muddle up the correct phrasing

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TheBloodyChamp posted...

Namely the original topic on a another board that TC didnt say was a thing, has since repeated parts of out of context, since ignored other parts of, and since just plain lied on. He knew what I meant the whole time.

You literally misquoted and misrepresented the posts ITT!? Not me. I linked to that other topic and pointed to the exact post. Its literally all here for reference.

If you can possibly quote where Ive repeated parts out of context, lied, or ignored parts, Ill gladly eat crow.

For reference: Post 37 ITT, directed to post 37 and 38 in that other topic. I literally pulled your quote with the part I actually was responding to (or arguing about if that makes you feel better).

Oh, cant forget about post 21. Yeah...

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Conker posted...

But you know full well what I was saying either way.

Yep you did.

See that post right there ^

Thats me not arguing. Its a response but its not arguing. Dont try to slickly switch the 2 to fit your narrative I mean confuse the 2 again.

op seems a bit mad

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TheBloodyChamp posted...

Yep you did.

See that post right there ^

Thats me not arguing. Its a response but its not arguing. Dont try to slickly switch the 2 to fit your narrative (that part should cover what you asked for in your more recent post) I mean confuse the 2 again.

That is literally you arguing and now attempting to change context.

It was in reply to this:

How is that annoying what I responded with? I seriously dont know that you knew what I meant, I honestly think you have terrible communication skills or are trolling me, but nether of which are the same as what I did at all.

So I said I dont know, and you say in response:

But you know full well what I was saying either way.

I stated i didnt know what you meant and you chose to argue that I did.

That is arguing exactly the opposite of what I said in the previous post quoted above. You simply attempted to say it like it was fact when it wasnt.

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cuh posted...

No offense here, but please try to look at this from another perspective: in my opinion, it seems even more disrespectful to completely derail a topic (which was about someone having Alzheimers) to prove to someone that you are correct on one wrongly-phrased, but not mal-intentioned, phrase

Im not going to disagree the end result but do you really think I was trying to derail that?

I was attempting to help that user to not use that in the wrong way. In the real world, Id expect that conversation to go something like this:

Get well soon coach
Thats not how that works.
Oh, I understand Alzheimers isnt curable. Sorry, didnt mean any disrespect and misused that.
No problem, just hoped you didnt actually think something differently about the situation.

Obviously, it wasnt even that poster that replied (unless its an alt).

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I think you both should just stop engaging each other but that's just me.

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nfearurspecimn posted...

I think you both should just stop engaging each other but that's just me.

Funny, I generally dont engage Bloody, he tends to reply to me when Im talking to other posters. Then when I acknowledge he exists tends to act like I was trolling or mad.

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that is someone's daughter ._. @ TC

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If someone is terminally ill, is it rude to say, "Get well soon."

As someone who works in a medical field and supervised the care of terminally ill patients: yes, that actually can be very offensive to both the patients and their families. It's generally considered poor taste and imo socially dysfunctional.

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ClockworkHare posted...

It's generally considered poor taste and imo socially dysfunctional.

ah hell I'm socially dysfunctional

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