Current Events > Are you an incel if you've never had sex but have declined women you don't like?

(+) Yeah! (+)

For example, you've never had sex, but you've had a few dozen women in your life who tried to bang you by setting up dates, hugging, stalking, etc.

Are you still an incel?

I know it may seem like definitely no, but you're still involuntarily celibate if you narrow your dating pool so much there is no one.

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

involuntarily

have declined women

No.

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What about if no one's ever actively been interested in you, but you don't hold that against them?

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If you want to have sex and you can't, you're an incel. If it's any other situation, then you're not.

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EmbraceOfDeath posted...

If you want to have sex and you can't, you're an incel. If it's any other situation, then you're not.

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No, thatd be a volcel.

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

I know it may seem like definitely no, but you're still involuntarily celibate if you narrow your dating pool so much there is no one.

Involuntary means you have no choice. Standards are completely irrelevant.
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KogaSteelfang posted...

What about if no one's ever actively been interested in you, but you don't hold that against them?

Your feelings about the matter are irrelevant. The term refers solely to your situation, whether you can get laid or not.
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What part of "involuntary" do people not understand?

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So wait, am I volcel then? For example, I swipe right on Tinder for a year and no one likes me, but one day a fat chick I would never bone, asks me to come over for sex, and I say no.

Am I still an incel? Or do I become a volcel?

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Denying people you do not want to bang is the inverse of not having anyone who wants to bang you at all.

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If the person declined the sex because of anxiety surrounding sex, relationships, etc. then, although they declined it technically, it was still involuntary because they weren't in charge of that decision - their anxiety was.

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Denying people you do not want to bang is the inverse of not having anyone who wants to bang you at all.

So a volcel then.

That explains a lot. because I'm a virgin but no one knows that and everyone thinks I've been with at least a few women because I have degrees and work out a lot (those don't help at all fyi)

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Joker98 posted...

If the person declined the sex because of anxiety surrounding sex, relationships, etc. then, although they declined it technically, it was still involuntary because they weren't in charge of that decision - their anxiety was.

So an incel then.

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

So wait, am I volcel then? For example, I swipe right on Tinder for a year and no one likes me, but one day a fat chick I would never bone, asks me to come over for sex, and I say no.

Am I still an incel? Or do I become a volcel?

Oddly specific example

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They do help, but they're stat buffs on equipment that you have yet to utilize. Common misconception is that being hot is all it takes.

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People like this usually have serious anxiety issues that cause them to avoid opportunities. So, sort of.

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I think most incels have a perfectly functional penis if they really want to stop being celibate.

I don't know how not finding someone who meets your standards for a serious relationship became known as "involuntarily celibate".

Even if you cannot function socially, those problems are deeper than just not having sex. Stop defining your life by how much sex others have in comparison. Sex having is not an identity

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LivingLegend posted...

Yes.

If you get rejected 100% by girls you like then you are still incel even if someone asked you to have sex but you didnt want to.

ehhhhhhh

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I feel like being an incel evolved to having this sense of entitlement to 10/10 women based on what I've observed over the years.

Because they can't have that, they're celibate. Misogyny seems to go in hand with being an incel too, but I haven't gotten a sense of that from the TC.

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

So wait, am I volcel then? For example, I swipe right on Tinder for a year and no one likes me, but one day a fat chick I would never bone, asks me to come over for sex, and I say no.

Am I still an incel? Or do I become a volcel?

I'd say still an incel. Most incels could just pay for sex anyways. It's more of a "want to bang a chick I'm actually attracted to without paying for it" type of thing. Or maybe they want a true relationship

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EndOfDiscOne posted...

People like this usually have serious anxiety issues that cause them to avoid opportunities. So, sort of.

that makes a lot more sense

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Will_VIIII posted...

I feel like being an incel evolved to having this sense of entitlement to 10/10 women based on what I've observed over the years.

Because they can't have that, they're celibate. Misogyny seems to go in hand with being an incel too, but I haven't gotten a sense of that from the TC.

yeah it does feel that way

so an incel has to be someone who gets no matches on tinder then?

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Then you're not an incel, you're a cel

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

So a volcel then.

That explains a lot. because I'm a virgin but no one knows that and everyone thinks I've been with at least a few women because I have degrees and work out a lot (those don't help at all fyi)

This is one of the only things that boosts my confidence slightly, people assuming I've had gf's and sex. It makes it feel like, on the surface level, it's not completely obvious how pathetic I really am.

Also, anxiety and depression really screw me over socially. I just don't know how to connect to people. It's just the cherry on top that no one has ever actually been interested. The few times I thought I was picking up obvious signals turned out to just be me being stupid. It's humiliating and really just hammers home that no one ever would want someone like me.

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LivingLegend posted...

Yes.

If you get rejected 100% by girls you like then you are still incel even if someone asked you to have sex but you didnt want to.

There were times though where the girl was kinda hot (like big boobs but yellow teeth) and liked me but I blew it by coming off wrong, or just coming to tits I guess

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KogaSteelfang posted...

This is one of the only things that boosts my confidence slightly, people assuming I've had gf's and sex. It makes it feel like, on the surface level, it's not completely obvious how pathetic I really am.

Also, anxiety and depression really screw me over socially. I just don't know how to connect to people. It's just the cherry on top that no one has ever actually been interested. The few times I thought I was picking up obvious signals turned out to just be me being stupid. It's humiliating and really just hammers home that no one ever would want someone like me.

Koga you've been saying this for so long. I just wonder: are you like me? Do you have hundreds of matches on dating apps but just don't like people when they start to like you?

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Mitch_Haniger posted...

Koga you've been saying this for so long. I just wonder: are you like me? Do you have hundreds of matches on dating apps but just don't like people when they start to like you?

Well, I'm currently only using bumble, and I stopped swiping when I matched with someone who is willing to talk to me. So, 1 match.

I generally don't have any issues getting lots of matches, but that's as far as it goes. I'll message and get ignored, or they unmatch, or the match just sits there in a list. There is no "when they start to like" because it's dead as soon as they swipe.

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Turning down opportunities isn't the act of someone who claims they're unfairly rejected at every turn. There's still a difference between "I can't" and "I won't" -- except maybe in cases of "I won't try because I know I can't succeed".

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KogaSteelfang posted...

Well, I'm currently only using bumble, and I stopped swiping when I matched with someone who is willing to talk to me. So, 1 match.

I generally don't have any issues getting lots of matches, but that's as far as it goes. I'll message and get ignored, or they unmatch, or the match just sits there in a list. There is no "when they start to like" because it's dead as soon as they swipe.

You shouldn't stop talking when you find someone. That's probably part of the reason why you never get anywhere (I never get anywhere either so I feel fine talking like that). Continue to pursue other women and treat them as someone you want to get to know until you make it official. Like a little GameFAQs friend. Don't go from "she swiped right on me" to "let's get married." Girls want to try guys out and play the field like anyone else

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Firewerx posted...

Turning down opportunities isn't the act of someone who's rejected at every turn. There's still a difference between "I can't" and "I won't" -- except maybe in cases of "I won't try because I know I can't succeed".

I turn down opportunities from women who want me, but EVERY women I've ever wanted has rejected me

I realize now that if I had accepted some of those women I rejected, I would have so much more experience now and probably be able to get what I wanted

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