Current Events > ITT, we make up stupid RPG items

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What it says on the tin.

The Cucumberbund - The Cucurbit Sash. (Waist)

Casts fear effect on felines when equipped (5ft radius).
Wearer can cast gross burp 3 times per day. (Cone of effect, 10 ft range)

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Skull of Mundane.
It's just a skull.

The Nightwinter Millennium Flower

A flower that only blooms at one night in the winter once every 1,000 years. Needed to exchange for the Potion of Flame.

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Questionmarktarius posted...

Skull of Mundane.
It's just a skull.

Ultima reference? Noice!

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Poison Potion

When used, it recovers 50 hp but poisons the user for 10 hp for each of the next 10 turns.

Scroll of summon earl

When used summons a guy named earl he's useless in combat and doesn't follow your commands.

Padded socks of sneaking. It adds +5 to sneaking if you are not wearing boots or shoes.

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The Magical Rasp

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Underwear Helm

You wear it on your head. Doesn't offer much protection.

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Ring of Charm Specific Person.

It can Charm one guy, but you don't know who.

5 charges.

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The completely pointless berry

When you use this item, you use up your turn, but get to go again immediately.

Electric Boots
they electrocute your feet

Holey Armor

A piece of armor with holes worn into it. Can't really protect against swords or arrows, and you'll get a chill when traveling through cold areas.

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Pacman.

If it is in your inventory eats up one inventory item per 30 minutes played. If it is in a storage it eats up 2 storage items per hour played. After Pacman eats 200 items it pops out of your inventory and tries to eat you. If he eats you, you die. If you kill him then you get shamed for killing him. You cannot toss this item once it is obtained.

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Potion of dodgy pinenut - Makes everything taste metallic. Forever.

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Coca-Cola
Restores 200 HP

Popsy
Causes poison

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Cently Belt

An item needed to equip the Holey Armor.

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Ring of turn self

When used the user runs in fear of them self lasts 10 seconds

Incredibly Heavy Armor

A suit of armor so heavy once you put it in you're unable to move. Offers the very best protection imaginable, but is it worth it?

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WilliamPorygon posted...

Coca-Cola
Restores 200 HP

Popsy
Causes poison

The Helm of Maccanmee - a truly hideous helmet depicting a denizen of one of the more nightmarish hells.
Doubles the effects of Coca-Cola and Popsy.
Causes fear in small children.

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Popcorn Seed

A hard seed that is impossible to chew. Must be exposed to heat to become Popcorn.
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<b>Fart Ring</b>
If you wear it sometimes your character farts.

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Rubber Sword

A sword made entirely of rubber. Useless when fighting.

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Bottle of Baileys
Roll a D20. On a roll of 2-20, character will yell Im old Gregg repeatedly for one hour. On a roll of 1, character will turn into a grandma.

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The Lifesteal Staff

A staff of immense power, allows the wielder to conjure spells incredibly fast and more powerful then you could with any other staff. However, this is only speculation as all who have so much as touched this staff have instantly died. Occasionally gives off a pale blue glow.

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Banana Dagger

Nevermind this was an actual weapon in a game hahaha

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Horny Helmut

A helmut with protruding horns, when worn your character is overcome by insatiable lust for everything they see.

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Pauldron of Pointing. Causes your character's shoulder to always be pointing towards your next quest objective. While you can still move, your character is unable to turn their body while it is equipped.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Horny Helmut

A helmut with protruding horns, when worn your character is overcome by insatiable lust for everything they see.

A Horny Helmet would be worn on your head.

A Horny Helmut would wear you.

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uwnim posted...

Pauldron of Pointing. Causes your character's shoulder to always be pointing towards your next quest objective. While you can still move, your character is unable to turn their body while it is equipped.

Part of a set with

Codpiece of Concealment. While worn, your crotch is invisible. Just your crotch. Everything else is visible.

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Staff of Wonderment: While equipped your base intelligence and Wisdom stats are a 4. All actions taken have a 50% chance of backfiring.

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Ring of ghost speak

When worn the wearer may speak to ghosts but ghosts aren't real

Pictsie Blade

Glows blue in the presence of lawyers.

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Stagmar posted...

Pictsie Blade

Glows blue in the presence of lawyers.

The Orb of Avocat - one use per day. Has a 50% chance of summoning a lawyer or an avocado.

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Backfire Magic Pistol

A gun of immense power, fires off magically charged rounds. However, the shots fire out the back and cannot be turned around, otherwise it won't work. Over the years, researchers have attempted to understand the workings of the pistol, though none have survived.

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Frictionless Boots.

Exactly what it says on the tin, put them on and suddenly they are completely unaffected by friction.

Good luck, asshole.

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The Cape of Nonflight

A completely useless cape that someone created thinking it gave him the power to fly. He lept off a cliff, confident in his creation. Unfortunately he did not survive the attempt.

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Earring of Translation

It translates all verbal speech into a language you nor anyone you know speaks.

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The Sybian

an electronic vehicle that you ride to fast travel from save point to save point as long as you saved at that spot at least once.

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DrizztLink posted...

Frictionless Boots.

Exactly what it says on the tin, put them on and suddenly they are completely unaffected by friction.

Good luck, asshole.

Inverse Frictionless Boots.
Same thing, except frictionless on the inside instead.

Eternal Helm of Blindness and Deafness

A helmet that has completely blocked off eye holes , with a special covering for the ears. Putting it on makes the wearer blind and deaf to everything around them, but with a catch. Once you put it on you can never take it off. Discovered by a group of explorers in an abandoned ruin. One of them put it on, and walked into a room filled with fire, despite his fellow explorers pleading to him to stop.

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Ring of invisibility, you become invisible while wearing this ring but only when no one is looking at you and you are naked.

Potion of Lotion

Necessary to maintain that crazy hairstyle through the fiercest of fights

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The Hasty Blindfold and Muzzle set

They double your character's speed each (so 4x speed when worn together) but they blind you so all physical attacks miss 90% of the time and they silence you so no magic.
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Earwig Robe
Robe made of insects. Thousands and thousands of insects, squirming and chattering together. All stats except Screaming reduced to 0 forever.

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